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As you can see from my ratings I give GREAT advice not meaning to sound cocky lol :) but I specialize in ANY relationship related problems, so send me a question. I reject questions that do not ask for advice but more for sympathy, so try and keep your questions strictly professional. You'd be lucky to run across me answering one of your questions. I would really appreciate it that at the end of every answer I give that you give me feedback so I can know if I helped you or not.




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advice

18f.

So I lost my virginity about 2 weeks ago. I'm on birth control and he used a condom. But still, the whole time we were having sex I couldn't stop thinking: is the condom still on? did it break?

Just things like that kept running through my mind which sort of killed the moment. Don't get me wrong, it was great but I still couldn't stop thinking about the possibility of something going wrong. Is it always like this? Or do you think it was just because it was my first time having sex?

It was just your first time paranoia of becoming pregnant. Something that you obviously arent ready for is motherhood thats why you were nervous. I believe you should be fine, condoms do break but rarely. If your paranoia is that bad of pregnancy, maybe you should consider not having sex anymore until your ready to take on the risks better of possibly becoming pregnant.

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18, Female.

This is SO weird, but I'm not complaining :) Just curious.

I've only been fingered twice, nothing else has been in my vagina. Well I get wet really easily, and it's a lot. The first time I had sex, I was SO scared it was going to hurt and it didn't hurt ONE BIT, NOTHING. I was shocked, is this normal? I'm scared if I do it again or something it's going to hurt, but I don't know if it will since it didn't the first time??

And, the guy I had sex with didn't believe I was a virgin. Long story, no I don't regret having sex with him we're friends. But what I'm asking is ..is this a good or bad thing? He knew I was before, told him to be careful with me and he said he would but I know he still didn't believe me. After we had sex and were laying in bed, I said you took my virginity you know that? I was a virgin. He smiled and looked at me and said "No you weren't ;)"

I don't know if I was loose or something, or if I was just good at it? Haha I was wondering, why he still didn't think I was a virgin before I had sex with him. What do you guys think?

He most likely believed you were a virgin when you told him before you two had sexual intercourse but afterwards given the situation that you just described no longer did. My answer to this is that its just normal. I was reading an article about how sex feels different to everyone. The feel of sex can change based on anything. Mood, hunger, thirst, e.t.c. Of course you hear all the time virgins who have sex experience pain, but as normal as it gets, due to certain things in your daily life, the painless feeling you got is just as normal as a virgin experiencing pain her first time. Its different for everyone. Yeah maybe you are just good at it lol.

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18,female.
i've always had a good relationship with my parents, they do trust me and we're probably closer than most parents and teenagers are. i can talk to my mom about alot of stuff but there is one thing i can't talk to either one of them about and that is sex, and being sexual. they know i'm on birth control, my mom went with me to get it but i went on it to control my periods and they also know i'm a virgin (i hope they still believe me) well anyways a couple weeks ago my dad caught me doing something he probably didn't want to see, and that was me in my bra with my best guy friend. they both love this kid, but they thought we were just best friends. well i tried to cover it up, but my dad knew exactly what was going on. now we were not having sex or really doing anything sexual we were just messing around with each other and cuddling but i've never had a boyfriend before so they think i have no interaction with boys, at least in a physical state. well he talked to me about it that night and was like i don't care if you mess around with him, just be smart about it and i was like i know dad i'm not stupid!! well i would hope this awkward situation would be put in the past but today i was driving with my mom and we were sort of fighting and then she brought up how i should go see the doctor, well i want to, to ask them about my birth control and make sure everything is okay and she was like maybe you should get a papsmear and i was like NO! i don't want to, doesn't it hurt? and we were talking about it and she was like you can start getting them when your 18 but usually if your sexually active, and then she said "but i know dad said you and nick (my best friend) were "fooling around"" and i was like yeah mom we are having sex, being sarcastic and she was like well maybe he gave you cooties then i was like whatever. AWKWARD!!! it's just annoying that they assume i'm doing this sort of thing. i think it's cool that they don't really care if i do things like this or not just as long as i'm smart and safe but i hate talking about it because it's not what it seems. me and this guy haven't like done anything but i don't think my dad beleives me no matter what i say because yeah what would you think if you saw your daughter with a boy in her bra when you came home? i just don't know what to do!! it's not that i want to stay a virgin until i'm married, i'm just waiting for that right guy and they always bring up how i don't have a boyfriend, which also gets on my last nerve. they put me down when they talk about it, like i'm not good enough for any boy because they say "i'm too needy, and all i care about is myself and no wonder why i don't have a boyfriend" which makes me feel so good about myself..yeah...

well any suggestions would be well appreciated thank you so much.

