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BethanywrenboyerMember Since:
October 12, 2010Answers:
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January 18, 2011Visitors:
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Hey my name is Bethany. I am in college majoring in psychology. Feel free to ask me a question, email, or IM me. I would love to hear from you.
advice
Here's my situation
I recently got into a long distance relationship
with someone who i met online he's 22 i'm 20 his name's Luke we get along great and we've got tons of things in common but here's the catch he's got a friend she's a girl her name's Keke and she's saying things like she wants to marry him & she told me she likes him she thinks were best friends
and aren't dating i'm scared he'll leave me and
end up going to her and i'll be left alone i feel like she's coming between us and i feel left out i
feel like he loves her more then me i really want this to work out between us and i'll be upset if it doesn't i'm unsure of what to do and how to approach this...
Advice please(:
If you and this guy are in an exclusive relationship why doesn't his friend know? Long distance relationships are hard enough without having to wonder if your boyfriend is only into you or not. I would just bite the bullet and confront him with the issue. Ask him if he likes the girl as more than a friend or not. If he says yes I would just go ahead and end the relationship. It is better to end things early and be upset sooner, than to be more invested in he relationship then you already are and get hurt more later. If he says he isn't then let him know you are going to tell his friend that you are in a relationship, or that he needs to tell her. If he isn't okay with then he is hiding things from you and once again you just need to end it. I know it's not fun but confrontation is the only way to solve this problem for good.
Good Luck
My best friend and I have been friends for about 3 years now. He's funny, smart, caring, all that good stuff.....and I've had a crush on him for the past 2 years. I have never been able to tell if he liked me, so I told him a few months back that I had feelings for him. He said he wasn't sure if he felt the same way. But lately, he's been acting a little different. He seems like he likes being with me, since he drags me everywhere he goes. He gets a little quiet when I talk about another guy friend of mine, and he refuses to talk to me if I'm talking to a guy friend of ours. Our friends keep telling me that he likes me and that he flirts with me, but I've always been oblivious to that sort of thing, so I have no idea if he actually does.
It sounds like he may like you. Some of the signs are there like him not really wanting you to talk to other guys. If you told him that you had feelings for him and he didn't run away that's a good sign. I think you should sit him down and tell him how you feel again and let him know if he still isn't sure that this will be the last time you bring it up. If he says he does like you go from there. If he says he doesn't or he is unsure don't bring it up again and start talking to other guys. If he changes his mind then he'll come talk to you. That's probably the best way to find out what you want to know and keep the friendship together in the process.
I've been with my boyfriend for a while now, and he used to do all of these things, but now he has pretty much stopped:
no more "I wish we could live together" or "I never get tired of you"
no more talk of the future
no more I want to spend all of my time with you
no more "Can I come over?"
no more texting me sweet texts
no more saying you make me happy
no compliments at all except physical ones. unless i ask for one.
In addition, he sometimes rejects me (sexually). But he still claims he loves me. He still wants to hang out on weekends, but not during the week anymore. Sometimes I feel like he still cares, but other times but gut just feels wrong. I've brought it up with him before..and he says of course he loves me. But then his actions just don't seem to match up with his words. Does he still care about me? help!
Over the course of a relationship a lot of things change and it's normal not to be as lovey and sweet as you were when you first met. Even though that is true it sounds like he is taking you for granted. He has been with you so long that he doesn't feel like he needs to work for you anymore. This is a very dangerous situation in relationships, and one that you need to take action with. I would advise hanging out with your friends more, making him call you first, and not being available every time he wants to hang out or talk to you. I know that this will be hard for you at first, but it will make him take a look at how's been acting, and move you up on his priority list. If he completely didn't care then he probably wouldn't be with you, but you definitely need to give him space and let him come after you or this won't get any better, and will probably get worse.
