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Q: i have a friend shes my mate of 7 yrs online pals then we meet face to face 4 yrs ago our familys meet i just want to know i thought friendship was a 2 way thing were u could say we once were like sisters then in the last 2 yrs shes changed and its allways me ringing to check on her n her family and then she always has excuses when i ring there it hurts like hell as she is the only friend i "trusted" and now i feli like im a used rag can anyone understand and help me do i just let friendship go as i cant handle the hurt its like i get kicked in face all time now please can someone help with advice for me im glosing it and i cant stop crying as it hurts me s much
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You should find out what the problem is. Just ask her straight up why she doesn't call you as often as she used to. Be specific. You can even ask her if she still wants to be friends at all. If she seems uninterested, or like it isn't a big deal to her, then she probably isn't as into the friendship as she was before. If it hurts more being friends with her than not being friends at all, I suggest you move on. If you want, you can tell her that you tried being her friend but she doesn't seem to be returning the favor, so you won't try anymore. Hopefully she'll be honest and tell you whats up. Good luck
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Q: 16/f...my best friend lately has been the cause of many arguments and fights between her, myself, and our other best friend (i'll refer to her as A). however, she doesn't realize this. instead she explains to me that, i don't ever stand up for myself and say anything to A.
for example, we have been off from school this whole past week, and it was suggested that we go to the mall on thursday, which i didn't know about (i had thought they suggested friday). so yesterday evening i go online, and my best friend is online (not A) and seems in a really bad mood when i start talking to her. she explains to me that A didn't call or text her all day about hanging out and never follows through with her plans and is mad. at first when A IMs her, my other friend does not respond to her. when she does, she mentions something about how she thought we were going to go to the mall. (A had actually gone to the mall with her sister)
so A is just like oh, whatever. which my other friend interprets as bitchy and starts going off on a rant (meanwhile, A is telling everything she is saying to me) and my other best friend is telling what A is saying to me also. so i'm stuck in the middle. which usually always happens.
apparently A must've exaggerated when telling the stuff my other friend said to me (and my other friend tells me later) so i said to my other best friend something like. omg this is so stupid, i don't want to get in a fight. (because i knew how my best friend gets, she's really like stubborn and defensive kinda, and won't give up until she gets her point across)
well then she like got all weird with me, and signed off, and i didn't speak to her until earlier today. i IMed her first, hoping she'd forgot what happened or got over it since it wasn't a big deal in the first place (that is what i thought anyway) and she was like, what are you just going to pretend like nothing happened? and since she always says i don't stand up for myself, i had to defend myself, and we got into this whole like debate. basically she is mad at me because i talked behind both her and A's back. which i didn't. all of us were exchanging to each other what they were telling each other. and she says it was alright because she actually tells A what she says behind her back. which may be true like 50% of the time, but still.
i have talked about her behind her back, but i'm sure they do the same about me. i'd rather not say anything, then do say something and risk my friendship with both of them. the 3 of us have been best friends since like elementary school. they're like sisters to me practically, and i can be my complete self with them. i don't know where i would be without them. but i don't understand why the one has to be so... aggressive or something. there's a difference between speaking your mind to get a point across and speaking your mind but in a process hurting other's feelings/starting fights. and then she said she was mad at me for accusing her of starting a fight. yet she accused ME of talking behind her back?
i'm just confused. was it wrong for me to "talk behind her back"? that is a very hypocritical statement for her to say. if i continue to talk to her about this, i know i won't win, and the only way to end the fight is to probably just say i'm sorry, or just not speak to her until i see her in school. but i don't even know what i'd be apologizing for. what should i do? i have the IM conversation, if this was hard to understand, give me your email or something and i will send it to you. it would probably make more sense. thank you for reading all of this if you did. sorry it was so long. thank you in advance!
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I had the exact same problem with one of my friends. I had been best friends with a girl for almost my entire life, but she was a very manipulative person, just like A seems to be. My advice is that you first appologize for talking behind their backs and admit that we all make mistakes sometimes. You should try to litterally stop doing that right now to prevent future problems. Next, I think you should tell A that you don't appreciate her dragging you into her problems, because you always end up in the middle of it, which isn't fair. But to tell you the truth, people like her never really change, and I know it seems impossible at first, but I suggest you stop being friends with her. You don't need someone like that who is always starting problems and causing you misery. It may take a while, for me it took years, but you have to distance yourself from her. When you look back, you'll realize that type of relationship was unhealthy, and that you really didn't need her. Hope I helped, and good luck.
