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my friends grandfather died this morning. hes really hurt. but i dont know what to say to him. im scared ill say something wrong. what should i tell him?

one of the onl things really to say is that your so sry.

anything more jsuts digs a whole into a world of unknowns.

sometimes when this happens people need to be alone.my grandma died, and i liked ust talking about her.

spend time with him and let him vent. theres not much to say. its easier to do th listneing when things like this have happened.

take him out, or do something to get his mind off things. do what ever he feels like doing. giv him a day. these are always the best

dont say you know who he feels becasue really the pain he feels might bedifferent then yours.

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I dont know if i should keep the friends i have right now. All they do is complain about their lives and critize other people and when i complain about my life they are all like im sorry i cant do anything about that. And they are rude like it doesnt even matter to them! One of them never even calls me and shes my BEST FRIEND. she never trys at all, like she always tells me that she never ever askes people to hang out. but i told her she needs to ask me because im her best friend. so i just wanted to see what she would do. and now my other best friend is all like calling her all the time and now they are best friends and they always leave me out. we always have history of alot of drama so this time i really want to make our friendship work. OH YEAHH our other friend went to mexico for the whole summer and all she does is gossips about her... and she gossips about my other best friend too so i bet she gossips about me too. and thats the whole reason we got in a big fight last time because she said I gossip to much! but now i try to hold back and shes being a huge hypercryte. Im moving from San antonio to houston and i dont no if its worth being friends with all of them anymore. i feel like ive matured so much and i dont want to be in a little group of gossip anymore, i want to change for the better and just be alot more independent. do you think i should just not be friends with them or what?

i had a similar situation, except i didnt move cities, just schools. but any sort of moving can break friendships. my advice is to keep in touch, but to me it doenst sound like a friendship that will prevail in life. so keep in touch and keep them as friends, maybe see them everyone once and a while. but start a new life, being the same person you are. but trying to find new friends. and if that means having to go througha few, trust me ive been through that at my new school, and it sucks, but its better to be happy. which you dont seem to be at this moment. once youve got new friendships explain to them in truth that its hard to always hang out so far away, and with your new friendships you want to hold onto those while your in you new city, so you might not have enough time for old friends.

o, and im not ure ifyou mentioned this, but you seem to be feeling left out. i say you should make an effort to hang out. notice how the other girl did and now there closer. while your still in san antonio try yur best to still feel a part, but if that doesnt work, maybe a little alone time to think about what the deal is, is what you need.

these type of situations are very hard, and sometimes the best thing to do is just to let go. but be suttle about it, while you dont cause drama.

and dont be afriad of them saying anything about you behind your back, it may be true, but it WILL happen. and even after you leave if they do, jsut know your leaving and it will be better, your tire dof drama and gossip leave it behind. soon what they say wont matter because truly, wut most gossip is, doesnt matter.

take this into consideration.

hope it helped. Lauren

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Your advice is really good. But I find your column really hard to read. May I suggest a darker green text color?


I'll ask you a question here too, so we don't get in trouble for "chatting". Where did you get the sunglasses you're wearing in your default picture? They're cute =]


-LM [lauraxomichelle]

ya sure, of course ill change it.....


i actually got them from my friend for my birthday, but i think she got them at forever 21

Lauren

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One of my best friends and I are going to Kings Island for a school field trip. Kings Island is known for its roller coasters... and she doesn't want to go on them because she is scared. She's been on ( http://kiextreme.com/coasters.php ) Top Gun, Runaway Reptar, The Beastie, Adventure Express and the Italian Job. She's just afraid to go on other, faster rides that have big hills and go upside down. Now I don't want to go to a park full of roller coasters and not go on any of the main attractions. I've been afraid of the rides shes been afraid of (but about 4 years ago) and I overcome my fears (though with my dad). Any tips on how to help her overcome her fear and get her on the ride?

well, first of all shes your friend, but you cant let her get in the way of having fun. let her know that in the begining. try to convince her to go on one of the smaller rides, see how she feels about it. if she enjoys it thats all it takes. but if she really doesnt like it, theres not much you can do.

hope i helped

LAuren

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im new at my school, and i mean yano its great. EXCEPT this one girl. i really really really liked her in the beginning, like me and her could tottaly of been the best of friends. but, shes like really mean. as im finding out. like example today, i forgot my lunch money, i never ever do that, and always have atleast 10 dollars on me, so, today i was like, can i just borrow like 2 or 3 dollars? and ill promise ill pay you back. and shes like wellll, this is my lunch money for the week. [she gets like 20 dollars] and im like, ill pay you back tmrw, i promise. shes like well you might forget or something. and making these lame excuses. and i was like so mad. so i didnt even get to eat lunch. and i ended up passing out in like my study hall later that day. i was so mad. because i skip breakfast. i dont like it, i never will like it. and i can go usually just fine intill lunch.