Good Luck
Okay so alot of my friends are mad at ke cause they thinks I act like "12 different people" they think I change my personality around other people. I've talked to alot of people and they say that's not True at all. my friends were my absolute BEST FRIENDS no joke. A lot of you will say 'if there your true friends they will forgive you' but that's not how it works in this case. Anyways I told them I don't try to act like different people, I can say I'll change and stuff but you don't believe me. They are very confrontational and rude about it to. They find a whole bunch of reasons now to be even more mad. They also say I act like my best friend to much, but I don't think I do. (neither does anyone else!) please don't tell me to find other friends or something because I want to work it out but I don't think they do. What can I say to them? Please help!?!!! And also, who am I supposed to sit with at lunch? I have lots of other friends but the people that are mad at me asked me Monday "why do you act like different people and copy (friends name)??" and I was like "umm I don't know... I didn't think I did it but I don't know" and thy are like well we need to know a reason, there is always a reason for that it is not just "I don't know" so what do I say!??? This is like the pending question but I don't know what to say to them! Pleaseeee help ASAP!! Love you guys that help so much!! (and sorrry it's so long) :))
It sounds to me like your friends are jealous for some reason. Your friends shouldn't attack you for being yourself. Even if you were acting like someone else (which I'm sure you weren't) it doesn't hurt them any. It's pretty ridiculous that they are all demanding an answer for your actions and being excessively rude about something that doesn't matter.
I understand that it sucks to have your friends mad at you, but you can't fix something that you aren't doing. What you can do is control your actions. First you need to quit feeding the fire. These girls are looking for drama. The more you freak out and tell them you are sorry and try and get them to talk to you the more fulfillment they get out of it, and the more they can talk about it to eachother. It's hard to create drama over someone who isn't being a participant. If they try and confront you about it again then ask for specific examples of what you are doing that is different from your usual behavior. If they can't come up with an answer or it is really vague then ignore it and say until you can come up with legitimate examples and can stop acting rude then I don't want to have this conversation because it's ridiculous, and then let it go. It's hard to stand up to your friends, but you shouldn't let people walk all over you. As far as who to sit with at lunch goes I would go to a different table. Why would you want to sit at a table of people who are mad at you for no reason? I know it's hard but ignore them for a while and do what I said and I am sure things will get better for you. You deserve to have good friends, and if they are your real friends they will get over this and realize they are being stupid, if they don't I promise youbare better off without them.
me and my boyfriend of 3 years were fighting today about how i gave him 10 dollars and i was going to go get my paycheck after droping him off his friends house but ended up that my paycheck was not in so i needed that ten to get this dress. i asked for it a little upset becuase of my work being stupid. and he was like i spent it and i fliped i was like on what and he wouldnt tell me so im freaking out bcause he wont tell me then he called me names and i threatened him about stuff and now he says its over. well we have fought before but he says he cant do it anymore and i understand but im begging for him here crying and he says he doesnt want me right now and that he doesnt want to see me but cares about me and loves me and im really confused right now. i dont know what to do i told him that this is going to hurt bad for me and im not waitng around forever and i dont know. im really hurt and i dont know if he really does care i told him let me know if i need to move on and he said he doesnt want me to and he said that he doesnt want to date me or anyone right now. but i really love him. i feel alone and this sucks hes leaving in 7 months anyway across seas actually so basically its going to feel like this but now he doesnt want to be with me not that he cant be with me. i feel like a sucky person i feel like he was the only one i could talk to and he can talk to me but not anymore he hasnt been talking to me about anything and thats why i got mad about him not telling me about what he used the ten for so its like why is this happening. i just want to give up on everything. i dont know. i feel real pathetic and i dont have good friends like he was so this is tough. i need help.
