Well, there's not much to me. I'm Anthony and i'm a seventeen year old boy living in suburbia. I have awesome friends who I would do anything for and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I currently am enrolled in my senior year of Highschool and im the advice collumnist in my school's newpaper (as well as the Features Editor). I enjoy voicing my opinion and I believe in voicing it whenever I can. I hate closed-minded ignorant people who only see things their way and I hate liars. I registered with this site because I love to give a helping hand to those who need it and if you have a problem, don't hesitate to ask for my advice. ^__^
E-mail: DemonicAnthony@cox.net
Gender: Male
Location: Rhode Island
Occupation: Student
Age: 17
AIM: DaisukeDarkThief
Member Since: December 10, 2004
Answers: 11
Last Update: December 12, 2004
Visitors: 2172
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Well, about four years ago, my father divorced my mother. It took a little over three years for the divorce to go through. During that time, my father treated me like crap. He was constantly yelling at me, picking on me, and just making me completely miserable. On time, he told his family that I should go to fat camp, and they all laughed at me. He's called me "fat, ugly, stupid, and a piece of sh**." I tried running away, but he caught me, and dragged me back. He also dropped me off on the side of a highway in the middle of winter, and drove off. He lead me to become so depressed, I would hurt myself.
Their divorce was finaliazed, but we had to move our of our house and move in with my grandma. I still visit him on Fridays and Sundays. He's been making us look at houses for him, which makes me really upset. He won't support us at all because he claims he has no money, but he owns his own business, and I've done some detective work, and found out how much he makes. I hate going with him because all we do is look at houses, and it bothers me because we had to move out of our house. My 16th birthday was in September and not one person from his side of the family realized how old I was. My father didn't even have a cake for me. This was one of the most important birthdays for a girl, and he totally ignored it. He just left yesterday to go with his girlfriend to Florida, and didn't even invite us, and also waited until the night before to tell us he was going. He doesn't plan on seeing us when he moves to Florida in a couple of years. Should I just stop goign with him? I'm 16-years-old, and I would rather spend my Friday nights with my friends. I want to have a father, but not one that makes me feel so crappy. What should I do? Should I continue to visit him for the sake of having a father, or should I just forget about him? Thank you so much for helping! (link)
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I think it would be best to just tell him to screw and be done with it. You deserve so much better than a father that treats you like shit. You should be able to hang out wiht your friends on fridays and not have to go with him "house" hunting. He's a prick, simple as that. He's abusive emotionally and no one should be subjected to stuff like that. So this is what you do. You tell him that you've had enough of his bullshit and that you refuse to include him in your life. Your mother and grandmother are wonderful people, so you dont need your dad at all. :) Tell him to screw for me, okay? :D Love you!!!!
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I guess the best way to describe how I need advice is to briefly explain my situation.
I met this guy on Saturday Nite. The moment I saw him, I was stuck with a still focus. He looked back and forth, but it wasnt until his friend pointed out to him that I was looking over.
His friend tapped me on the shoulder and said that my friend is interested in you, but scared in approaching you. Nervous, well I guess we both were.
I walked over and introduced myself very bluntly, but friendly, because I thought that it was now or never. I shook his hand, and we briefly chatted, but the nervousness kept blocking both of us in having a normal conversation.
about 1 hour later, I walked back over to him and I gave him my mobile phone, and said 'here can i have your number'? He said yes, and put it in.
He offered to drive me home, as I was not driving that night. I was about to say yes, but I walked over to my friends, and asked them for advice. 2 of them said to say no, because unless you want to have sex tonight, dont go. I didnt go, because I never sleep with someone just for sex. Its more a need to trust first, then sex second.
I refused and said I would call him. He said ok.
I called him the next day, being sunday, and he invited me over for a movie at his place. I made it there at about 9pm. We spoke briefly, but went straight into the movie. It was probable the wrong movie to watch because it was a little erotic. I didnt choose this because of the erotic level, but rather because it had a story to it as well, and it was amazing.
after the movie, we spoke about out past a bit, about our interests as so on. He shared a lot of information, and I listened open minded. Then he asked me about my past. I was hesitant at first, but only because every other person I have met on a previous time has not wanted to see me again based on my past. No I havent murdered anyone, but I have been through a lot with my parental upbringing, meaning my parents subjected me to quite a vast amount of emotional torture. I never really have gotten over it, but everyday I try. I am only 25 but all the pain stopped at approx. 21. but the last 4 years have been very hard because emotionally and spiritually I have been very confused, very lost, and lonely due to it all.
