I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
Answers: 795
Last Update: September 2, 2007
Visitors: 49976
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Xenolan
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what are the chances of me gettings pregnant if i had sex with a condom that had alot of room at the top, and it ended up having a rip in it. My boyfriend was going off while coming out, and i took the plan b morning after pill 30 min after it happened. If the last time i took the pill was the 31 could i still be having problems from it? even if it was the first time i took it? thanks
ps im not on birthcontrol. (link)
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Hey. Sounds like you did everything right. Most people experience "condom failure" at some point in their lives. You took Plan B right away.
I would say that your chances of geting pregnant are very low, but I don't know the exact statistical number. The web site, http://www.go2planb.com/ForConsumers/Index.aspx
says that it reduces your chance of getting pregnant by _up to_ 89%. So if your chances of getting pregnant were, say, 10%, those chances would be changed to, at the very least risk, 1.1%. That's just an example.
The good news is that you took it right away. Man, if my daughter were sexually active I would definitely want her to be like you - prepared and ready to take control and make darned sure nothing happens! I admire you.
I don't know what you mean by "could I still be having problems from it?"
Best wishes for you (and I don't think the chances are enough for you to worry about).
Sabine
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Ok so I went to the doctor took some blood test and said in to weeks he'll give me some type of medicine to help me get pregnant.The medicine is called Metformin or something like that.Does anyone know about how long it will take for me to get pregnant.I'm so impatient since I've been trying for ever.PLEASE HELP ME. (link)
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Well, I'm not a doctor, but I'm not a teenager, either. Metformin is used to treat Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, which is abbreviated PCOS. Your doctor is treating your PCOS because he or she believes that is the cause of your infertility. The reason people with PCOS don't get pregnant is because their ovaries are full of cysts and therefore don't function. My sister had this and the only way she got pregnant was, oddly enough, on birth control pills. I also saw quite a bit of it through my previous work in the medical field.
No one can really say how long it will take you to get pregnant on metformin. It depends on how quickly your ovaries recover and start to function. Sorry to be vague, but there just aren't good answers. It's normal, also, for people who are perfectly healthy to take 6 mo to 1 year to conceive. So I'd say you should probably give it that much time. Some women I've known with PCOS have also used Clomid to stimulate ovulation. You can ask your doctor about that, but s/he may not want you to go on that as it can cause multiples (twins, triplets, or higher).
If I could do something more, I would, but you have my best wishes.
Sabine
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can you know your pregnant after having sex after like a week??? and is there any chance of getting pregnant if your boyfriend just sticks his penis in for like 30 seconds but doesnt come inside and it doesnt go in that much just a little at the tip. how high are the chances?
please let me know (link)
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It's very hard to be sure of a pregnancy a week after you have had sex. The first sign is usually a missed period, approximately 2 weeks after conception. That's usually followed by breast tenderness, fatigue, and sometimes overwhelming nausea. Usually you get those things around 4-6 weeks of gestation. You get mood swings. Internally, your cervix turns blue and your uterus tips so the cervix is pointing near your tailbone. The stomach starts to show usually around 3-4 months for a first-time pregnancy, but can be earlier or later depending on your body type. You can have skin breakouts as well.
Yes, it's possible for you to get pregnant from a penis just barely inside you for 30 seconds because the pre-cum on the head of his penis can contain sperm. The chances are fairly low, like probably less than 10%, but if you don't want to get pregnant, ANY chance is too high.
You can take a urine test, but they're not usually accurate until 10-14 days after conception. Remember, after the egg is fertilized, it also has about 48 hours in which it can implant on your uterine wall. So it may take a little longer to show up on a urine pregnancy test. The test measures a hormone produced by your body when you're pregnant and there has to be enough in your urine to detect it. Do the pee test on your first morning urine, since it's more concentrated. It will have the highest level of hormone if it's there.
Good luck.
Sabine
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Ive just started microgynon 30, i took the first pill on the first day of my period, but after 10 hours i was only sick a little bit once, and on the 2nd day after taking my 2nd pill after about 10 hours again i had diarrhea once. I continued taking my pill.
now i have been on it for 10 days am i fully protected? i am unsure because i have just started and it says to start on the first day of your period but i was ill, so do i have to wait until next month for it to work properly?
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Usually you're protected after 10 days, but to be completely sure, call the prescribing doctor and ask him/her. They usually want you to start on the first day of your period so they know there's no way you are pregnant when you start and you have a little time for the drug to build up in your system to a therapeutic level before you ovulate, approximately 14 days after the first day of your period.
