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Age:

15

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May 10, 2004

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34

Last Update:

April 23, 2005

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my boyfriend kinda throws me around a little and im ready to get out what do i say?

i'm glad you are choosing to get out of this abusive relationship .. there should ALWAYS be mutual respect for each other in a relationship , and both the guy and girl should always be equals , without one controlling the other . Also , any man who hits a female is definitely not a good person , let alone a good boyfriend . You should bring a good friend or a couple of close friends with you to place you are going to break up at . A good idea would be a public place with people there , but not a really crowded place . Maybe a restaurant ? Make sure your friends are sitting at a table near you , so they can always help you if your bf tries to hit you or hurt you , though he won't in a public place . Don't beat around the bush when you tell him , just say something like : " this isn't working out . I want to break up . " .
After you break up with him , for the next few weeks , make sure you always have a friend with you no matter where you go as he might try to hurt you . If he attempts to or does hurt you , report his behavior to the police or tell someone like your teacher or your parents . IF you need to talk more about this, just ask me a question via my advice column , k hun ?
Hope I've helped ,
Good luck and Gods Bless ,
*Wondering*

hey..sry if this shows up 2 times lol

ok..ive been dating a guy for 2 years and i luv him so much!! all weve done is kiss and make out. but i want things to move a little faster, like i want 2 give him a handjob or blowjob or something. but i dont know how to aproach asking him, or if he'll let me do it. hes kind of prude, but sometimes hes wild so i dont know if i should put it off or ask him or just do it or what, and i want 2 still date him..but if he says no then itll be so awkward around him. please help!

haha .. don't ask . that would be awkward ,i think . =) hmm .. are you two old enough to drink even just a bit ? it would be easier if you got him a little tipsy ( but not drunk ), but try not to drink much yourself . Both of you still need to know what you are doing . Guys are usually wilder when they take a bit of alcohol , and if you really are embarrassed , take a bit too . Remember , don't take too much cos the point is NOT to get drunk or to have sex .Okay when he's a bit tipsy just start kissing him ,a bedroom would be ideal cos its private . pull closer to him and sort of like grind your hips against him , and maybe change the position of one of your hands from where they usually are when you kiss him , and put them at THAT part .If he likes it , most likely he'll start showing it now ( by moaning , or maybe he'll get a boner ) . now use the hand that is at his pants and unbutton / pull down the zip . He should be responding somehow , like by touching you or trying to remove your clothes .Ok now you stop kissing him , and you squat / bend down . This is when you start playing with him . use yor tongue first cos its more of a tease , and then your whole mouth .

My mom wants me to be a total conformist: make-up, trendy clothes, dumb girl for a regular guy: you know. I really don't want to because it is so not me but she doesn't care. What do I do?
15/f

haha .. well actually i think its pretty cool that your mum wants you to be fashionable and stuff , but she's definitely putting way too much stress on you to be like a stereotyped bimbo clone of everyone else . What would the world be like if everyone was like that ?
Thank goodness for people like you . Keep rocking and be yourself . =D People will see that you act different , and that you ARE different , and special . and they will respect you for that (: .
don't stress yourself too much k ? Gods bless ,
*wondering*

What do you do if you find yourself more and more each day, liking a guy who does not believe in God? I am a christian and I have my morals, standards and beliefs and he doesn't meet my number one standard which is believeing in God and having a relationship with him but, on the other hand, I am so drawn to him I can't help it.He's a really great guy but should we just stay friends and nothing more?

i don't think i need to repeat the bible verse that tells you not to date non-christian guys . ( other people have already put that in )
. As a Christian myself , I really do believe that you should NOT date this guy . I understand that you like him , but keep this one sided . Admire him from afar , but do not flirt or get too close to him . And in the meanwhile , pray really hard that a Wonderful Christian boy will come into your life , and that he will be everything you want.. i'm sure God will answer your prayer . =) and remember , GOD comes first before everything else ! =D
Keep believing , Gods bless ,
*wondering*

ok well on friday there is this dance at columbus(an all guys school) and my friend told me about it and told me to go w/ her and her b/f who goes to the school. i can't take my b/f because guys that don't go to the school aren't allowed to go. i want to go to the party though because i've been dying to go to one lately but i know that if i tell my b/f i'm going w/o him he'll get PISSED since its an all guys school and i'm going by myself bcuz he's really overprotective. what should i do??

well you have two choices :
1- tell him the truth . tell him that you really want to go out and have fun . and make sure he trusts you . at the dance do not betray his trust . if you play you're cards right , he will definitely let you go . if not , then too bad ... but make him feel bad so that he'll bring you somewhere else fun and make sure you have a good time . MANIPULATE him !
2- lie . this is not a good idea because if you get found out he will immediately be suspicious as to why you didn't tell him and wonder if you're cheating on him , if you don't trust him etc.

ok this boy is going to ask me out next friday and i want to say something other than the usual stuff like yes sure yea i guess.. i want it to be classy what is a good way to say like yes in a diffrent way though?

