Hello my name is Sarah and my friends always tell me i give good advice so i figured i would give this a try. i hope i can help some people but if you dont like my advice i am sorry but i will try to help the best i can. =]
If you really like my advice and would like me screen name or e-mail let me know.
and if my advice helps you please give me some feedback or a simple thank you...
Website: Advice from Sarah
Gender: Female
Location: USA
Occupation: student..for now...
Age: 14
AIM: rem3mberXforev3r
Member Since: March 13, 2005
Answers: 74
Last Update: April 30, 2005
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My brother died 2 weeks ago and I really don't know what to do. I lived with him because my mom died 3 years ago and my dad used to beat and rape me. He was more like a father than a brother to me and I really don't know what to do. I've been staying with my friend until I get a foster family and she is always asking me if I'm ok and I'm really not. I don't know what to do with myself. I even tried drugs and I've been drinking a lot. I just want to kill myself and I'm so scared of what's going to happen next. I love him soo much and he was pretty much all that I had and now he's gone. I haven't even cried because I just can't, does that mean that there's something wrong with me? Why can't I just cry like normal people do when something happens to them? I really think that I'm a horrible because I can't even cry for my own brother. Please help me (link)
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I feel so bad. But there is NOTHING wrong with you. when i am really upset i find it hard to cry. and you must be extremely sad. maybe one day when it hits you or something just gets to you, you will cry. if you dont that is okay. you still feel sad. not crying doesn't mean anything.
another thing though. please dont turn to drugs or alcohol because that just hurts you in the long run. if you ever get the urge to drink or use drugs try to think of someway to stop you like would your brother be happy if he knew you did that.
if you are a religious person you can pray to your brother and do other things like that.
i hope day by day things get a little easier for you but remember nothing is wrong with you
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ok my friend called me up and told me theres this party like right up the road from me!! it starts at like 8..but im not going to ask my mom if i can go..cuz how would i word it? if you have a good idea on how to word it ..thats an automatic 5 for you guys. I was thinkin..if not to just sneak out later on. (my dad works the night shift and my mom is usually asleep by 10:30)
What would you guys do? I've never really been to a wild party..usually i jus go to small parties or sweet 16's ..that stuff. My parents would want to know if someone is home..and who knows if they would actually want to talk to the parents being that the party is right up the road from me. (link)
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uhhh im not sure if this is the adivce you want but i think you shouldnt go.
"they are breaking into it"...right there is i bad idea....
plus if you DO get caught you will be in big trouble and your parents will most likely lecture you and lose trust in you. plus if you are like me your concience will be killing you......
plus because you posted this some part of you must no its not a very good idea
hope that helped =]
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This is a VERY long story so bear with me.
My father got re-married about three years ago. The woman he married, Karen, was perfectly nice until their wedding day, when she did a total Jekyll and Hyde (sp?) and went totally psycho. She started taking my stuff, hiding it or ripping it up, but never admitting that it was her. For a couple of years now my father's side of the family accused me of making it all up. However, about a year ago now, Karen sent a completely bitchy email, the details of which I won't bother going in to, which meant I stopped seeing her and my father's side of the family. Since then she has sent many more nasty texts and emails accusing me of all sorts and threatening to take the child benefit away from my mother, etc etc etc (I am aware that she couldn't legally do this).
Recently, her 'psycho stuff' has become a lot worse. She started sending odd letters - the address on the envelope disguised as a child's writing and saying on the back of the envelope, 'from Ryan' (Ryan is my younger cousin). Inside would be photographs of me, often cut up so I am the only one in the picture, and stuck onto a background of coloured card or paper. We knew she must be sending these because she is the only one, other than my father, with the access to these particular photographs (me on holiday with my father and Karen).
So, my (paternal) Nan confronted her and Karen has admitted that she sent the letters. She says it is because my father goes to work away a lot and she gets 'bored'. I personally feel that that doens't even qualify as an excuse to do what she has done - for weeks we had been terrified of who these letters were from, and I'm still scared to go out of the house (even into my backgarden) on my own incase she is lurking around.
Karen has since written a letter of apology to my mother's parents. WHY she sent it to them, I have no idea. My grandad doesn't want to take any further action, but there is no way that I am just sitting here and taking 'I was bored' as an excuse for putting my family through all the crap she has over the years (I have only mentioned a small amount of what she has done here). But what can I do?
She begged my grandad to NOT tell me and my mother that it was her who had sent the letters, but of course we know because WE figured it out in the first place. So, I think that if I do do anything, she will think my grandad has told me she did it, or my mother has put me up to doing whatever I would do. That means she might well hurt my grandad or my mother (I wouldn't put it past her - please no-one reply saying 'she wouldn't do that' because you don't know this woman. I do).
