Heyy!!! Dr. Rachel in the house ;) well i'm notta Dr. yet!! I'm good helping with life issues. When I'm older I'm going to become a psycologist, and might as well get started. I love helping people out, and I know it's easier to tell someone something, than to actually do it themselves. So I try to say what I would do in a situation. Sometimes there are problems that no one knows how to solve, hopefully, I'll be able to help you!
Wondering about my username? PSYCOlogy, get it? and SKITZ stands to SKITtles, I just added a Z, they call me skittles, cuz i'm irresistibly sweet!!! :)
E-mail: BigBirdATeElmo91@aol.com
Gender: Female
Location: I ain't tellin!
Occupation: School
Age: 13
AIM: BigBirdATeElmo91
Yahoo: awkwardsilence91
Member Since: April 7, 2005
Answers: 42
Last Update: May 4, 2005
Visitors: 4645
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Ok so I have a good amount of friends and everything... but I am a bit shy. I just know I'd have WAY more friends if I was more outgoing. It's just really hard for me. Can I have advice on how to become more outgoing... and what I should do? Thanks.
-Hopeful (link)
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To become more outgoing, means being more comfortable with yourself.
don't force yourself to do something you don't feel is right. Are you sure you can handle the responsibilites that come with outgoingness? Sometimes, having lots of friends who expect you to be outgoing can be a hassle, it can mean laughing at your self and doing the randomest things.
If you EVER feel way over your head, don't continue. You want to be comfortable. If you're looking for better and more friends. GET ONE person to laugh, and then sit with that one person at lunch. Normally if you pick a person that has a "group" already, you'll meet all of them, and become a minion ;) good luck hun =D we're all rooting for ya!
*Skittles*
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i am starting to like this guy but no one knows. he sits next to me in one of my classes, and yea we flirt =] but one of my good friends has started coming over to my seat lately before class and really flirting with him and he flirts with her.. and the last couple days its been really bothering me b/c she never came to talk to me (but really she just talks to him) until him. should i say anything..? what else should i do? (link)
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Its hard to let your friend know to stop doing something, becaues you don't want to seem jealous. Ask your friend if she has feelings for him, if she says no just to be modest, say how much it hurts you, say you DO like him, and it bothers you to see her flirt with him. OR During art, she may get to flirt with him. But if you see him around school, is all the better ;). during the day, casually talk to him, so by art, you may have something to say to him about somethign you guys were talking about earlier, and add a side of flirt :D good luck hun, and if it doesn't work, there are lots of guys out there. Let your friend know how you feel =D
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I'm 14f and in eighth grade, and my i know this girl who is bagging. ((for all of yall who dont know bagging is a type of inhalance)) FWI she is NOT my friend. I've heard her saying things and mumbling to herself about things like "I'd burn this place up if they'd let me." and "Car Pe Duim." Now I know that's latin for seize the day and I'm really not sure that I want to to be the one to seize it. I htink it might be the fumes from the spray paint she's been huffing that are making her think this way. I'm worried about her and her parents, because there was this fourteen year old kid at my school who was bagging and he got himself killed. I'm not saying I like the girl or anything, but I don't think our little town or anybody else can handle another bagger death. We have had people come to school and talk to us about sex and drugs and this girl does it all. I need to talk to her or her parents somehow, but I'm afraid to go near her. If I don't do something she get her, and the entire town killed with her. HELP!! ((sorry if this was so long)) (link)
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I notice everyone apologizes on long questions!!! but here's my advice:
When the girl is out of her house, (if she does drugs, she'll rarely be IN her house) call her parents, or tell your mom (or dad), and mom's (or dad's) know how to conversate with other adults. And that way, the parents are informed :)
If you're too shy to ask your parents. Then you must venture off...alone. But for the sake of your town!!! Go to her door, yes, find out where she lives, and talk WITH her parents, informing adults with this info, is much better in person. Think about what you're going to say before you get there, and be ready for any type of comment!!!
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my best friend, ricky, is generally a really good guy...hes a good christian and doesnt smoke, or cheat, or drink, or do anything like that...hes really happy and has always been there for me through anything...but hes been hanging out with bad people lately, and i told him i didnt want him to change because of them...he promissed me he wouldnt, and i believed him. he told me he would never lie to me.
but last night, we were talking, and he told me he needed to tell me something, but he couldnt. i was really worried, and i got it out of him. he started by telling me he was sorry he lied to me...so i got scared...he told me he smoked week with some of his friends...i got angry, but he doesnt know that. i didnt want him to feel like i think i can as him anything..but when he needs help, i block him out. but i dont know how to help him..what should i do?
sorry this is really long...
