Hmmm...you may have already tried this, but have you bought the "ribbed for her pleasure" ones? The thinner the better..just be careful to take it slowly so not to break it.

And of course, there are tons of different "toys" you could try. My personal favorite was one that had a sort of 'ring' that my man actually wore down at the base of his penis..(if I'm right, it can be put over the condom). The ring was attached to a control that made him into a 'human vibrator' *giggle*; and much more comfortable than those "fake" toys! It even had different speed levels..not to mention, he enjoyed it quite a lot too!

If you want to drive her crazy...lots of romance, lots of foreplay, (the slower the better..ya know: kissing, stroking, caressing, etc etc etc) lots of teasing..lots and lots and lots until she just cannot stand it any longer...until she is practically tearing your clothes off. Sometimes the 'wait' can make the pleasure SO SO MUCH more intense and passionate! *ah memories-I do love passion*

Have fun and stay safe!
Jasmine

Holly took the words right outta my mouth! *gives Holly high fives*!

Kegel exercises are the best way. (I think we've cleared up the misunderstanding already that you meant orgasm not orgy..)

I highly recommend it if you want to improve your orgasm, achieve orgasm if you never have, and/or if you aspire to have multiple orgasms! *I will attest that this absolutely works!*

The great part about this exercise is that, once you know how, you can do it at anytime and no one is the wiser..you can do this exercise while watching tv..talking on the phone, whatever!

Just in case you can't get your hands on the magazine article Holly mentioned, below is a quick link that not only tells you how to perform this exercise, but also addresses most everything you may ever want to know about kegel exercises:

http://sexuality.about.com/od/anatomyresponse/ht/kegelswomen.htm

AND, to make sex even better, your male partner can do them too- kegel for men can increase their orgasmic pleasure, and prevents pre-mature ejaculation!

Below is the link on how men can perform kegel:

http://sexuality.about.com/od/anatomyresponse/ht/kegelsmen.htm

Enjoy! and remember to practice safe (and more enjoyable) sex!
Jasmine

WARNING VERY GRAPHIC!!

If I had to guess, you likely didn't relax yourself enough before you tried it.

I don't know exactly what you did, but I suspect that you were rushing yourself.

Just as if you were to have sexual relations with a guy, you need to help yourself become aroused before it will be enjoyable. Also, many females become blocked because they are convinced that this is "naughty" or "something unnatural"..when in fact, it is COMPLETELY natural, and a good way to practice safe sex!!

{warning graphic explanation coming}
Begin by closing your eyes, and then by lightly stroking on the outside of your underwear, it's best if you keep your eyes closed (in my experience), and relax as much as possible.(I prefer to cover up that way I don't feel like I'm some sort of porn star on display-even though no one is there to look: but that is up to you) Don't let yourself get caught up in thinking that you won't enjoy it, or it is "unnatural" in any way!

As you relax more and more..move your finger closer to your nude skin..at this point you may want to remove your panties, or maybe you won't- whatever is more comfortable to YOU.

Tease yourself..don't rush it.

Rub your fingers along the outside edges and let yourself enjoy what you are doing. Stroking your vagina from back to front, with your entire hand on the outside, also helps you to relax and enjoy more.

As you feel your body begin to react, start to rub lightly on your clitoris- (this is the very top of your vaginal area and the type of orgasm that most women experience- you may want to go in slow circles).

You may just enjoy doing this..if you feel like you want to go further..slowly move your fingers down to your vagina and, again rub on the outside but lower down. (again circles sometimes feel good). This is the point, if you haven't already enjoyed yourself, that you would SLOWLY insert your finger, a very little bit at a time, you may even want to move your hips in rhythm just as if you were having actual intercourse.

If you find that you enjoy one movement more than the other, free yourself to move back and forth- remember this is YOUR BODY, and you can do to it as you please, you can enjoy it as you please!

Eventually you should be desire to insert your finger further (doesn't mean you have to put it all the way in, just do what you enjoy doing)...curve your finger upwards (palm up) and you can "tickle" yourself a little, by making a small "come here" movement with your finger.

If you find that you enjoy self-gratification, the "come here" movement will eventually find your g-spot. You'll know when you find it-it's actually "raised" a little. (and the least likely, but most gratifying, kind of orgasm a woman has).

now go practice safe sex! *smile*,
Jasmine

Post Edit:

Most all women achieve orgasm by way of stimulating their clitoris rather than with their g-spot (which is why most guys are always trying to find it -teehee- the elusive g-spot!). Honestly, I didn't find my own g-spot till my early thirties! So, most women find that to stimulate their clitoris (like I said, in circles or slowly stroking) while also fingering themselves brings them the most pleasure!

