"Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes to simply be human. Maybe, we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate."
Website: It's Like That
E-mail: cranberydreams16@aim.com
Gender: Female
Location: Pennsylvania
Occupation: student
Age: 18
AIM: cranberydreams16
Member Since: September 7, 2007
Answers: 27
Last Update: September 10, 2007
Visitors: 2619
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Okay I have been dating the same guy for 1 year & 3 months. I'm 18 & he is 20. We didn't have sex until 1 day after our 8 month anniversary. When we have sex he always aims to go for my butt instead of the other. Not only that but he always talks baby talk, I mean I know it may be our thing but whatever. If you really think about it at our age thats just weird. Okay here is the thing. It has been 2 almost 3 months since the last time we have had sex the right way. I bug him about it every now & then but not until it really bugs me. Well he had spent the night the other night after he had got off work, his parents were out of town so thats the only way he could stay the night, which is odd, because he is 20 but he still lives at home & doesn't plan on getting married anytime soon. Or moving out of his parents house. Anyhow. The morning after he had stayed the night nothing happened, I mean no kisses no touching nothing. So the next morning I asked him what was wrong & why doesn't he want to have sex with me, & he said sex isn't ever on his mind & it doesn't thrill him like it does other people or me. I barely get kisses. He doesn't even touch me anymore. He won't give me any explanation of why he seriously doesn't wanna touch or have sex with me which kind of makes me think hes gay, but anyways, if anyone knows how I can deal with this or if its even normal for a guy not to want to have sex with someone he says hes in love with. Please give me advice as soon as you can, I will greatly appreciate it.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. He was a virgin up until me & him had sex. That info might help..
-signed Confused One (link)
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Well, it sounds to me like, he may not want to have sex with you because he's gay or maybe still trying to figure out if he is or not. He may love you, but I'm unsure whether he's in love with you. If I were you, I would just ask him straight up. I think he's going through a difficult time right now and will probably need your support as he tries to figure things out for himself. But, ya, it sounds to me like he may be gay. Well, good luck with everything and I hope everything turns out well for you.
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Thanks in advance everyone :>)
Alright. First you should know that I'm the very romantic type and look forward to things like dressing up, going on dates, I want to go sit in a coffee shop with someone and have a nice conversation (too bad im only 14..haha)...and I just love the whole idea of being with someone and having them to talk to and lying under the stars together.... :>)... but I've never had a real boyfriend, almost all my friends are boys though.
alright enough about me. Here's my situation.
My friend, Jenna, has liked my friend Mike since 7th grade when she moved here. Now, Mike is my bestbestfriend. I am really fond of him, too, and was really hoping he'd ask me to homecoming...because it would be romantic/fun/etc. :>)
HOWEVER...Jenna and my friend Katrina are best friends, and Katrina said to me the other day, "you're close with mike, right?" and i said yes. Then she said "do you know who he likes/is planning to ask to homecoming?" and I said, "nope..." she said "I'm trying to help Jenna get him to ask her. We'll need your help too though, she reeeally wants to go with him."
but she barely talks to him and I almost am SURE he is going to ask me...but then if I said yes to him, Jenna would be mad at me, and if I said no, I would feel like I missed a great, fun chance. I know there will be more dances but you know, it's my first high school dance.....Im very excited. (remember, I said i over romanticize everything.. :-P)
So basically, I'm stuck. What should I do? I probably wouldn't have a hard time going with someone else cause someone's bound to ask me, like I said I have a lot of guy friends. but....what should I do? I really wanted to go with mike.
It almost feels like they're completely ignoring my feelings...but Katrina is very very nice, so I'm sure she's probably just oblivious...after all everyone does think of us as just friends so I wouldn't really expect them to think I wanted to go with him...I almost want to tell them but that would be really hard.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. Gosh, just writing that got me all excited. :>) but worried at the same time.
