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Theres this one inparticular guy (16) that i REALLY like a lot. Ive known him for 2 years and we've been great friends and more. ne wayz, he has problems stayin commited and keeping to one girl. Every time we make out i find out from someone else that he has a girlfriend and I feel like Im helping him cheat. my sister says forget about him, but its not that easy. what do i do?
Your sister is right, you need to leave him alone because everytime he is out cheating he is not thinking about you.
i was dating this guy for about 3 months and things got pretty serious. we spent every day together and he would stay and my house and vice versa. his ex girlfriend called one night and he broke up with me to see if things would work with her and they didnt. he called about a month after we broke up and said that he made a huge mistake for breaking up with me cause i was the best thing that had ever happened to him. we got back together and things were great, actually better than ever or so i thought. one day when she called again he started getting weird again and told me that he once again needed time. i took all of my stuff from his house and said that i wasnt playing second best anymore. i gave him all i had and thought that this was it. that he was the one. and unfortunately im a mess over him. i know he treats me horrible in this situation but ive never been so inlove with someone before. and i dont know what to do. someone just help. please.
Can you not see that he is playing you? If you don't want to play second best, then why are you playing it? You will never be anything other than what you are to him, seconds!
Help yourself! leave him alone and someone that is meant for you will come along.
ok...here was my question before and thanks to all that answered it. "i was talking to this guy i like (he likes me too)about personal stuff, and he said that he was more submissive. and it was really random...do you think he was trying to tell me something, like getting me to make the first move? or was he just saying that."
well i asked him about hanging out and we've been trying to get together...but we cant find a time. and i dont know what to say anymore. i want to be able to say something like "hey since you like me and i like you lets seriously find sometime to hang out." but im the shyest person ever and dont know if i can bring myself to say that...if you have any suggestions that would be awesome! thanks
I know someone JUST like this. It is very hard to pin these type of men down,,literally. You will have to make the first move. You say you talk a lot about personal stuff; don't make it too personal because that is what got me into trouble. It turned out my 'personal' stuff got him thinking and he didn't want to take the chance. Just casually ask him when is he available to 'hang out'.
It's Kevin1986 here with a problem and a couple of questions. I'm friends with two guys,let's say D and J. J used to go out with a girl that I'm very close with,but not dating,although I'd like to. He's pretty obessive,talking about her all the time. Anyway,D used to like her too and they almost went out,but they had a falling out. About a year ago,a new guy,M,goes out with her. I don't care about M and neither do they. J and D want me to tell M that the girl he's going out with is a headtrip because their relationships with her didn't work. I say,it's his bed and it's job to determine whether his girl is crazy or not. I say D and J want me out of the way so they can get her,because I know she'd hate me forever if I tried to break up her relationship. Since I care about her,I want her to be happy even if it's not with me. Your thoughts on this issue? P.S I never really considered telling M this,but I want your opinions on what the real story is.
If they are so 'concerned' why don't they tell this guy about her. Chances are they are not 'concerned' about his situation at all. They don't want him to succeed where they failed. This is nobodys business but the 2 people involved. Leave it there.
I don't know where to begin with so much going through my mind and my heart except to get directly to the point, which I'm sure you would appreciate. How do you stop loving and caring for someone that means so much to you when you don't even know how the relationship ended to begin with? I guess that's a pretty wide open question huh Doctor? Can you even relate to what I'm talking about because to tell you the truth I am so baffled at this point, things in my everyday life aren't even making sense to me anymore. It's like I'm just going through the motions everyday, but at the end of the day not really remembering too much of anything except the constant, nagging pain in my heart, which is really unbearable. I am an adult female who thought she had a pretty good thing going with an adult male. THOUGHT being the key word here. No, everything was not always perfect, but what is? Nothing major that we couldn't handle. We seemed to make each other happy in all kinds of ways that you may not even be able to imagine. I still do believe that the love was mutual and not just one-sided, but maybe I was wrong. He told me he loved me and I believed him. Shouldn't I have believed him? Isn't that what love should be based on, trust? I actually "felt" the love and caring that he had for me so I know that it wasn't one-sided. I totally trusted this man, with my life, literally. We had constant, daily communication that one day just abruptly came to a halt. And I do mean a screeching halt! Not a halt on my part either, but his. With no explanation in any form he just no longer shared any type of communication with me whatsoever. What's that all about? We had a little communication problem the night before everything ended and I was in a position where I could not make him fully understand what all was taking place, no I was not with another man or anything remotely like that, I was just in a position that made it impossible for me to talk at that moment> Let me stop there because I know that's not making sense to you. However I never got the chance to tell him what the whole deal was. And it doesn't look like I ever will. That was the last night that I ever talked