Hi, I'm a 15 year old guy and have had some family issues over the past year which have caused massive tension within my family. As a result of this, my mother has sort of lost it and it angry at me all the time. I am a straight A studet at school, and have practically no free time because I do so many other activities that she has urged me to do. However, whenever I do something other than study or clean she yells at me. Our house is always extremely messy and she has made everything my job. I have to do hours worth of dishes (we have no dishwasher), clean the bathroom which is filthy within days of cleaning it, and feed all the pets. If I don't do this because I have no free time, she yells at me and prevents me from seeing my friends or girlfriend. I feel like I never have any time to relax or be with my friends, and Mum has unrealistic expectations of me. The family arguing has gotten to the point where the only thing I look forward to in life is moving out in a few years. What do I do?
There isn't much you can do in a situtation like this. Mom's I have come to learn all have their own ideas on Parenting. Some how I think they think by treating you like a slave, it will make you more involved with "the family" instead of your girlfriend ( who she probably doesn't like) and your friends. Which is true because it feels like all you ever do is what your mom wants. I have had this situtation happen to someone I love and there is absolutely NOTHING you can do. I know that sucks, and I know you are looking for answers here but all I can really offer is support. I think, just off the wall opinion here, but your mother loves you ( yeah that seems crazy considering she is making your life miserable), and that she is ... scared... of losing you in the future, say when you turn 18. Someone all this pressure to be perfect will make you WANT to stay home.
What these mom's don't understand is that it is doing quite the opposite. Not only is it turning you against your own family, it is making you feel like you are never good enough for them. I know you can deny it but I have seen what that kind of pressure does to someone and it is heartbreaking. It is/ and will continue to try and destroy your relationship with your girlfriend and friends. The key though is to make plans, talk about the future when you get out of there. Do you best to keep your relationships strong, and it can't hurt to apologize on your moms behalf.
Always watch what you say because your mom can make things bad if you " disrespect or backtalk" her. Know that you only have a few years left and while that seems like an eternity... you'll make it.
CD
[view]
I'm a 15 yr. old girl. My cousin is also 15. He has been fighting with me a lot lately and he's gotten closer to our 16 yr. old girl cousin. I feel a little left out because she and I were close at one point. Now my boy cousin is treating me like crap for no reason. He told me he wants nothing to do with me but when I ignore him he gets mad. I have asked him what the problem is and he tells me he doesn't know. I dont want to tell him how i feel about being left out because he will tell our other cousin who isn't close to me anymore. please help me. I'm out of options and I hate being treated like this.
I WAS IN THE SAME SITUATION... this is weird reading about yours, feels like Deja Vu. I hated the feeling of not only being left out and treated like crap but for no apparent reason. Turns out the other cousin he started hanging out with ( in my situation) didn't like me... at all. So he ditched me ALL the time. In my case I had to get out. I couldn't deal with that stress anymore so I found someone else and started hanging out with them. I basically removed myself from the situation and I found I was happy. I miss our close friendship but I am happier now than when I was always being left out and upset. Now me and my cousin are okay. We talk and stuff whenever we are near but I don't feel like I have to hang out with him anymore. I don't feel left out.
