I live in Central Wisconsin. I am married and we have two daughters. In 1997 I earned my degree in psychology from the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point. In my spare time I study psychology and philosophy.
Gender: Male
Location: Stevens Point, WI
Occupation: Phlebotomy Coordinator (Clinical Laboratory)
Age: 35
Member Since: October 19, 2005
Answers: 118
Last Update: January 24, 2010
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This experience is new to me, therefore the reason I feel creeped out. I've been living in my current house (With my parents, I'm 16) for about a year and a half. When we moved in, I found out about the history of the house, seeing as it is renovated, it still has the original flooring on the first floor, original walls...and interesting characters that lived here. Regardless to the details of the previous inhabitants, this house has a feeling to it.
Recently, more specifically in my room and the hallway beside my room have been...well, excuse my French, but f**cking eerie. That is the best word I can come up with, maybe supernatural is better? Either way, my cat behaves weirdly in the hallway outside my room. He'll just hiss, whilst obviously staring at something in the air, which, apparently I am oblivious to. Okay, that I can handle. In my room, where three inhabitants have killed themselves, I get cold feelings. You may think I'm paranoid, and I was pretty sure I was myself, it seems near impossible now. It's not like I'm constantly thinking about it, I'll be sitting here, on my laptop, not thinking about this paranormal issue, with my window and door closed, and suddenly it'll be freezing. Few seconds later, it'll be back to normal. And no, I don't have some medical condition that gives me the shivers or whatnot.
Also, I see some strange lights, flashes. I don't know how to define it. Just the other day, I was lying on my bed, reading a book, home alone, so no sibling disturbance, and I just see a flash pass my eyes. It wasn't the street lights, or any cars. It was in broad daylight and so far, I have yet to come across something that could've caused this. Prior to last week, I've experienced this flashy encounter about four more times.
I'll just remind you that I'm not thinking about these occurrences. They are rarely on my mind, only after some thing's happened. I'm not exactly spiritual, but I do believe there's something out there. I'm not religious either.
I guess the worst part is the creaky floorboard happenings. At one part of my room, there is a floorboard or two that creak when you step on them. Directly, if you stand next to them, the floor doesn't make a sound. There have been countless times that the boards have creaked, in manner of somebody walking across them, but naturally, I'll be in the room alone. This is just disturbing at the moment of action, after that I just forget about it.
My dad admitted that he's had a few weird feelings in this house as well, thinking they are paranormal, but I did not know this until about a month ago when I asked him about his opinion on the house.
My main question is, and I just realized how long my introduction was, please accept my apologies, what do you think is going on?
Anything I should try or do?
Any specific reason why my cat would hiss at empty spaces, in one particular area of my house?
Whatever you have to say or propose, feel free, I'm not going give harsh ratings because I disagree. I'm open to anything :) (link)
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My mother in law and wife see ghosts. Having read your question, their advice is:
You have a ghost in your house. This ghost is someone who has died but for whatever reason refuses to "cross over" to the "other side". Likely the ghost doesn't realize he/she is dead. The best thing you can do the next time you sense it's presence is to kindly (KINDLY, GENTLY)inform it that it is dead and should cross over to the other side to be with its loved ones. You might have to do this a few times. Do not be afraid. The ghost isn't able to hurt you--he/she is just lost and needs directions.
If this doesn't work, tell the ghost to go to a funeral. The white light that leads to the other side is always present at funerals and at the scene of any death.
Dr. Chad
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I have been really scared after the recent Mumbai Attacks where the terrorists gunned down everyone in sight. I just want to know does it hurt if you are shot at? What does it feel like?
18/F (link)
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When you are severely injured, you go into shock. Pain is dampened. You are aware of pain and injury, and terrified, but also flooded with adrenaline and sharply focused on survival. The trauma of the gunshot wound is secondary to your awareness of your environment. You remain conscious, but you won't feel like you're in conscious control of your actions. You survival instinct will dictate your immediate response, be it to seek shelter or help or administer first aid to yourself.
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16/f
Okay I get nervous very easily, and when I give reports in school my hands start to shake and I talk really fast. What I'm asking is there anyway to improve my nerves? I really need to because the career I went to pursue (lawyer) requires a lot of talking, and I can't be doing that in court lol, very unprofessional! Help! (link)
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Warning: the following statement is a cliche:
Everyone is nervous about speaking in front of others.
Okay, now for the TRUTH, from someone who has lived it: When you have experience talking in front of people, and when you are CONFIDENT and KNOW you subject matter, it's MUCH easier to talk in front of people, because you speak with AUTHORITY, and authority is king in the public forum.