My mother thinks that I deserve an apology, not only from Karen but from all of my father's family for not believing me in the first place, but to me, 'sorry' just wouldn't cut it. 'Sorry' isn't a big enough word to make everything she has done go away. But what can I do? I know I could go to the police but my grandad doesn't think I should take any further action and I don't want to hurt or disappoint him. But on the other hand, there is NO WAY I am taking 'I am bored' as her reason.
There is also the problem that she doesn't know that me and my mother know she is the one who sent the letters. My father also doesn't know a THING about the letters yet, and although I don't get on with him, I want him to know - I'd want to know if my wife was doing something like that.
So, in summary, my question is: What can I do? Because there is no way I will do nothing. And how do I let Karen know that I know what she did? What else could I 'get out' of her other than an apology, something I don't want as I know it would mean nothing (she's already apologised to my grandparents, as I said, but that was only to stop them telling my father).
Sorry this was so long, and thanks in advance for any help. I'm fifteen, female, and don't see any of my father's family other than my Nan, if that helps.
xxx (link)
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wow that is horrible. i really think this woman is crazy and you should tell your dad AND the police. "i was bored" is NOT an excuse if you were even a little kid! threatening anyone is not right. i want to right more but honestly my brain is just screaming call the cops.
i hope everything works out for you!!!
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ok my sister's 16 birthday is coming up! i want to get her something special beacuse ...u know its her 16! but i dont no wut to get her!
any suggestions!
i rate high!
thanks! (link)
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well how old are you? because if you are younger and dont have alot of money here are my suggestions:
scrapbook with pictures of you and her or her and her friends
*(if she gets a car) accesories for the car
a necklace or bracelet
or if she likes any sports something that has to do with that sport
a cute stuffed animal
a picture of you and her with a personalized frame
or you could just talk to your parents and see what they think but i hope i helped.
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my parents are divorced and it seems that all my friends have a very happy family. i cant help but feel theres something wrong with me...why cant i have a perfect family and perfect life like everyone else? what have i done wrong!??! (link)
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okay not to be harsh but NO ONE HAS A PERFECT LIFE. you must know this deep down right?....nothing is wrong with you. believe me your friends must have something wrong with there family. EVERYONE does. in my family my mom died. so just try to be happy you still HAVE both parents ever though they are divorced...
i hope that helps you put things in perspective a little =\
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ok this is weird for me just to say out of nowhere, but i'm Mexican. ok where do i start? ok, my parents are kind of racist. they are always making fun of my white friend (of course not in front of her face) and think my other friend is weird just because she is black. my other friend is asian and they don't want me to be her friend. actually, my whole school is full of racist kids and they think a lot of the same things as my parents, since about 90% of my school is mExican. anyway, its not just my friends, my parents are totally judging everything i do and say i'm turning into some kind of white girl or something. when i lsten to rap songs, they tell me "dont be listening to those black songs. they use bad language and send the wrong message to people." i get really mad at my parents for being like that, but they tell me its for my own good and they want me to stay mexican. does that make any sense to you? because i don't get it at all. i guess what they mean is that, since i learned english when i was 3, listen to almost all english songs, and almost never speak spanish, they think i'm forgetting my roots, but that is sooo not true!!! it's not like i can just stop being mexican! anyway, they are trying to get me to be "more mexican" by pushing away eveything else and being racist. the other day i was listening to the radio and eminem's "mockingbird" came on and my dad got mad and told me that he doesn't want me listening to that crap. i honestly felt like hitting him...but he's my dad.why are my parents so mean and racist and am i really to blame for "not being a real mexican"? (link)
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well you can't yell at your parents because they seem pretty stuck in there ways and you probably dont want to get in trouble. i think you are doing the right thing though being friends with all these groups of people. your parents just need to realize that sikin color doesnt make the person. just TRY to ignore what they say or if you have a good relationship with one of your parents tell them why it makes you so mad when they make fun of your friends of a different race....if you cant do that i would say just try living your life the best you can and dont let rasism spoil it.
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i dunno where to start or how to explain it but me and my mom have a very close relationship, like we tell eachother everything and could talk about anything. well when i was little my dad died and she was with this real jerk that hit her and all this other stuff, she went back to him maybe like 10 times and that was hard for me. then finally she realized that that was enough. but the problem is i think shes actually going through it again. she was with this other guy and they seemed happy together and everything. but he had a problem with everything about my my mom, he even yelled her for her job?! she finally broke it up with him cuz she said she couldnt it anymore. but then last night she had told me she was going over his house and i just kept my mouth shut cuz i like to see my mom happy. but he just has a very bad attitude and he scares me. i just dont want her and me to go through this again. i need some great advice..plz and thank you
(link)
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I would tell your mom. you said you talk about anything so thats very good.
i think sometimes things that make people happy isn't what is really best for them..
again i think you should just tell her how you feel and see what she thinks.
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