Sabine
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I'm really upset right now, because I examined my vagina in the mirror (to see if my hymen broke yet) and I noticed how red it was down there between the outter vagina lips. It's almost like a purplish red and there's a weird ricotta like discharge in those outter lips. My vagina has always been red and I've always had that type of discharge but is it normal? Because I know I've always had that, but I just got really emotional because I don't think thats normal. Also This may sound stupid but how do you know which whole to insert a tampon in? I know its the whole with the inner lips, but I saw a really tiny whole towards the back of the inner lips and then I saw another whole with normal discharge, blocked by a wall. I'm just really confused right now and really upset, but back to my first question is that normal? (link)
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That discharge that looks like ricotta cheese is just normal lubrication that your mucus membranes in and around your vagina produce. It's normal. In the male, it's called smegma. You don't want it to build up, however, because it can cause irritation. That's why you should shower every day or at least use a warm wet washcloth without soap to remove the built up discharge. That discharge can encourage bacterial growth and cause irritation, infection, and bleeding.
You have three holes in your genitals. At the top of the outer labia is your clitoris. That's not a hole, but a collection of nerve endings. It has a hood which is analogous to the male's foreskin. When you wash, pull back that hood and clear away any white accumulation. Right behind the clitoris is your urinary meatus, which is the opening to the tube that leads to your bladder. You can't get a tampon in there. The next item back is your vagina. The 'wall' you are talking about may be your hymen (cherry), which is a thin membrane which covers the vaginal opening. After that is a bit of skin called the perineum. The next thing back is the anus.
If you look up 'female genital anatomy' online, you will get many wonderful diagrams to help remove any doubt about your anatomy. Hopefully, removing the doubt will help you stop being upset. Nothing you have mentioned sounds abnormal or worrisome. I've seen hundreds of vaginas (in the medical field) and all of them look pretty much alike. It's normal and healthy to have the discharge as you describe it - just clean it off without soap to be hygenic.
Best of luck.
Sabine
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Hey, I don't know if you remember but I asked you about abortion awhile ago?
I'm 19.. and I actually had the procedure done about 2 weeks ago. And I thought you were very helpful so I wanted to ask you a few things. (By the way, it went well and I'm going for my checkup appointment this week.)
My long-term boyfriend is absolutely clueless about this whole thing. He has no idea I was pregnant nor that I had an abortion. (He would have been supportive since we discussed it once) My mother said that it's private and that even telling him could lead to disaster. I've been good so far, not emotional but healthy and ready to move on with my life.
The issue of sex has come up. My boyfriend & I have actually not had sex for a month or so and now we're both in the mood. I feel ready, we had an amazing sex life before this. I'm going on birth control, but not for another month or two and holding off seems..not so good. What would you reccommend for protection? Condoms? (Well, of course) But I would love to hear your input please. Thank you so much again! (link)
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I'm SO GLAD you did what you felt was right and took care of yourself. Too many women are afraid to do that! It must be so much easier knowing that you did the right thing.
I think that some of my sadness about my procedure is due to the fact that I now have only one child and am not supposed to have more. My husband wanted 3. I would like another, but I shouldn't get pregnant again per physicians' advice. I hope that is not an issue for you and that once you are ready, you are able to have all the children you want - if you want them.
I'm confused about your Mother's idea not to tell your boyfriend. He half-made the fetus and it was his pregnancy too. I would never advise a woman to abort without even discussing it with her long-term boyfriend unless he was abusive. I hope that if he *is* abusive, either mentally or physically, this is your wake-up call that it's time to end it. But I assume that's not the case. I think your boyfriend had a right to know you were pregnant and to discuss how he felt about it. he didn't have the right to make the decision, but he had a right to have his feelings heard. If you are in love with this man and you see a future for yourself with him, you owe it to him to tell him what happened. As it is, this is a major issue and your not telling him could be considered a betrayal and a lie of omission. Of course, there is nothing he can do about it and it has always been your choice, but in a relationship, you have an obligation to share these things. I hope you feel like you can share this with him. If not, it may be time for you to move on to another relationship. Maybe there are circumstances I'm not aware of which would change my mind, though.
