Member Since: February 15, 2004
Answers: 10
Last Update: February 26, 2004
Visitors: 1494
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hello i have written times and have received some good advice so i hope i get some again
here is the problem i wash everyday but i want to smell wonderful all the time i am an overweight person i use soap deodorant and some perfume but there are times i could smell better can anyone tell me some secrets to smelling good all the time this really bugs me especially in the warm weather i would like to smell shower fresh all the time i am working on the weight if anyone knows of any good products i would appreciate it thanks (link)
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If you are wearing an anti-persperant and still are having this problem, you should ask your doctor. There are perscription strength anti-persperants that are absolutely wonderful.
~AlexiaJayn
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Im so scared because I just had my period a few months ago and Im 12 yrs old. thats not what im worried about though. i fingred myself and I dont know how deep i went but it wasnt that deep i dont think, but then I went to the bathroom and i saw that i was bleeding from my vagina but i don know if its from my period or not...its almost around the time when i usually have it but im scared because did anything bad happen when i fingred myself? or is it just my period? (link)
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Okay, for starters, you obviously are developing and are exploring, so to speak. It's quite alright to have these urges and needs. You are better off taking care of them by yourself than to allow someone to take care of them for you. You are still young, you have a long time to go before you're ready for someone else to take care of your physical needs.
Chances are good that it is just your period. It is common that you get urges around the time you are ready to menstrate because of the hormonal levels in your body. Don't worry too much about the bleeding.
Take care of yourself. If you have any more questions, feel free to ask!
~AlexiaJayn
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Did you see where my sanity went? I need to catch it and sacrivice it to the Gods of Randomness. (link)
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I think it's hiding under your baseball cap.
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2years ago my mum went on hoilday and left me at home with her bf. one night ewarly in the morning i heard my bedroom door open when i leend over to see it was her bf in a shirt and undies. i screamed and he shouted sorry and slamed the door but i new it wasnt a dream coz you have to lift the door to shut it. I was so scared . now i lock my bedroom door and cart sleep i have to fall alsleep to the tv. last night he was at my door saying he didnt no who to go to bed with me or my mum how sick i cart tell my mum i no ur goin to say i much but i dont no what to do i have a bf but i cart talk to him hes older and lives in london he said i could go live with him but i dont have the cash i wanna get out of here i cart stay with my dad coz he died when i was young help (link)
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First and foremost, you need to talk to a trusted adult about this situation. Go to a friend's parent, or someone at your school, who might understand and help you to deal with this. Second, you and your mother seem to have some serious issues if you cannot discuss this with her. It's time to sit down and talk to her. Moving in with the boyfriend may make things worse. Tell your mom that you want to go to counselling, and that you'd like her to go with you. Maybe this can help you both work through the issues that you both have.
~AlexiaJayn
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Okay, I have a boyfriend who goes to my church (on wednesday nights) but i never see him because he never goes anymore and he doesn't go to my school. i want to dump him because i have this other boyfriend who i want to dump because he never sees me or calls me and i don't have his number and he doesn't go to my school. Okay, I want to dump both of them because I like this other boy who DOES go to my school and i know he likes me. If i ask him out though then ill have 3 boyfriends. i consider myself as if i don't have a boyfriend but i know i have to and soon will have 3. What to do? (link)
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For starters: you need to chill. It is wrong to have a boyfriend who you don't want to be with. Dump them all and take care of yourself right now.
Naming someone as a boyfriend warrants a level of commitment, aeven if it's a small level...and that is to be respected. How would you feel if you truly liked any of these guys and they were dating other girls. It's not honest, and it's definately not fair to them.
I say that it's time for you to step up to the plate. You have a lot of maturing to do.
Dump them both, and figure out what you want. You don't need a boyfriend to be great. You are great on your own, remember that.
~AlexiaJayn
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I made really bad choices for my A levels- I took English Lit, History, Welsh and Chemistry. The first two are fine, Chemistry is really difficult and I can't stand Welsh anymore because the teacher is so horrible.
She is always really negative about everything I do which makes it really hard to motivate myself enough to hand stuff in on time. She says that I have an attitude problem and I suppose than in some ways I do- but she isn't helping. I have to pretend to be cheerful in her lessons otherwise it would ruin the atmosphere for the other members of the class.
She sent a letter home to my parents, they got it this morning so I don't know what's in it. I had to go off to school wondering what was in it.
Today we were supposed to go and watch a welsh TV program being filmed - not important for the course but just a bit of fun. I couldn't face the thought of being with her for 11 hours- from 1:30 pm to 12;30 am ( yep on a school night). I decided not to go. I told her that I had rehearsals because I couldn't say that I wasn't going because I hate her. She told me that I'm selfish, rude, lazy and underacheiving.