so yeah. im still pretty mad. because the whole passing out thing, was pretty freaking embarrassing. and i mean, i saw she had a ton of money. she couldve spared me a couple of dollars. and its not that shes poor or anything, she lives in like the 2nd nicest development in my town. and i live in a really really rich place. and she gets her nails done every week and everything. so its not that shes poor. and she cant possibly think, that i wouldnt pay her back, since i live in a million dollar home + i needed 40 cents one day, and i asked the other girl at my table, and she said sure. and i paid her back the next day.

so shes obviously just selfish. or whatever.
how do i fix this?
we cant switch lunch tables..

and she was even telling me about her boyfriend in highschool [were in middle school, 8th.] and all she talks about is him, and how she says she finds it funny to hurt his feelings and show that she has the power?!!!!

like what the heck. yeah. I NEED YOUR HELP.
what do i do!?!?!?

well it was real rude of her not to spare you some money.. but dnt throw mayo on her shirt, thats no way to solve things. first of all you should at least eat a litttle breakfast, i hate it too, but i eat it.


a lot of people are like that, they dont liket o give people money. you might have to deal with her.

as for talking to her boyfriend, you maybe need to confront her, but do it kinda in a sutle but bitchy way to show her thats she was being a btich for not giving you 3 dollars thentelling ehr boyfriend about you.....

dont resort to the mayo, but proove a point, but if she asks you for money, give it to her, to show her your a better person and not a bitch!

hope i helped
LAuren

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Wow ur such an amazing person your strong and your not insecure and how do you do it? I thought i was secure with myself til i read your column and your so strong and how can i be like you and not second guess myself? Wow your so awesome i cant even get over this. How did you get so...confidant?

well thanks, im really flattered. Im not so sure HOW i do it, but i know that i have had my down times. But for one thing i have good friends and family that are really supportive, which is always a good thing, becasue then you feel good. And also not to bragg, but im really fit, and by doing that, i gained so much confident in myself, its like im not concieded[anymore] but im sure of myself becasue i kno i can look good, and if you need to stay fit, join and intense track team, itll make you really fit and people will admire you, which will boost you confidents. I know i second guess myself all the time, but sometimes i just go for it, and even if its bad i feel good that i tried and did my best.

but truthfully i dont know how im so confident. people tell me this all the time actually and ask me for advice[the reason i started the column] and i guess i was born with it, but the things above, well if i didnt have them or do them, i would be a nobody, ugly loser, who sits at home eating[[tho i do do that]].

confidents also comes when your in an inviornment you feel comfortable in, and that you love. i changed schools, and everyone has noticed a change becasue im just happy, which makes me feel good about myself. im also kind of a perfectionist, when it comes to some things, so im not all that perfect, but my confidents comes from happiness, which comes from what i said.

hope i helped
Lauren!

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Alrighhhhht, my friend is in love with Monica. He is a freshmen, she is a sophmore. Thhey have hooked up and whatever but it didnt mean anything...to her. But now hes all upsetbecasue she doesnt want him. Is there anyway I can make him feel better?

well sometimes it just takes time to heal his heart... but in the mean time try to distract him by hanging out somewhere really fun like a theme park or amybe you could go to movie something like that to distract him. Also you mgiht want to try to just talk to him, this happened to me once and all i did was talk to my friend, and i eventually got over it. but other than that there is not much that i know to do...it takes time to heal. hope i helped
Lauren

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hey;
ok so, next saturday is my sister's wedding. it is going to be in the backyard of my house [huge] which is a couple of acres. so on all the invatations, they specifically put NO CHiLDREN PLEASE. however, since i`m her sister [i`m 13] i can obviously go. now, i`m thinking it may be a bit boring, so i want to bring my friend gabie. she`s my age. however, her parents can`t come bcuz they have nothing to do with my family & my parents just want close friends and relatives. they are allowing me to have gabie since i might get bored or something' WHAT SHOULD i DO?????
please help me! what should i do?


THANK YOU SO MUCH iN ADVANCE; HELP ME PLEASE.
i`m a raterr.

HELp!
thanks

i think you should really tell her but in a nice way, say something like you can come and i really wan tyou to but we dont really know your parents very well, and it might be awkward. i know i would be ok with it. most people dont even like there parents to be there. but thats not the point. you really should just let her know, and her parents probably wont care very much. I have a new years party every year and my best friends mom hate my dad, but sometimes it just comes like 'oi dont know them well enough, i might not feel welocme' but who knows. this might not be good advice, im kinda distracted today. sry. but i try : ] hope i helped
Lauren

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