I don't think you can, but if you act like it and learn how to fake it well that'll be a very good start. Walk fast like you know where you're going, talk loud like you know what you're saying, that sort of thing.

Ever since the Bible has written, people have found evidence that the world will end in the next few years. So far (obviously) none of them were correct. If you keep digging, you'll find more "biblical based" books that called for the end of the world in 2000, 1994, 1983... it doesn't really matter, does it? The fact is that no one will know the day or the hour, and there is additional evidence to support the idea that the second coming of Christ already happened as described in Acts and we are living in what should be the kingdom of heaven now, He is among us and the world is set up according to God's rules and there's no major end of the world coming in 2012 or any other year, unless we do it to ourselves.

You shouldn't have gotten married without talking and agreeing on this issue beforehand, but now that you're here, you need to find a church for you. Visit different churches. Talk to him about what's important for him in a church. Decide things that you can't accept in a church, and tell him about that list. For example, I know there are churches that think only their denomination is going to heaven, and I can't accept that, I won't go to a church that believes that. I also won't attend a church that mistreats minorities, treats women like second class citizens, or doesn't offer sunday school for kids. There are a million little things you can look at with churches but focus on the important ones. Then ask him to list the same things. Don't say, "It has to be lutheran!" or anything like that, really write down your most important spiritual beliefs, then find a church that meets those. Then think about kids. Do not even think about having kids unless you can agree on a church.

I think your husband is pretty close minded. God cares what's in your heart, not what you do at church. Being baptized doesn't save you, it's a ritual, a motion, a physical thing. Sure, these things can by symbolic and bring us closer to God, but they're not what really matters in the long one. You should ask him the point of baptism and why it matters so much... in my church, it's basically a naming ceremony where the people around you promise to help you follow God, and it can be done to infants or adults, it doesn't matter. Later on when you make a conscious decision to join the church and follow God that's called Confirmation, and some churches think that's when baptism should happen but seriously, who cares? We're talking about logistics.

So ask your husband why this is such a big deal. If he's got a good argument and you agree with him, get baptized! Or sit down with your pastor and ask him to help you work it out. Either way, don't let him refuse to accept you or say you're not as good a Christian because of the baptism issue, it's not the most important thing.

It really doesn't matter. People make mountains out of molehills when it comes to this subject.

A long time ago the catholic church was the only one. The belief was that it was God's church, and there should be only one. Eventually, some people thought they should be able to question the church, take more personal responsibility for salvation, that sort of thing, and those people ended up splitting off and starting their own churches.

Baptism of infants is just a family's way of telling God, "here's our baby, we're going to do our best to raise it like you'd want us to." It doesn't mean anything about your personal decision to follow God, that has to come later.

Don't let people tell you that you're wrong or less Christian because you're not a baptist, or not a lutheran, or not a catholic, or whatever. They don't know what's in your heart. The important think is that you know, and you find a church that agrees with it. Visit different ones. Find one where the church leaders discuss issues that are important to you, where there are helpful classes, where you make friends. Read your Bible, read some other books, the decide what's right. Don't let people on this website tell you.

Marriage is an earthly thing. We're made to want to be married, for companionship, to have kids, whatever, but none of those reasons exist in heaven. It's a place of love, where you're surrounded by the love of God and everyone else, and the love of a spouse isn't even noticable when compared to the love of God. It's tough to think that something that mattered so much here on earth won't be a big deal in heaven, and of course your ability to love on earth shapes your beginnings in heaven, but it's not about who you're with there.

Everyone has times like this, don't feel bad. Death is scary. Even if you are a devout Christian, death means a huge change, and we're all afraid of change. You're like a new baby, screaming because you've just been born... we all know the baby is about to be wrapped in a warm blanket, fed and taken care of and loved by parents and grandparents and whoever else, but SHE doesn't know that and there's no way for her to understand what's in store, all she knows is that she was perfectly comfortable before all this birth stuff happened.

By the way, I just read a really fantastic book called The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis, about the afterlife. You should check it out. You can read it in an afternoon and I think every Christian should read it, it's got lots of answers.

Christmas has evolved into a society holiday. Christians are really good at shoving their ideas at everybody, and when ideas are forced at you, well, that's what happens... people take what they like about them and blow off what they don't. The same thing would happen if we forced kids in school to pray, they'd get used to saying the words but never really believe, because really believing takes more than just exposure.

So, it was so important to Christians that everyone celebrate Christmas and we get work off and everything that they made sure they got their way without thinking about the consequences. And now, here we are... Christmas has been corrupted by the retail industry and 90% of the people who celebrate it are missing out on its more important aspect. Sad, but true.

You're not the first person to struggle with this question, don't worry, you're not so alone as you feel.

Here's what I know: you should not believe in God just to get into heaven. trust me, plenty of big churches will tell you otherwise, they basically act like that's the point of everything, but I disagree. I think journeys, like the one you're on now, are the point of everything. Religion is a gift to make us bigger than ourselves. Anyone who tries to make it less is getting just that: less.

If God loves you like us Christians say He does, he won't send you to hell for questioning, anyway. We all do it, it's the way we're made, and it's definitely the way you're made. It's okay to be frustrated about it, cry about it, get mad about it... the important thing is that you continue on your journey and appreciate the mind you've been given that wants to look beyond what everybody's trying to feed you.