Parents are always going to make you feel like that, they're your parents, there's nothing to give you advice on except try to feel more comfortable about talking to your parents about sex....

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helllo :) well im 18 yrs old, female and i am a virgin. well when i finger myself i do it in the bath and it always feel like i have to pee! sometimes a little will come out(embarassing) but if i were to have sex would the same feeling happen? i hear your suppose to go to the bathroom BEFORE but what if you cant and don't have to? well thank you !

Well, try at least before you have sex, and if you can't... Well than while your having sex, most likely you'll be able to control it... Another factor is just plain and simple that your doing it in the bath, and with being in so much water your going to have the urge to go, most likely if your in a dry area like a bed, having sex, you won't have that urge.

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sorry this is so long but i really need advice, i know i'm not suppose to say this but really i will give 5 to anyone who answers because i'm so lost..

i made a huge mistake, i wish i never was put in this situation but i realize i have to deal with it now. my best friend for three and a half years has a girlfriend of two years. a couple weekends ago we were talking about sex and somehow we got to talking about us. i admit, i am horny i am a virgin im 18 years old. so when was like "hell yeah i wanna have sex with you" i really did mean it. i know that it's wrong to do though. he is the one i want to be intimate with, i've always liked him. different guys have wanted to do things with me but i can't do it with them, i always find myself thinking, "i want to do it with my best friend.." but i don't want to feel like i'm being used, and i don't want to lose it to someone who has a giflriend. well we were talking about this two weekends ago and i was like sorry cant this weekend i have my period so i was like in two weeks we can and then last night he texted me and was like.."we still doing it this weekend?" i was like haha yeah! so now he still thinks were doing it but i definately have been having doubts. there are so many reasons why i shouldn't but i REALLY want to with him. it's been weird this week i have been having dreams about us, and getting sexual. i've been thinking about it so much. the thing is if i don't do it with him i feel like he would think i was a tease. i know he is going to text me and be like, "ready?!" and i don't know if i should tell him in a text or have him come over and then explain to him. if he comes over though he will be excited because he will think he is getting "some" and then i would say like, "you know i really want to do it with you but the fact that you have a girlfriend, just makes me know that its wrong." and then after he wouldn't know what to say and things would be awkward but i still really want to hang out with him. i am so torn, i don't know what to do. i am the WORST at talking about things like this, i've never had an actual boyfriend which makes it worse. i can't resist this kid, everytime i'm around him i WANT HIM. but he seems to "want his cake, and eat it too" which makes me sad but i feel like degrading myself and just doing it because to me, it's something i feel comfortable doing with him and only him. i'm not the girl who is like oh i have to do it just to do it. well i would really appreciate if someone could help. thank you so much

It definitely sounds like your best friend is just trying to "pimp" you, so you can just be another girl to him that he had sex with. Just another girl that he can tell about to his friends. IT also does sound like your being used, it shouldn't have even gotten this far. But, I will give you the best advice that I can. Do NOT confront him, face to face on the day that you two are supposed to have sex, you can on any other day, but on that day that your supposed to have sex, text him and tell him NO... If he comes over to talk to you, that will only make you just as much hornier than you already are and you will eventually "give in". So you can either text him, or confront him anywhere "outside" of a bedroom. Now, it is wrong that you are thinking of doing this while he has a girlfriend right now, other than that it wouldn't really stick as a problem to me. If you are going to do this, than make sure he feels the same way about you first. You say you next to love this guy, well does he feel the same? I know that the temptation going through your mind right now, is saying oh I want to do this SO BAD.. Because I've myself been there, but he HAVE to resist, if you want to keep some sort of composure. Resist, until you meet that ONE GUY who you know will love you no matter what, and let him be your first. If you do meet a guy like this one day, and your no longer a virgin, your going to think back to who was your first... And than you'll feel disgusted, so think about this.