Anyway, I told him that I didnt want to tell him yet, because of people running away due to the emotionally deepness of it all. He still wanted to know, and he put his head on my lap and started to stoke my knee, saying its ok, im not going anywhere. Please tell me. So i did. Not all, but bits and pieces. He still layed on my lap, but he grew more and more speechless and I became more and more confused. He said that although its a lot of information, its stuff people usually never tell people. I said well you persisted in asking me, I wasnt going to tell you, but I did only because you asked.
It was now 3am Monday Morning. I didnt want to drive home, because it was 35 minutes drive, and I said, if i slept here on the couch would you be offended. he said, come and sleep on my bed, and we can just cuddle, and nothing more, i promise.
I said ok. I walked into his room, and he kissed me, I stopped and looked at him, but the kiss was so passionate that I kissed him back. We didnt have sex, he didnt even offer. but what i did was fall asleep next to him, holding his hand.
I woke up, needed to leave, and said I have to go, around 7:30am this was. He said, kiss me, I did, and it was so different, because I have never felt this way. It wasnt love, I know, but it wasnt Lust either, It just felt really nice to be held by someone again. It was a long time since this had happened.
I left, and he walked me to my car. I opened my window, and he kissed me through the car window goodbye.
I drove off confused So Very Confused. Because It was the first time I had ever felt this feeling inside, but I was feeling very weird. He is 21 by the way.
I got home, got dressed, and headed off to work. I took my mobile with me, but because I had not much sleep, and this emotional feeling that was inside me exploding inside me, made me not keep my mind on my job all monday. I texted him later in the day, and I said that I had never felt this way before, and I dont want to scare you off, but am i moving too fast in saying that I feel something with you, something so powerful, something so profound and I cant explain it. He said no. You are not moving fast at all. Its ok.
I left that phone call thinking that this might be the one. and yes it was only the second day, but my heart was powerfully moved and my emotional connection with him was rapidly moving to climax. I wasnt sure of it all.
Tuesday came, and I rang him that night and offered him to come to meditation class with me. I said that its not hard to learn, and I would really love for you to come. I said think about it and please let me know either way. The class was on Wednesday Night at 7:30pm. He kept referring the whole meditation thing as 'HIPPY STUFF'. But I tried to reassure him that it wasnt.
Wednesday came, I didnt hear anything all day, so I turned on my phone, and texted him at 6:30pm. I said that I am off to Meditation class soon, and are you still coming. He first texted me and said, that you need to slow down a bit, cos im getting freaked out. I was ok, sure sorry I will.
he texted me back and said I am sorry, I am up having dinner with a mate. would you like to come and join us. I replied and said but im not dressed, and im in my work clothes. he said its ok. so i did.
I showed up, and we had dinner. he wasnt as talkative as usual, but I mean, we had been in contact non-stop, well actually I had been, not him, for the past 4 days. But remember he said I wasnt moving too fast. So i interpreted this as ok, keep moving at the current speed, its fine.
I spoke more to his mate and his mate was 15ish years older than him. We all walked to a quiet bar and sat and talked. I drant water because I didnt feel like alcohol. He didnt also. he sat next to me, and we hardly spoke. I guess I was nervous being with him like this, because the more I saw him, the more I grew closer to him. I didnt think it was love, but it sure felt like it.
I spent most of the nite on my mobile phone, texting people, because I was very nervous, and I didnt want to come on too strong, and I didnt want to freak him off. I liked him too much and didnt want to loose him to something so simple as my egarness.
he told me that i should put the phone down, but before i did, I texted him and said "do you know you are so sexy tonight"
he replied saying "haha. I know"
I thought nothing of the comment, and started talking about other things. then a friend from work came in and saw me. I was all nervous, i dont know why, but she walked past and said hi.
she sat over to my left on another lounge with 3 other girls. He was looking over at these people, and lots of others that walked past him. it was a little sad to watch his eyes roll all over them.
then suddenly he put his arm around me and yelled really loud, SO EVERYONE KNOWS NOW! ITS NO LONGER A SECRET. it embarrised me so much, but i didnt hate him, i just grew more silent. His friend told him to stop it, because he was embarrising me.