Break ups are always hard. I was with a guy for 2 1/2 years before we broke up and it really sucked. You need to get out of the begging for him back stage. As hard as this may be for you don't communicate with him. If you do communicate with him he will know that he can come back to you whenever he pleases, and that shouldn't be the case. When you lose something you tend to focus on the good things that made you happy, and that's why you miss him so much. You should focus on the bad things. If you can't think of any I can help you out. He spent your money and didn't tell you what it was on. Obviuosly it wasn't for you or he would have given it to you. He is also being extremely selfish. He doesn't want you to move on or date, well screw him, he has no power over you. Move on. Date. Let him know you don't need him, stop trying to contact him and start controlling the situation instead of sitting like a sad puppy dog at his feet. Saying he doesn't want you to date doesn't mean he won't. Don't think for two seconds that if he was asked out by a girl then he wouldn't go out with her, because he would. You need to completely switch your point of view and this will go a lot better for you. Go out with friends. If you don't have many make some. You aren't pathetic, you are human, and breakups hurt. Pick your head up and move on. If things are supposed to work out with you they will, and if not then you are just moving on with your life faster. Feel free to let me know how things go through comments, aim, or email they are on my column.
Good luck
Im 17 f. ok, so sometimes when i masterbate like i only do clit but sometimes when i do it it hurts and actually starts bleeding, like a little cut. This happens if im shaved or not shaved. this has only happend a couple of times. So im just wondering, does anyone else have this problem? Why is it doing that? how can i prevent it? Is it cause i do it in one place for a long time or what. And its not like i do it all the time so it woudldnt be from constant rubbing. And advie would help, i just want to know if this is normal or how and why it does that. thank you very much!
It could be that your clitoris is dry and that when you rub it, it causes irritation which causes it to bleed a little bit. If it keeps happening you probably want to see a doctor, otherwise try using a water based lubricant like ky jelly it will keep the clitoris from getting dry and irritated and should stop it from bleeding.
Good luck
i have been getting drunk and "sluttying" it out for a week and i really didnt know my limits. i thought it was all fun and no consequenes.
the other night i got drunk and ended up getting with this boy who has a very serious girlfriend.
it was mutual no one forced the other one, then midway thorugh our hookup his friends came in a stopped it becasue they knew hed regrett it and everything.
and i ran out covering my fave shamefully.
i woke up the next mornign feelign awful.
my friend bumped into the boy and boy was so mean. said make sure she doesnt tell a soul no one oculd ifnd out. she forced herself on me. i didnt enjoy it etc.
i am so mordified and i just feel so ashamed.
i am DONE doing that i really am changing. i am quitting drinkign and the next boy i kiss will be on a legit care about.
just i cant stop feeling bad about myself because of this boy.
i do not have feelings for him but he just dispizes me so much and hates me and make sup that i forced myself on me that i just ahte myself so much and i really just want to go away.
how do i move on from this?
(this is really coming from a serious place this question, if your going to say stop being a slut dont bother- i know i did stupid things and i know i was very whore-ish and thats why im seeking advice)
First of all if this guy has nothing to hide then he wouldn't be telling you not to say anything. He doesn't actually despise you, he despises what he has done because he was wrong. He wasnt that drunk because he still was able to have sex, and obviously you weren't forcing him to do anything, because it was his friends who ended it. Nobody is actually going to believe you took advantage of him in this situation unless they want to delude themselves.
You can't change what has happened, but you can change your attitude about it. The only thing that you have to be embarrassed about was a random hook up, you don't have to be embarrassed that he says you forced yourself on him because you didn't. Rumors do hurt, but i am betting you he's not telling everyone that, and if he did nobody would believe it.
My advice is that you stick to what your saying and try not to get drunk and hook up. You'll get over your embarrassment soon enough. This guy sounds like an ass and a coward. Plus he is a bad boyfriend. He has more to be ashamed of then you do.
Hold your head up high. A lot of girls make the drunken hook up mistake and the only thing to do is learn from it and try not to repeat it.
Good luck.
so my boyfriend and i have been going out for about three months and on friday he tells me that he's going out with friends for the weekend so he thinks something is gonna happen( meaning he might mess around with another chick) and he says if anything happens he will be honest with me about it so i'm like wtf is he being honest saying he cares or is he just taking me for granted
please help
He pretty much is saying hey it's been great, but if I can screw some hot girl this weekend I am going for it. You need to call him and tell him he can fool around with whoever he wants because you two aren't together anymore and then stick to it. You deserve someone who actually cares about you, and no matter what he says he doesn't care about you or he wouldn't cheat. Even if he doesn't cheat in you this weekend it's only because he couldn't manage to hook up with someone. You deserve better.