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Q: ok so i am in the 2nd semester of my freshmen year in high school... i Right now i am very shy and am not making too many new friends i think it might be because i dont feel comfortable with my appearance so i am looking foward to sophmore year because inevitably there will be new kids who dont know me in my classes.. i want to reinvent myself and lokk really good next year and be more outgoing. i am afraid that no one will be willing to see me differently Do you think that reinventing myself will work or peoples opinions are set in stone?
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I believe that a new year is a fresh start. In fact, no matter where you go, you'll always meet at least some people who you've never seen before. If you want to reinvent yourself, go right ahead and do it. As long as what you're doing makes you happy, that's all that matters. Although it may be hard to convince some people that you've changed, as long as you're happy with yourself, you shouldn't really care what they think of you. Just let go, and this will help you be less shy as well. If they don't like you, oh well. There will always be someone who likes you for you. You just have to find those kinds of people. However, don't do anything too drastic at first because many people already like who you are, and you don't want them to think that you're completely different from the person they knew and loved. Just ease into it, and before you know it, you'll become the person you always wanted to be. It takes time and persistance. Good luck!
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Q: so i sometimes talk alot but in classes i dont talk that much at all.. and when i am around friends it is like i run out of things to say? i have met some new people but i dont really talk to them so they think im quiet, what are some things i could talk about and what are some tips on being more outgoing?
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There's a few things you can do to be more outgoing. The best thing to do is don't stress about it! If you spend all your time worrying about what's the perfect thing to say, you'll find that it's harder thinking of something to talk about. Just say whatever's on your mind (as long as it isn't hurtful) and be open. Also, try to feel happy on the inside because people will see you as being positive and more approachable and they'll want to talk to you. Be really nice and try to say at least one thing to your friends everyday. Just don't worry about what to say. The best thing to do is observe what's going on around you. You'll be surprised at how many things you notice around the room if you just pay attention. Just make comments about whatever you see. Good luck
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Q: alright, well, this doesn't happen all the time, but every now and then with certain people.
i'm not one of those all of the time attention cravers, but i hate being ignored. who doesn't?
well sometimes whenever there's a certain person hanging out with me and someone else, i tend to get the boot and sort of not get talked to. like tonight, i mean we were all hanging out and laughing and then during the end of it i was just sort of sitting there, and nobody talked to me until like after 5 minutes when they noticed i wasn't saying anything.
so basically, i have to be quiet to talk to people.
-.-
anyways.
what would you do if you were me, so you would get ignored less? i just want to learn how to grasp and keep my friends attention, if that's what you want to call it, and i want to be able to talk to other people i don't know and make it less awkward and become their friend.
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listen up. being quiet is not the way to get people to talk to you more. people want someone they can relate to. just say whatever's on your mind (just think before you say it).its important to express your opinions, no matter what they are. if you make mistakes, don't worry: it shows everyone that you're human, people makes mistakes. most importantly, just be yourself, no matter what. if you see that you're becoming less included in the conversation, include yourself! the more you talk, the more they'll want to talk to you. pretty soon they'll get to see your true personality, and they'll like being around you. if you're quiet all the time, how can they see who you truly are? hope i helped.
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Q: hey...ok well my b/f broke up w/ me a couple months ago b/c we live too far away. i totally kinda agree with it cause it was hard to keep a relationship going. plus his internet at his house doesn't work so he's hardly ever on to IM unless he's at a friend's house. well now i have a uh...HUGE problem! his best friend. well see his name's Kyle and he is like my bestest bestest love him to death guy friend, even if he is far away. (him and my ex live in the same 4 1/2 hour away place) well i talk to Kyle all the time, and we talk for a long time he's on to IM a lot, and so am i. we're going to also meet at a winter event for our youth groups for the weekend. well, to my problem: i like Kyle. and i mean i really like kyle. i have a feeling he likes me too, but he's smart and knows how his best friend and me's relationship worked out b/c of the distance. i wish we lived closer and so i could see him so much more, also...i wish he wasnt my ex b/f's best friend. 1. he wouldnt want to hurt his friend 2. i wouldnt want him to get in a fight w/ his friend.
HHHHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!! pLz! thanx sry its long! xOxOx
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Ok, not to be mean or anything, but I don't really think it's going to work. After all, you broke up with your boyfriend because of the distance, right? So how is this any different? You guys may talk on im, bye it's not the same as seeing eachother in person. And plus, think about your ex. He'll be so mad! So don't go out with him. You guys could just be really really close. Do what I do: you know you guys both like eachother, so just act like you're going out, but don't make it official. It works. So I hope I helped ya.
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Q: every year our school's 7th graders throw a formal dance for the 8th graders. i am totally against going because i hate dresses and can't dance. all of my friends that were totally against it are suddenly going and renting a limo and everything. they are even having a sleepover and a whole day to get ready for it. i don't want to go but they are pressuring me so much to go. what should i do??? the guy i really like will be there but i am 100% against stuff like this. should i give in? can you give me some tips on how to stay strong under pressure?? thanks...i'll rate high!