My imput regarding your birth control choices would mean less than that which your doctor can give you. However, condoms are good, though not fail-safe. Birth control pills are good and can be effective in 2 weeks to 1 month. I have had IUDs and find them to be effective, low-maintenance, and easily reversible when the time came, but doctors usually (though not always) use those on women who've given birth at least once. There are also over-the-counter gels and foams (which are more effective if used with a condom and should be used every time you have sex in order to protect you). There's the Nuva Ring, which releases the hormones in the birth control pill directly into your vagina. There are diaphragms and cervical caps, but those are not favored because they can slip off the cervix during sex and fail to protect you.
I hope that your doctor who did the abortion will speak with you at your check-up about birth control. Abortion is not a happy thing for anyone involved. The doctor, you, and your partner would likely rather prevent an unwanted pregnancy than have to do a surgical procedure to end one. The doctor should go through your options with you and encourage you to make a decision based upon your health history, your family's health history, your habits, your needs, and your access to birth control. I hope your check-up goes well. :)
Continue to take care of yourself. I'm so glad for you that everything went so well and you're feeling healthy. Please let me know if there's any other way I can help you.
Sabine
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my boyfriend's into bondage and i'd be willing to do it but i dont know how to get into it. like i dont know what to do to make it sexy or dominating or whatever the point of bondage is. any tips? (link)
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My tip is not to let anyone tie you up unless you know him pretty darned well. It's not safe.
For everything else, since it's his kink, you'll have to find out what he's after. He could be either the 'top' or the 'bottom' meaning that he either wants to tie you up or be tied up himself. He might be into discipline. He might not. You might ask him to show you video/magazine examples of what he likes or to write out a fantasy for you.
Good luck,
Sabine
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hi, im really upset and i've cried for ages over this im turning 14 in exactly 2 weeks, this is long right basically i havent started my period my boobs are growing and are a fair size, i've got lots of pubic hair on my vagina and armpits thats normal. I'm worried about the period thing will it ever start? I masturbated with proper dirty sticks and unclean pens will this affect my period and also i don't do much sports apart from athletics once a week in school as part of PE but i'm quite energetic and lively. I'm so scared i really don't know what to do, my sister who is now 17 started hers at the age of 13 and 3 months i don't know about my mum and i can't talk to them or any doctors what should i do? I want to say thank you for any advice. (link)
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I'm going to repeat what I've told another girl in your position:
You will get your period when your time comes.
Every person develops differently. Some of us walk at 10 months of age. Some of us don't walk until 16 months of age. All of that is a range or normal. I know how stressful it is not to have developed while a girl who is younger than you has already.
Just remember this: her ability to menstruate is not a sign that she is better than you. It does not take intelligence, skill, a good personality, or even hard work in order to menstruate. It only takes your body's ability to produce hormones. Women in comas have periods. The ability to bleed is a milestone, yes, but it is not an accomplishment.
You must simply trust that your body will do it when it is able. Until then, no amount of worrying will help.
You are most likely completely normal and healthy. Dirty sticks and unclean pens are not good for the vagina, but most likely all they would do is cause an infection which would be quite obvious to you, in the form of bleeding, cramps, and a foul, smelly discharge *before* the infection could lead to fertility problems or causing your uterus and/or ovaries to malfunction.
I believe that your body is making hormones - otherwise you would not have pubic hair or breast development. This means you will almost certainly start menstruating soon. By soon, I mean by the time you are sixteen. I didn't start until I was 14 years old, myself. When you start is determined by your nutritional status, your body type, your genetics, your environment, and your race (African-Americans and, I'd guess in your case African-British tend to start earlier, Anglo-Saxons later).
One thing we know for sure is that stress can cause even the most reliable of periods to stop or be late. I know it's so hard to just relax and take it on faith, but I am confident that you are normal and worrying will only make your wait less pleasant.
Best wishes,
Sabine
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I'm 17/f
Ok, this is kinda gross... but for the past two days I've been having this weird, brown discharge. It wasn't much at first but last night I put on a pad and it almost looks like I'm having my period. And that's what I thought at first - it kind of looked like the brown, not-quite-bloody discharge I get RIGHT before my period starts (like, within an hour or two). But so far, I haven't started my period and I'm still getting this brown discharge.
I don't have any other symtoms. It doesn't hurt or itch or burn or anything like that. I looked all over the place (including webmd) but couldn't find anything that matched my symptom.
So does anyone know what it could be? This has never happened to me and I don't know what's going on. Could it possibly be my period? Is it related to sexual contact? I'm a virgin, but last week my boyfriend and I did a lot of sexual stuff I've never done before, so could something like that have caused it?
I know I should go to a gynocologist but I'm way scared and I just wanted to ask here before I do that, just in case someone knows something about it and it's not serious.