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hi! 18 f
so i was planning on having sex this weekend with this guy. i'm a virgin. don't preach me on making sure it's the right guy blah blah. i just would appreciate if you could answer my question! so we didn't know where we were going to do it. both our parents are usually home and so he was like hopefully one of them goes out. well today my mom was talking about going to visit my grandma in the nursing home. i'm guessing my dad would go too? i'm not sure what time they're planning on going but the thing i worry about is that they are going to go around 5, and we weren't planning on hanging out until around 7 or 8 because i will be with my best friend at her house for a while. my parents usually stay an hour and a half max when they visit her. my brother is 22 years old and is moved out but usually comes over after work to come see my dog and stuff so i would also be scared he would come too. i personally didn't want to do it at my house, in my bed because what if i bled, and i would feel weird sleeping in my sheets afterwards but it's better than doing it in a car or something. i don't know how to wash my sheets haha sadly my mom still does my laundry and everything! if my parents did go around 7 though, and stayed an hour and a half would that be enough time for us? i wouldn't want to rush it, i'll probably be a baby and make him go SLOW because it's going to hurt but i would also always be worried my parents are going to be coming home any minute, you know? i dont know what do you think. people have said rent a hotel, well i don't have the money and either does he. also where would we put the condom afterwards i would be too paranoid putting it in ANY trash in my house, my mom takes out the trash. so where do people usually put it? well sorry so many questions but thank you!

OK, it wouldn't be a brilliant thing to have sex while they are gone by about 7, because if their only staying about an hour and a half MAX, than it is true that they could come in any moment. The way your making it sound is like you want your "first time" to be a quickie. Which doesn't sound like a reasonable first time to me. You should definitely wait for more opportunities either at his house or yours to do this. This plan that you have is too risky. I doubt that your brother would come 7-8:30 though unless he has a key to the house. As far as where to put the condom goes, you can flush it down the toilet which is the simplest thing to do, or you can just make sure that it is all the way at the bottom of the trash so your mom doesn't see.

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i'm a virgin. i am 17 years old. the past two weeks i've been trying to loosen myself up for when im ready to have sex. in the bath i can do two fingers, easily three fingers well it's actually not THAT bad. so when i do end up having sex, i know it will still hurt but by being able to put two, sometimes three fingers does that necessarily mean it's not going to hurt as bad?

No, just because you can masturbate with 2 fingers and even three doesn't mean it's not going to hurt. Yeah, you may loosen yourself up "a little bit" but there is a huge difference between a guy's penis and your fingers

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so im really good friends with my sister's ( who is a freshman in college ) friend. he's a freshman in college and im a soph in high school. We txt and talk all the time, and he asked me out. Is it to much of an age difference?

I believe that if you were a Junior probably not, but a Sophomore is kind of STEEP if you know what I mean? By the way, sorry I'm answering so late, my account was suspended... Anyways, I believe that if you like him that much, that (what the heck?) you might as well give it a try

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18/f, VIRGIN.
well me and my boyfriend have been going out for a while, i love him to death and i'm definately ready to have sex. anyways the problem is we can't do it at either of our houses, our parents are ALWAYS home and neither of us have a lock on our doors, plus it would just be weird knowing parents are in the house. so my boyfriend was like if either of them don't leave somewhere we can do it in my car. i just laughed and was like oh god and he was like it will be hot :) i'm not sure how i feel about this, i don't think it should matter where but it's my first time you know. and where i live, the high temp is around 30 degrees at night which is cold. what im asking is what sex is like in a car. he has a ford explorer, so it's not like that little and i'm also worried about it being cold! well thanks, any stories or experiences would help!

Okay, a Ford Explorer is a nice BIG truck, there shouldn't be a problem on how much space you would have. As far as temperature goes, than simply ask him to turn up the heat, and once you get into the "mood" and get that feeling... Trust me, temperature will no longer matter in the situation. Since it is your first time, it does matter where you do it. BUT, seeing as how you feel you love him so much that you need to get that URGE out by having "sex". Than it wouldn't matter as far as my book goes, as long as it's releasing that urge you have for one another.

