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mixed signals!
Hi guys.
I have a real problem :-/ There is a guy that I really like, his name is Steve. For like 3 months now we have been close, & he has said he really likes me on many occasions. We have never committed to anything like "being boyfriend and girlfriend" but basically we wouldn't date anyone else. At first we were just getting to know eachother as we had just met, but recently we have become close. Things have been bad with us lately. Firstly another guy(Nick) asked me out right infront of him, and despite me saying no to the guy, Steve was still annoyed. His friends say he has trust issues and has been hurt in the past etc so I can understand. Me and Nick are just friends and it will always be this way (as I have explained to Steve). One night me and Nick were hanging out with some of my friends and some of his, and Steve saw us and went mad at me. He said he didn't want to speak to me again and I should just date Nick. I tried explaining but he wouldn't listen.
A week later, Steve emailed me and said he was really sorry that he dealt with it that way. But when I saw Steve again he said "I don't want a relationship - with anyone. I'm not ready and I need to clear my mind" Although I really like him, I accepted how he felt and just left him alone. But now Steve is is saying "I really liked you, I wanted to be with you, but I know you like Nick and not me. I don't want to speak to you" etc etc. What the hell is with this guy?!?? I told him I don't like Nick in that way but he just isn't listening! I'm happy to move on from Steve, but only if he doesn't want me. He always seems to change his mind! :-/
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I don't think Steve's sending mixed singals. He saw the guy Nick ask you out. You may have been laughing or smiling and that caused him to think there was more even though you said no.
Then he sees you out with him even though you there were other friends there, you were still in the company of the guy who asked you out. So if he has trust issues, yeah he jumped to conclusions.
Steve did apologize for his behavior. When a man says he doesn't want a relationship, he's usually telling the truth. And he's using past tense, I liked you. I wanted to be with you. He basically saying he doesn't anymore. In his mind you like Nick and not him.
Maybe you can have a much needed conversation in the future and see where things can go. But for now, just give Steve a little space.
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The boy has issues. Let him work it out.
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When Nick asked you out did you say "no, I'm with Steve" or did you just say no? The way YOU answered the question might have given Steve the idea you don't like him the way he likes you. He cares for you. I can tell by his stupid reaction. Start over with Steve by calling him and ask him out to a place where none of your friends will go. Be with only Steve. You might get a chance to clear things up and tell each other how you really feel.
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