I will usually blush and look down when he asks me , and then i look up when he is done , and smile shyly/sweetly up and say something along the lines of " sure , i would love that" . This works like magic , and i think that guys sort of like it when you act slightly shyer than usual . According to one of my guy friends , its "cute" . Of course , if you are usually very loud and stuff , i think this would be weird .

Hope i've helped ,
Laura .

Im 16 and been with my bf for about 10 months
and we have talked about sex, the thing is when he gets aroused his penis gets quite big and im
worried that it will hurt to much because im a
little tight will it hurt? and what can we do?

I'm pretty sure that every guys penis gets bigger when he is aroused or feeling sexually active , so no worries there .

What kind of guy is your boyfriend ?
Will he leave you once having sex with you ?
Are you sure you are willing to lose your virginity to him ? Do you love him ?

If your boyfriend is really nice and gentle , i'm sure that having sex with him wouldn't hurt much , and instead be pleasureable . Just tell him that it is your first time and you don't want to get hurt . He should understand .

Does your boyfriend have a reputation for a player ? It doesn't seem so , as you have been together for 10 months . Just make sure that he wouldn't get tired of you and leave you after taking your virginity .

How do you feel about this whole matter ? Do you WANT to lose your virginity to him ? Or are you just WILLING to lose it to him ? Both are different . To me , having sex isn't really important , but i beleive that both of you will form a bond after this . Sort of like a "i am ___'s girl" sign stuck on you .

Also , make sure you don't become pregnant , that is , unless your boyfriend is older and has a stable job and both of you are willing to look after and raise your child together . If not , just use as much protection as possible and remember to relax while doing it , as i've heard that it helps a lot . Sort of like when you use a tampon for the first time , you feel really nervous , and it takes like 10 minutes to insert it . ( according to my experiance )

Anyway , how do you know that you are tight ? Maybe the people you have compared with are loose or have had sex before . Either that , or they finger themselves alot . Most guys i know say that a "tight" girl is better anyway , so this shouldn't be much of a problem .

Goodluck , hope i've helped ,
Laura .

im thinking of having sex... oh it might help... im turning 15 and im a grl... what do you think

hmm .... actually , you aren't really THAT young , just sightly . How old is this guy ? Isn't this counted as underage sex ? Just make sure you wouldn't regret it and that this guy won't just use you . Also make sure that your guy isn't a big mouth and wouldn't go around blurting out that you lost your virginity to him . ( eww . you might even get a rep as a slut or something worse ) . I've heard that it hurts , ALOT . I think that if you plan on doing it , you should stay overnight somewhere , as you can just go to sleep with each other . Its much better than doing it after school , and having to go home soon after .
I think you should go for it , but remember to use as much protection as possible and to relax !

Sometimes things he does irritates me. Like today, we had an assembly at school, I didn't want to sit beside him, but my irritating friend pointed me out and I sat beside him. Then as me and my other friend was leaving, I saw him just continuing to sit there by himself and I felt REALLY bad afterwards. I know I love him though because I feel like I'm not gonna cry if he's mad at me. I'm not sure what's going on with me.

Is he your boyfriend ?

i don't think that your relationship is working out .You don't even want to sit next to him , and he doesn't exactly look for you and ask you to sit next to him , does he ? He could be giving you the silent treatment , by not following you when you go out of assembly or talking to you . Or maybe he's just really really shy and doesn't know how to talk to you , which is unlikely , as usually the shyest of boys will still attempt to talk to their girlfriends .

You mentioned that you felt really bad , but do you still love him ? I think that if your boyfriend is acting normal , you should really dump him . Usually , boyfriends SHOULD be seeking YOU out , or walking you to assembly . However , he could also be mad at you . Did you just have a fight with him ? If so , he may be feeling upset and need some comfort , such as you taking a walk or an ice cream with him .