So, the ugly, icky solution to your problem is, unfortunately: You need to seek out opportunities to speak in front of people! It isn't just a matter of getting comfortable with the uncomfortable: the real gift is when you find your "voice", and speak through that voice when you are speaking publicly. That voice is a reflection of your confidence, which springs from your mastery of the subject. So, the first step is to master the subject, and the second step is to practice expounding on that subject. Speak publicly whenever you can. It's a habit like anything else.
Dr. Chad
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okay i am 14/f in case it matters
okay well you see, my cousins from arizona came up for christmas and new years to visit us. one is 16 and the other is 22. well they came up and they were staying at my grandmas hosue. well i wanted to hang out with them so i figured id spend the night (by the way both of my cousins are guys). anyways so i got there and my grandparents werent there. my cousins said that they went to dinner 2 hours away at some really fancy returaunt. well, they took me upstairs and they told me to sit ont the bed. they started kissing me and slowy putting their hands down my pants and up my shirt. since i had never had a real boyfriend befor they told me that they were only showing me what to expect when i had one. so thye kept doing all this stuff to me and made me do some weird stuff to them and practically forced me to have sex with them.
i know its wrong and that i should tell someone one but what wiill people say when i tell them i had sex with my cousins? please help me idont know what to do =(
♥ ~*me*~ ♥ (link)
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Children are sexually assaulted more often than most people realize, and most often they are assaulted by a family member.
What happened to you is not uncommon. One of the reasons it happens so much is because the victims keep quiet, and the abuser goes unpunished. If they get away with it this time, what's to stop them from doing it to some other girl?
Fortunately, in recent years, victims have been speaking up about their abuse, and the abusers have been stopped in their tracks. Even if you and your parents decide to "keep it in the family" and not contact the police, your cousins will still receive the scorn of their family for their criminal behavior. That alone might be enough to deter them from trying it again.
If you keep quiet and your cousins get away clean, this assault will be the beginning of a pattern for them. Next time they will force a girlfriend to have sex. Maybe after that it will be a girl on a first date, or just someone they picked up at a party. Eventually they could be arrested for rape and thrown in jail. If you speak up, you can stop this before the pattern develops.
Most of the other Advicenators have given you the same good advice. I hope you tell somebody. It's the right thing to do.
Dr. Chad
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I am a once athiest who has now become agnostic and what I want to know is :
Why do you or why do you not believe in god?
Why should he/she/it be praised?
Why should I believe or not believe in god? (link)
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After a great deal of inquiry and consideration, I chose to be an atheist. I can find no direct evidence of God, and I find the whole phenomenon of belief to be a normal psychological function. We find that we need to believe something, and the world religions have made it easy for us. I find it much more challenging, intellectually, to be an atheist because the world is inconcievably complex, and trying to make sense of it without resorting to "supernatural" explanations is a challenge, albeit an exciting and rewarding one. You will find that there is much in our experience that we can explain without resorting to a god, and what we can't explain yet only provides us with more food for thought. Free inquiry is golden.
Dr. Chad
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I am Catholic..but I very interested in finding out about different religions..is that weird? hah
My question is: How many sects (right word?) does the Protestant church branch out to? (ex: Baptist, Methodist, Lutherans, etc..) How are their beliefs different from the other Protestant sects..(ex: How are Baptists different from Presbyterians?..etc) How are they all different from the Catholic Church?
Thanks so much! (link)
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My advice is simple and invaluable: All the answers to your questions (plus much, much more) can be found at www.beliefnet.com.
You're welcome.
Dr. Chad
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I am completely confused about what I am. In regards to religion. I know i am christian, but I know nothing about it. I have never read the bible..and I know that most of the stuff in it I don't truly believe. And does God look down upon me for choosing not to believe parts of the bible? (link)
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Go to: www.beliefnet.com
If you know nothing about Christianity, then you cannot call yourself a Christian. However, if you are familiar enough with Bible stories to know you don't believe most of them, then you cannot say you know NOTHING about Christianity. Perhaps you are confused about religion because you believe you must be SOME kind of Christian to avoid eternal damnation. That's what they want you to believe. Truth is, if you don't believe the stories in the bible, and if you don't know enough about Christianity to call yourself a Christian, then it doesn't make sense to worry about what some "god" may "think" about you. My advice is for you to use the internet to learn about different beliefs, and find one that suits you. An AWESOME site to try is www.beliefnet.com. Good luck to you, and be thankful you live in a country that protects religious freedom, including the freedom to reject religion altogether.
