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DearAdvicenters,
Christmas means a lot to me and I have always tried to make it a happy day for my family. I decorate the house, put up a tree, my husband cooks for a big family get-together, and of course the exchanging of presents. This tradition has become problematic.
There is definitely a sense of entitlement on the part of the boys. (One is 16 and the other 20). They are “entitled” to a big and expensive Christmas. They want to know how much things cost; they complain that they didn’t get as much as the year before; they complain one got more than the other or the presents they did get don’t really qualify to be “special” Christmas gifts. They complain that my husband and I spend more on each other than on them. And to top it off, although I say it doesn’t have to be expensive and can even be handmade, they don’t always even contribute gifts to each other or to my husband and I themselves.
It is extremely difficult however to “tone down” Christmas. When December approaches, I get sentimental and I strive to have that Norman Rockwell Christmas where every face around the tree is happy and glowing. I can’t stand the feeling of guilt that I will have if I haven’t at least tried to give them a wonderful Christmas. Perhaps this stems from the fact that my mother was depressed when I was growing up, but she always seemed to rally around the holidays and, as a result, I got the attention that I sometimes lacked during the year.
II would be really sad to give up the family gift-opening on Christmas morning. The older son has received the benefit of these plentiful Christmases until he is 21 so I feel that the younger one deserves the same until he is 21. At the same time, I know in my heart that this just isn’t working and has to be changed. Please help! I've got a Christmas Conundrum.
(link)
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Step One: Tell Them Nicely To Stop Complaining
Step Two: Take it back ;) [wink] and make them think you actually took it back, (everything they're complaining about) and when you see improvement in gratefulness, give it back.
Good luck.
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Ok...I'm 15/F and I was wondering if it would be a good idea to tell my mom that I want to go on birth control just in case something happens between me and my boyfriend. Or should I go on it when I am positive that something is going to happen? And do you think it's ok for a 15 year old girl to lose her virginity or do you think I am too young? Thank you. (link)
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I think its too young. If you look at my colum, you will see me telling countless people this. At a young age like this, you have sex = boyfriend loses all respect. My friend had sex and the next day her boyfriend insulted her, hit her and threw her on the ground. I would avoid sexual intercourse at all costs. other things (try to avoid them) but if they happen, they happen. Good Luck
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at my school, we go back to on monday because we were on winter break for 2 weeks. well as most of you ive been staying up really late.. from 1-4 a.m. and i have to go to bed for school at 9:30 because i have to wake up early. the problem is that im not gonna be able to fall asleep that early! any tips? please dont say go to bed early for the last couple of nights because i cant.. i babysit basically from 8 PM-2 AM tomorrow and so thats not a posibility.. also me and my cousins are having a sleepover on saturday and we go to bed really late. any tips on falling asleep quickly on sunday night? (i definitely cant cancel any of the plans) thanks bunches! (link)
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I had the same problem. After school one of the days, take a nap for about an hour and a half maybe two at the most. don't sleep past 6pm and try being in bed by 10 or 10:30. Try it
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15/f
Hello, recently I have had major problems with my friends and I have really only been hanging out with my mom. We have fun and all, but is this healthy? She seems to be the only person I can count on who actually likes me for who I am.
Thanks! =) (link)
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That is completely healthy. My mom is like a friend. Sometimes i love her, sometimes i wanna slap the shit outta her, but overall, shes always there. Mom will always be there sweetie. And someone out there is dying to be your friend. So let them in, and things will be great.
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okay so i'm a little scared i'm 13f and my boyfriend wants to have sex with me and i havn't even started my period yet and i'm afraid if i have it with him something bad might happen can someone please help me i'm afraid. (link)
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Honey, you're way too young. I won't reveal my age, but my bestfriend is your age. Her boyfriend dated her for 1 month. Then they had sex because he "wanted to". Two days after, he started being mean to her. He called her a whore "just kidding" (yeah right) and started hitting her. On new years eve, he went to hang out with the girl who has always liked him. He made out with her twice, some other girl like 6 times and then called my friend and dumped her. That stuff never would have happened, if she listened to me, and didn't have sex with him.