Yep, guys love it when you rub their thighs, especially their inner thigh (just like you)..and the most sensitive place on their arms is below the elbow on the inside. Sounds like your very sensual, I bet your guy loves it!

Most women (and even men) assume that the genital area is the only erogenous zone that arouses a male...that is only because they haven't taken the time to slowly explore the guy into a fit of passion!

And yes, that is one of his erogenous zones.

Believe it or not..his nipples are very sensitive too, just as sensitive as yours are! Also, his belly button!

.. and below his belly button, along the tops of his jeans..rub your fingers (or uhum if you are at that part of the relationship, your tongue) lightly across and s.l.o.w.l.y.. from one side to the other, just outside, it will drive him crazy. *giggle*

I like to start kissing my guys mouth, with my hands running up and down lightly along his sides, his back and through his hair, and ALWAYS going slowly..I usually begin at his ear..then down and around his neck (where I sometimes enjoy marking him *wink*), down his chest, to his nipples, then trace the line down his stomach, until I reach the top of his jeans and go from one side to the other. *giggle*..he loves it. Of course, after that he can get extremely impatient about what he wants next..but, IMO, if your having intercourse- or even if your waiting, the exploring part leads up to much MUCH more passionate sex when that time comes along! *ahh passion my favorite!*

If you take your time, (and as a guy if you will just wait a darn minute and let your girl do this *lol*)..you can start with your hands from the less erogenous zones and work your way around to the most sensitive areas, all the while kissing him on the mouth and neck.. it will have his every nerve ending responding..and then no matter where you touch him, he won't hardly be able to breathe, you may even have him trembling before it's over with!

Have fun and remember stay safe! *wrap that rascal if you go all the way!*
Jasmine

OH, and if there is anyone that needs tips on "how to" correctly put on a condom just message me. It's better to be safe than sorry!!

Oh, trust me he's turned on..giggle

Did you know that guys have more pleasure points/erotic zones than girls do?

Yep, merely rubbing the inside of his forearm is much more pleasurable to him than it is to you!

Okay, down to business..

While kissing him run your hands through his hair. Down his chest..and around his back, if he's wearing a shirt grab handfuls of it, then tug him closer to you and move closer to him *this is fun for you too-grin*.

Another great pleasure point is his neck. Wanna drive him crazy?..start at the edge of his ear..while "breathing soft and warm"- put loving words into his ear: remember WARM..nibble on the "earring" part of it..then travel down that side of his neck for a bit, and then follow around as far around to the back of his neck as you can (the back of the neck is a VERY strong erotic zone!).

Your likely to cause him to become overly aroused with the advice your getting..lol...so please do tread carefully.

but..
Have Fun,
Jasmine

First, I'm sure your breasts are beautiful...but

It sounds as though you are REALLY, REALLY nervous about this, are you sure that *YOU* are ready to take this step? It should be a decision that you make, not just something because he wants it. If you want to have a lasting healthy sexual relationship with this guy- it may not be the right time (or place) for you.

I realize that many of us, being women, tend to be "pleasers" and want our significant other to be happy...BUT, I'm concerned that you aren't nearly ready because of the feelings you described.

I could give you some advice on "how" to make this situation more comfortable..but I'm afraid that you just aren't comfortable with it AT ALL right now. Because you are already uncomfortable with this..the time and place is making it much worse.

Have you asked your boyfriend to wait until you are at least in a place where you feel safer?

This should be pleasing to YOU also, and it sounds like it's not going to be *frown*.

I remember that when I was young, I wanted the lights off (or in the dark) during my first experiences. It helped me enjoy them more and be much less subconscious. AND there was one time in my early sexual years that I was in a boys room making out, and his sister walked right in!!! I was NEVER so embarrassed! I think my entire body blushed...let's just say the "moment and passion" was completely lost! From that point on, I couldn't wait to get out of there, and, needless to say our relationship took a turn for the worse afterwards.

Please reconsider this right now. I say this because your sexual experimentations at this age should be pleasurable...if it isn't, then it may cause problems with you and he later; and it may cause you to develop unhealthy feelings attached to sex, sometimes permanently!

If you decide that this is REALLY what you want- just drop me a line in my inbox and I will add to and/or edit this post and advise you on how to do what your question asks.

Remember, there is no rush..pleasurable relations..in all it's forms should come naturally..and with fervor. The good memories, the ones that happen naturally are the very best!