14/f (link)
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Don't worry, long questions, mean better answers :). Sounds like peer pressure. Have you ever had DARE? in 5th grade I had it. What's happening is, your friend feels he must fit in with these people, let him know you're there. Picture him in a pool drowning with these other kids...wouldn't you grab something to save him? Same case here, save him...he's drowning...he needs you now.
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Okay well sometimes I have a problem with talking about people behind their backs. I never really realized it until I started getting in trouble for it. Now I don't even like the girls I hang out with, I try to stop my VERY bad habit but its hard, and without thinking I do it again! It makes me feel so bad and I can't really say that I've tried my hardest...but I need some new ways and tips of how I can keep the thought of "this is bad, stop!" in my head. Also how can I say sorry to my friends? I've said it a million times but then they do it to me! I don't want to be their friend anymore, and I want a new group of friends..how can I do this? Also, with all the drama in my life right now my grades have been slipping, its terrible and it needs to stop! I need to get my priorities straight, but right now I'm not really sure what they are. Any ideas of what I could do? Please help me! (link)
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College and Highschool is your motivation. When you gossip and you KNOW it's wrong, but you do it anyway, subconciously, I think you seek attention. Make new friends who have grade oriented goals, so they'll bring you up with them. Even if they're not popular, because after College, you won't see most of those people, you really need to focus on your ambitions, because you need good SAT scores to get into a good 4 year college, so you may lead a wonderful (and educated) life :)
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Hey im getting into alot of fights with my really good friend on the internet and 1 day my mom read our confersation and now she never aloud over at my house again and at school we hang out alot and we havent got in a fight yet and i realyy want to ask my mom if she could come over but im to scared shell yell at me!! what should i do?? (link)
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That is tough. Give your mom some space for a bit. She probably doesn't want her "poor baby" hurt. And she didn't like what she heard on the IM, and doesn't want you hearing that yet :) that's kinda how mom's are. One day, make sure she's in a good mood, if she isn't, she will probably yell at you. Tell her if you can have a friend over, when she asks who, tell her. And then say, That was her on the conversation, that was a girl at our school pretending to be her. Or make up somethign along the lines of that :) It's a white lie, but you can't be sentenced to not having your friend over!!!
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My friend is hanging out with the wrong people. and hes trying to get me to go out with him and do it too. hes been sneaking out late at night, hes gonna ditch school too hes been asking me to do all this stuff and well im sick of telling him NO!. he is a REALLY!!!!!!!!!! good friend but he wont listen to me im also worred that he might start doing drungs since thats the people he hangs out with (link)
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That's a huge problem right there. I ditched a week of school with a friend once, and that got ME NOWHERE but trouble..let your friend know you don't like what he's doing...next time he asks you to do something, say NO, and say, "why do you want to drag me down with you? I thought we were friends" that will make him concerned that he's losing his friend, hope that helps shannon...let steven know how you feel :)
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I'm currently friends with a 24 year old (man)that smells very bad.I'm not sure how to tell him that he stinks. Him and his mother both smell actually but he is unbearable. He is kinda of an outcast in our town because everyone has smelt him at one time or another which he does not have many friends. He is a really good guy but he constantly smells of cigarette smoke, body Odor, he also is always covered in dog hair. They never open the windows or curtains in the house so it makes the stench just linger. Im also not sure if he washes his clothes or his body on a regular basis. He is very tempermental and i think he will get mad and take it the worng way when i let him know he smells. So my question is how do I tell him he smells without hurting him to bad.
fed up friend (link)
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Tell him. In the end, it'll help him more than it helped you!!! Come'on give your nose a break! I had to sit next to a kid with BO and he constantly stretched his arms wide out and yawned with his MORNING BREATH....it was SO gross. I told him and now he doesn't reek...as much! good luck!!! ::gives get well card to your nose:: if you don't tell him soon, it may never end!
