askanniemaylane
advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Well you see. i have a group of friends. there's 3 of us and at some stage one of us will feel left out which is pretty annoying BUT the worst bit is that we have so so so many fights.. atleat once a day if we're lucky we might have one 2 times a week but when we do its always gang up 2 against one im usualy left fighting for myself. but i dont know what to do. should i leave the group and find new friends or not? if i do they might start bitching about me or something stupid like that. but i probably should add that the main reason we fight is beacause of another girl that im friends with and they hate and well THEY CANT STAND ME HAVING DIFFERENT FRIENDS!
If that makes any sence.. please help me !!

Same thing happens to me. I'm friends with this other girl in my school and we hang out now and then. BUT my other two bff's ignore me when I even talk to her. They're so jelouse but about a month ago i confronted them and told them that they could either suck it up and move on and be my friend or completley forget about me. So they said they wouldn't get mad at me any more.

So that fixed it. Confronting them i mean. however your other friends might be different so i'm not sure. But in my case telling them how i felt was so much better then letting their jelousy get the better of me

Q: Okay maybe I just need to vent right now or whatever but I need help. So my bestfriend whom I tel basically everything to, and when I say everything I mean everything. Thats just the way our friendship works, we tell each other everything. That is until lately. She's been acting different. Ever since she met this guy who she likes that lives next door to her. I have to admit I am a little jealous. Only because she always gets the guys, but she just uses them and takes them for granted and fights with them constantly more then most people do. It's always her starting these fights, that might I add are about the most rediculous things. I dont like saying it but some people would consider my friend a "skank". Now today it just set me off I dont know why. Basically i texted her saying I cant go to this talent show thing tomorrow with her. Normally she'll say "aawww what you cant go? Why? You have to go. We need to hangout." stuff like that. This time she texted back "Bummer, i'm with Steven ( her next door neighbor that she likes) i'll call you later. I dont know that just really made me mad. Not to mention well she spends like every weekend at my house, cause she likes to. But I really needed someone to talk to this weekend cause everything seems to be going wrong but no she's too busy with Steven. I dont know. Am i wrong to be mad at her? Am i overreacting? Any advice?
Okay, well I can see where your coming from, I mean If your supposed bff was a true friend then wouldn't she want to hang out with you, not her stupid boyfriend, who will probley be gone in a few weeks anyways? Well... of course your mad. But here is how to deal with this event that could shatter your friendship:

1. DON'T just all of a sudden up and be mad at her, she'll feel like she didn't have a chance to fix the problem.
Try telling her that you miss her. That you feel that she spends more time with "steven" then you. Tell her everything you've told us here, but be nice about it. Then she should understand where your coming from. Then try to make plans for the weekend with each other.
But you HAVE to remember if she still hangs out with this steve guy then you should let her, SOMETIMES! Maybey if you have a bf. or if you get one you all can DOUBLE dATE! :D

REALLY hope that this advice helps,
-A.M.L

Q: me and my best friend have been friends for a while we do everything together but here lately she has been telling me that my boyfriend was making out with his ex girlfriend and that he was cheating on me and when i ask him about it and my other friends they tell me that they havnt ever seen him kiss another girl and that he would never cheat on me but because of what my best friend it caused me and my boyfriend to break up so i dont know what to do any more.
Well if your friend is the type that lies alot DON'T beleive her. But I think in my opinion that your bff is probley right. If she's truely you bff she wouldn't lie like that. BUT if she's been jelous of u spening more time with your bf then her then she might be lying to make you dump him for her. so I don't know it depeneds on your friends

Q: Well i ask my friend to hang out everyweekend but everytime i ask her she says soething like "i have to babysit or i have to clean?" and like i really think she doesnt wanna hang out with me but the next day she can hang out with anyone and i dont get it?

(female, 14)
Hey, this happenes to everyone at some point. I was like that with one friend, I always made up excuses cause either my parents wouldn't let me or i didn't want to. It ended up killing our friendship. So next time she says no then ask her what day will work for her. If she won't go for that then maybey confront her about it. Ask her whats up with her latley. Trust me it's better then wrecking a friendship!

Q: Okay so I have 2 bffs, Kenzie and Bri. Bri and I have been friends since 4th grade, Im in 6th now. All of us are. Kenzie & I just met this year.. but anyway

well we all had this major fight for a really stupid reason and it really effected our relationship, even after words. Kenzie and Bri were never mad at eachother, so their relationship didnt suffer, just the one with me. They were all ganging up on me and stuff, and it was really annoying.

Well now they ALWAYS have plans together, and I feel left out.. It is really upsetting me and Ive tried telling them how I felt, but they just say "Well maybe you should make plans FIRST" But that is hard to do, considering they always have plans. And then on the bus they use MY phone to call and make plans for themselves, not even asking if I want to be part of it. It is really upsetting me. Ill ask "Hey can I spend the night tonight?" And shell say "No I want Bri to" and It just makes me want to cry. Today Im going to Alex's (youve heard about him, lol) birthday party with Kenzie. Its fine when kenzie and I are by ourselves, and its the same way with Bri and I. Bri always says we used to be like this *crosses her fingers* But now we are like this *sticks thumb and pinky finger out, all others down* and it makes me sad. They take it as a joke or get mad at me when I try to talk to them, and I dont want parents involved.

Thanx in Advance!