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Hi. Ok, I think you should just listen to your heart, instead of what they want you to do. If you really don't want to go, tell them you don't. Try to explain it to them. If they're good friends, they'll understand. If you have the slightest doubt in your mind that you really shouldn't go, then don't. But on the other hand, taking chances makes life interesting. Who knows what might happen. Something good might happen with you and your crush, and you'll be glad you went. To stay strong, my best advice is to just be yourself, completetly. No matter what. You can never go wrong with being yourself, no matter how weird or normal you are. People would respect you more. Also, don't take it so seriously. Just focus on having a good time. Don't think about your flaws or your mistakes. The only person that'll be spending so much time thinking about it is you. Everyone else is there for the same reason: to have fun. So just be yourself, and you'll be ok. :)
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Q: okay so im best friends with this girl. we always get into really stupid fights and stuff and she ALWAYS talks about me behind my back, or even when im looking straight at her. tons of people in the school hate her and always ask me why im best friends with her. she also treats me like crap, uses me, and walks all over me...everybody tells me that. except for some reason i keep making plans with her. ive never really said anything bad about her, except when we got in this huge fight last week. i was talking with her on the phone with her boy-toy (this guy who shes obsessed with whos just usuing her) and then i say brb and i set down the phone and when i come back i hear her saying to him "omg shes so annoying she acts like 2 different people like when shes with me shes like omg i love you bff and then when shes around the popular people shes like eww i hate you" (and ive never done that...and its not like theyre the popular people we're really good friends) and then i confronted her about it the next day and she denied it, then i told one of my good friends (who hates her) the whole story, so she bitched her out for me...then she comes like storming into our class and tries to bitch ME out...and we made this huge scene so then we didnt talk for 2 days and everyones like to me good job she treated u like shit dont make up with her (even tho when we get in fights like we make up the next day) so then she called me like the night after our fight (it lasted a few days) and she was sobbing and like asking for forgiveness so im like ill think about it...then she was talking shit about me more the next day and i was just watching her and she knew i was watching so it pissed me off..so we kinda made up but we dont talk anymore..should i just forget her completely or start hanging with her again?
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Forget her! She really doesn't seem like a good friend. What kind of person acts like your best friend, and then talks about you behind your back?! Maybe she's taking advantage of your friendship because she thinks you'll always be there. Well you can't keep giving her second chances. You don't need a person like that in your life, because she's only going to mess you up. Just forget about her, and maybe she'll move on. She doens't seem like a good friend to me at all. Hope I helped.
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Q: Well I have two "friends" and i known them my whole life, we even went to church togather but now it seems like there not my best friends any more because when they get around certin people they start acting like the other people but I stay the same and now we don't talk as much. But sometimes when my friend octavia is around me she starts to talk about my other friend ashely and when ashely comes around shes acts like she didn't say nothing her and when they get togather they leave me out what should I do?
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ok, well they obviously got sum issues to work out. Anyway, u shudnt get between them. If they wanna talk behind eachothers back, wateva. However, if they keep leavin u out, it cud mean that they're moving on. I know they say *friends are forever*, but sumtimes people change. Its not yur fault. U jus have to find out wats goin on. If they keep leavin u out, maybe its a sign u shud move on too.
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Q: Hi my name is Jess i have this really really close guy friend who has been my friend since 1st grade now he has a g/f and i dont like him but for some reason i feel jealous. Could anyone tell me y im jealous?
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yur probably jealous becuz u miss all the attention he wuz giving u. Although u dont like him, u still miss him and yur not used to him paying more attention to any other girl
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Q: My best friend and I have known each other for a few years. Since we started high school, however, she has become really needy. She will "like" a guy but she won't do anything about it..then she'll blame them for not asking her out. It becomes the focus of her life and she gets really depressed if the guy doesn't 'pay her enough attention'. I've tried telling her that guys aren't the only thing in life and that her friends love her, etc..but she wont believe it and just uses it to show how 'unloved' and 'unlistened to' she is. What do I do? I don't want to end the friendship, but I'm tired of feeling used.
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sit her down and have a talk wit her. Tell her its NoT the guys fault, becuz they dont always make the first move. If she doesnt do anything, how will they even know she likes them? And yes, continue telling her that there are much better things in life then boys...like yur friends. U'll eventually lose interest in a boy, but friends are forever. And tell her nicely that u wish she'd stop moping around feeling sorry for herself, and actually get up and go do sumthin about it! Hope i helped ya!
