I made this advice column to help kids and teens with their problems. I have personally had deal with siblings, friends, parents, school, and basically anything and everything else. I know what it feels like to be upset when life gives me crap. I assure you guys, the advice I give will not be like, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" No. I don't believe in that bull. I'll give advice that will help guide you and maybe help you make the right choice. The advice I'll give would be realistic and straight forward. No nonsense. I remember hating it when adults told me to look on the positive side of things when I was upset, I mean, what the hell? It's so hard to look at some crappy situation positively. Like when my grandma died, how the hell am I supposed to look positively at that? Couldn't you guys just let me mourn and leave me alone? But a teacher who was just like am I now gave me some advice that actually helped. She told me some things that helped me cope with the loss. Unfortunately, I haven't seen her since grade five. Oh yeah, one more thing, I do not appreciate stupid questions because there ARE such things as stupid questions. So don't be asking for homework help or anything like that. kkthanx
-Wicked
Website: Realistic Advice
Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Occupation: Student
MSN: thanh-5455@hotmail.com
Member Since: May 11, 2009
Answers: 42
Last Update: May 15, 2009
Visitors: 4618
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lately ive been feeling empty..useless and not good enough.
theres days when im like really happy and then just toally depressed
its mostly guy troubles i guess.
i havnt had a proper bf/gf relationship with a guy in ages everytime it gets near that stage with someone like something happens.
i was meeting up and hanging out with this one guy for a while and he seemed really nice at first then i found out after a while it was clear he was only interested in just sex and afterwards i found out he was a stoner.so i stopped texting and hanging out with him then i seen him with another really stunning girl and it bothered me although i know it shouldnt have.
then theres another guy that ive known for ages and reallyy like i kissed him once too and i thought it was gonna go somewhere cos he used to text me all the time but then all of a sudden he just stopped and got distant and it made me feel like crap.
I was on his bebo (like myspace) one day and there were so many comments from loadss of girls.
i hate feeling like a need a bf or guy to be happier but its just getting me down lately that i seem to attract all the wrong guys.
i keep asking myself whats wrong with me?
i just dont know what to do sometimes i just feel like im stuck in a rut and if i go out with my friends and we see couples and stuff i get jealous.
ive been trying to focus on other things in my life but it almost always finds someway to get me down.
has anyone any advice?..or has felt or does feel how i do right now?
(link)
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I know how it feels to be desperate for a boyfriend. I've been single so long... it's sad, really pathetic really. But then realized; I can have fun without a boy, I have fun and enjoy life without a guy. You can too. With the right attitude, you can feel happy and enjoy your life without a boyfriend.
You can find the right guy sooner or later, just be patient.
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hello, im 15 f, and im cuban.
my boyfriend is 18 black and mexican.
heres the thing, my parents just recently found out that me and him are dating, and they fliped out. they say im nasty for liking a black guy, and that im only putting myself down and that im too pretty and light skined for him and etc.. i really dont know what to do cause i like him alot and i dont want to loose him over something so dumb like his skin color. and he isnt even that dark! hes like chris brown dark. and he dresses very nice, and is a good kid. i have to talk to my parents today. how can i convince them to let me be with him? oh and my dad was saying things like what would people think? and how it looks bad for someone whos white to be with someone whos black. (link)
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That is the worst kind of situation. Tell your parents they're being racist. Just go and be head on about the situation. Tell it to their faces and say, "Why are you being racist? You don't like my boyfriend because he's black?" Your parents are probably concerned he's in a gang or something so tell them the truth, he's not. If your parents forbid you to see him, tell your boyfriend. Maybe he will confront them and tell them that they are behaving rudely. Your parents, like most, would probably try to deny that they dislike black people to save their faces, and they would give you some lame excuse. That's when you give your reasons to why he's a good guy. If you've had previous boyfriends, use them as examples to why they aren't being treated different and your boyfriend is. The key to this problem is to confront your parents.
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my ex and i broke up a couple weeks ago. almost a month soon. but i want to be with him because i know we should be. his bday is coming up to, his 21st. he wants us to date other ppl and see where it leads us but i dont want to date anyone else because it doesnt seem right and he told me not to wait for him but i am. i guess i am just waiting because every other guy i see doesnt seem that great to be with. im picky! but i want him back and in a way win him over. i know it sounds dumb but i do. so any ideas? of maybe what i can do for his bday without being there or for him to keep showing him i am waiting for him and i care. he lives outta state but will be back next week and back in june for good. i already went down to where he lived and had dinner with him all dressed up and he loved it but still nothing was different. and i am willing to give him time because he does need it. (link)
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You can't get him back unless he WANTS to get back together. It's silly to try to win him over if he doesn't want to be won over. There are many other guys who are awesome and really nice, you should follow HIS advice and date other people. I'm sure you'll find someone who will love you guys will be happy together. Don't dwell in the past and move on with your life. Don't wait for him, cos if he doesn't want to be with you, it's probably not worth it.