to him. I love this man so much more than I ever thought that I possibly could love someone and I know that we would have been so good together and I know that he knows that too. What's the problem then you might ask? As I stated before, he will not answer any of my calls, he no longer calls me, and I don't really know what to think. I do know that he is a very open minded caring person and this just isn't like the man I fell in love with to not let me know what the problem is, so what do I do? Please don't tell me to just simply ask him what happened because like I said, he will not take my calls or contact me. How can anyone be that cold-hearted? He has totally broke my heart, broke my spirit, and yanked my soul right out! The biggest problem that I have is not understanding what happened! Surely you can understand that? He has to know that doesn't he? You can't possibly be in constant contact with someone throughout the entire day, every single day, and then one day just stop all communications and not expect them to question what the hell happened. Obviously he just doesn't want anything to do with me, that's a no-brainer. But until he tells me so and tells me why, how can I ever have any closure with the relationship, or even have any peace for my ever so confused, battered, busted up heart? I miss him terribly. I guess I got that point across pretty well already. On the flip side of this sad, but true story - Right in sync with him just totally ignoring me, this is unreal, but true, all of these men out of my past and some that have been trying to go out with me or come into my life all called in a one-week period. Sad, but true, I'm just not interested. How can I be even remotely interested anyway when nothing has been resolved with him. I will not be interested in anyone in that same way again because I know in my heart that he is the one for me, I know it, and he knows it too. Or maybe not? How do I find out what went wrong when it's impossible to ask anyone a question when they simply won't talk to you? Now how cold is that? Doesn't everyone deserve that much? I know they do, and yes, I know people don't always get an explanation even though there always is one. I don't know how to make you understand that he is just not that "typical" person that just leaves people's hearts hanging without an explanation, or maybe I just have him figured all wrong. Am I a total fool? If so then I'm a fool in love. If that is the case and I am to never get an answer, how do I go on? I can't keep walking around everyday crying, in a freaking daze, with real pains in the pit of my stomach as well as my heart. All of the people who know me know that I smile all the time and am for the most part a happy person always trying to bring a smile to others. But since that day, they all ask me where my smile is, where's that sparkle in my eyes, where's my spunk, where's my love for life? I'm not going to get it back until I know what happened. What do I do? How does one stop loving when they don't even know what went wrong? How do you ever get your mind, heart, and soul "together" again? How do you ever trust again? How do you stop the very real pain? I am a grown woman and this was not a little crush. I took it very seriously as he told me he did too. I did things for him that I had never done for anyone else to try and please him, which ultimately pleased me in doing so. As you can tell my thoughts are all over the place. And like I said I don't see how I can "pull myself together" without answers. This is really, really rough and I don't think he gets that or he would talk with me, right? What to do? How to cope? When does the pain stop? Why did this happen? Why can't I get any answers? How to trust again? When I commit to something or to someone, I really try to give it my all, which is why I get hurt so easily. That, I can answer.
Signed; Desperately Seeking An Answer
You never stated how long ago this was; was it recent? or a few months ago. It makes a difference because if it was just a week or 2, chances are he will communicate when he gets ready but if it was a few months ago, I would have to tell you, try to find out what happened but don't be surprised if you don't. This happened to me and we were married and I had the exact same questions you have. Every day was like death and I couldn't understand how the world kept moving when my world was falling apart. It was a year after my divorce that he told me why. You need closure to what, you will never know until he is ready to talk. But, life will go on and you will go forward. I never thought I would but I did.
I seriously think I might have a problem. I'm goign otu witht his boy and I totally love him. I know I do. The only problem is, once guys start likign me alot and really falling for me I start ebcomign a total bitch. I'll say things on purpose to piss them off or to get them upset. I can't understand why. This isnt the only relation ive been in. Ive been in one for about a year before too and i did the same thing. I'm 18 too. any ideas why this is happening? its kidna like i cant stop either. im starting to think im evil or sumthing.
Maybe you have commitment problems. When things seem to be going good, you get worried and start messing it up before he does. You are not evil, you are probably just not ready for anything serious.
Alright guys.. I dont want you to think i'm some kind of hoe.. or pervert.. But.. here goes.. I'm starting to have feelings for this kid... I won't mention a name.. But.. hes 15 I think. He's a friend of my sisters. I know he likes me... and I'm 17.. I dont know what to do! someone! Please help me!!
You are not a pervert but he is a minor. Leave it alone!
hey okay well i have been going out with my boyfriend for only about a month...well he has only been my like 3rd realy relationship and the only guy outta them 3 that i really really like. in my past ive always been known not to be the girlfriend type just someone to hook up with or do whatever with because everytime i see someone i like or they like me i just wanna hook up with them or do anything else. Im really scared that im gonna cheat on him and i don't want to because im actually starting to fall in love with him! what should i do?