Think about it : will you cry or feel really upset if he breaks up with you ? Sometimes , i feel that boys are really irritating , and when they start to ignore you and irritate you on purpose , this is when you should break up with them .

If you want to keep your relationship , tell your friends that you need some private time with him , and to stop bothering you , and be nice to him , and gradually , your realtionship should come back together . If your bf shows signs of irritation when you come near him , there is a chance that he is bored with you or that he doesn't like you any more . Have a talk with him concerning both of your feelings . This way , you can avoid shouting and screaming at each other .

Good luck ,
Laura .

See, here's the thing. I love my boyfriend, but we're going through this thing right now where whenever we get on the phone, he doesn't talk to much. And sometimes he irritates me. I don't know if I"m comfortable around him though.I think I am, but then again, I don't know what to think anymore. Someone please help me!

I think that you are getting bored of each other . Why don't you spend some time away from him , just to sort out your feelings and to evoke the feeling of longing . If you feel happier without him , i think you should break up cuz you are just fooling yourself that you love him . If you feel sad without him , you still love him , and need him as part of your life . This isn't very accurate , but is a sure way of telling if you still do have a crush on him or not .
How does he irritate you ? If it is obviously intentional , such as "you look fat in that dress" or "are you that pathetic that you can't even pass home econs ? " chances are that he doesn't really like you any more . However , if he irritates you by repeating questions which concern your welfare , he still does care about you . Just tell him nicely that you need some space and to stop worrying .
Hope i've helped ,
Laura .

I have been dating this guy for some time now and I have caught him lying to me several times already. Lying about stupid things like who he has talked to and just little things that build up. I love this guy with all of my heart but all the signs are there that he is cheating on me and that scares me to death. We were so close for so long and now we really just aren't. I don't want to loose him, but I can't have him lying to me all the time. No he has been doing things, hanging out wise, with all of these different girls and he doesn't tell me about it until one of them call or I find out by him telling a friend or something that retarded. Is he cheating on me?

Here's what I think : Yes , i think he's most probably cheating on you . Either that , or your relationship is seriously falling apart . Was he always like this , or has this been happening all the while since the beginning of your relationship ? Are you sure he hangs out with girls , or does he hang out in groups mixed groups ? ( with girls and boys ) If he has been doing this since the beginning , i suggest you tell him what you think . After all , he deserves a chance .

Maybe he thinks that you might be mad at him if you find out he has hung out with mixed groups . If you find out that he has been playing with you , and he has been meeting other girls and being "more-than-friends" with them , i suggest you dump him straight away . Better you dumping him because of what he did , than he dumping you because of what he did and because he is bored with you .

Also , why don't you enlist the help of some of your closer friends ? ( never tell too many people , or rumors might start to circulate , and any chance of reparing your relationship might just fall apart ) Ask them to "spy" on him , and to tell you what they think . At this point , rely more on your girl friends than your bf , as signs such as he lying to you have appeared , so you had better be cautious .

Trust is a very important element in bf-gf relationships . If he can't even trust you enough to know that you will not blow up at him if you find out he has been hanging out with mixed groups , what are the chances that in the future , he would lie to you ?

Wishing you all the best with your problem ,
Laura .

What's the best mascara to use and why?

I prefer mascara such as the Maybelline's Sky-High type or Maybelline's Full N' Soft mascara . ( I'm a Maybelline fan =0 ) If not , Stila's ones are okay , and cute too .=) . I don't like brands that layer the mascara on too thick because they make your lashes look fake . The (above) brands have rather good mascara and can help you achieve natural looking lashes , with a little curl . It also helps to blot out access mascara on a tissue before applying it . =)
If not , a little eyeliner will help you define your eyes .
Hope I've helped !

I just met this guy today and he's really sweet and nice ,ect...But the problem is when he's around me he gets kinda ,no very speachless, he's 16 and he just asked me out, I hardly even know the guy and now hes wanting to go out with me and I need help, I'm 15 and looking for the right guy,but waiting a long time !!!!! Help me , Should I give him a chance??? or should I look for the right guy by waiting.... PLEASE answer by tomorrow!!????

Ok , think of the threse factors :
1) Do you think he's cute ?
2) Will anyone strongly disagree with both of u ?
3) WIll you be hurting him by leading him on ,
especially if you don't really like him ?