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Is it possible for a guy to cum from some sort of sexual stimulation, but not be mentally aroused/feeling what their penis is feeling?
I have been with my boyfriend of two years, and I ( a month or so ago) wanted to start experimenting in the handjob/ feeling each others' genitals department. Obviously I didn't want to do anything he didn't want to do. So I would ask him a lot if he was interested in that or whatnot, until at one point he said he would be okay with it. I always felt that it would be wrong to do something sexual he wasn't totally into, and would mention was that okay? That I want to do something you are not also really excited about doing? Too the point where maybe I was asking too much and should have just gone one way or another.
I figured, a few weeks ago, that I might as well go ahead and maybe he would end up enjoying it. While we were feeling each other up (or down?) he got kindof flushed, and he said that he felt something. He wouldn't tell me if he liked it or not, though... he said he didn't totally know.
After that I would play this dance where I would say I was worried about taking advantage of him, but then he would roll his eyes (like "you're not taking advantage of me!") and I would end up touching his penis anyway. I don't know if he's felt something since that one time.
Just today there was no one home and we both have spare so we took our shirts off and were pretty much making out... Anyway I started to give him a handjob and his penis was... well it was getting aroused, and he was touching me, too. Out of the blue he makes this totally in pain/grossed out/disgusted face and I'm like, "what?" At first I thought my vagina may be super giving out discharge, or I had hurt him somehow, but when I put my glasses on I see that he's upset because he's cummed all over his pants. "The male body is pretty gross" Was the first thing he said. Then he told me it (me feeling him up) didn't feel like anything.
My question is - since he's pretty much usually grossed out by the male sex drive/ male objectification of women, is it possible he is mentally shutting out the pleasure he's getting from anything sexual? I do know that he has the ability to shut out emotions; he's told me this. If this is the case, what should I do (should I do anything)? Is it possible that this is a situation thing, or that he will become more sexual in the future? And if I in any way get him to do something sexual that he doesn't get anything out of - is this wrong?
-- background info: We have been dating for two years and totally love each other. Even though he seems to not be aroused by my boobs or vulva, he loves kissing me - like, addicted to it, as well as holding me, cuddling, ect. We are both in gr 12 (I'm 18, he's 17) and are both virgins. Our relationship is totally satisfying for me otherwise so while this is a concern it is not a dealbreaker. (link)
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You should ask him how he feels about this whole situation. Talk to him.
From my personal opinion, I think you should stop if this is uncomfortable for him, but if he's fine with it, go ahead.
The only way to find out if he enjoys doing that or not is by asking him. Don't try to force him into doing something he doesn't enjoy.
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this weekend i am going to one of my best friend's party. alot of people from my old school are going that i havn't seen in a year or two. especially this guy anthony who i really liked and we flirted and stuff a while ago but we havn't spoken in about a year. when i see him i dont know how to act or say. i still really like him. any advice??? please let me know (link)
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Just act as you always would, be yourself. Try to catch up some news, talk casually. Become friends, real friends before doing anything rash. You have to learn how to comfortable around him, how to act yourself around him. It's not gonna be any fun if you don't know what to say or how to be when around him, therefore, being around would be no fun. Just try to be as normal as you usually are, be yourself.
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does anyone know any songs that are about a break up under the category of:
1. The person cheated on you
2. Breaking up and being confident to find someone else
3. Breaking up and knowing your ex made the mistake and won't find someone else
thank you! (link)
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Lips of an Angel- about this guy who misses his ex and wishes his current gf were her.
Before He Cheats- well, the title says it all. This girl does stuff to her bf before he cheats.
You can also google some songs.
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ok, so I made my friend email my crush and tell him that she has a friend that really likes him, she would forward the emails to me, but somehow my name got in there by mistake and i didn't want him to know i like him.
So i emailed him and told him i didn't like him, he said he was cool with it, but he said he didn't know who i was. He probably forgot my name, so last time i saw him one of my friends was shouting my name
then after that he started acting kind of hurt, did he like me? I like him and i really want to let him know now, what do you think I should do?
