ask MichiruKaiou

I love helping other people with their problems, which is why I decided to start an advice column of my own! So if you ever need advice on almost anything, you can ask me! ^_^
Gender: Male
Location: Florida
Age: 15
Member Since: December 25, 2003
Answers: 196
Last Update: December 21, 2004
Visitors: 10578

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my friend has had this off and on relationship with this guy.hes fingered her and made out alot and stuff but he goes off and does stuff like that with other people.shes like my best friend EVER and she calls me crying sayin hes makin out with some girl.it breaks my heart and i think she should leave him.all he does is break her hearrt.she deserves so much better but she claims she loves him so much.other times she hates him.can someone help me?im afraid im in the middle.
Signed,
Concerned Friend _(link)

It's very sweet of you to care so much for your friend. You should ask her, "Why do you constantly want to be with someone who keeps breaking your heart? Do you like being hurt?". Make her think about that, and guide her to making the right choice.

Hi my named Jenipher and I am haveing problems with my friends , they keep asking guys out for me that I dont even know, are they my true friends or not , i tell them to stop and that I dont like it, what do do???? Oh and I hardly know any one on here can we become friends??? Thanks Jenipher And I will Rate u _(link)

They may be doing this because they want you to socialize more, tell them you don't need their help. You can help yourself and would prefer it if they didn't constantly do you a favor in which you never asked for. Tell them you don't appreciate what they're doing at all and if they're your friends they listen to you. And sure to your last question.

i belive my friend of 5 years is faking a pregnancy. she is 35 years old. she has nver had any ultrasound pics,she refuses to let me go to the docter with her she does not even know her docter's name. her due date was march7th 2004and it's now the middle of may. her excuse is that the docter has miscaulted her due date and she is now due june18th 2004. i gave her a baby shower at work when she should have been about 7 months pregnant and she recived alot of gifts now our coworkers are asking me where's her baby,she has not worked there since the end of feburary. how can i talk to her about this and tell her she should return the gifts to the people who gave them to her without hurting her feelings. she really is a nice person she wants a child very badley she has no children she has been with 4 differnant men in the last year wanting to become pregnant. please help _(link)

If she really is lying to you, then I don't think there's any other way then to actually talk to her. Simply ask her, in a polite way, if she actually is pregnant.

If she really is pregnant, her stomach area should be larger (assuming its been a couple months since her "day of conception"). If it isn't, then it's obvious she isn't.

Tell her you think, or know she's not pregnant and that is isnt right to do that just for presents, and being treated differently.

If this didn't help you at all, just write again!

Hey, Can I ask u something I have a nother problem
I met this guy and I really don't know what he looks like , I chat with him here and there ,but
I think he's really sweet and everything what should I do???
-JayJay-
_(link)

Well if you've never met him before, I really suggest you don't take it farther than a friendship. One in thousands of online relationships will work out [assuming you're talking about online], but almost all of them don't work out more then a couple months. One of my friends talked to a guy, he was really sweet, said he was 18, sent her a picture.. and in reality he turned out to be a 54 year old man. So you never know who's on the other end unless you actually meet him. So I suggest just keeping it on a friendship level.

Hi , I have a very heart hurting Question, I met thi guy today and he's really sweet and every time hes around me he gets speachless. I feel kinda of a connection between us but he asked me out today and he's 16 and hes really nice , almost like u , but we just met and if I say yes , then what? i hardly know him and I feel that he's the right guy for me but he's a little to nice and he opens doors for me and protects me alittle to MUCH. What should I do? We have a lot in commin like Basketball , skateing and chating ,but my sister likes him but shes 12 years old and he 16, Should I go out with him?? I need some one very nice but can just be their selfs.Is he???
-JayJay- _(link)

Maybe answering with a "yes" isn't right yet if that's how you're feeling. He might be trying to act himself, but maybe is nervous of the fact that you may not like him. As you can see, he's doing a lot for you, so maybe he is right for you? Personally, I'd go ahead and take that risk! Love is a big risk! And this is just another step to help you along. If you're still not comfortable with going out with him, then tell him you'll "think about it", or something on a similar basis!

And also, don't worry about your sister.. if he liked HER he would have asked HER out! ;)

Me and my Best friend do everything together. we are like family. She lives down the road from me. I just found out that she is going to be moving soon and I dont know if we are going to go to the same high school next year. Or if we are still going to be friends. What should I do? _(link)

It's very hard to lose a best friend. I know how you're feeling, I lost my best friend because of a fight. But anyway, the most you can do is just try to keep in touch. Just call eachother, E-Mail, write, instant message, etc. and try to keep as in touch as you can!

Hi see my sister and mother usally take the computer during the day, but when their not on I can. When ever myturn comes up they say 30 min.
How can I get them to let me on during the day , and some at night?
again thanks -Jenni-
ps I have msn Instant messanger, don't know about Aol??will that work? do u have msn? _(link)

You can ask them to let you on more. That's the only way to get them to let you on more.