What confused me was the fact that one minute he is laying on my lap, begging me to tell him my past, stoking my knee. sleeping together, holding his hand. kissing him. kissing me goodbye through the car window. telling me i am not moving fast, and then i am, and that i am scaring him off. then inviting me out to dinner, and not talking to me much, and then putting his arms around me and speaking loudly. I didnt know what messages he was sending me, and it was making me emotionally confused.
We finished the night off, walking along the beach, the 3 of us, and then heading to a bar, where i played a game of pool with his mate. It was an all in all good nite, except he was silent, and he didnt say goodbye to me, but his friend said bye instead. his friend offered me a concert ticket to join the two of them on Monday night. I accepted.
He didnt say goodbye, and I was confused further. I guess I knew something had happened. but what?
I texted him in the morning, and said thank your for the night, and that I enjoyed myself quite a bit. by the way, we had already organised another date just the two of us, a few days earlier. on friday nite to have dinner somewhere.
anyway i texted him saying that i had a great night and that i enjoyed myself. I switched off my phone, and went to work, and didnt switch it back on, because i couldnt take any distractions today due to heavy work load.
I got home at 6:30pm, turned it on, and recieved a text back from his mate and him. his mate said that he got the tickets to the concert, 2nd row. but he texted me saying that I made him out to be a complete slut last night, and that i embarrised him. well I was confused again, but I was so sad to be confronted like that, so i texted him right back, and said I was on my way to talk to you to explain myself properly. He texted me back saying that he would rather speak about it on friday night. tonight was thursday. I said fine, ok, no worries, but also said sorry for any problems I may have caused.
I went over a friends house that evening, and he was online on the dating website I joined. although we didnt meet through this site, because it was local, we met at a bar. I messaged him and said hey, its me.
he messaged me back 10 minutes later. and he wrote that we could never have a relationship due to what happened last night and that because you hinted to me that you want a full on relationship, and that i dont. He said just because of this comment it doesnt mean that I want to f#%k around, but rather I cant see myself with you now. I am only 21.
I messaged him back, trying to get an explaination for the comment. he said join me in a private message chat room. i did.
he said that because of all of the shit last nite, i cant see myself with you long term. you are ready for a relationship and i am not. his profile on the website also states that he is after a relationship too. so again i was confused.
I started to cry and my friend i was with sitting next to me, was very confused, as to why i was getting so attached so soon to someone i barely knew.
we chatted for approx. 1 hour. and i poored so much emotion out that night, he didnt speak at all. I said all what i have told you, that the mixed messages, moving too fast then im not, so on. and he said, that why are you like this. any normal person would have told you to f#@k off by now, because you are freaking me out. then i was so sad, for that comment, i said i was hurt, my heart was crushed, and so on. [I can still feel the pain right now]. I said that i am not sure if i can be just friends because all i want to do is grab you kiss you and hold you. I feel something so profoundly impactfully stong and powerful, and why you dont see this, is beyond me. I said that if we were to sustain a friendship, after this big week, I would have to bottle all my feelings for you, and put a lid on them all. and try to be just friends. but i said it would be hard.
and then he said very little, but he said he wants to be friends. more than ever. but I was too sad to make a decision that night. he said he had to go to sleep for work the next day.
I couldnt sleep all night, because of the issues looming in my mind. i woke up every 1 hour tossing and turning. I woke up at 6:30am, and texted him one last time being Friday, the day we are to go out for a date. I said i was sorry for last night, sorry for going all emotionally distraught, so on. and I would like to come over tonight and speak to you in person, if that is to say goodbye, or to stay friends, i dont want to do it on the internet or the phone, i need to speak to you face to face.