I had to go and talk to my form tutor and year head, my tutor was sympathetic but my head of year basically said that shit happens, it's my fault that we don't get on and that I just have to deal with it.
Anyone got any ideas on how to resolve this? (link)
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For starters, I think that you are forgetting an important factor here: she is the teacher, you the student. Sometimes you're going to have teachers you love, others you'll have teachers like this. As unfortunate that it is that you will have teachers like this, you're going to have to learn to deal with it. Your best bet is to sit back in class, try not to say much or draw attention upon yourself. Make yourself more receptive to the work, to the teacher.
Skipping out on the filming was a bad idea. It shows that you are uninterested as a student and that you lack the ambition it takes to succeed. Perhaps that is how the teacher sees it and is frustrated because you obviously have potential to be a great student and she may feel that you are not putting your all into your work.
Best of luck with your Welsh class.
~AlexiaJayn
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My crush found out that I liked him. I told my friend to tell him and she did (that's how she found out). Well I walked up as she was telling him, so he walked off. I didn't notice, but I pretend tripped him and smiled at him, you know, just to be funny. But he didn't respond at all-just with really icy body language. When I smiled at him, and he just looked down and walked off as if nothing happened--he didn't even make eye contact like he usually would. I know he felt my leg try to trip him, too.
He's found out before, and he always acted this way (distant), except for once, when he was cool with it (normal). But I don't want him to repeat patterns! He's also got a girlfriend who he's on/off with, but I HOOKED THEM UP IN THE FIRST PLACE! (Doh.)
I was about to cry in class when my friend told me that he said, quote, "I'm scared now...". My other friend who asked said she didn't hear him say that, but she said he just grinned.
Well usually while we're on our way to lunch, he says a few words to me then parts ways. Sometimes he purposely does something. Yesterday he faked going the other way, and bumped me and walked like in front of me so we touched. "Oops...uh, I mean this way."
He always goes the same way.
Well...I was wondering...what has happened? Is he intimidated? Does he think all the fun is taken out of the game when I 'surrender' by telling him the truth? Is he just not interested? Is he thinking it over? Is he scared?
I don't know, that's why I'm asking you. Thanks so much! (link)
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You say it's a 4 year crush? Okay, here's my suggestion for you: It's time to move on. As difficult as that may be, it's good for all parties involved.
If he's interested, and you move on, you'll catch his eye. If he's not interested and you move on, then you win. You also write that he's known this before and nothing has happened. He is either not interested or afraid. Move on.
Oh, and a piece of advice for the future: as you grow up, you're going to learn that if you want a job done right you're best off to do it yourself. It's not fair to let your friends do it, and you will never know 100% what he said or how he reacted.
Good luck.
~AlexiaJayn
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A good girlfriend of mine from college killed herself on Saturday after a fight she had with her fiance. She was never the kind of girl I would have ever guess to do this sort of thing. So when she called me that night I wasn't in the mood to go party (my boyfriend and I had had a huge fight)I ignored her call and turned off my phone. She called me four times, that night. Monday morning she was found dead. The police called me Monday afternoon, it is thier policy to investigate each death to be sure it is a suicide. They said that my number was the last one on her phone as a listed call.
I am devistated. I cannot face anyone. I resent my boyfriend because of his picking a stupid fight. I feel as though I really screwed up. I was not their for her and she reached out to me.
But my question is why me? Her and I were good friends in college but we had lost touch since she had been engaged we talked maybe every couple of weeks and only briefly. We're always saying that we needed to make plans but it never happened. She was always close to her mom and I am sure she had better friends than me, I know her best firend lived far away. But Mellisa was the kind of girl who always had tons of friends. Why out of all the people she could have called would she call me? I am always going to carry around this responsible feeling and it really is bringing me down. I just feel so powerless.
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Dear Powerless,
First off, let me say that I am sorry to hear about your loss. You have my deepest sympathy.
I understand that you feel guilty, but you are not feeling guilt over the fact that she killed herself. You are feeling guilty that you have not been in touch with her as you should have been. Chances are fairly good that you have been asking yourself why you didn't call her more often, why you didn't follow through on plans with her. The simple answer to these questions: Life gets in the way sometimes. Friends grow apart, and no matter how much you love them and care for them, sometimes it's hard to stay in contact and close.
I'm sure that she would understand why you didn't answer, and try not to carry it on your shoulders. I suggest that maybe you get some counseling about this. Talk to your general practioner, and they can suggest someone. It wouldn't hurt for you to have someone to talk to about this that would be objective.