AOL messangers can instant message AOL Instant Messanger (AIM) users, and vice versa. And Nope I don't have MSN Messanger.

Hi again Thanks for the the advice,see I'm homeschooled and I don't hardly get out much well besides going to my grandparents . If I am homeschooled and hardly go any where, how can I make friends that good as u? I think I aready feel better . U are a sweet person.
-JayJay- _(link)

Oooh, I think I'm understand where you're coming from now! Okay, although some of the things I mentioned may not be possible now, there's still other ways to make friends.

OPTION 1
Do you live in a neightborhood with lots of other kids? Or at least in a community with lots of kids? Maybe you could go outside when they're outside and introduce yourselves to them?

OPTION 2
Try going to the mall or other place with a friend you already have! Then meet people there. I've met half my friends by going to the mall, just go into a store you like and more than likely you'll run into someone who likes that store too and that will give you something to strike a conversation!

OPTION 3
Even though real friends won't match up to this, why not try internet friends until you meet other ones that you can be with? Try making some friends online in a chatroom with the topic of your interest, or a message board of the topic of interest, or other things? I know this isn't a very good option because nothing can compare to real life friends, but it's an alternative until you can make some new friends. Hey why not befriend ME?! If you have AOL Instant Messanger then instant message me at oXDark x LightXo !!

Again, I'm really sorry if this wasn't of much help. Just write again if you need more help.

Hi my name is Jenipher, Jenni for short, I met this guy when I was 14, he lives in Flordia. And we got very close, no we didn't have it ,but I feel like my life fell apart when he left. I live in Kentucky and well his name is Ryan. Now I'm 15 and I still miss him ALOT! and I always hope that he'll come back to Teen Camp, But he never dose , Help me get over him Please!!!!!!
Bye -JayJay- _(link)

Dear Jenni,
There's really nothing I can do to help you get over him, this is all within your mind and heart. It may be hard to get over someone that leaves you. Do you have his phone number, address, messanger screen name? You can still talk to him through there. But to be completely honest, the only way to get over him is if you let yourself get over him. There's still a part of you holding onto him, and the only way to get completely over him is to let go of these feelings. It's very hard, I know very few, if no one that can ease their pain over someone lost so easily. It may be hard, the most you might get is just to surpress them, but this is all just in your mind and heart. You just have to try to stop thinking of him. I'm sorry there's nothing much I can do.

Hi I'm JayJay and really could use ur advice on how to get some friends, I'm 15 too and live in Kentuckey , sorry if I spelled it wrong, I'm a female, My friends at my school don't respect me enough , so they leave me behind, and don't wait for me and never belive me. What shouls I do??
thanks Bye _(link)

Dear JayJay,
There are several ways to obtain new friends.

OPTION 1
You can join some extracurricular activites that you like after school, like for example my school has Mu Alpha Theta (Math Club), Quill and Scroll (Poetry Club), Spanish Club, etc. I'm sure your school has lots of activites you can do. If you join one, you'll be with lots of people who join the share interest as you (assuming you join a club you're interested in) and you can make friends there.

OPTION 2
Try to introduce yourselves to others. Whenever you see someone you think you could be friends with, just hop on over to him/her and introduce yourself to him/her. Talk about things that interest you and see if you have anything in common. Don't be shy, that's how I made several new friends this school year.

OPTION 3
Sometimes I like to bring something to school that will attract attention of other people (like a stuffed animal!! =) ) Why not bring something that express yourself, and will also get others attention? That will sure strike up a conversation with some people!

I've mentioned only 3 of the infinite number of things you can do, I'm sure you can think of some too. If your friendsa always leave you, and don't show you respect, then they're not worth your time and trouble. Just make new friends by either one of the ways I said above or your own way!

[If this wasn't helpful then just write again.]

well recently two of my friends, to be blunt hate eachother now. i met them about the same time and they where really good friends untill somthing, which i honsetly this was stupid, came up. im still really good friend with them both but its starting to bother me about how sometime one will say something about the othere or if im with them in a group (it rarely happens) how noone will say anything and it becomes no fun to see them anymore.maily what im asking for is help on how to get them to not talk behind the ohers back and well so they can see eachother and atlest act a little happy, i dont care nmore if they become friends but it would be nice if they atlest somewhat talked seeing that they're going to the same sckool next year.
-missy

PS.this actuly has nothing to do with you and what happend to your friend,so please dont accuse me of trying to get you to back together(this is proably something smaller then what happen between you guys i wouldnt really know). ive knows these 2 for a wial and i just wanna be abel to have a conversation with both in the room not graring at eachother. _(link)

Okay.. so I'm gonna reanswer this question since I obviously made a mistake by jumping to conclusions on who these "two friends" were. (Sorry about that, I'm just bitchy about the topic)

Anyway, I don't think you can do much if you don't find out why the two hate eachother. Ask each one personally the *exact* reason why they hate eachother. If it's something the other one did or something, then have both of them explain to eachother the reason for doing what they did. There's nothing much you can do when two other people hate eachother, except just ask why they hate eachother and try to figure out a compromise between the two, since you can't control their feelings or lives.

