I have spent a great deal of my life learning about my shortcomings and how to deal with them/change them and incorporate these changes into my life. I tend to be helpful to people in various life situations through my own life experiences, which I feel is the only way a person can truly relate. I have been in Recovery from Drug Addiction for over 7 yrs. and currently have 5 yrs. "clean" (and sober).
I have been involved in the Mental Health System for over 15 yrs. and am currently on Medication for Chronic Depression as well as an Anxiety Disorder. I am openminded and honest.
If I feel I can help you, I will do my best. If I feel I can't, I will let you know.
Incidently...
I go by the name of Butterfly because I believe that I myself have undergone many changes...a metamorphose...from an old life (the Caterpillar) to a new life (the butterfly)...from being closed in/up to being free...
"What the caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the world calls a butterfly"...Lao Tsu
In Faith,
Butterfly
Gender: Female
Location: Toronto, Canada
Occupation: Life
Age: 38
Member Since: February 16, 2004
Answers: 3
Last Update: February 17, 2004
Visitors: 1491
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OK, this is really hard to explain but when I was in 2nd grade, (6 years ago) My dad got into a car accident that wasn't his fault. Because of that, his back has never been the same, he wasn't able to do as much fun stuff with me and my siblings. When I was in 5th grade, (4 years ago) Dad's lawyer tryed to sue the guy in the truck that slammed into him. The guy in the trucks lawyers did some things that I don't like. They followed us around to try to find out if Dad was really hurt or not and they sent guys to watch our house with video cameras. Since I live out really deep in the woods, I would get dressed in my bedroom with the windows not shaded. It turns out they were watching me the whole time. It's been 3 years and I keep thinking that they messed up my life. And I feel guilty that my dad had to go through that. It was the first time I saw him cry. What should I do?
-Violated (link)
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It sounds to me that you feel more guilty than violated. I don't know where you live, nor am I a lawyer who can tell you to sue the camera guys, but I think you are taking on your fathers accident and the fact that someone did something that messed up your life. I think you are angry and feel that life is not fair, and it isn't. One of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten is that we have to learn that life isn't fair, and sometimes things happen that really suck! I am sorry for you and sorry for your Dad, but it could be worse...(probably not what you want to hear right now). When we can accept that things happen in life that aren't fair, but just go with the flow of it and be grateful for what we do have (you do still have your Dad, wish is a MAJOR gift!)...A little story I heard once that put it all in perspective for me...
"There was a boy who had an old pair of shoes and whined and whined because he wanted a new pair...until the day he met the boy with no feet".
Made me think.
Maybe tell your Dad how you are feeling about all this. At least let it go. We can't change the past and if we live in it, we are only ruining what happiness we can share today.
God luck and God Bless you.
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2years ago my mum went on hoilday and left me at home with her bf. one night ewarly in the morning i heard my bedroom door open when i leend over to see it was her bf in a shirt and undies. i screamed and he shouted sorry and slamed the door but i new it wasnt a dream coz you have to lift the door to shut it. I was so scared . now i lock my bedroom door and cart sleep i have to fall alsleep to the tv. last night he was at my door saying he didnt no who to go to bed with me or my mum how sick i cart tell my mum i no ur goin to say i much but i dont no what to do i have a bf but i cart talk to him hes older and lives in london he said i could go live with him but i dont have the cash i wanna get out of here i cart stay with my dad coz he died when i was young help (link)
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Sweetie, you are in a bad situation. You know you are. Are you close with anyone at school, like maybe a teacher or something? I know it's not an easy thing to do...telling someone, but if you don't, it could lead to further actions from your "him" and we both don't want that. If you look at your options, it seems to me that the only proper thing to do is to tell someone who might be able to at least be there for you if/when he does try to get to you. What about an Aunt or Uncle? Even a friends' parents or older sister? Please get help sweetie, or it looks to me as though there would be nothing to stop him from going further.
Be strong, and you can do anything!
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My friend is really annoying. She's always complaining about everything. Her grandma spoils her rotten, so I know her life is not that bad. I want to tell her o shut up, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. What should I do? (link)
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First and foremost, I'd have to ask myself if this person is really a "Friend". I know friends can have their moments, and if she is a true friend perhaps letting her know in a respectful way that she is annoying you would be a good idea. If she isn't a "true" friend, I'd sorta keep my distance and possibly let her know that you find her somewhat annoying (respectfully) and that you don't need a friend like that. We do have a right to choose who are friends are...and we are who we associate with.
Secondly, I'd ask myself why it is I find her annoying...you mentioned her grandma spoils her...perhaps, in all honesty, you are feeling a little envious or jealous? If you are, that's ok. Everyone gets those feelings. Maybe letting her know this could not only stop her from annoying you, but might help you understand your own feelings and why you feel them a little better.
Hope it helps...
Remember...when we point a finger at another person, there are still 3 fingers pointing back at us...perhaps understanding ourselves better can help us deal with the annoying things in others. :)
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