Dr. Chad
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Ok. I have a friend who is agnostic, and she says that she is happy. But I believe she would be happier. I want to introduce god to her, but I dont know how I can. It feels like part of the reason I came across advicenators for the first time, was to plase god by introducing my friend to him. I have heard it is nearly impossible to change someone, even if you know its a good change. Two of my brothers friends converted my brother. He used to be agnostic, but now he has his christian group of friends, he goes to a christian college, and he wants to work at a church this summer. I dont know how his friends converted him. I want to do the same. what should i do? (link)
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In all likelihood, your brother's friends didn't convert him--he changed on his own. What they might have done was expose him to a positive Christian environment, such as Christian youth gatherings.
If you want your friend to have the same opportunity, invite her along to a church-sponsored event. Don't try to get her to come to church quite yet. She'll be suspicious and defensive. If she meets people at a youth church gathering and makes friends, she may become interested on her own and eventually choose to follow God. That is the most you can do for her.
If she resists accompanying you to such a gathering, promise her you two will leave if she is uncomfortable. Make no attempt at any point to persuade her that religion will make her happier. Any attempt to convert her will be met with resentment and rejection. She has to find her own path.
Dr. Chad
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Is it ok for christans to masterbate? I want to know befor I start. Thanks. (link)
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You've already been masturbating, haven't you?
Orthodox Catholics would say no, for the same reaason they believe contraception is wrong: The only reason for ejaculation is to conceive a child. If you're doing it for pleasure, it's a sin.
Protestants probably have wide-ranging views in this matter, as they do in many matters. If you aren't Catholic, you need to re-submit your question and indicate what brand of Protestantism you subscribe to.
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Okay. Long story short. I have religious Mormon friend. Religious as in very, very religious. Anyhow, we got into a discussion tonight at "impure thoughts" He seems to think it's a "selfish want" to think impurely about others. I said that it's impossible to be rid of them, that by repressing it them you are not getting rid of them, just concealing them and they will just build up. I said that what you need to do is deal with them and get them out of your system.
Now I feel really bad about the things I said. I guess it's because I should respect the fact he's pure rather than encourage him not to be. lol. I feel bad for him as I feel he is a little misguided and placing unnecessary restraints on himself. Does anyone agree with me on what I said to him? Is it impossible to debate with religious people? At the time I seemed to make a lot of sense. But now I'm thinking and maybe he is right. Should we avoid discussions like this in the future? Does someone with some experience with religion have an religious answer to this?
Thanks.
(link)
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You said you should "respect the fact he's pure...". But that's not entirely correct. What you should respect is the fact that his beliefs are different than yours. You need to realize that your belief that "it's impossible to be rid of impure thoughts" actually sets the stage for your experience of impure thoughts, just as your friend's belief in the impropriety of having impure thoughts sets the stage for his experiencing only pure thoughts.
In other words, because you learned that impure thoughts are unavoidable, for you the only choices are to deal with them or repress them. However, your Mormon friend learned that impure thoughts are optional, so for him it's a simple matter of not opting to think impurely about other people. For your friend, the impure thought is not unavoidable...it is optional. Do you see how different beliefs (starting points) lead to different experiences (destinations)?
The most important lesson I want to pass on to you is that BOTH of you have legitimate claims on your beliefs and your experiences. You are both "right", in a sense. You both have an inalieable right to believe as you do and see the world as you do. Neither of you can avoid it. Noboday can. We must all see the world in some particular way, or we couldn't make decisions. The plurality of beliefs and lifestyles existent in the world follow naturally from this quality of mind, namely that each mind constructs its world. The reason many people can agree GENERALLY on an observed event is that the observed event really happened independently of the minds that perceived it. The reason why none of these observers will agree EXACTLY on the observed event is that each person's experience of the event is, in the fine details, unique, because each person has a unique collection of remembered experiences.
It is memory of past experiences that allows us to "predict" what will happen THIS time. And it is the ability to predict that has survival value.
I see from reviewing your question that you were seeking a "religous answer" to your question, and I have irreverently failed you. However, consider for a moment what I have told you. Nothing I have said refutes religous beliefs. Constructivism may actually shed some light for you on the VARIETY of religious experience. Even a congregation in a single church will agree GENERALLY on their religious beliefs but disagree on some finer points of doctrinal interpretation. Both their general agreement and specific disagreement are legitimate and natural--and completely unavoidable. This is why a nation is stronger for being accepting of diversity (plurality). This is why separation of church and state and freedom of religion have worked so well for our nation.
I do not think you should avoid these types of discussions with your Mormon friend. However, in the future, rather than trying to change each other's minds, try to understand each other's points-of-view.
Peace,
Dr. Chad
P.S. YES, it is impossible to DEBATE with religious people. Impossible and detrimental to any relationship you have with them.