I did ring his friend and say that I am shocked. that has he spoken to him? and he said no. I told him briefly, that I was feeling so connected to him, and I was afraid that i stuffed it all up, that i destroyed it all, because i moved fast. he said i did move too fast, but there is something you must know about this guy you are in love with. he is a very touchy feelie person. he did the exact same thing to another person 2 months ago. and the same reaction you are having happened. I said that have i blown my chances, and he said i am not sure, but i will talk to him, and say that you are deeply regreting loosing him as a friend. I said thanks. I also said that do you think that i should give the concert a miss because I might be moving again too fast too soon. seeing too much, and he may need time to settle down. cool down so to speak.
he said ill get back to you after i speak to him today.
which brings me to now. writing this.
the advice i am after is:
was i too fast.
am i too emotionally deep
is there something wrong with me
did i do things wrong.
why did i get attached so emotionally to this person
and what was the feeling in my body, if it wasnt love and wasnt lust.
i dont know if its me, but it sure feels like hell today. I am awaiting his return message but i am doubting he will message me and let me speak to him tonight.
ps: sorry my story is so long. i needed to set the story right so you could understand better.
thank you for reading it. (link)
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I'm going to answer each of your questions one at a time.
was i too fast.
-I really don't think YOU were moving to fast. You even asked him if you were. I think he's a little screwed up in the head. I mean honestly. He's playing head games with you. You didn't do anything wrong. He wanted you to sleep in his bed with him. He wanted to hear your story. He invited you out. He YELLED to everyone in the bar. HE did all these things, not you. He's screwing with your head and he dosnt deserve your love.
am i too emotionally deep
-I think you really need to ditch this guy. He dosnt sound to stable.
is there something wrong with me
-There is NOTHING wrong with you. Never think that there is something wrong with you when this guy was tugging your chain the whole time.
did i do things wrong.
-Nope. You asked him if you were moving too fast and he said no.
why did i get attached so emotionally to this person and what was the feeling in my body, if it wasnt love and wasnt lust.
-I think you were just looking for someone to be with and he happened to be the first person to show an intrest in you at the time.
I think you should just tell the guy to screw off because you don't need to take his shit. He's playing mind games with you and you need to get out while you can. Tell him you're sick of his bull and that you don't want to talk to him anymore. Thats what I would do and I hope my advice helps you in some way. :) Hope that helped.
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if you had the opportunity to have sex with someone you weren't dating but have hooked up with a lot over the past few months would you? i guess im just wondering because everyone says sex is supposed to be a "special" thing you share with someone you love. I think i'm ready but i'm not even dating the guy let alone love him-so if i think he is the right guy to have sex with is he worth the risk? My friend told me, "if you like him don't do it, if you don't like him then go for it"
also on a side note-if you were my friend would you lose respect for me if i made the decision to have sex?
thanks a lot yall :) (link)
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I don't believe in having sex with random people. Sex should be something you do with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. If you dont love the guy, then don't have sex with him. Thats my opinion anyway. I cant tell you what to do, only give you my insight on the issue. I believe you should just wait until you find mr. right, get to know him and if you two feel like it's going to last then by all means go for it. But dont have sex just to have sex. I hope this helped ^_^
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I have a friend. We've been bestfriends for 3 years now. Well lately, we haven't been talking to eachother. She found some new friends, as have I. But I mean, once in a while, we'll talk. But, she's become this total slut. Seriously. She'll makeout with any guy (no matter the age). Plus she cheats on her boyfriend. She also tells everyone that she's gotten drunk/high/fingered/given a blowjob/given a handjob/had sex. Which is so not ture! But everyone at school is thinking she's a whore. I know she doesn't do it. But I have a feeling that she might, someday. She's only 12. But, she does all these crazy things with boys. No one likes her anymore. (link)
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I really don't know what you're asking, but what i will say that if your friend wants to lie to get attention then let her. She's craving negitive attention. If you want to help, i suggest talking to her about how you feel or even (since she's only 12) going to her parents and let them know what shes doing. I hope that helped ^_^
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my boyfriend seems like hes my life i cant stop ever thinking about him and i always talkt o him on the phone and on AIM but now my grades are failing and my mom and dad says that if i dont get my grades up my life will be a living hell!!! there really strict on my grades! i dont know what i should do how do i jugle my boyfriend and school? also my friends?!!! also my boyfriend lives right next door thats why i see him so much!! thank you~! (link)
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My advice is to spend more time with school work, and spend the free time you have after completing homework/studying with your boyfriend and friends. School right now has to be the most important thing, sadly, because you dont want to fail out of school and end up working at like Burger King for the rest of your life. Remember, you do have the weekends to devote to your boyfriend :) Hope this helped.
