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I'm Rachel, I'm 20 and a Junior at Michigan State University! I've been with advicenators for a few years, and I enjoy coming on ever so often to help someone who needs it. I love giving advice, especially to people who have been in the same situation as I have. So ask away ;)


By the way, I just wanted to let everyone know that though I do enjoy this site, advicenators does not consume my life, so please be patient when waiting for a response. It may take up to 2 days, it may be instantaneous.

advice

Hey guys! 18/F

I have a group of friends that normally hangs out together, but lately everyone has been separated. Rachel and Sarah have a problem with Danielle and Jessica, and it is apparent. Now, I am close with both "groups", but I am definitely closer to Jessica and Danielle. Today, while I was hanging out with Rachel and Sarah, they said a few things about Jessica and Danielle. Later that night, Jessica called me and I told her a few things that they said. I did not exaggerate anything at all, but Sarah called me upset that I told them and that she expected that I wasn't going to say anything. There's nothing I can do because obviously I can't take anything back (like I wish I could). How do I make this right? I already sent a message to Rachel because I haven't talked to her easily (she's asleep). I said my apologies (I am sincere about them) but I know they will hold a grudge over me and I know I lost their trust. Is there anything I can do to fix it?

Everyone makes mistakes and has a slip-up. Honestly, the best you can do is apologize and hope they accept it. They will be mad at first, yes, but if they are true friends, they'll get over it and forgive you. Just tell them about how sorry you are, own up to what exactly you said, and be a big person. For future references, don't try and become the middleman. The peacemaker hardly wins; they will just both reference you as a 'source' and pull you deeper into their problems, and you don't want that. Let them deal with this on their own. Stay friends and don't pick sides, and don't show favoritism as well. Invite them both out, and if they can't be a big person and deal with the others, then their loss.

I have been in the same situation. Not worth it to get involved. Trust me.

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One of my friends has really bad body odor.
Its so bad, even our teachers complain about
it when they walk into the classroom. My friends
and I have tried to drop hints like 'Oh I just
got this great new deorderant you should try!'
'What kind do you use?' We've even bought
her perfume, which hasn't helped.
She's sensitive, so we're not sure how to
tell her she stinks. When we say something
smells bad, she just brushes it off by saying
"I don't smell anything"

.. What should we try?

Listen, I know this sounds repetitive, but it's really true. You're going to have to tell her straight up. There's no easy way to go about this, but there are many different ways to approach her, for instance, "_______, you're a really great person, but our bodies are growing and I hate to break it to you, but I think we need to work harder on our personal hygeine." Then just go from there, explaining how people feel, etc. Also, you should either do it alone or with one of her really good friends, because she'll just feel humiliated if you say something like that in front of a bunch of people.

I WAS that girl back in Middle School, and there's no easy way to take it. I denied it and all, but deep down I knew I had to do something about it, and I did. Yes, I was angry at the few friends that said something about it, but eventually I knew that they were trying to help; that they didn't want me to be embarrassed or made fun of behind my back.

It's tough, but gather the courage with a friend to tell her. Break it to her softly, but make sure she knows that she might have a problem.

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just to let you guys knwo im not using the real peoples names but still the situation that is going on.

ok at the beginning of the year i was really close with three other girls (Jessica, Lisa, and Natalie) we were all really close and kind of had a little clique thing. we told each other everythin but i was kind of closer to Lisa and Jessica and Natlaie were close together.

as the year went on it kind of split off into me and lisa and jessica and natalie.

we always had stupid fights which ALWAYS ended up being misunderstandings. like me and lisa thought they were ignoring us and they thought we were ignoring them. whatever. so these problems kept on happening

eventually me and lisa jsut sort of gradually stopped talking to Jessica and Natalie.

then the other day natalie let my friend see her phoen and my friend saw a text message that jessica sent to natalie saying "i hate samantha (me) and lindsay" this really through me off guard.

i mean i knew we had some problems but come on hate is a very strong word.

my question is i dont know if i should try to work it out with jessica and natalie i mean we were all really close or should i just stop being friends with them. i really dont know what to do please help!

Hey,

This is the kind of situation my friends and I are in right now.

I wouldn't all together just stop being friends with them. First, talk to them about it. Say, "So...what was up with that text message on your phone? Do you hate us or what?" Try to work it out with them. Chances are, they didn't really mean what they said, because I know I say "hate" sometimes too, even if I don't mean it (like if I'm annoyed with somebody). Tell them you want to be as close as you were before, and that you want to be friends again and maybe hang out more often. Hopefully, they feel the same way and will want to work things out, too.

If they're not willing to work it out, then forget about them. As close as you guys were before, remember that relationships often come and go...people can change. My best friend of 5 years and I just stopped talking right after we moved to different schools. Even though I miss her, I have to let it go.

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i have a good friend, who i have had over my house many times. i have a lot of fun with her, & enjoy having her over, but she has never invited me over her house. i know her dad & mom pretty well, so i am pretty sure she's no hiding anything. anyways, i wouldn't want to be rude & invite myself over, but i really would like to go over her house one day, considering we're always either out or at my house, but never hers. what can i do to solve this "problem"?
thanks!