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Let me ask you all reading my post right now: What is it called when you take a piece of a living being to create another living being? 'Playing GOD' right? We all know it better as Cloning! So lets speculate that a higher life form manipulates the DNA of a primate by adding their own DNA, or "creating them in their own image". Then they take a piece of their creation, lets just say "a rib" for example and make another one just like it only the opposite gender, (so they can reproduce naturally). That's creation, and with creation comes a natural side effect, evolution. Evolution is adaptation to survive in your surroundings. Please do not comment on my question if you are going to tell me that this is absurd. I have read the bible many times and have been a Christian, a Catholic, a Protestant and a Mormon. I have studied many other religions and they all confirm that God created Adam in his own image, God took a rib from Adam to make Eve. Thousands of years of history prove that we are evolving with every generation. So what religion am I if I believe in creation and evolution? (link)
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I am not aware of any religion that endorses both biblical creationsim and biological evolution. Some Christians have acknowledged the wide-ranging evidence for evolutionary theory but refuse to discard Genesis, and therefore have pieced together a story of our origin they call Intelligent Design, which accepts the mechanisms at work in evolution but denies that complex structures in nature (the classic example is the eye) could have proceeded from simpler structures (a pre-eye). They believe God designed complex structures in nature and also designed the evolutionary mechanisms that cause differentiation in these structures (blue eyes versus green).
The whole notion of God creating the world with specific structures and laws and then setting it into motion to run its course originated in the 17th and 18th centuries during the Enlightenment. Those who subscribed to this interpretation of God's role in the world called themselves Deists. Several of America's founding fathers were Deists, most famously Thomas Jefferson. However, Deism is one slippery step away from agnosticism (the belief that we cannot know whether God exists or not), which in turn is a short skip and a jump from full-blown atheism. For this reason, no church or sect will ever make Deism a popular or common stance in Christianity: too many people might fall through the cracks.
Personally I believe you have to choose between the two. Any attempt to reconcile creationism and evolution, is an attempt to have it both ways; to, as they say, have your cake and eat it too.
Good luck,
Dr. Chad
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I'm an Aethiest. I strongly believe that there is no god. I respect other people's religions, and I don't try to convert people or anything. Now, I've been in scouting for years. Lots of years. From a Tiger Cub Scout in 1st grade to a First Class scout now (I'm kind of slow with scouting). Anyway, the requirement for every class that says to live the Scout Oath and Scout Law in your every day life is now being enforced. My parents made me describe each part of the Law and Oath in great depth. When we reached Brave and Clean, I was starting to slip up. And then we reached Reverent.
Boy Scouts expects everyone to believe in some sort of god, and be straight. Gays and Aethiests have been kicked out in the past. And since Boy Scouts is a private thing, government can't interfere. People have tried to sue and lost the case. Now, I want to keep scouting. I love being a Boy Scout. Plus, it'll look good on my job application forms when I'm old enough that it won't be against child labor laws. =P So my options are:
a) Quit scouting (I don't want to. Really.)
b) Believe in a god (I'm not going to change my beliefs because of this. It's not in human nature.
c) Lie about my religion (Also against the Scout Oath. Not good.)
So obviously, I'm screwed. What should I do? It's putting so much pressure on me... (link)
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I sympathize with your sticky situation.
Obviously you've learned to think for yourself, since most likely nobody raised you to be atheist. The Boy Scouts is kind of like the Church: they've gotten a lot of things right, but not everything. There's an expression: Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Just because the Boy Scouts hasn't evolved with contemporary culture to include atheists and gays in its auspices doesn't mean you have to quit. You've set up a "false dilemma" for yourself, forcing yourself to choose among three equally untenable alternatives. Perhaps you need to enlarge your point of view. Or change it.
Hmm... what if for you God is Nature? Do the verses refer specifically to the god of the bible, or just "God"? If you revere nature and find a sense of spirituality in the outdoors, you would be remaining true both to yourself and to the Scouts, as long as when you speak of God, YOU intend to mean YOUR God, not the Christians' God.
Try Googling "Deist". Many of our forefathers were Deists--they believed a god of sorts set the world up with rules of physics and such, and set it spinning, and hasn't interfered since. This is definitely not the god your friends and neighbors worship, but it was Thomas Jefferson's God.
Of course, we all know the Scouts aren't referring to any other God than the Christian's God, so you'd be a little dishonest.
You know, sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe in. Other times, you have to look at the bigger picture and act in your own best interest (ie. your resume/job application).
Perhaps someday the Scouts will come around and become the secular organization they ought to be, and if you are patient and play along for now, you will be in a position to help lead the organization into a new era, even if only by participating as a pack leader for your son's troop.
I wasn't much help. Good luck with your dilemma.
Dr. Chad
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