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I am 13/boy. i dated ths girl for two years an idk i actually loved her i think. we would hang out all the time,and just hav a blast. after her tho i just started dating random girls. i meen i know them but i use to date girls for there personality,now i date them for there asses.idk what to do( the girl i love is datig my best friend )

if the girl that you love is dating your best friend than maybe your bst friend isn't really a best friend at all... unless you were an idiot and approved of them dating. but im sorry to say that it may be too late my friend. You should've been told her how you felt about her before they started going out. If you say something now, than you might not only jeapordize your relationship with your BFF but also with the relationship that they have going. And than she might not ever like you again and neither will your BFF... Maybe you should wait until they split up, and than hit me back.

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f/15;whe i masterbate like try 'fingering
my self it doenst feel good at all it's like weird, but when i do it to my clit it feels good.
is there any way I can finger my self and it feel good too?

If your a virgin than most likely masturbating isn't going to feel too comfortable. But if your not a virgin and it feels uncomfortable, maybe you should try a lubricant

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(f/17-18)

Well lately, me and my bf haven't been having sex for a week now because i will be going to the doctor soon to get the pill, anyway lately i've had alot of gas, and i dont know why i haven't drank pop in about 1 -2 weeks could it be that still passing throught my system?

No I doubt it very much. Its just natural, probably something you ate that may have been high in fiber. Veggies, fruits. Anything.. Dont worry.

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so me and my boyfriend just started having (protected) sex. i was a virgin before, and we've done it like 3 times but the first time it didn't go all the way in, the second time it did go all the way in and it hurt but it was bearable. but the third time it hurt so bad i bled. will it get better? and is there any way to make it more comfortable for the time being?

thanks a ton =]

Seeing as how your just starting to "loosen" up "down there". Well, the more you do it, the less it should hurt. The more times you and your boyfriend tries, the more it will feel more comfortable trust me. I'm not 100% sure if this will work but maybe you should try a lubricant until it feels more bearable for you.

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what can i say to my boyfriend while texting him. something cute, yet a bit naughty. i don't just want to be like... "i want you" that sounds kind of weird to me? i dont know is there anything i could say that would kind of turn him on.

thanks 17/f by the way.

Actually "I want you" is not a bad thing to say at all, it's straight to the point and actually will turn him on a LOT. Believe me, this is guy giving you advice right now. I know if my girl texted me and told me that, that I would be pretty "turned on"... As far as texting him goes. Maybe you should strike up a conversation that is completely "dirty" and "sexual". You know phone sex. I can't tell you what to say because these are words that should come from you/// and only you... but keep it "dirty" and honest you know?

E-mail me at for more help at: josephballard10@inbox.com

Please leave me feedback on my answer ThankYou :)

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ok so my boyfriend and i have been going out for almost 3 months, and i was kind of wondering when things are supposed to go to you know, like the next level in a relationship? I mean, he knows that i am a virgin and don't have that much experience with guys, but how would i show him that i am ready you know? and how long do people usually wait once you're in a relationship?

Well, there is no normal time when people have sex in their relationships because everyone's realtionship is not the same nor timed on when they should have sex. It just happens when you KNOW the love is their and that you feel for that person strongly enough to do it. When you feel your ready, just do it, and NO ONE can tell you how to get prepared to do it, especially because your only a virgin. You should just go on with your relationship normally and when it happens it "happens" and you'll know where to take it from there. BELIEVE ME

E-mail me at for more help at: josephballard10@inbox.com

Please leave me feedback on my answer ThankYou :)

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I haven't had sex. But, I heard somewhere that one can get pregnant if having oral or fingering and the precum accidentally goes into the vagina.. (although i know it seems very unlikely..) but if the precum were on his hands and then he fingered you.. (maybe because he forgot to wash his hands before hand.. or you two were just in the moment) could that result in a pregnancy?