My bf was talking about me giving him a blow job because i told him i'd give him head this weekend and he was like yeah but he isn't circumsized like other guys. i've never seen a penis so like what is he talking about? what is circumsize and what is not circumsize difference?
A penis that is uncircumcised has extra foreskin at the top that closes over the penis. When he has an erection the foreskin retracts over his penis so you can't see it as well, but when it's flaccid, it makes a top. A circumcised penis had the foreskin removed when, or soon after they were born.
My boyfriend broke up with me over a month ago. I brought up the break up, and he did it. Any way it was only until after we broke up that I realised how much I loved him. We discussed getting back together but he didn't really make an effort, so I told him to make a decision and he couldn't. He says he still loves me he just doesnt know what he wants right now. I told him I no longer want to be friends with him. And that we wouldn't be speaking again. He was a bit angry with me for this. I told him i'd met a few guys (which I had, nothing serious. I'm SINGLE) and he said it hurt him.
Literally 3 days after I told him I didn't want anything to do with him he starts flirting with this girl in a club and kissing her. My friends all saw him, and he kissed her and stuff. One of my friends knows her from college and she said that the girl he kissed fell out with him that night. Do you think he's doing this because he knows i'm out with other guys? He's trying to get over me? Do you think he's gonna contact me again now that it didn't work out with her?
I think you realizing how much you love him after the breakup probably has more to do with the fact that you don't have him anymore than actual feelings of love. Being dumped usually has accompanied feelings of bruised pride, and hoping that the person who dumped you realizes their mistake and wants you back.
This guy had an opportunity to get back together with you and he didn't do it. Even if he did want to get back together with you, why would you do it? He is clearly out trying to find other girls and has no standards because he is making out with them right after meeting them. Do you really want to be his second best girl? If you peruse him you are telling him that he can just pick you back up whenever he wants to. You deserve someone who knows what they have when they have you, not after making out with, and dating other girls to figure out he can't do better.
I would completely quit talking to him and move on. You deserve better.
Good luck
I've been on birth control for a few months and my boyfriend and I have been using condoms the past year. But we want to just use the pulling out method why'll im stilll taking birth control. I take it everyday and the same exact time, so is it safe or should we stick to condoms AND bc?
Ideally birth control is 99.9 percent pregnant when taken everyday at the same time. Birth control works by making your body not ovulate, so if there is no egg to begin with, the sperm has nothing to fertilize.
As far as pulling out goes, it really won't matter if he pulls out or ejaculates inside of you, you have thie same risk of pregnancy. There are plenty of people who use birth control as their only method of birth control and most of them don't get pregnant if used correctly. However there is always the risk of getting pregnant any time you have sex no matter how much protection you are using.
I would recommend reading the facts on birth control and sex online, and decide for yourself if you are comfortable using birth control as your only method of protection.
Good luck
Ok so a year or so ago, I met a guy through one of my best friends. He had only split up from his girlfriend less than a month (he was with her for 2 years) I didn't find this out until after I started dating him. Do you think I was the rebound? I think I was. Anyway I broke up with him over some differences we had. We remained sorta friends in the meantime. He started dating another girl and he has only broken up with her for just over a month. He broke up with her, but I know he still loves her and thinks about her all the time (he told someone I know this) He has started talking to me again and flirting with me, is he just using me to get over her? I know he kissed her last week and she kissed him back but then she told him she doesn't want anything to do with him
The short answer is yes, I do think he is using you as a rebound girl. If he was really crazy about you then he would have tried to get back together with you after you broke up the first time. Obviously you still have some feelings for this guy otherwise you wouldn't even being worrying about it. Think about the differences that made you two break up in the first place. He showed his true colors when he didn't tell you he just got out of a relationship before he started dating you. That's a pretty big deal if he was dating her for two years. If he would lie about something like that, he will lie or withhold information about other things. Don't let him make you his rebound girl again. Stick to being just friends with him, and make it clear you want nothing more. You deserve to be with a guy who doesn't just want to date you as a rebound.