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me and my bf have been together for a long time now. we haven't gone very far at all. he loves me and i love him but he is pressuring me into going further. i know for sure i don't want to because im not ready. im 14. i love him tho and i want to make him happy... what do i do? he respects me and everything so its not like he is like DO IT OR I WILL BREAK UP W/ YOU i can just tell he really wants to and he asks me if i will and stuff. sometimes he tries to do stuff and i tell him to stop but he keeps trying. later i talk to him about it and he says he jsut cant help it. ill rate (link)
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You have to do what you want to do. If you dont want to do what he wants to, you have all the right to stop him. If he respected you he wouldnt continue to advance on your when you tell him no. If I was in your situation, I would have a one on one talk with him about the situation. Tell him he's starting to make you feel uncomfortable and that you like the speed you are going at and dont feel ready to advance any further. If this is a problem for him, then I think it would be best for your own well being to break it off with him. :) I hope this helped.
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I went derrell online .we talked online for one months.I gave him my phone number ,he started to call me ,he's really funny.I think I like him
he also askedme out and I said yes.now he's the only thing I think about,dream about and talk about.but I'm having some doubts,he lives really far from me.I kind of scare to tell what I feel
when he asks me what I want to talk about I say nothing.what should I do??
(link)
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I think you should get a boyfriend closer to yourself. Online relationships are tricky due to the fact you really dont know who you're talking to most of the time. For all you know, regardless to the phone calls, he could be a 40 year old child molestor. I think it's best if you try and get a boyfriend in your own area so that its 1.) safer and 2.) more convient for you. I hope this helps and above all stay safe. :)
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alrighty..well i have a big group of friends over alot...but its starting to get boring because we just do the same thing over and over and over again...we either come to one of our houses and watch movies, or go to the movies...i want to do something new! and fun! what should we do?...btw..something guys and girls would have fun doing...but we are all just friends, so nothing gross..if ya know what i mean lol (link)
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Well, if there are ice skating rinks near your house you could always go ice skating. Also, the mall is a nice place to just walk around and talk. Also, you could always go to an arcade and spend a day there if you all like video games. :) I hope this helped.
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okay theres this guy that likes me.. and i used to like him. I sit with him evryday at lunch. Hes so controlling. I cant stand it anymore. All my friends say i should ask him out or he should ask me but i cant stand him anymore.!! Seriously. He really bugs me!! i turn my cell phone off just so i dont have to talk to him at night. He asks whats wrong with my phone, i tell him i couldnt talk anyways or that my older sister was using my phone and it went dead. That was true Wednesday Night tho. Yesterday in the note he rote me.. he told me.. "Dotn make any plans for Saturday night. We're doing something. What we're doing i dont know.. but"
See i cant put up with that anymore.
What can i do?
Please help me...
Christine (link)
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The best solution is to tell him straight out that you need space. You need to let him know that you need time away from him. If he doesn't like it, thats too bad for him. You are control of your own life, not him. But don't make up lies because it will only make the situation worse. The best thing is to be direct and tell him that he needs to calm down and let you breathe. I hope this helped ^_^
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theres this guy that im kinda friends with (im a grl) and on the way back from one of our classes i could walk with him n stuff cuz he walks alone and so do i but i dont know what to say to him because i dont realy know anything about him besides that he goes to my hebrew school. what could i say to him? ill rate! thanx (link)
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The most important thing to do is get to know the kid better. Try and get together outside of school like go to the movies or out to eat. Talk to him about your initrests and try to find out his. Just ask some questions about him and you'll see that the questions will come naturally to you. ^_^ I hope this helped.
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my mom and dad are realllly religous and they want me to be religous and i dont want to be! i need to be my self and belive what i want. i mean i talk to jesus and pray to him but i cant be saying PRAISE GOD! every SECOND!!! help i dont know what to say to them!! (link)
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The best thing to do is to approach your parents directly. Tell them that you do infact beleive in God but you feel that you don't have to go proclaiming it every single second of your life. Tell them that you're happy with the way you speak with God even if you're not being overly religious. Your parents will probably understand. You'd be surprised at how understanding most parents are. I hope this helped ^_^
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