I would try and do that same. I know you'll feel bad at first, but I promise eventually you will be like " I should've done this sooner"
[view]
14/f
My parents are divorced. I've learned to accept that years ago. They have been divorced for almost ten years. Both of them are remarried and I love my step parents. I am very close to my mom, I think every girl is. I am also close to ny dad. I see him Wednesdays, Thrsdays, and I live with him every other weekend. I like how things are. However something has come up. You guys seem to get that I am close to both parents. They don't talk much, but when they do they are very responsible, respectful and they don't fight. My step dad works at NCR and his busnuiness is moving to Georgia. In two days we will get a letter saying if he is asked to move to Georgia. He has been looking for a job for about two months now. Since of the economy it is really hard to find a good job. He can't take a bigpay cut and he gets paid good. My step sister has asked me what would happen if he gets asked to go. I wasn't about to lie so I told her the truth, that he would move down there and my mom and I would stay in Ohio intill the house gets sold. When I told her that she got defensive, she said that I was NOT allowed to move sincemy dad lives here. I told her that my step dad couldn't go unemplyed and he is trying all he can to provide for my mom and I. I do not want to movie, but I know that we have to do whatever we have to do. All of my family lives up here. But I am trying to stay strong in all of this. A few weeks ago I was listening to my step mom on the phone to my dad's mom and she said that there was nothing to worry about because I wasn't allowed to move. Based on the law, I technically don't have to go to my dad's anymore since I am passed 13 years old. I turn fifteen in four days, I think that I am almost depressed. I cry everyday just thinking about this. I'm going through a hard time by myself, let only the fact that they don't support me. It's hard to stay strong when people tear you down. I am a christian and my moto is to live by gods will. I know that everything happens for a reason, so why can't they support me. Im going through a really hard time and it's hard to think that I might be moving away from my dad. I don't know what to do. My mom has told me that we would drive up here a lot, and I would get a job to pay for a car to drive myself and plane tickets. We may not even have to move, we will find out in two days. Whenever I talk to my step mom or step sister about it I go to the bathroom and cry. What should I do? I know they don't want me to leave, but I am old enough to not to be selfish and I relize that my step dad would have to make sacrifices too. My mom told me that I have the option to stay with my dad, I love my dad, but I couldn't leave my mom. I really need help. How do I talk to my step family and dad about somethng that makes me cry, and I know it makes them sad too, but to face the truth I may move. It wouldn't even be intill late 2010. That is over a year. I really need to talk to someone. My friends don't understand, please help. I'm sorry that this is long. But I needed to tell my side of the story.
I am so sorry your going through this! It really does put your in a tough place, you mom or your dad! Because it is clear you love both of your parents very much! But I think that if you will just look at your heart for a minute its probley telling you that you need to go with your mom! Your only 14 ( almost 15) and a young lady at that! You will need your mom more then you know it for your crazy mixed up teenage years! Not to mention college!
So I suggest this:
. Have a mope day. rent some sappy movies, chick flicks, then comedy. Just for YOU. Then enjoy your best mope entres' popcorn, ice cream, pizza! Cry if you need too! Your only human
. Then organize your thoughts and plans. Go with mom, visit day periodically.
. Call dad arange a date with your dad ( just him no step family intruding) and tell him how much you love him... and will miss him. He loves you, obviously, so he will not care if you cry, it may be a bit akward at first cause he is a man but not for long. Then arange ways to keep in touch. Daily emails and nightly phone calls. Maybey convince him to get a web cam so you can see each other. And visit every other weekend like you do now, just exclude the week days!
. Dont forget your family love you and will be there for you. As will god. God has given you the strenght and faith to deal with this you just have to except it!
I hope everything works out alright with you and your family, I will keep you in prayers,
lake_218 at live.com if you need to talk to someone!
C. D
[view]
Okay for starters I have a two year old son who will be 3 when my second child will be born. I have a step son but isnt living with us right now. Is there any way possible to prepare your 1st child for a second child? Also why do I always fell sick when I am getting ready to climb into bed?
My cousin has a newborn and a newly turned 3 year old, both girls. I can remember before the pregnancy she would always sit down and try to explain things to hannah (the oldest). She would tell her that a baby was coming out of her tummy, and then they would practice taking care of the baby doll my cousin bought for hannah when she found out she was pregnant.
They would feed and change the baby, and then it would sleep in its crib in hannahs room. So it was almost as if it was her own baby sister. However she didn't like the actual baby, Ella, as much as she did her doll. Of course you can't prepare your kid for the attention span the baby will receive.
So you just have to do your best! For example you have to keep some things constant in your 1st childs life, like bed time routines. If pre-new child your always read your 1st born a story and tucked her in at night then you need to continue to do that.
Another trick my cousin did was photos. Hannah my cousins first born was always having her picture takens so, instead of taking all the spot light of her and onto Ella she took pictures of both. For example the day when she went into labor and had Ella she took pics. of hannah in the waiting room eating lunch being brave those types of things, so she would have some attention too!
Hope all goes well.
C. D
[view]
|