Good Luck
I can never tell when my period is over. It sometimes stops for a day, then comes back. But, after my period for about a day or 2, my urine is brown. is that normal?
You really need to go to a gynecologist and have them examine you. They will be able to tell you if anything is wrong, and they can give you birth control to regulate your period so you only have it once a month. If you are constantly having your period that can lead to other problems like anemia. I would advise you to make an appointment with your doctor to make sure there is nothing seriously wrong, and to regulate your period.
I was taking a shower and I left my phone on the sink...it is an envy touch... Apperently steam got under the touch screen and now it has a reddish tint when it is on(the screen) it is sitting in a bowl of rice...is there anything else I could do? This is now about 12. Hours since I messed it up.
Take your phone apart and blow dry it, it worked for me once.
Good luck
Why does it hurt more to take out a tampon when it hasn't soaked up enough blood??
When you have a tampon in it absorbs all of your vaginal secretions, so your vagina stays dry. When you pull out a tampon that has a lot of blood it provides a lubricant coming out of the vagina. When the tampon is dry there is no lubricant and it causes more friction in the vagina, which causes more pain.
whenever i use a tampon or take it out theres this extra skin.. its not like u can pull it off its thick.. n i dont kno what it is and im worried.. i dont wanna go see a doctor tho! Help me i rate high!
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ok so...im a little confused theres this guy in my 5th period and hes got the most AMAZING eyes in the world..he told me he liked me last year but jokingly and this year he told me the same thing but i think he was serious and asked me out a couple times, hes been asking me for my number and walks me to my 6th period EVERY DAY..i think hes the sweetest thing ever..but at lunch when i see him he always has a girl hugging him or hes putting his arm around some girl..im scared to fall for him because what if he was being dared or just playin around then ill look like a total idiot and i really dont want to get my heart broken again.. :(.....can anyone clear things up or tell me what i can do?
This guy seems to be putting a lot of effort into getting to you know you. You are obviously interested in him so I don't see the harm in giving him your number, or going out with him a few times. You don't have to be exclusive to go on a date with someone. This guy is probably just a flirt, and he is single so he can be. if you did become exclusive I'm sure he would be sitting with you at lunch and not paying attention to other girls. Don't over analyze this, just go with the flow of things and see what happens, you'll probably regret it if you don't.
Good Luck
so i got on facebook last week after i deleted it a week before. i deleted it again then i re-opened it. then i deleted it because im not suppose to get on during school. well anyways this guy i was talking to blocked me. and i don't understand how he could've blocked me since i was on only twice? i stopped contacting him. but i found out he blocked me when i got on my other facebook profile. so yeah i have no feelings for him anymore.
It sounds to me like you just need to quit talking to him. If he wanted to be with you he wouldn't be blocking you on facebook and ignoring you texts. Ask yourself honestly if this guy is really worth all of this trouble. It sounds to me like he is lying about school and dating other people, and the only time he wants to talk to you is when he is lonely and you're not talking to him anymore. Don't you deserve better than that? If I were you I would block him from your facebook, stop responding to his texts, and move on to someone who cares about you all the time.
Good Luck
My ex boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago. We were together for just over a year. He broke up with me (Long story) I didn't want to break up with him but I couldn't control what he wanted, he wanted to stay friends but I said no. He has still tried contacting me quite often and tried kissing me one night in a bar. I asked what he was doing, and whether that meant he wanted to be with me again and he said he doesn't know what he wants really.
I made it perfectly clear I did not want to speak to him anymore...I don't want to be his friend as it's too hard to deal with and he started going mad at me for it. He told me he loves me but he is just unsure what he wants.
I said we won't be friends etc and he said well you never know, you could get a new boyfriend and then break up with him, and we could get back together. anything can happen you don't know what can happen in the future.