Hugs,
Jasmine
========================================
Post edit:

Okay, here goes..

When you go to his house wear a heavy, but a bit oversized shirt so that you don't have to wear a bra (or double up with an undershirt if your more comfy). If you cannot find a place that is more private, at least get into a position where you are say, leaning or laying back and he is on his side with his back facing the door, so he can block the view of anyone coming in. Tell him that it is more of a turn on for you if he just pulls your shirt up slowly, also this will give you time to yank your shirt down, so it will appear as if your just laying side by side if someone barges in.

It will be much more pleasurable to you if he goes slowly, kissing you first, and while still kissing you, he can begin stroking you on your sides and tummy and working his way, slowly to your breasts. Most guys tend to be a little rough until they know better, so as he's rubbing your sides and tummy tell him whether he is rubbing too fast or hard-- that way by the time he works his way to your breasts he is being gentle enough that you will enjoy it. Be sure to tell him squeezing them is not as enjoyable as lightly rubbing, and that if he does want to squeeze them that he should do it VERY gently. Let him know that your breasts are almost as sensitive as his scrotum, that way he realizes how gentle he should be.

If it gets out of hand, be sure to let him know your not ready, and if you decide that you are ready..stay safe and tell him, "no glove, no love"!

Hugs,
Jasmine

I agree with below..I don't recommend just grabbin' any ole' guy up..it's likely to lead to something more and what if he doesn't come prepared, ya know?

Yep, self gratification..that's the way you should go. Take care of your own needs and you'll be al'right *smile*..in fact, at this point, it will probably be more satisfying...really..cause you know what you need much more than a stranger would!

Just dim the lights, crawl under the covers and get lost in your imagination.

I have SO been in your situation (minus the anger/crazy although I felt crazy at the time). Don't think for a minute that the Creator doesn't have a sense of humor (or a tricky side, I tell ya). I wanted a baby SO bad! When I was with my now ex-bf we tried and tried actively for over 5 years to get pregnant and stay that way - couldn't get pregnant and the times I did I always miscarried in the first trimester!...and then when we broke up, I turned to a guy that I dated before for comfort, he was much like my "rock" when I fell: and a true best friend.

Guess what? I got pregnant THAT month and carried to full term! Strangely enough, I have always stayed with one guy and one guy only. ONLY that one particular month in my ENTIRE life, I had slept with both guys within a week of each other- I hadn't even been with more than one guy within months of each other! (something I would have NEVER done before! The guilt ran deep I tell ya..) I actually fell into the category of not knowing exactly whose baby it was..I was completely devastated and felt really trashy because I wasn't raised that way! Even though I'm not religious, I still felt guilt and shame.

You know: Life does throw ya some curve balls!..and the creator "works in mysterious ways".

Anyway, my ex and I naturally ended up back together, and according to the OB my pregnancy date was the day that belonged to my ex...I found out later (as she grew to look so much like my best friend), that he was mistaken. But my ex was there for her birth and I gave her his last name honestly thinking she belonged to him!

What a conundrum!! "Careful what you ask for because you just might get it!": one of my other favorite mottos. I wanted and asked for a baby fervently.. and this is how the Creator gave it to me!

I believe that you will love this baby no matter what! AND maybe if your ex loves you enough he will come help you raise this child!

Oddly enough, in my situation, we three sat down and decided that my ex would be the father and my best friend would take the role of "uncle" that way he could actively be in her life..

As I always say- communication and truth go a long way. If your ex isn't willing to come back and be with you during this difficult time, then he probably wasn't worth your love anyway! And think about what kind of father that would make him?!

I'm sorry that this happened to you, much like it happened to me- but your old enough now that you really can "reach down into that well of strength" and draw on it when you need it most.

Have you always had depression? Or are you mainly depressed because of the way things are going in your life right now? If it's number two, I want you to know that whether your baby has a father right now, won't make a difference at all about how very much you love him/her!

I can't cure your depression, but you said you wanted a baby. Now: concentrate on that beautiful being growing inside you- it's really a feeling like NO other in this universe. And yes, you should seek out some counseling if you find yourself crying everyday. It's not healthy for you or the wonderful being growing inside you!

If your ex won't come back, and you really, really feel that you cannot do this alone (although I truly think that you can). Now is the time to weigh your options: keep the baby, adopt the baby out or..abort it. Please before you do anything drastic, talk to your ex, he may be very willing to take the responsibility of being a father, whether it is his or not!