(link)
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I think you should get to know him better before doing anything. See if he's compatible with you, let him learn your name first. You guys should become friends and then, when you think the time's right, tell him you like him. He might even like you back, and if he doesn't, there are tons of other guys out there who are just as great. The worst he can do is reject you, right? You don't wanna spend your days wondering what could have happened.
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I have to admit. What you say is true. But the thing that bugs me the most is the fact that he's not mine. He's not anybody's. We're just friends right now. And that's what makes figuring out my feelings that much harder. (link)
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Then you should definitely confront him and tell him your feelings. Maybe he'd feel the same. You'll never know if you don't tell him. What's the worst that could happen? He's a nice guy, the worst he could say is he just wants to be friends. So, give it a shot.
It seems that you really like him. It's going to hurt more not knowing how he feels.
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Let's start from the top, shall we?
He's perfect, in so many ways. He's the perfect height, and his eyes are the kind to fall in love with. And I have. That's just the start.
He's always one to make me laugh and smile, even when I've had the worst day ever. I found out my dog of 11 years died, and he still was able to help me forget, and I don't even think he knows that he does it.
He's the guy that shows up in my dreams. The one that always seems to know what to say, even if he doesn't say anything at all. And I know all this sounds super cliche, but it is so much true.
I don't know. You know how every now and then, there is someone that you can see yourself with for the rest of your life? Well, it;s just like that with me. He's that one. And, granted, he does know that I exist. After all, we seem to always be bumping into each other (figuratively, of course).
And I always somehow embarrass myself. I either trip over my own shoe, the flat surface of the school, fall down the stairs, fall out of my chair, or get super hyper so that I have no idea what I actually end up saying, and about every other thing that I could possibly do to embarrass myself.
Normally, girls tend to do this in front of people that are super hot, and super shallow. But he's not like that. You can see in his eyes that he actually cares about people. About what people actually feel. I've seen plenty of guys in my life, from every end of the spectrum possible, and yet I have never seen anyone like him. Never met anyone like him. Never had a chance at anyone like him.
And that doesn't even begin to cover what he does to me. Whenever he's around, I'm hyper-aware of any and every little movement he makes. I hear his name, and my heart double-times it. Talking with him usually leaves me light headed. And there is so much else that I can't even put into words. With as many words as there are in the entire English language, I have yet to find a words that describes everything about this whole situation.
Wow. Looking back at this, I have to admit: DJ does seem to be right. I seem to be in love with him. But it just doesn't feel right to say that I'm in love with him. Major like, definately. But love? I just don't know. This is one of those questions that more than likely won't ever be answered. At least not anytime soon. Oh well. I can't think about it anymore. It's just.....too hard to understand and think about.
Anyone have any kind of advice for me?
♥Dinky (link)
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So you're question is... do you love him?
That is for you to answer. I can't give you a valid answer, sorry.
But what I can say, is that you are one lucky girl to have such a fabulous guy. He seems like Mr. Prince Charming.
My advice to you would be to not focus on that question. Cherish him, be grateful for what you have, not what you might have; love. Love is just a word, it doesn't describe the feeling entirely. There is really no description for love. Just go with your gut instinct and you'll find the answer yourself.
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to get over a guy i was with for 9 months. i still think about him when im not busy. i try to stay busy and since our break up i went on one date, which was like hell because he talked about his ex. lol but i need to get over my ex because i know he has already got over me, he told me himself. i dont look at our old pictures, i dont look at his myspace page, i dont call or text him or look at old memories of us. i just want to stop hurting. (link)
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I know how hard it can be to lose someone you cared deeply for, who you may have loved. But to get over it is even more painful.
Things take time, you will heal eventually. I know it may seem so hard right now, but remember that it will be better. Time heals all wounds.
Try to remember the old days... were they all that great anyways? He talked about his ex frequently and you were jealous. Now, you can move on with your life, you are free. It may hurt now, but once you find that key to happiness, it'll be better.
My advice to you is to find happiness. He wasn't your life, though he might have been a huge part, but he isn't what makes you. You have friends and family that love you. Go out with friends instead of moping or whatever. Find an activity you like and do it.
One day, you'll meet someone who is totally made for you, like you guys were born to be together, and you'll forget all about that guy. But patience is a virtue. You have to learn to walk away from him, away from the hurt and move on with your life. He wasn't everything.
