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Why is he discussing getting back together?
My ex boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago. We were together for just over a year. He broke up with me (Long story) I didn't want to break up with him but I couldn't control what he wanted, he wanted to stay friends but I said no. He has still tried contacting me quite often and tried kissing me one night in a bar. I asked what he was doing, and whether that meant he wanted to be with me again and he said he doesn't know what he wants really.
I made it perfectly clear I did not want to speak to him anymore...I don't want to be his friend as it's too hard to deal with and he started going mad at me for it. He told me he loves me but he is just unsure what he wants.
I said we won't be friends etc and he said well you never know, you could get a new boyfriend and then break up with him, and we could get back together. anything can happen you don't know what can happen in the future.
Why is he saying that if he doesn't want to be with me???
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He sounds confused and thats okay. This doesn't mean you have to deal with it...its his loss and I think he's realizing what he lost. You're single and you can go what you want get out there and have fun. Don't let him stop you from going back on the dating scene since he was the one who ended the relationship. Especially, now you have to consider your feelings and I know part of you wants to get back with him but what about how he let you down before and what if he does it again. Do what you want to do and don't give him the control of this relationship.
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'cause he's a turd.
Sorry, name-calling isn’t fair, but what he doing is also horrifically unfair to you. Fundamentally he is just confused and trying to figure himself out, the problem is that he is dragging his ex girlfriend (you) through his bullshit with him, when the whole point of being an EX is that you don’t have to step in it every time he does something dumb.
You on the other hand, are doing exactly what you should be doing - You are trying to establish a healthy distance and clarity about your own feelings and position. He is trying to muddy the waters, keep things confused so to keep all options open to himself by never really committing to any course of action, despite how painful or disrespectful that might be for you.
Stop talking him. You've told him clearly you don't want to be friends, so now let your actions speak and do NOT act like his friend. Don't talk to him, or at least, end any conversations that drift into 'feelings' and 'future plans’ areas. Those are conversations he'll need to find a friend to have with. You are not his friend, so you get to say "Sorry, I got to go now."
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This guy sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. He loves you, but he's not sure what he wants, he wants to kiss you with no commitment, and he wants you to think there is a possibility of you getting back together with him. In saying those things to you he tries to keep your hope alive that you might get back together with him. He wants to feel like he still matters in your life, but he doesn't actually want to make a commitment. If I were you I wouldn't get back together with him. He is being selfish and immature right now, and the only reason he is mad at you is because you aren't giving him an option to get back together with you if, and when he so chooses. Do you really want to be with a guy who has to break up with you and go date around before he knows you're the one he wants to be with? I would stop talking to him, and responding to any texts or phone calls and move on. It's only damaging to you to keep any hope alive of getting back together with him. You deserve to be with someone who knows what they have when they have you, not after he realizes he can't have you whenever he wants.
Good Luck
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