Thanks in advance! (link)
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Just on the off chance, do you use tampons? Is it possible you left the last one inside and the string is inside as well? That happens sometimes.
Other than that, it's probably nothing, but speak with your Mom/MD if it continues beyond a few days.
Sabine
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my period started the 26th of june. now i had sex on the 5th of july. this isnt during my most fertile time is it? my cycle ranges from 27-32 days. the condom broke. i am worried that i may be pregnant. i am also on the pill. but i started the 1st of july. i was wondering the possibility of being pregnant. and also if i should get the morning after pill just in case.
and also do you know if i can take the morning after pill while on the birth control pill. (link)
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I hate to directly contradict another advisor, but you are most fertile approximately 14 days (or half way through your menstrual cycle) after the first day of your period. It's not true that you are at your most fertile right before your period. That means that in the current cycle, you are likely most fertile around July 10-11th. That doesn't mean your chances of getting pregnant are too low for you to bother with. It's still a good idea to get Plan B or to call your doctor to see if there's anything you can do. Most likely, you didn't conceive, but anytime sperm enters the vagina, there's a chance.
It's great that you were using a condom and protecting yourself with the pill. A backup method never hurts. Of course, the pill won't be at full effectiveness yet. I'd advise you to call your doctor.
Sabine
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hi, im 14 just turned it im tamil and basically when you have your period you have a ceremony its really big in a hall and you wear a bra well this show off girl that i know is having hers on the 15 july i havent had mine yet she shows off about it and it will be embarassing for me to be there as she just turned 13 and i havent had mine im upset please help thanks!
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Sweetie, I don't really know what to say except what I've already said. You will get your period when your time comes.
Every person develops differently. Some of us walk at 10 months of age. Some of us don't walk until 16 months of age. All of that is a range or normal. I know how stressful it is not to have developed while a girl who is a year younger than you has already.
Just remember this: her ability to menstruate is not a sign that she is better than you. It does not take intelligence, skill, a good personality, or even hard work in order to menstruate. It only takes your body's ability to produce hormones. Women in comas have periods. The ability to bleed is a milestone, yes, but it is not an accomplishment.
You must simply trust that your body will do it when it is able. Until then, no amount of worrying will help. If you think this girl will embarass you at her party, you should either choose not to attend, or attend, but understand that the ability to bleed is not something she earned. It's just a bodily function. It will happen for you and you will have your party.
Best wishes,
Sabine
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why do people like to have unprotected sex when they're not trying to get pregnant?? does it feel better...or give you more pleasure doing it without a condom??? (link)
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People sometimes have unprotected sex because they're too lazy, but I think more often it's because of one of the following factors:
1) Alcohol/substances - can mess with your judgment
2) Lack of planning - they didn't bring a condom or weren't on the pill because they didn't know tonight would be "the night"
3) desire to avoid being thought of as slutty - they don't want to carry contraception in case their intended partner got the idea that they had sex often (in a new relationship)
4) denial or being naive - feeling that nothing will happen to them or believing correctly or incorrectly that their partner is disease-free
5) misconceptions - some people think a person cannot get pregnant with her first intercourse experience (not true)
6) religious restrictions on contraception
7) passion - in the heat of things they're too embarassed or don't want to interrupt the passion to get birth control
Yes, the feeling of sexual intercourse is more pleasant without a condom (no different with a diaphragm, sponge, IUD, birth control pill, etc.), and I think that's one reason men want to have sex without condoms. Most women don't mind them - it's just the men who seem to complain that sensation is diminished.
Hope I helped.
Sabine
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hi, i have just turned 14 and my period hasnt arrived yet i used to masturbate with pens and dirty objects will this affect it and my friends all have started theirs and talk about when it is and how they have to wear this many pads and stuff i don't want anyone to know my period hasnt started im really scared and upset please help me thank you so much. Will i ever start it?
xxx (link)
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My period arrived just after I turned 14. I felt the same way you did. Girls these days are starting earlier. The average used to be 12. I think girls as young as 9 are getting their periods now.
I can't say you're better off without it because I remember that feeling of being different and worrying whether I was normal. At one point, I felt inside my vagina and thought my cervix was a penis. I thought I was intersex for a while! I don't know what to say because "don't worry" doesn't work. I believe you are very likely completely normal and your period will come when it's your time. I believe your time will be soon. Medical guidelines say that you should see your doctor for evaluation if you haven't started menstruating by the age of 16. I wish I could say something to make it better, but all I can say is that I was once where you are now and it all turned out fine for me. I'm not intersex. I have a child. All that stuff works fine. I think you will eventually find that things work out for you as well.