As hard as it may be, you should turn to your family for help- they will likely be upset at first- but once they see that beautiful being- they will love it ALMOST as much as you will- and believe me THIS is a love that you just cannot "find"..a love like no other.

I know from experience that the wonders of motherhood (whether it is biological or "step") never ever cease!

AND now I know why things turned out the way they did for me...my daughter's biological father passed on before she even got a chance to know what a wonderful person he was...and my ex..well he didn't make such a good husband and father anyway- not much at all! But, now I have this wonderful little curly headed, beautiful, smart piece of ME that I can shower ALL my love on and that loves me unconditionally and with no strings attached!

So, now I'm a "single" mom, with a daughter that IS MY HEART. I don't have any regrets, although I was confused as heck back then. And, I've been dating a great guy for over a year, that my seven year old daughter adores more than her supposed "dad on the birth certificate"..

Just remember, "what doesn't break you makes you stronger"; and "for everything there is a reason"..you just don't know what that reason is quite yet and that is the most difficult hurdle to overcome.

You'll be in my thoughts and I'm sending many Blessings!
Jasmine Moon

Oh sweetheart! Bless your darling heart...

Well, I WILL say this, the devil isn't after you...if such a being exists I'm sure he'd have a long list of people to chase that came in line WAY before you ever would! So just get that out of your mind right now! The creator loves everyone..including you and he (she) isn't going to let some evil being try and take over your life.

You say that you exude confidence, but don't feel it? Yet..you know that you are popular..?

Do you ever have feelings of total control? or like your equal to God (creator)? Have days where you just KNOW that you are better than everyone else? During this time, do you have trouble sleeping?

Back to knowing that you are popular...if you are popular why do you think that you stink all the time?
And that you are ugly and hairy?
When you feel this way, do you just want to sleep and sleep all the time? Do you cry uncontrollably? And feel completely useless and uncared for?

I don't want to be the one to tell you what you seem to already suspect...

http://www.focusas.com/BipolarDisorder.html

Bi-polar/Manic Depression and OCD can be passed on genetically. And guess when they usually roar their ugly little heads first?

Yep, when you are right smack dab in the middle of teenage hell!

Stupidity may or may not run in your family..but I can tell you this: YOU ARE NOT STUPID, your reaching out, and that is a highly intelligent thing to do!

I took Psychology in college, but I didn't get far enough that I could help you with what I perceive could be a psychological problem. I did though spend twelve years with my severely bipolar, slightly schizophrenic, topped off with a severe case of PTSD...husband-person.

You could just be having a bad case of PMS..but I don't think you should take any chances based on your families mental history. From what I've read, you really should talk to a professional, just in case.

I don't know where you are but..here is a start:

Bipolar Hotline: 1-800-826-3632.

If you talk to a psychiatrist anonymously, and I'm wrong, you've lost nothing. But if I'm correct, and do nothing..you may only plunge deeper in despair, and I wouldn't want that for someone who has SO much potential!

Please call..no harm, no foul.

Great Big Hugs and Blessings and I'm here- drop me a line if ya need me!,
Jasmine

Before I answer your question..I want to address the legality issue about underage sex. Keep in mind that the laws are different depending on which state you live in, and which country you live in.

For instance, I live in Texas. Unless they changed the law while I wasn't looking- and I am researching this right now- it is not illegal to have consensual sex as a minor as long as you are both still minors. If one of you is not a minor..say the guy is 17 (legal adult in Texas) he can be prosecuted for statutory rape if, and only if, he is three years older than the girl. If this happens it goes on his permanent record as rape and he must report to the local law authorities and be listed on the Texas state website as a sex offender. (keep in mind that assuming that it is reported).

As I said, I'm still researching..attempting to find a federal law that would override a state law.

If you don't mind answering, and you certainly DO NOT have to...what state/country do you reside in?

After I clear this up, I will address your original question.

Lily Pad, would it be rude to ask where you found your legal information?

Working on it sweetie! Keep in mind there isn't any rush!..*smile*
Jasmine..
==============================

Okay, still researching a bit, but realized something when I stepped away..most counties have some sort of county OB/GYN clinic that is free. The best way that you might find out is to call and ask if they would make you an appointment for a fourteen year old. If it is legal in your area, they would tell you so, and include any stigmas attached to it. For instance, "only if you have a parents permission, etc." You could remain completely anonymous and just tell them your birthdate or year of birth!

IF it is a possibility, make that appt! They are likely much closer to you than planned parenthood is. I have always been of a mind, that if someone decides to have intercourse with someone they care about, it's going to happen whether the state, parents, etc approve of it or not; and I would much rather you take precautions than end up pregnant!!!