As far as feeling resentment to your boyfriend, please try not to do that. Neither of you saw this coming, and I'm sure if his crystal ball said that a friend was going to desperately need you that night, he wouldn't have started a fight with you.
Try not to carry this too heavilly on your shoulders. Don't resent your boyfriend, and definately look into talking to someone.
I hope that you find the peace you seek.
~AlexiaJayn
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Dear Spacefem,
I've spent some time trying to believe in Christianity, long enough to know that there's a popular and Biblically-based doctrine against being "unevenly hitched". So, when I meet fun, attractive Christians of a certain level of commitment, they may as well be lesbians or cousins or something... I can let myself love them to bits as friends, but for the most part I keep any thought of the romantic stuff out of the way. This has worked to keep things from getting messy for me and the occasional cute, committed Christian that wanders by. Essentially I've kept that doctrine by acknowledging it, even as I left a bunch of stuff I couldn't deal with behind.
I'm a 23-year old student, just to situate all this, and she's a bit older (25 or so) but also studying at the same university. We've grabbed food together, run around town with friends, done stuff in groups, kept each other honest while studying, all the rest, and she's sweet, articulate, cultured, cute, open-minded and considerate... and a committed Christian to boot. Fine, I think to myself... she's fun to be around and my (open) agnosticism doesn't seem to bother her (although we do debate the Big Issues in conversational tones), she definitely makes me feel good to share a species with her. So we hang out from time to time, chat, all that. Er, man, was I dense.
So now I have this three page e-mail printed out and read a few times, and it turns out my density has kept me from picking up on the fact that she's been thinking of me as relationship material since, well, something like July.
Fine, you might say, can't lump all Christians together, and *Rebecca doesn't seem to be in the yoke-sensitive camp. Well, you can get a lot of details into 23k of e-mail and she is in the yoke-sensitive camp and it's been eating away at her. Her Christian buddies are understandibly leery of the whole idea, and for me it kinda reorganizes everything... but she's thinking differently. I'd gotten pretty good at applying my yoking filter but she's sort of making it irrelevant... but I'd feel a little weird helping her dismantle a practice she still obviously respects to some extent. At the same time, she really is wonderful and this whole yoking thing sometimes feels like a medieval tradition whose time has come. Yarg, new and exciting dilemma... of the sort that's more fun to contemplate when it's hypothetical.
I can't honestly convert as it stands, and I won't dishonestly convert. She's not asking me to, which is to her credit.
So, I can freak out and run in circles, I can say she's wonderful but this is crazy, I can say I had no idea and ... yes!, or I can hop on the next plane to the French Foreign Legion recruiting centre and pretend this all never happened. Or I can do something more subtle I haven't thought of... you get the idea.
Advice, relevant questions or a good slap upside the head... I await your reply.
Yours spazzing out,
Dense Heathen (link)
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Dear Dense Heathen,
For starters, I understand where you are coming from. It is very difficult to become involved with someone with different beliefs. It may seem uncomplicated now, but if things become serious, then it definately could complicate things.
The first thing you have to ask yourself is if it is worth it. Would you feel better persuing it, making some waves, and seeing where it goes, or are you the type who is content to sit back and wonder what might have been? If you don't like do wonder, then you're best bet is to go after it. See where it may go, see what you can do. Don't convert if that's what you don't want to do. Never change your belief system for someone else, but be sure to respect hers...which from your letter, it appears that you do. You seem to have a clear grasp on things. If you want to know where it'll go, take the plunge. The chance may never come by again.
If you're okay with what might have been, just explain to her that you care deeply for her, but you just can't make it work. Be gentle if that is what you decide to do. She's been pining over you for quite a while, and she might not take it well that you're afraid to try.
Follow your heart. It's the best guide you have.
~AlexiaJayn
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My friend is really annoying. She's always complaining about everything. Her grandma spoils her rotten, so I know her life is not that bad. I want to tell her o shut up, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. What should I do? (link)
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I suggest talking to your friend in a nice way. When she starts complaining, start off light. Tell her that it's not as bad as she thinks, that she's got it good compared to some people. Understand that there may be a deeper problem she can't admit to, and she might be complaining about the superficial things because she can't deal with the larger problem.
Also, some people are just like that. I suggest you just talking to her about it. Tell her that she is complaining too much, and though you care about her as a friend, she is really bringing you down, and you feel she's taking advantage of your friendship. It might not hurt to tell her you need some breathing room. Hang out with your other friends some more, and she might come around.
~AlexiaJayn
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