My advice is to read... read the New Testament, C.S Lewis, Marcus Borg, and give yourself time to think and decide what's really calling you. Don't act out of fear of going to hell, act out of love for God or the world or being true to yourself. Then you'll really have faith that's part of you, not something forced. that goes for either side, too, remember atheism takes faith, sometimes more than Christianity, because it's hard to really know what's going on here.

Just go into it with your lines set and you'll be fine. Decide right now that you will be a Christian, stay off drugs, never smoke, and if you're tough (and it sounds like you are) you'll be able to stick with it. Maybe you can even talk to him about why he does those things... and who knows, maybe he's not as bad as you've heard, reputations aren't always true.

As long as you know who you are and are tough enough to walk away when you're truly tempted to do something against that, you can go out of your comfortable little world and meet people who might not all be Christian and get to know them better, it's okay, it's good for you.

1 Corinthians (please spell books of the bible correctly) also names adulterers as not being able to inherit the kingdom of God. Do we forbid them from getting married? I think not.

Christian's fight against homosexuals is incredibly hypocritical and useless. God wants servants, not advisors. We're using our own desire to resist change to exclude a large group of people from the basic human right to be married. And why? Because the Bible forbids it in seven places? The Bible speaks out against the love of money almost 600 times and nobody ever tries to outlaw being rich or move their kids into a neighborhood that's not so darn wealthy. Homosexuality is unnatural? So's air conditioning.

God calls us to love the least of society - the downtrodden, the disrespected, the persecuted. To me, that means homosexuals. Every generation has to deal with a group that doesn't fit in. We will be judged in heaven by our actions for or against these groups.

Catholicism is just another branch of Christianity. They don't have very many different beliefs. Their church has some structural differences from others... their head is a pope in rome who takes leadership for life, where most other churches elect leaders every few years. They don't believe in birth control. They believe you should confess your sins to priests and that church leaders should not be married.

But those are really just little details, what matters is that, Catholics believe that Jesus is the son of God and he rose from the dead to make a place for us in heaven. That's all you have to believe to be a Christian.

The Catholic church was the first church, so in the 1500s when some people decided to form new churches, these were sort of grouped together as "protestant" and the Catholic church remained "Catholic"... it was the "not new" one. People like to act like Catholics are really different, but they're not. All Christian churches are a little bit different, but we all believe in the same basic idea, so we're all Christians.

I don't think you should pick a religion based on which one tells you what you want to hear. Religion is based on truth, not how you "feel". Before you decide to be pagan forever, I'd suggest investigating religions more and find the one that has the most concrete proof to back it up. It might not be the one that agrees with all your attitudes, but sometimes religions change us.

You need to look at new churches. A church that would excommunicate you isn't one that you should be attending anyway. The Bible calls us to love sinners, not excommunicate them. Jesus never kicked out a diciple for straying off the path, did he? He even forgave Judas, for heaven's sake.

Shrug it off. It'll be tough, but this church is not right for anybody, you included.

God's Word tells us to love one another and be very careful not to be pios and judgemental. There are a couple references in there about sexuality too, but I think if we make these our priorities we're really out of whack. The homosexuality issue really strikes a chord with me because so many Christians think homosexuals should be treated like second-class citizens because they're "sinners" or whatever. Since when does being a sinner make you unworthy of love and freedom?

I think we have to live our lives and focus on what's really important. There are a thousand little things the Bible talks about that we don't consider... do you eat shellfish? have you ever yanked out your eye because you found yourself looking at something sinful? We can't comb the Bible for little references to judge people with all the time.

Why do you think God tells us not to commit adultry? Because He's bored? No, it's because He knows that self-respecting people don't sleep around with everyone... taking care of your body means having the confidence to know that it's really worth something, and you are too good for that guy who just wants you for sex. I'm saying the same things you are, I'm just more direct about it.

I don't know, I haven't talked to any Catholics about Wiccas. I think you're asking me to stereotype them here, say that they're all cruel and judgemental. But to do that I'd feel obligated to also stereotype Wiccas as being hyper-sensitive and over-dramatic. I think stereotypes are wrong so I'm not going to say any of that.

I'm not 100% sure what you mean, but religion is a real thing, and a good thing, when the fear comes from within. When it's used by a government to control people that's a big problem. People should have free will to decide if they want to be religious or not, otherwise there's no point.

You can't really just pick one, you have to just start going to all of them. Don't stop until you find the right one. I just looked in the phone book and found churches close to where I lived and called them to ask about service times. When I attended a service, I got to see what programs they offered for what groups (if you're a youth and there's no youth group, it's probably the wrong church), how many people attended, if the people even talked to me, core beliefs all that stuff. You have to go with what feels right, and that'll probably involve a few months of trial and error.

I've been in the advice column over five years now so I think I've pretty much heard it all... the love, the hate, the random insanity. I don't take it too seriously, so I'm not always giving the best advice, but my column is fun to read!

I am a 23 year old electrical engineer, a feminist, a Christian. I don't know everything but I can sure pretend to.

Disclaimer: Now that I'm on advicenators I'm getting even more questions every day. It's fast and easy for me to answer them, yes, so at least I'm answering something now, but if your question contains the words "there's this guy that I like..." chances are I won't get around to it. I'm only answering interesting questions that I haven't answered before. Register at the site and ask everyone for advice if you must have an answer, because if people read my column and boring love advice was all they found, they'd never come back.

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