Thank you
:>) (link)
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High school dances are a lot of fun and I understand that you want to go with someone that you'll have fun with. So, if I was you, this is what I'd do. I would go straight to Mike and tell him how you feel. Just say that you know that Jenna wants to him to ask her to the dance, but also tell him that you were hoping he would ask you because you think it'd be a lot of fun to go together. Alert him that he has these two choices for the dance and then let him make the descision. After all, it is his choice and I'm sure he'll make the right one. I hope he asks you and everything works out for you! Good luck and have fun at the dance!!
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so i like this guy he's cute and he's very nice. whenever he smiles...i can't help but smile. I want to get to know him better. i dont really know anything about him. he doesnt have myspace and im not sure if he has aim. But i see quite often during the school day. so im basically lookin for tips on how to get to know him better.
thanks much! (link)
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Well, if you have classes with him, you can simply start up a conversation based on something from class. If you don't have any classes with him, find some way to "accidently" bump into him. You could also ask around. Ask some of your friends about him. I hope his helps at least a little. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you!
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So I'm dating this guy and he lives out of state,and so I was talking to his brother and his brother and him are like best friends and I know he was like a HUGE person into like drugs,so i thought it wasnt that bad becuz he was never like on them when i was talking to him,so today was the first time right? and i love this guy like a lot,more than a lot. and so he was like ok ok whatever to me and i was like i love you and he like always says i love you more but this time he was like ok whatever. so his brother gets on and tells me that his high. and that maybe what would make him stop was if me and him took a break and ireally dont want to, and so i talked to my boyfriend and his like i dont know i really need to get this drug thing over with,i really dont want to take a break but maybes its the best thing,and i dont believe it is, because like me and him have been dating for almost 3 months and me and him are always saying we love eachother and today he commented me saying i want to spend the rest of my life with you,what do i do? I dont want to take a break from me and him becuz i dont want to loose him,adive? help? (link)
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I understand where you're coming from and that is a very tough position to be in. I think though, that taking a break may be best for both of you. His drug addiction is something he has to deal with and get past. I understand that you don't want to take a break from dating him, but don't you think maybe it's for the best? He knows that you love him and that he loves you, so maybe by taking a break he can concentrate on overcoming his addiction. Reassure him that you're there for him and love him, but tell him that he needs to get clean before the two of you can continue on with the relationship. It's like that old saying, if you love someone let them free, if they come back than it was meant to be, and if they don't than it wasn't meant to be. You obviously love him a lot and by taking a break he'll be able to clean up his act and you guys can have an even better relationship than before. I hope this advice helps at least a little bit. Good luck with everything. And remember, what's mean to be will always find a way.
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So there's this kid in my homeroom freshman class ever since the first day of school which was just a three hour orientation day me and him clicked =) and I sortve like him now but there's one problem......he's not in any of my periods and I hardly ever see him in the hall ways so I don't know how to talk to him...don't suggest getting his number because I already have it I just really wanna try and go out with him. (link)
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Well, if you already have his number, why don't you just call him and ask him to hang out? I don't mean to sound rude, but what's the problem here, if you already have his number, just call and ask him out. If you guys already clicked and you know you get along well, just call and ask him to a movie or someting. I don't know if this helps any, but good luck with everything and I hope everything works out for you!
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ok so there is this guy I like and we are friends and I am friends with his older brother too. His older brother got a cell phone and we were texting. He said he liked me and he asked me if I liked him. I said I kind of do but I like your brother more. Then I realized that was so mean. So he got all mad and I texted him back and said I was so sorry and I hope we could just be friends he didn't text me back yet what should I do? Help (link)
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I really don't think there's anything you can do. I'm not sure there are any words that can make him feel better. You already apologized. Maybe you should just give him a couple days and he'll probably get over it. Sorry if this isn't much help, I hope everything works out for you. Boys are just sensitive about things like that, I think space is all he needs right now. I'm sure everything will work out the way it's meant to.