Don't hurt him by going out with him if you don't like him . He seems like a really good friend once he gets over his whole "speechless" thing . Why don't you go out with him in a group to a movie or something to get to know him better ? Personally , i think its great that hes so sweet and nice to you . Just make sure he will treat you well throughout , and wouldn't have a sudden change of attitude once you agree , and become over possessive or mean . ( i've had one of these jerks before , trust me , they suck , and you can't get out for a loooong time )
Wishing you the best of luck ,
WoDerInG . .....

ok theres thsi boy at school and i really like him i dont know him that well but he comes over to my house to swim and stuff cuz he lives by me.. ok wut i was gonna ask is what is something like cool to talk about iwht him im not a nerd so i dont talk about books movies crap like that,, he is popular and im kinda popular and i think he thinks im hott and stuff and he isw always pancing me but i need a good conversation to talk to about with him like soemthing horn or soemthign cuz we are both horny and i just dont know that to say when he comes over or when i seee him at school PLASE HELP!!!

relax ..... i used to be so nervous around my crush until i realised that he was also just a normal human being , not some king that we should all worship and stuff . i'm not saying that you shouldn't think about what to say beforehand , but just act cool and say whatever comet to mind but make sure you
1) do not insult him , tease yeah , but insult NO
2) do not say things like " tess is such a slut and a cheat too , do you know ... " This will make you sound like a gossip or a complainer
3) praise him indirectly
4) make him feel wanted , maybe be asking him a math question , but not ALL the time , or you will just seem stupid
4) another tatic is to play " hard to get " . from my experience , about 75% of guys love a challenge . the others will think you don't like them .

hope i'm helping =)
GOOD LUCK

There is this girl at my school whom I really like but she thinks I am a loser of some kind. I really want to ask her out. What should I do?

why should she think you a loser ? i don't really know about your crush , but i totally fall for those cute slightly nerdy type guys , especially those with glasses , and those cute , shy smiles .
why don't you find out more about your crush and talk to her ? if you are shy , just keep staring at her until she looks at you , and then quickly look down and blush ( if you can ) . Just remember , don't do this more than once a day , because you might seem deperate . ( desperation = turn OFF )
Don't worry , i'm pretty sure you aren't a loser , unless you are the type of guy who frequently gets beaten up by the so called "cool" guys . If you are somewhere in the middle , GO FOR IT !!!

hope i'm helping and GOOD LUCK !!

i fell in luv with a guy n he doesnt feel the same for me now were no longer 2gether and he has a girlfriend yet i cant even look at another guy. how do i get over him?

Its hard , isn't it ? I went through this same problem , and i lost like 3 kg , at least $400 and in the end , still wasn't over my crush . just remember , whatever you do , DO NOT , i must repeat , DO NOT splurge . ( as in , go crazy and start buying everythign in sight ) The best way to get over him is to get a few of your best mates , and go "guy-spotting" with them . Not only will this help you get your mind off whoever you are still thinking about , you can get some eye-candy and laugh and giggle at the slightest thing .
The best way to do this is to sit somewhere where you can see everybody walking by , and then , of course , start spotting !! And if you are lucky , you can even get a guy or rebound guy by the end of the day .

Sorry if I sound really ditzy or plain mean ,
but you should cheer up , don't think about someone who wouldn't think about you .=)
Hope i'm helping and GOOD LUCK !

I have a boyfriend, but I have a crush on someone else,what should I do?

Just how huge is this crush ? Why don't you hang out a little more with your crush and try some of the classic tricks just to see if he responds ( does he like you ? ) and just to know him a little better .

Also , prick up your ears and listen to what your friends have to say about him . You have to know if they find him nice , or if they like him as well . If one of your friends admits their crush on him , i think it is best not to do anything just yet . It will make you seem like the "bad" girl in this situation . Also, check your crushes rep , if he happens to be known as a player , you might want to be careful .

If things DO go according to plan , and you are planning to break up with your current boyfriend , make sure that he is single ,and that you don't ask him out ( if that is what you are planning to do ) immediately after you break up , or you might get labled as a slut .

If you are waiting for him to ask you out , make sure he knows that you have broken up with your bf , and turn on the flirting machine ( but don't over-do it , cuz desperation is a major turn-off ) , and drop a few hints , and voila !

I hope you find my advice useful ,
and GOOD LUCK !!!

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