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Q: my two best friends never met eachother until i introduced them .. know they r leavin me out .. nd i told them how i felt nd noe they r doing it behind my back.. give advice plz
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tell them thats mad wrong for them to do that. They wudnt have even known eachother if it wasnt for u! Tell them u KnOw they've been hangin out behind yur bak, and they shudnt be doin that. Nuthins worse then friends who lie to eachother! And if they dont listen to u, they're NoT true friends. U dont need them! Hope my advice rocked!
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Q: my bestfriends mom is kinda phyco and when i went to my friends house her mom lik yelled at me and i told ma parents and now i cant go to her house n e more....what do i do????
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tell yur mom that u were jus overreacting. Tell her u HaVe to see yur best friend again cuz she's......well, yur best friend! Or instead, invite her over to YuR house, so that u wont have to deal wit her motha again.
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Q: I really like this boy, and i think he likes me cuz he flirts alot with me. I kissed him a few times b4. And i have this friend. she's my best friend, but sumtimes it seems liek she's tryin to mess it up 4 me & the boy. All my friends that knew her longer then i did say not to trust her, but i dont know. But jus the otha day, she tol me that everything the boy sed to me wuz a lie! i thought that wuz impossible, but then again, she's my best friend! Why wud she do that to me? There has to B sum logical explanation for this. Who betrayed me?? PLEASE DONT DELETE THIS!!!!! I really need help, this has been bugging me for WEEKS!!!!! thanx
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he probably does like u, and i'm not sure who's the one that betrayed u. But it seems like u shud really be more careful about yur frined. Other people have warned u about her, but u chose to judge her on yur own. Yur rite, everything CoUlDnT have been a lie. I think u shud talk to the boy about all this. Put him on the spot, and see wat he has to say
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Q: Omg ok my friend Christing is saying stuff about my friend Chantal being mad at her for no reason which is a lie because she talks about Chantal behind her back and then again I don't understand why what should I tell my friend cuz it's pissing me off the fact she talks about Chantal that way??
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Tell her that she needs to stop hating on chantel. Tell her wat goes around cums around, so as much as she talks about chantel behind her bak, sumone is talkin about her the same way. Tell her chantel is yur friend, and u dont like hearing people talk about her. Say she needs to stop, and say that if she were a true friend then she wud respect wat u say.
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Q: My friend has been going out with this immature guy for like 7 months now. He is soo rude to her like not returning phone calls, making fun of her friends (like me for instance), blowing her off for his friends. I was open with her telling her how i felt about him, but she didn't care at first. Now she's thinking about dumping him, but she just doesn't have the heart to.
Any advice on what she should do? I rate high! thanks in advanced.
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U shud tell her "as a friend, i'm telling u that shud break up wit him. PLease listen to me." This way, it wont seem like yur attacking her with it, but that yur just looking out for her. Tell her that she deserves much better, and that she shudnt waist her time on sumone as rude as him. But then again, they HAVE been dating for 7 months. They cud be meant for eachother, and u dont wanna ruin it. So u mite wanna let her decide. Sure, u can give her yur advice, but frum then on its all her. If she really luvs him, then u u shud let her be happy, even if it means hurting u. Thats wat friends are for.
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Q: I this freind and we have been friends 4 years and just this past summer she has been always hanging with her other friend and just leaving me behind.
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I know wat u mean. She's obviously not worthy of yur friendship if she keeps ditching you. Be straight up. Ask her does she wanna be friends or not, becuz she always leaves u behind. If not, u dont really need her. Keep in mind that people change. She could be moving on to new people. It doesnt mean that she forgot about u, it jus means that she wants to experiment with sumone else for a change.
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Q: i need help. i like my best friend. and im not sure if he likes me. and i really like him. he says if we go out it could ruin our relationship. but hes went out with almost all of his best friends.i want his so bad. i havnt had a boyfriend for a long time, and this could be my chance PLEASE DONT DELETE I NEED HELP IM SO CONFUSED!
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He's actually right. If u guys do go out, it probably would ruin yur relationship becuz what happens wen u break up? Despite wat u say, u wont be as close with eachother as u used to be. It's okay to be really close and sometimes act like u guys are going out. That way, u'll be with him, but he'll still have the freedom of being with who he wants. Just make sure he's ok with this. U dont have to ask him, but if he goes along with it, you'll know. This strategy is perfect becuz u guys will still be friends, and no two people are closer then good friends. Keep that in mind.
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bio
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Hello everyone. I'm a college student who loves giving advice and helping people work out their problems. I'll always give an honest answer. I have had many life experiences both good and bad, and they will give me insight into how to answer your question. Feel free to contact me anytime and I will do my best to lift your spirits!
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Info
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Gender: Female Location: Florida Age: 20 Member Since: August 16, 2004 Answers: 84 Last Update: June 14, 2012 Visitors: 7254
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