N/A

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i'm a virgin, 18 years old, female

i've only made out with three guys before, kissed two. i don't really care what people think about me. i mean yes, its embarassing when people find out but i'm not ashamed of it. anyways lately i've been fingering myself, like in the bath tub or shower and i've been doing it for about a week and a half and i feel no pleasure from it. i do one finger, and when i put it inside my vagina all i feel is like a squishy feeling. i can do two, but that does nothing either. three, i feel like i'm forcing it and well its uncomfortable obviously because my vagina is still tight. if a boy were to do this to me, would i still feel the same or would i get a different feeling? i've heard you have to stimulate your clit, but i'm just wondering! i'm trying to loosen myself up for WHEN I'M READY to become sexual with someone. also when a boy does it, is it going to hurt? or will it feel the same as when i do it. i know it depends on how many fingers but what do you guys think is the right amount? thanks!

2 fingers is enough if your a virin "believe me". Now to answer your question, yes, it will feel greater when a guy does it to you instead of yourself because when a guy does it, (one that your attracted to) your vagina releases horomones, and therefore you feel better. But, seeing as how your a virgin and it's still "tight". If a guy does it, yes, it will feel better, but also, yes, it will hurt and feel uncomfortable. Losing your virginity does hurt "a lot" because your still "tight" but, after you do it once, and as it loosens sex feels a lot easier and way more arousing & feels much better because your vagina is now used to it and is loose. It will hurt, your first time, but it's worth it in case you want to do it a second time with a guy.

Please leave me feedback on my answer ThankYou :)

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i had some shots last night at a party with a bunch of guys and i ended up making out with 3 of them and giving one guy a hj, and i THINK thats it. people there said i kept moaning and they all think i had sex..which i doubt..i remember feeling his dick there but im almost totally extremely positive i had my pants on. i think he was just sticking it there and i felt it thru my jeans..i was sitting on top of him.

is it possible just his touching mine with my pants on could make me moan? how do i figure out what i did with this guy? he kept telling me to give him head and he whipped it out and i grabbed it and i put my head up to it and then decided not to do that so im almost very positive i didnt. and dont tell me to ask him, cuz he got pissed hes a man whore, and i dont have his number.

but we were both drunk, just to be clear. thanks!

You probably just made him have an erection and a quick ejaculation. But, honestly, you say you had your pants on right, well than he couldn't really have done anything to you. You probably were just moaning because of the situation. I mean you were probably horny as hell too right? So you were bound to start moaning. I believe that you guys didn't do it, because you gave him no consent to do anything with you. There really is only one way to tell if you guys did it or not.
1) When you woke up, did you feel aches of pain, or some sort of weird feeling down in your vaginal area, if so you guys may have done it.
2) You said that when you were on top of him that you could feel it through your jeans? That may be another thing that makes me believe that he may have "done it" to you.
3) Your friends say that they heard you moaning. How are you absolutely sure that they didn't just hear "him" moaning.I mean "you" weren't doing anything sexual, it was mainly him...Which makes me believe that he was the one moaning, not you, because you probably just gave him an erection or what-not

Please leave me feedback on my answer ThankYou :)

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When you get fingered does the guy put his finger in the same hole aswhen you have sex?
This is really confusing me. :(

Yes he does. The same hole the guy fingers is the same one you use during sexual intercourse.

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Last night I was hanging out with my boyfriend and I started giving him a hand job. I had never done it before with him... or with anyone. So i was doing it for about like 10 minutes and nothing was happening and he just like got up and put his pants back on. Is this the way its supposed to be or did i just do something wrong? Can i improve doing something next time? (we didnt use lotion or anything like that which i was told was good to use when doing that) Please give me some advice. thanks.

Seeing as how you gave him a hand-job with no sort of soother like lotion or oil, it probably hurt him a little and felt kind of uncomfortable. You need to get him to ejaculate, in order for it to be good. With nothing happening, yeah, it was kind of bad, but there is a solution. The next time you do it with him, the hand-job, you should talk dirty to him. Something like, "You like that", "That feel good", And ask him questions of what he likes during a hand-job like, "Do you want me to go faster, slower?" and talk to him about something you know that can make him fantasize during the hand-job, and use some of your body during the hand-job to get him very excited.

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