Don't Cheat!
Over the summer I was a counselor at a camp with my friends. This other guy I know also was a counselor. He goes to my school and I started liking him. Turns out he likes me to (he told my friend). He says he doesn't want me to know (too late!) and he doesn't want to ask me out because asking people out is stupid to him. His last two girlfriends were both extremely popular and deemed the 'hotties'. I'm just worried he doesn't want to go out with me because I am not popular. Now I'm not a geek, I'm pretty high up there...but not as high as his ex-girlfriends. Any advice would help.
Well, I'm guessing that if he had girlfriends in the past, he had to have started somewhere...maybe he wants you to ask him out. And, if he told your friend, he wanted it to get back to you.
I am 23 years old. I just moved to California from Alaska with my boyfriend. The problem is, i do not think i love him. I am still in love with my guy friend back home. I am very unhappy in my current realtionship. I told him i wanted to go back home to Alaska. He agreed, but i am afraid once we get there, I will not want to be with him anymore. I want to be happy. My guy friend back home loves me also and i know that he would be with me and we would be happy but i do not want to break my boyfriends heart. What do i do to make this easy for us all?
You can't make it easy for everybody. You have to tell the truth or everybody will be unhappy. In the long run the truth will come out. If you tell your current b.f. now, he will probably stay in California. Remember, you can't go forward based on a lie, everyone loses.
We are constantly getting into petty arguments, that escalate until he is angry and I am upset, sometimes to the point of tears. He blames me, saying I go on too much about things, and I blame him because I feel he doesn't listen or respond to anything I say, or he belittles me and my point of view. He says I belittle him too. I don't really know where to begin but to explain what happened today. We were going out to lunch with our 5-year-old daughter and as we were leaving, he suggested a fish and chips restauraunt called "Tugboat". At first, I agreed, but after we got in the car I said "I really don't feel like fish and chips. Can we go somewhere that has other choices?" I don't recall if he even responded. So I suggested three fast-food places that have fish and chips and other choices as well. He said "I don't want to eat fast food, " in this very hostile tone of voice like I was stupid for suggesting it. I went on to explain that there are heathly things he could get there too, like salad, and that the place he wanted to go was fast food and not healthy anyway. He did not acknowlege my valid point and continued to make negative remarks. He said that he didn't want to eat salad. I said ok then, but they have fish and chips, which is what you said you wanted." Then he got more angry and denied that he said he wanted that. I pointed out that the restaurant he wanted to go to only served that and little else. I explained again that I was just trying to be fair and pick a place we would all be happy with. He just told me to shut up and that he wanted to go home. I couldn't figure out what he was so upset about. Maybe I overexplained my point of view, but I was getting no response from him. At one point, he drove to one of the fast-food places I suggested and said in a very nasty tone "Here is the place you wanted to go. Are you happy now?" No, I wasn't, because I didn't like his attitude, and I said "If you don't want to eat here, just tell me where you'd like to go?" He refused to answer, so I angrily got out of the car and started to walk away, telling him he was being a jerk. I ended up getting back in the car and he told me I was a psycho. I said I wouldn't be acting like this if he didn't treat me like my ideas were stupid, and refuse to tell me where he wanted to go. We then went through the drive-thru of another restaurant, three times, and he kept getting out of the line because I was upset and wanted to talk to him about how I felt. Our daughter was really hungry, as was I, and was getting really upset. Finally, we ended up at a nice restaurant and I calmed down enough to go in, and we had a good lunch, but barely talked. I was still upset and angry. All this took about a hour of wasted time driving around. He still never acknowleged that he was wrong to not respond to me when I asked him where he wanted to go. He did apologise for belittling my suggestions, though, and I admitted that I tend to go on about things, but only if I feel that he is not understanding or acknowledging me. I know that I'm partially responsible for these petty arguments. but I don't know how to change this destructive pattern. My husband just wants to "drop it" and it never gets resolved. We argued about this and many other petty things over and over again and I just want it to stop. I love my husband and I know that he loves me, but sometimes it feels like we are enemies at war, and this is not a good example for our daughter. Also, I am 4 months pregnant, and the stress is not good for me or the baby. Help! And please don't suggest divorce. I am determined to do whatever it takes to save our marriage. Please tell me objectively what each of us is doing wrong. Thanks
The problem here is, you both let things go without resolving them. When there is a problem and no resolution is come to, that problem stays open and is added to and added to until someone literally explodes. There is more here than a misunderstanding about dinner reservations. You 2 have been having disagreements and not resolving them. Just letting them go to the back of your heads. Out of sight but not out of mind. You need a third party intervention because you cannot handle this yourselves or else you would have. Also, this is not healthy for your little daughter as well.