Bring it up casually into your conversations, or subtly hint at it...like while you're talking, kinda go, "Hey...how come we never hang out?"

Or if that doesn't work, just ask her about it. I used to never invite my friends over my house because I thought my house was just too boring and I wanted them to have a good time. But when my friends asked me about it, and I explained to them why, they said it didn't really matter, so now I invite them over all the time. Sometimes confrontation is the way to go.

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Things have been going great with my boyfriend. But I can tell my best friend is jealous. I guess I dont blame her but still, I'd like to be able to talk to her about it without feeling guilty like I'm bragging. I've tried to talk to her about like our first kiss or stuff like that but she either gets all quiet or says bad things about him.. like he's a player or something like that (which he isnt, we both really like eachother but thats besides the point). I just really want to be able to share it with her and not feel bad about it. Should I still talk to her about it or just talk to my other friends? Thanx so much.. I rate high!

I think you should try to talk to her about it, that since she's your best friend that you need her to be open with you and tell you how she feels and listen to what you're saying. If it's not working, then maybe just not go to the subject of boyfriends with her until she has one of her own. If she still gets jealous after your talk, talk to your other friends about him and talk to her about other things. Oh yeah...and ask her to explain to you why she thinks he's a player if to you he's obviously not. I hoped I helped

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I am starting to have feelings for my best guy friend but I don't want to do anything to hurt our relationship. What do I do? I'm in a weird situatuion now. I haven't told him.
xo0x CoNfUsEd xo0x

This is a really normal thing that happens to most people...Well, i think first off that you should just talk to him and tell him that you're starting to have feelings for him. If you feel he's ready, talk about maybe starting a relationship...but you DON'T want anything to change between you guys, no matter what. If you think he's not ready, then give him some time about it, back off a little because you don't want to prod him about it. I hope you guys work things out!

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me and my best friend have been best friends for like 4 years and we now go to different schools and we still talk but not a lot and we ain't as tight as we used to be for some reason. well probably because of the whole school switch thing but anyways we both agreed that we need to start getting tight again. how should be start becoming really close again? what should we do or go? im really confused. i need GOOD really good advice not bullshit that doesn't make any sense, thanks so much!

I'm in the middle of the same thing, because I just switched to a different school and my best friends and I don't hang out as much as we used to. My advice is to just call her up as much as you can and hang out with her as much as you can, most likely weekends. Talk to her about your schools and what's going on with the people you used to go to school with. If you call her tell her how much you miss her and talk about what you could do when you both are free. The school switch will make it hard for you guys to stay close but if you guys are best friends you'll work with it =] Hope I helped!

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I dont like my friends, they bother me. they complain and whine and lie. one of them bosses me around a lot. i don know what to do. theyre not real friends but theyre all i have.

Like I always say, TALK to them first. And if they're still like that then forget them and go find some real friends. They're not the only ones in the school and you can start talking to some honest people who don't boss you around and are just plain REAL. And ones who have the same interests as you. Try joining a club or sport.

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okay, me and my best friend were always tight but she likes this guy and he likes her. one day she just got up in all of our faces and my friend maddie was like, "ur always talking about jon and putting him before us." she got mad at her and was like, "well, he IS more important to me than you guys! yhour bugging me!" and i just got mad and upset. what should ido?

If your friend puts guys before her friends, she isn;t a very good one. Tell her how you feel and if she still doesn't accept that then you shouldn;t be taking anything from her! Forget about her for now, because she's unwilling to put someone she likes before her tight best friends. It may be tough but hopefully, eventually she'll realize what great friend she lost and come back. And if she doesn't, well, she wasn't a true friend to begin with.

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theres this really cute guy i like and my friend likes him too and we made a pact that whoever he likes, he likes and each of us wont get mad. but they flirt a lot and i want to let her know hes MINE not hers! its complicated but i like him like a lot and i want him to be mine but the problem is so does she. how do i get her out of the picture?

Okay, the SAME thing happened to me with one of my best friend's. Here's what happened: One year we liked the same guy but we made no pact like that. The guy ended up asking ME out and she got really jealous so what she did was, well, flirt with him. A lot. He ended up breaking up with me for her and that really hurt our friendship. I regretted what happened. The next year the same thing happened. We both liked a boy, we both tried for his attention. I finally decided to make a pact with her and the boy ended up asking me out. This time, she just accepted it and the next week another guy that she liked asked her out. What I'm saying is, you made a pact and you should keep it. There's no way to get her out of the picture because you promised her what would happen, would happen. It seems like you guys both like him a lot but who do you think HE likes? Guys aren't worth hurting relationships with your friends. There are PLENTY of guys out there looking for the right girl and hey, you might be one of them! If this is really bothering you, I suggest maybe talking to her but don't say anything to threaten her. (ie, do not say "Ryan is SO mine! Get away from him you dirty looking skank!") If he seems more into her, just accept it. It may hurt but there are so many other cute guys worth dating, and you might be the girl of his dreams. =)

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