THEN you can happily write in for advice about how to use tampons and asking why your period is irregular or complaining about cramps, acne, and PMS. :) Looking forward to it.
Hang in there.
Sabine
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my bf wants to eat me out & he told me that he was going to but i told him that i thinks its just kind of sick. Am i wrong? Dosnt it smell bad, especially if their down there? I just dont get why they would want to. (link)
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Well, I'm a married woman and *I* don't get the attraction. I've had it done before and just the thought of the fluids and all the bacteria both in his mouth and in my vagina really gross me out! Don't get me wrong - I kiss and we have sex, but down germs are supposed to stay down and up germs up, if you ask me. That's just me. Yes, there can be a funky smell, but it turns some guys on. And if you clean often and well enough, there's not much smell at all. A lot of women love oral. I just don't like it. I don't think it's wrong - it's just my opinion. If he really wants to do it, I suggest that you could give it at least a try, maybe right after you've showered together or something. If you don't like it, though, you don't have to do it.
Sabine
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I am 17 and my boyfriend is 20. He has had sexual reltionships before but when me and him have sexual intercourse his errection doesnt last long. He says that he doesnt know why it happens and that it hasnt happend before. Even when i use my hand to pleasure him, he holds an errection until he ejaculates. He insists that its not my fault but i cant help but think that it is. im worried that we wont be able to have sex properly.what can i do?
Yours...Confused.x. (link)
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Has he tried masturbating to orgasm before he becomes intimate with you? It will take a bit for him to get hard again, but then it will take longer for him to come to orgasm again.
Sabine
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How far after having sex without a condom, should I take a pregnancy test?
I had it last week, was supposed to get my period this week. Do you think its to soon? (link)
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It's likely too soon. Even the most sensitive of tests usually won't work until about 2 weeks after implantation.
Sabine
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how do you get to the climax of an orgasm
16/f (link)
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There's nothing specific. You do what feels good until the orgasm overtakes you. It's a sort of overstimulation of the pleasure centers in the brain and it won't happen unless you get the right amount of pleasurable stimulation. If you are getting excited, but you can't orgasm, you need to try something else, like using a vibrator or having stimulation on your clitoris or g-spot.
Sabine
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is it true asian girls have smaller ...vaginas?
or what.. (link)
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I think it's true that Asian women tend to be more petite and that more petite bodies tend to have smaller structures. Younger women have tighter muscles. So a young, petite Asian might have smaller genital area, a tighter vagina, and possibly a shorter vagina if the woman is short of stature.
Sabine
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what are things i can masterbate with without poping my cherry (link)
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don't forget a massaging shower head
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ok im almost 18 and when i was younger i experminted i was like 6or7 at the time it was like 10 or more years ago and the kid i experimented with was like 8or9 only like 2 years older than i am and i havent done anything since than nothings been in there fingers or nothing and i want to know can i still consider myself a virgin it happened so long ago and do you think that ill be tight still i dont even remeber if it fully went in or not i mean he was only like 9 how big can it be so will i still be tight like a virgin please help and i just want to know am i or not and will i be tight will the guys suspect please help will the guys be able to tell
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Well, the answer of whether or not you can consider yourself a virgin is an interesting one. You can and should consider yourself a virgin if you feel you have honestly never had sexual intercourse with another person. Some people think that technically, lesbians who have not been with men are virgins. I think they are not. I think the term 'virgin' is sort of silly, since it means different things to different people. However, what happened when you were younger was more like sexual acting out. You did not know what you were doing at the time and likely had no sexual feelings, you were just trying out the anatomy. I don't even know whether this was or could have been consensual, however, I would not consider it sex. It may have been sexual abuse or acting out.
I think you will be tight and I don't think that guys will be able to tell. If the one you choose as your first real sexual partner says anything about the lack of blood on the sheets, because you could have broken your hymen during the acts with the boy or during any of several other possible activities, you can simply tell him that many virgins do not have intact hymens due to tampon usage, horseback riding, rough play, etc. I would simply pretend that I were a virgin without a doubt. He probably won't even bring it up. And you may have an intact hymen. Who knows? You may bleed.
So I guess the short answer is that I think you are a virgin still and I don't think anyone will be able to tell otherwise. Don't allow them to think there's any reason for doubt and you will likely never be questioned about it.
Sabine
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