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15/f
Me and my boyfriend have been having some tough times. First of all he lies a lot and then he said he would never do it again once i told him it was his last chance. Well i found out he kept something from me over the weekend. My parents hate his guts but for some reason i still like him after he has betrayed me and lied so many times. I also found out my friend was talking bad about me to him before also. So, im not really sure on what to do. I still have lots of feelings for him even after all this stuff. Please help. thanks! (link)
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I think you've given him too many chances. Just ask yourself this, "Does he really deserve you? Is it worth making yourself miserable for him, after he's lied and cheated several times?"
My personal opinion, dump him. It's obvious he's not the guy for you. He's unfaithful and doesn't feel as strongly for you as you do him. You can always find a better guy who treats you well. A guy who loves you and doesn't take a glance at anyone else. You've been hurt enough, just leave, move on. Sure it will sting for a while, but would you rather get hurt again? This is for you to decide. Only you know what's best.
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i really like this guy and he likes me too but i'm afraid to do anything with him because one of my good friends dated him like 3 months ago and was devestated when they broke up and the other one used to like him but currently has a boyfriend but got a little upset when we were flirting and when i fell asleep on him at a party. i mean, he doesn't like either of them in a relationship kinda way and i don't think its fair if they got pissed at me if we dated...should i ask them anyway? (link)
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I think you should just confront your friends and tell them you like him. If they don't respect that, maybe they're not very good friends. But consider their feelings too. I mean, one of them used to date him, and she still might have feelings for him. As for your other friend, she has a boyfriend, and doesn't like him anymore.
Just talk to your friends and if they're good friends, they'll understand and hope you the best.
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to guys like girls who play hard to get? and how can you play hard to get but at the same time let the guy know that you're interested? (link)
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Playing hard-to-get would just make the guy think you don't like him or he's not good enough for you. It's not like those TV shows where the guy tries his best to win your heart, no, this is reality. The average guy is probably really shy about making the first move and you playing hard-to-get would make him even shyer. Instead, you should try to get closer, but not enough to freak him out. Get to know him better, see if you are compatible. If you are, he may ask you out, or you can ask him out. Shameless flirting might also do the trick.
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Hi!!( This question might be long...SORRY!!)
Okay, well I just recently talked to my boy friend from when I was like...6 or 7. lol We didn't really call each other ... but we were!! His name is Andrew...and than he was very shy,I think he still is to.Our mothers worked together and they became real close friends. So, we met each other...and we seen each other SO MUCH...than he started to like me..and so on. Well, now I'm 13 1/2 and he's 12. I just talked to him at the end of last month and I started to have those type of feelings for him again. So..I told him I liked him and he said we don't really now each other. Well..I told him we can get to know each other better than we can be more than that maybe, and he agreed. Well... I tried to look him up on myspace...his name on there is just andrew...but I can't find him... would any of you like to try to find him? His last name is Vaughn. If, you find him...please tell!! Also, when I text him during the day he doesn't text back...than I text him back and.it's around 9 or 9:30 he talks to me. So...do you think he doesn't like me?? Is he avoiding me?He acted like it...though he told me that he still has a pic of me and when I asked him if he had a girl friend he said no..than I said I didn't have a boy friend than he said "Cool".. So...what do you people think? Also when my friend and I call him he tells me in a text he doesn't like to talk on the phone...I think he is still shy , or do you think he just wants to talk to me? I gave him my email ...do you think he will email me?? He tells me he doesn't get on the computer much. Well...HOW will we get to know each other unless we talk?? I'm so confused!! Please someone give me some advice!! I'm freaking out!!
Thanks for listeing !!
I'll rate fair!! (link)
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Ah, well. I want to comment on your frantic yet positive personality. I noticed that when you said, "Hi!!!" Not many people say that, it's a nice change. I was eager to answer this one.
Well, at the rates boys mature at, he is about 9 or 10 years old. Girls mature earlier than boys do. It's dumb, I know.
I think you should just confront him in person instead of just text. You can't really tell what people are feeling with text, (I know, people think I'm angry when I'm not sometimes.)that way you can see his facial expression and you can guess what he's feeling.
Also, if he doesn't wanna go out, give him some time. He may be shy, or maybe embarrassed. He seems like a hide-behind-the-crowd person. Maybe he just hasn't adapted to the fact that like him that way. Just talk to him. Tell him your feelings (cheesy but it works... sometimes), about how you think he's avoiding you. He might have a reasonable explanation for that.
I hope things work out.
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