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I am scared as hell when talking to the opposite sex...I believe I am inferior...
I wish to know anything that might help me be a more effective communicator...to help me gain confidence to get a relationship... (link)
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Try this. When you talk to the oppisite sex, talk to that person like you have no interest in them relationship-wise and they will loosen up and so will you. Try it.
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I'v always wanted to become an actress. I'v taken acting and modeling classes since I was 6, but I'm only 15. I have 3 years before I can move anywhere. How can I find auditions in the area I live in? I live in Albuquerque, NM. (link)
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I'm a great agent if you need one. I know you don't know me but I could help you.
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Okay www.litewebs.com is my webhosting company. And for some reason my webhosting company is looking for a billing system that accept credit cards. Now I have tried modernbill.com which sucks. What do you suggest I am not looking for any thing like paypal. I want people to be able to go into there account and change there dns and stuff. (link)
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Try http://www.spidergraphics.com/ They're a great company based in Ithaca NY, right near where I live. I don't know if you've heard of the finger lakes reigon of NY, but all the huge wineries use Spider Graphics. Try that. Hope i helped. Thanks for asking! ~Erik
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so my ex boyfriend dumped me for this girl, straight out told me he was only with me because he couldnt get her.
he's being really confusing .. and not helping me to get over him. like he saw my away message sayin i was at the wrestling meet ( he came on right after i put my away up ) and i get to the wrestling meet and he shows up right after me, and sits a row in front of me. like right there. && well today i was suppose to hang out with a kid named tom. and my away message again and this time it said bonfire with tom. and tom and my ex are friends. so i get to toms and he's like i talked to mark. he said he saw you away message and he was going to stop up but he was out of service range when i called him.
why is he going out of his way to be where i am, its not making it easy for me .. he dumped me for a whore, he really hurt me this time (we've had a few problems in the past, we were together 9 monhts) i cant be friends with the guy i love, cause i cant get over him. but hes everywhere. i want to say something ... but what, and is that a good or bad idea? ... :-/ (link)
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I've never given an answer like this before, but FUCK HIM. i dont have enough info to give you any advice, if you wanna you can IM Me (AIM) Erockmichael36
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Ok, I don't know if this is in the right catogorey or not but oh well. I have been sooo deppresed latley. I just don't know if i can deal with it. i need some help, i can't talk to my friends and i don't want to talk to my parents. i've even talked about killing myself. i really want to do that so i don't have to deal with my huge problems anymore. what do i do?
13/f (link)
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Maybe you should see a doctor. It doesn't necessarily have to be a therapist, your physician might be able to help you. Thanks for asking! ~Erik
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Now for some reason I don't have a girl friend. I have been single for a while now. I'm a nice person but something has to be wrong because I can't get a girl this pisses me off. What should I do, I mean I have tried to do it all try to take them to the movies and stuff I don't know what to do. (link)
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It's completely ok. The time will come soon. Whatever you do, don't let people tell you that you're gay or you're gonna "go gay" if you don't have a girlfriend, thats not true. You probally are just too good for all the girls you've met, and thats not necessarily a bad thing. Thanks for asking! ~Erik
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I had sex with this boy
and I like him still.
This was during the summer, when school started he was okay and nice.
Then I moved out of his area , but I still go to his school.
He started being a complete jerk to me , and calling me fat and ugly and stuff.
yet, he stares at me constantly.
What the heck is this all about?
I dont understand at all. (link)
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Well, (others may agree with me) if you aren't wise about who you have sex with, especially if you aren't dating, once you do it, that person will stop respecting you. I've seen it happen time after time again. Thanks for asking! ~Erik
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what does mamacita mean? (link)
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Well, a very interesting question, that once was mine. Mamacita is spanish for "Mommy".
Thanks For Asking!
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