Why is he saying that if he doesn't want to be with me???
This guy sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. He loves you, but he's not sure what he wants, he wants to kiss you with no commitment, and he wants you to think there is a possibility of you getting back together with him. In saying those things to you he tries to keep your hope alive that you might get back together with him. He wants to feel like he still matters in your life, but he doesn't actually want to make a commitment. If I were you I wouldn't get back together with him. He is being selfish and immature right now, and the only reason he is mad at you is because you aren't giving him an option to get back together with you if, and when he so chooses. Do you really want to be with a guy who has to break up with you and go date around before he knows you're the one he wants to be with? I would stop talking to him, and responding to any texts or phone calls and move on. It's only damaging to you to keep any hope alive of getting back together with him. You deserve to be with someone who knows what they have when they have you, not after he realizes he can't have you whenever he wants.
Good Luck
17/f. i do have sex i missed a pill last month and started taking my pill regular a week before i was supposed to get my period i spotted like brown stuff for a whole damn week(happends to me sometimes). then i got my "period"? it turned red and a lil heavier well its usually really heavy in first and second day but it was unusually lighter than usual to me. i kinda think it was b.c of missing my pill that one day. but idk. well a couple weeks ago i went to work fine and dandy like any other day then around noon i felt like i was dying i had the feeling of vomiting i thought i had to poop but i pooed that morning so i dont what happend went home and puked like one session of puking but like three times. i felt fine after that i was like that was weird of course had that am i prego thought? but i didnt think so. well yesterday went to school felt fine felt hungry couldnt wait for lunch then it hit me.i had the feeling that i had to poo again b.c i felt really sick so i pooped at school then i felt a tiny bit better tried eating lunch but couldnt id rather have a drink so i got orange juice which i just love now... any way i felt a lil better ate something yay okay still felt like i needed to puke ignored it. well before going to class someone sprayed perfume and i wanted to puke right there and then i ran out of the hallway all i wanted to was sit down. around noon again (could be a coincidence) but i ran out of class and into the bathroom and puked again three times orange juice of course awful! i felt better yay okay w.e went back to class 10 min later i was running to the bathroom again puked again three or four times that time and to the point that i was just dry heaving i had nothing to eat i was just done. told my friend and my boyfriend i felt better after the second time i didnt think anything of it i felt fine when i woke up so just thought it was just what happend last time i just couldnt take the orange juice. went to my last class felt sick again just looked like crap but went through it well eventually i ran to the bathroom again to just dry heave i was crying because i just wanted to stop and i like layed on the bathroom ground. till my friend came in and asked if i was i mean theres always the posibility but i really dont think i could get pregnant its just not in my mind but i could be. i dont know if im not pregnant then why am i puking randomly then feeling fine like nothing happend. i really dont want to take a test and find out becuase making a deal about being pregnant maybe then not being prengnt will annoy me i just hate thinking i might be.
While there is no definite way to tell you that you aren't pregnant without taking a pregnancy test, I can tell you that it isn't likely. That brown stuff you were talking about is your uterine lining. When you get pregnant the fertilized egg attaches itself to the uterine lining. If your uterine lining is shedding there isn't much chance you are pregnant because there is nothing to attach to. Not to mention the fact that when you are on the pill you don't ovulate so there would be no egg to fertilize in the first place. I know you missed a pill, but since you got a period, even if it was lighter, and you have been on the pill for a while you probably don't ovulate to begin with.
Worrying about being pregnant tends to make you have pregnancy symptoms. You may just of had the flu or something. I can't tell you how many women think they might be pregnant, and they start making up symptoms in there head way before those symptoms should occur.
If you're still worried about being pregnant and you can't wait until your next period take the pregnancy test. I think it's probably going to be negative, but it will give you peace of mind even if you do feel a little dumb for worrying, and if by some weird chance you are pregnant you will be able to get prenatal care.
Don't worry most girls do this to themselves. I hope everything turns out how you want it, and try not to worry much, because it's really unlikely that you are pregnant.
Good luck