ALSO. Bri gets mad at me for stupid things like rolling my eyes. I dont know if that helps *laughs*, but w/e

P.s. I know this is off topic, but what should I give Alex for his birthday considering I have no money, at ALL.

what a quinkey Dink. I've had the same prob. in the past. You can even check my column but one of the replies to my prob. really helped me. They told me to talk to my friends tell thim how I feel. So here is my advice for you:

Tell Bri and Kenzi how you feel. Tell them you don't like being treated this way, and that if they want to be friends with you then why don't they start acting like it, because your fed up with it.

BUT if they don't take this seriously or they just say "well we don't need you" Then they aren't a true friend. And I know everyone says that but it's sooooooo true. Try finding other people to hang out with. Who knows Bri & Kenzi might turn around and apologize, or they might be jelous but either way your shouldn't put yourself down, cause it's there loss. IF they aren't gonna treat you like a true friend then don't waste your time on them find someone else

Q: Okay, I'm so annoyed with my supposed "bff's". I have two of them Josh and Katie. We are all attatched to the hip as most people would say, but latley I've got the sense of otherwise! You see Josh is my cousin, and Katie is just my bff, but since the begging of the year weve been all three friends. But now it's like I'm invisable. They'de rather be together then with me. I feel so depresed, I wanna be with them too! I know that Katie likes Josh but I've got feelings too! I don't know what I Should say or do. HELP!
Yeah Thanks for the advise,
but Cmilner1607 Katie likes Josh. But I know that Josh doesn't like katie. He's in love with his ex. "annabell"

Q: Thanks a lot for your answer but the problem is It's hard to just stop a friendship. I've been trying to not hang out with them more by giving them exuces not to hang out with them but they're not taking the hints. They keep calling me every weekend wanting to do something. Your advice was awsome but I want to talk to you more.
Oh, well I'm glad that you read my advice, sorry that it didn't help, I feel horrible. But I guess when it comes down to your friends it's up to you no matter what I say. It depends on if you want to be there friends or not.

Q: First off sorry if this question is in the worng category
Ok so I think my friend has some type of eating disorder. And i'm really worried. Like a year ago my friends and I noticed that she was too thin and that her clothes weren't fitting her and stuff so we confronted her and she's like yeah i know i have a problem i'm seeing someone about it. And she started getting better.
A few months ago, her father died of cancer. And even before then she started getting skinnier again. She's thinner then sghe was before. she looks like skin and bones. And i know for a fact that her mom is too preoccupied trying to take care of her and her brother by herself to see anything.
What do I do? I don't want her to get mad... all I want is for her to be better again
I think your problem fits this catagory fine!
But back to your problem. I feel bad for you and your friend! For 1. eatind disorders can be deathly seriouse, plus it can cause friction on your friendship. I thinnk you should confront this friend of yours, tell her You love her (as a friend) and that you wouldn't be telling her this if you didn't, but your worried about her weight, ask her if she wants to talk about it, tell her that if she can't confide in you then to atleast tell someone else. Ask her if something is bothering her causeing her to act this way, be there for her. Maybey try talking to a guidence counselor about this they can take actions into there own hands, and save her life. your friendship

Q: Pretty much all of my friends exept for two, are treating my like crap. I am a good friend to all of my friends, even friends that aren't that close to me. Like, I'll give them money, advice, take them places and other kind stuff but I feel like I'm being walked all over now. Most of my friends and treatingme so bad I cry everyday just because of that. I can't even stand being around who I used to call my best friend, I see her in school and at work and she makes me want to scream. And another friend or not even a friend, I have 2 classes with her and thats the only times I talk to her, she really made me mad yesterday, I was talking to her about me shaving my toes and she yelled to the whole class "EWW YOU SHAVE YOUR TOES?!" and everyone heard and I was so embarassed and I didn't talk to her for the rest of the class and the next class I had with her. She is really b*tchy and I am so sick of her right now and everyone is getting on my nerves and I get mad when they make me mad and I just ignore and stop talking to them when I'm mad and then they make me more mad by saying stuff like, "stop being a b*tch" and "ohh, someones PMSing" and it just fuels the flame underneath me. I don't like confrentation and don't say anything to them because of it. I think what I'm going to do is just not talk to those people until I am more calm. Is that good? What else should I do?
First of All those people arn't your true friends. This is like a book a read before, "sweet 16". Your just like the girl in the book, you hang out with all these people who say they're your friend, but when it comes down to it they're just backstabing B****s and that is life for you. But The thing is your shouldn't be they're bff's, aquaintences maybey, but not bffs. Try looking at the less selfish people, they may not be 110 pounds or exactly popular, but if they're nice to you then they'll be a true friend. Because you can't change the way you current "friends" are, trust me I know.
Wish u the best of luck
-ash

bio
anniemaylane
Hey what's up It's me ... ASK me anything, cause I wanna help. Even if it's the most stupidist thing i'll ever hear then ask anyways.

Call me Ashley if you would like
Ask Ash. Lol Love it. So


ASK. :) no preasure

Info
E-mail:
Gender:
Female

Location:
KY

Occupation:
School, School, oh & I forgot SCHOOL :(!!!

MSN:
meg641@live.com

Member Since:
May 7, 2008

Answers:
48

Last Update:
November 18, 2008

Visitors:
4184

Main Categories:





Favorite Columnists





layout by Adam Particka

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker