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humorist-workshop
being torn apart by something I can't change : (
14/f
My parents are divorced. I've learned to accept that years ago. They have been divorced for almost ten years. Both of them are remarried and I love my step parents. I am very close to my mom, I think every girl is. I am also close to ny dad. I see him Wednesdays, Thrsdays, and I live with him every other weekend. I like how things are. However something has come up. You guys seem to get that I am close to both parents. They don't talk much, but when they do they are very responsible, respectful and they don't fight. My step dad works at NCR and his busnuiness is moving to Georgia. In two days we will get a letter saying if he is asked to move to Georgia. He has been looking for a job for about two months now. Since of the economy it is really hard to find a good job. He can't take a bigpay cut and he gets paid good. My step sister has asked me what would happen if he gets asked to go. I wasn't about to lie so I told her the truth, that he would move down there and my mom and I would stay in Ohio intill the house gets sold. When I told her that she got defensive, she said that I was NOT allowed to move sincemy dad lives here. I told her that my step dad couldn't go unemplyed and he is trying all he can to provide for my mom and I. I do not want to movie, but I know that we have to do whatever we have to do. All of my family lives up here. But I am trying to stay strong in all of this. A few weeks ago I was listening to my step mom on the phone to my dad's mom and she said that there was nothing to worry about because I wasn't allowed to move. Based on the law, I technically don't have to go to my dad's anymore since I am passed 13 years old. I turn fifteen in four days, I think that I am almost depressed. I cry everyday just thinking about this. I'm going through a hard time by myself, let only the fact that they don't support me. It's hard to stay strong when people tear you down. I am a christian and my moto is to live by gods will. I know that everything happens for a reason, so why can't they support me. Im going through a really hard time and it's hard to think that I might be moving away from my dad. I don't know what to do. My mom has told me that we would drive up here a lot, and I would get a job to pay for a car to drive myself and plane tickets. We may not even have to move, we will find out in two days. Whenever I talk to my step mom or step sister about it I go to the bathroom and cry. What should I do? I know they don't want me to leave, but I am old enough to not to be selfish and I relize that my step dad would have to make sacrifices too. My mom told me that I have the option to stay with my dad, I love my dad, but I couldn't leave my mom. I really need help. How do I talk to my step family and dad about somethng that makes me cry, and I know it makes them sad too, but to face the truth I may move. It wouldn't even be intill late 2010. That is over a year. I really need to talk to someone. My friends don't understand, please help. I'm sorry that this is long. But I needed to tell my side of the story.
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I am so sorry your going through this! It really does put your in a tough place, you mom or your dad! Because it is clear you love both of your parents very much! But I think that if you will just look at your heart for a minute its probley telling you that you need to go with your mom! Your only 14 ( almost 15) and a young lady at that! You will need your mom more then you know it for your crazy mixed up teenage years! Not to mention college!
So I suggest this:
. Have a mope day. rent some sappy movies, chick flicks, then comedy. Just for YOU. Then enjoy your best mope entres' popcorn, ice cream, pizza! Cry if you need too! Your only human
. Then organize your thoughts and plans. Go with mom, visit day periodically.
. Call dad arange a date with your dad ( just him no step family intruding) and tell him how much you love him... and will miss him. He loves you, obviously, so he will not care if you cry, it may be a bit akward at first cause he is a man but not for long. Then arange ways to keep in touch. Daily emails and nightly phone calls. Maybey convince him to get a web cam so you can see each other. And visit every other weekend like you do now, just exclude the week days!
. Dont forget your family love you and will be there for you. As will god. God has given you the strenght and faith to deal with this you just have to except it!
I hope everything works out alright with you and your family, I will keep you in prayers,
lake_218 at live.com if you need to talk to someone!
C. D
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Its perfectly ok for you to shed some tears over this. You can be brave about it and still show your emotions!
Your step sister and step mom will miss you. They are acting upset because you are leaving and they have no control over that. They probably understand that it can't be helped, that just doesn't make the reality any easier to live with. Many people just don't like change.
Being depressed over it is normal. Being sad is normal. I doubt anyone in your entire family is really happy about this. But, people have to make a living where they can these days.
You just talk to your step family and don't worry about the tears.
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hey there,
first off let me say how your being so brave strong and understanding throughout all this.
most 14 year olds would kick up a fuss about moving and act completely imaature and not know how to handle it but your being so mature I know I wouldnt be able to take all of this and Im nearly 16.
Your mom step sister and step dad,are only thinking of you I know it might seem like they don't support you by wanting you to stay where you are but I don't think its entirely that I think they are Just letting you know that they arent going to force you to move and thats good.
because in most situations sometimes the person isnt given an option and has to go.
try stay positive youve got two families who love you and just want the best for you and to see you happy. there fore you have the choice.
some people have no familes look at the glass half full.
I know its an extremely hard choice to make but whether you decide to go or stay you will still see your other other family like your mom said you can visit etc,I know it wont be the same but its better then nothing.
try not to worry or stress out too much until you know for sure if you actually have to move.
your only 14 you shouldnt have to deal with this stuff,like you said you wont even be moving until late 2010 so I would advice you for the time being to relax and do your best to take your mind off it and think about your decision nearer the time weigh out your options.
Ihope ive made the correct understanding in all of this,sorry If i have gotten it wrong!
I do hope Ive helped you some how,and i wish I could help make your decision for you or that you werent even in this position at all.
its good that you have a close relationship with god,keep praying hes always one to listen if no one else wont =]
if you need to talk my inbox is always open
Again I hope I helped and good luck
Much <3
Jess
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