Oh really? This has nothing to do with myself and (name will not be mentioned)? Wow.. then this is a BIG coincidence! (name) is happening to go to my school next year too!! Wow!! And we just got in a fight too!! Wow!! And I already know who this is.. so please just stop.. and just to make you happy.. I won't be bitchy or mean around (name) just to not let the atmosphere drop to pure depression for everyone else around, because what's done is done and I'm not going to live on that hatred.. ok?

Two of my best friends got into this really big fight and are no longer friends. (Lets call them 1 n 2) 1 said something really hatefull to 2 and 2 got very upset about it. I am worried that 2 may do something to hurt 2's self... I want 1 and 2 to be friends again but what can I do? _(link)

Cliché.. cliché.. cliché.. that's all that this is. This is too familiar. Ha.. ha.. I know I said hateful thing's to "2"... or.. let's just keep her name a secret. But it was kind of in the moment, there was nothing else for me to say except to bitch back. So I don't see me and being friends anytime soon because of the things said. So just don't bother asking this, it's pointless because all I'm going to say is.. "I don't know what you can do"

one of my friends just had a fight with his best friend and i dont know what to do, theyve been best friends for so long and i hate to see him mad, ive gone through this and i dont want it to happen to him to, how can i fix it? _(link)

Well.. maybe you could set the two up somewhere and find a way to get them to get along... or actually.. maybe you could just not do that behind my back because I don't care. I honestly have no problem with breaking off that friendship, it was dying slowly and I think we just pretty muched rushed its demise. So..
1)who is this?
2)don't even try.. because I don't care..
3)I appreciate that you care about me and are trying to put it back together, but I don't want this friendship anymore

So next time, just don't even bother asking ME for advice on my own problem.

some of my good friends go to a different school. recently, one of them met a friend that goes to my school. i'm scared that they'll be best friends and lock me out. What should I do? _(link)

They wouldn't do that to you if they're really your friends. If they make an attempt, then just talk to them.

I'm not very popular at school and kids pick on me. I don't really know why they do it, it's been that way since 1st grade. I'm in 8th grade now and I'm sick of it. I don't know what I did to deserve this. They hurt me emotionally and physically, should I stand up to them?
Respond please, I'm desperate,
Hurt and confused _(link)

That's similar to what I went through. But then I started to fight for myself and people started respecting me more once I showed them that I'm not as weak as they thought I was. Next time they make fun of you, just ignore them. If they keep doing it, then say something back. That's how I earned my respect, by fighting for myself!

MY BF IS MOVING OUT OF STATE AND I LUV HIM SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! I CANT STAND NOT BEING AROUND HIM AND I WAS GOING TO ASK HIM IF HE LUVS ME! WE TELL EACH OTHER WE LUV EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME BUT I DONT KNOW IF HE MEANS IT I AM REALLY SCARED HE IS GOING TO MEET ANOTHER GIRL! I LUV HIM AND HE SAID HE COULD STAY IF HE WANTS BUT HE WOULD HAVE TO STAY WITH HIS UNCLE. BUT HE REALLY WANTS TO GO! I DONT THINK HE CARES ABOUT ME! WHAT SHOULD I DO? _(link)

WHY ARE YOU TYPING IN CALL CAPITALS? IT'S ANNOYING!..

WELL THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. IF YOUR FRIEND IS MOVING AND HAS NO CHOICE THEN THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO DO. YOU CAN'T CHANGE THAT. SO JUST TRY TO STAY IN CONTACT.

my friend is obsessed with a guy 2 years older than her. i know he's not there for her. What should i tell her? _(link)

Age shouldn't matter much in a relationship. But if you really tink it's bad, then just tell her exactly what you said in your question.

i went to camp with this guy and i slowely fell in love with him. i liked him for three years and now we rarely talk anymore. im not sure if i like him in a crush way, i like him more as a brother. i miss us talking. i dont want to go up to him and start randomly talking, i'd look like an idiot.what should i do??? _(link)

Think about it.. looking like an idiot would only last a couple minutes.. but knowing a friendship is still intact lasts a lifetime. So.. talk to him.. why toss a friendship away over embarrasy?

I'm not incredibly popular at school but I do have a best friend who I've known all my life even though she just moved to my school. Now she's making new friends and she even has a boyfriend. I was supposed to go to a pizza place with her and some of the kids in my class but my mom wanted me to come over to her house for the weekend so I didn't go with them. Now I'm worried that since she's made so many new friends, she'll just drop me. Do you think that'll happen?,
CMS _(link)

It depends how good of a friend she is. If she really cares for you she won't ditch you, and if she does.. then forget her, there are other better friends out there for you who won't leave you.

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