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my best friend is really depressed. she just seems.....lifeless. she is the skinniest person i ever met and i think shes anorexic. i dont know why shes so sad, shes got every thing i want EVERYTHING!!!!! she has a boyfriend who loves her, a dad who is always nice to her, the best body ever, she can run fast. im really worried about her she has an icon of a gothic person an her xanga says dont judge me get to know me first on her banner. she used to cut herself, like 20 times a day. she my best friend in the world and she didnt tell me about that, i had to ask my other friend who she doesnt even like very much.i tell her everything! she told her and not me! i dont know what to do, its causing me to want to die, i cant tell an adult cuz shed hate me. please please please please help. id die without her and if i didnt die from sadness id kill myself. HELP!!! (link)
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Telling an adult is A VERY hard thing to do, especially when you're dealing with best friends. It's always good to tell an adult though. Before you do anything, contact your friend and go to her IN PERSON. So you can get up in her face ;) make sure her family isn't around so you can talk in private. Ask her about it, but don't just say "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!!!" start out regularly, then bring up something where you got sad that day, and maybe she'll open up...if not, just say..."you look sad lately, what's the matter?" I did that with a friend of mine, and she told me, because in a way, she knew I already found out...good luck hun...now go on, and save your friend ;)
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i have this friend and she's like my best friend here at this school i just moved to, and like she knows everything about me and what not. but like recently i've noticed that she's been copying me, like everything and it's really annoying. i mean she's super nice but also shy so i don't know how to tell her this. like my handwriting is my handwriting like it's your thing and i like my handwriting it's actually nice but i've noticed that she started copying the way i write like my n's and h's and t's! like it really bugs me! she also copies the way i hold my hands while walking and she's starting to say things like i do!i always say holy crap like as an expression and she says it too! Like before i came here she seemed to have friends but like when i became friends with her she seemed to be attached to me and i'm like the "leader" of the two of us! isn't she the one who's supposed to show me around and tell me stuff...not me? i made new friends and like i have a lot more in common with them then the ones before that i ate lunch with, with my bff, but when i went to eat lunch with my new friends she wanted to follow, like i didn't want to say no but i didn't want her to come, i know that may seem mean but like the two groups don't mix, but she came and she started comming everday so then everyday up to this day we eat lunch with my new friends but everyday she seems depressed when we eat lunch with them. she's very insecure it seems and it seems like no one really treated her as a real like member of her group before i came, like she even told me that i was the one she was the closest to in all of that table, but i'm like didn't she hang out with them for like five years...shouldn't she be good friends with at least one of them? in the beginning of the year i remember someone mentioning that she was copying them before i came. so how do i tell her that i need some space. or do i even tell her? i mentioned to my new friends that i wanted to hang out with them but being with my bff hasn't let me...sorry this was extremely long. (i have never been the "leader" of a group, we were always all equal and just had fun, and we mostly weren't shy between ourselves! AND i've noticed that i've started to become like her more and it's not the good things, the way i walk like she walks really fast because she's insecure/shy and seems like shes in a hurry all the time and i've started to do that too!) how would i deal with this situation? (link)
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Tell her how you feel, and if you see her sadden, continue with what you were going to say. Because if you stop, it'll never end! YESH, it is SUPER cool to have a minion, but if it bugs you, I know how you feel. I had a friend for 2 years, and I had to deal with 2 years of her copying my handwriting (coincedence, your friend is just like mine was), and like, she copied my work, she tried to act random like i do...and it bugged me SO much!!! Are you gonna wait until 2 years pass? End it now. If she truly bugs you, don't hesitate, or you'll regret it later...Good luck hun, hope everything works out!!!
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okay i have a friend in argentina and her mom and dad got devorsed the other day and her and her mom and to move in to someone else's house becuase the dad is like going to jail becuase he is a really really really bad person!!! My friend is always sending me e-mail and seems really sad!!! How can i mak eher feel better i fell bad for her!!!!! I mean she does not have very many friends either and a lot of peole make fun of her!!!! How can i help her feel better at least a little better? THank you in advance!!! I rate high!!!!! :) (link)
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The best thing to do is, don't get involved!!! Leave it be, and never talk about the subject, and don't let her talk about it either. There's not much you can do from your computer screen, and on emails, you can't really see how someone is feeling! so send her smiley faces :) and always talking about happy things. Don't pity her, there are probably some good things going for her!
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ok so i have this friend and she's mexican and obviously she's not white. i'm persian but i dont look persian at all...i look white b/c i basically am. she's acting all getto all the time and its hard to deal with sometimes like she is acting all like that and i'm stuck being white. how do i deal with this? (link)
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you aren't stuck being "white." You can act however you choose, whatever suits your personality. If you'd like to act like her, but feel awkward when you do, then maybe mentally you're "stuck being white." I come from a middle eastern side as well, my dad is from Jordan, my mom is American, so I too, look white as well. My advice, don't worry about it, if she's your friend, she won't mind you acting "white" ;)
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