Honestly, I am much like my mother was. When she saw that I was gaining interest in my sexuality she came to me and told me (I loved her so!) that if and when I decide to have sex, (but she hoped I would wait until I was married)..that she would take me and put me on the pill herself. AND because we had such an honest and great relationship..when I told her I was ready she kept true to her word without any lectures. (of course, when dad found out he flipped..said she was giving me permission to have sex *laugh*..like it would have made a difference *heh*)

Because most of my friends weren't so fortunate as to have an understanding and loving parent: I watched many of my friends become pregnant and most of them dropped out of school! I am SO grateful that my mother did that for me! I did NOT get pregnant and I finished High School graduating in the top 1/3 or my class- with honors! In fact, I didn't have my first child until I was 29, and by that time I was well and ready to take on the responsibilities of motherhood without any fear whatsoever.

My main concern is that you DO NOT become pregnant, and I could preach abstinence all day long (and blow some hot air, try and place my moral values on you etc-it's just not my style!) Because it's your decision and you will do what you decide to do no matter what I (or any legal institution) has to say. That is a fact proven time after time throughout the ages.

I like that this guy insists on using a condom, good for him! And I hope that you can get that appt! At the very least call the 1-800 # of planned parenthood for resources and information..the counselors there are extremely kind and helpful!

Be sure that this is what you want...not b/c someone justs wants you to do it. I can assure you that for most of us, the first time is not anything like we "romanticize" about..for must of us it is painful, messy and a bit clumsy. You won't ever forget it, but I doubt you will experience any fireworks...that takes time and, unfortunately, maturity...*yawns at self*...

Good luck on whatever you decide and be careful!
Jasmine

There are many types of STDs. Unfortunately, the most prominent one among teenagers is Chlamydia and often has no signs especially in females. (btw, stop beating yourself up, been there, done that, got and cured the Chlymadia, and the T-shirt, but no cookies- just heartbreak *frown*- we all make bad decisions that we regret later and/or feel guilty about).

With females Chlamydia has almost no signs, sometimes there will be a pain in your abdomen area (fortunately, I am very sensitive and detected it, but most do not), but mostly there isn't any. Chlamydia can make you sterile!

My best advice is to ANYONE that is sexually active is to make sure that they have a check-up at least once a year, not only to check for STDs, but also for your general sexual health. (cysts, ovarian cancer-which by the way can be passed along too!-, etc)

I wish I could take you..isn't there ANYONE...that you can ask to take you??!! Most times your county clinic is not to far away, and it's free. You might also talk with someone at

http://www.plannedparenthood.com

They have counselors there that are very helpful in these type of situations! They will likely help you find some sort of transportation to the nearest free testing clinic.

Hugs and blessings,
Jasmine

It sounds like a yeast infection to me because of the "itchiness". Probably because you've been wearing sanitary napkins..you may have made it more "sweaty and airless" in that area. That is what usually causes a yeast infection (that and taking anti-biotics).

You could go to the local pharmacy and purchase a simple treatment, I would recommend the one with the external cream for relief. If the symptoms don't go away after 5-7 days..it's high time to see your physician.

And, yes, your partner can get your yeast infection, but men don't get them as easily- quite rare if I'm correct. Unless he starts complaining of "itchiness" I wouldn't worry that he got it from you.

It may be embarrassing to buy..but there are preg. tests out there that will tell you if your pregnant almost right away. Maybe you could shop at the local "superstore" late at night? This way it is likely only one person would see you..the one opening the case (I've never understood why they lock them up, or put them behind the counter!, so very cruel to young people to be forced to request it!!)

It might be worth looking into, at least to ease your mind (believe me I've been there when I was quite young..fortunately I was just worried for nothing!)

If your menstrual cycle is already due, there are many anonymous programs out there that will give you a free walk in urine test.

See:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org

Also, if you have the courage to buy the test, or go to a facility...and, goddess bless you, if you are pregnant, it will give you more time to weigh your options.

Blessings,
Jasmine

I'm a 36 year old mom who has too much life experience. I realize that, no matter your age, life throws some crazy curve balls at you when you least expect it. I know in my heart that absolutely no one is perfect..and we all make wrong decisions at one time or another; and sometimes we just need someone to help us out without being judgmental! Furthermore, I think that the only stupid question is the one that you don't ask...knowledge is power.

One of my favorite sayings:
"If you live in a glass house, don't throw stones."

Well folks, we ALL live in glass houses at one time or another!

Never say never,
Jasmine

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