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My best friend is 17 and her boyfriend is 15. They have been going out for a year and a half. She gets hurt a lot by him. Nothing physical or verbal. He always chooses his friends over her. They don't go to the same school either. She always pays for everything and he's the one who has a job. For her birthday, he told her that he would give her this amazing gift & forgot her birthday. Promised to get her something soon and it took about 2 months because she kept mentioning it. It wasn't so much about receiving a gift, but how he says things.. and doesn't mean it or forgets it. His best friends bad mouthed her & he didn't believe her or help. It seems like he only comes by to have sex. His friends are a bad influence. He does whatever his friends tell him to do, like eat garbage. He's also a flake. He avoids talk about the future especially about college and jobs, he refuses to go and he thinks everything will be fine. There's just so much more going on. Yesterday, she was planning to break up with him... she told him that.. And he said nothing at all. When she was talking to him, his best friend called and he just left her there while she was still explaining things! They are still together. She's been with him for so long, that it's rather hard to let go.. I told her those few happy moments together aren't worth it while you are unhappy for the rest. What can I do or say? I've said a lot.. but i guess i don't have the right words? i really want to be there for her. But I'm afraid I'll become too close of a best friend that she would have a crush on me again! (link)
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This is a tough one. Ask your friend if she sees this boy in her future. If the answer if no, then ask why she's with him. This is obviously an unhealthy relationship, she needs to end it. Maybe you should talk to the boyfriend. Ask him what his deal is, if he's not serious about her, than she shouldn't be giving him the time of day. There are so many great guys out there, she shouldn't be wasting her time with this loser. Maybe, you could introduce her to some new boys or some new people. No boy is worth so much drama and if he truly cared about her, he wouldn't be doing all this to her. I hope I helped somewhat and I hope everything works out for your fried. GOod luck!
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I'm getting married next month. (I'm the groom.) I'm extremely excited, but I'm hoping for some outside opinions on a few things.
I love my fiancee very, very much. And I know that the feeling is mutual. Like any normal couple, we have our differences. Some of them irk us slightly, but not enough for it to effect the relationship. However, on rare occasions, we differ enough to cause debate. This is where I need advice.
I'm used to a level playing field where debates are concerned, so I try and only reply with things that are logical. Things that make sense to me. I then usually expect something similar in return. Like an acknowledgment or rejection of my reasoning, followed by the reasoning behind that acknowledgment or rejection, and something to counter it. My wife-to-be doesn't argue this way. Her replies usually consist of "No." or "Absolutely not." or "I don't care." or "If you love me you'll do this."
Occasionally, she'll use her mother to settle it. She'll say "We'll see what my Mom has to say about it.", then she'll call her Mom. If her Mom agrees with her, she takes it as the final end-all word. If her Mom agrees with me, she gets frustrated, and she doesn't ask her Mom to settle things for a while.
Sometimes, I just take the fall. I figure that she is unshakable on the topic, and I choose her over what it is I'm fighting for. For example, I'm no longer a casual beer drinker. In fact, I will not bring alcoholic beverages within 3 feet of my mouth, at all. And I used to really enjoy the occasional Guinness. This is a sacrifice I was willing to take for her.
Another one was with the movie 300. She said that she didn't want that movie in the house, at all. I argued it, and used my pc games as an example, and she said that she didn't want some of those in the house either. In the end, I got rid of some of my games. Oddly, afterward we were watching a movie she owned, and she commented that it was bloodier than 300. Because of this, she has decided that I can have 300 after all.
This was an interesting development. What I observed, was that she realized that her movie was bloody too, so I could have a movie she banned after all. I tried to bring this into later arguments, pointing out things she had or did that were similar. Her reply is usually "Don't bring ME into this."
She tends to be passive aggressive when I'm playing or watching something she doesn't like. I was playing the Bioshock demo on my computer. Previously, she had been in a rather good mood, but afterward, I got looks and the silent treatment. When I asked what was wrong, she denied that anything was wrong, and went back to her bad mood. Clueless, I went back to the game, and this REALLY upset her. I haven't loaded the demo since.
So the latest one confuses me. I would like an Xbox 360. She has refused to allow me to purchase one. We can't afford one right now, but I asked her that in the future, when we have a surplus of cash and I suggest we get one if she will allow it. She declined. Her argument is that we don't need one, and that there aren't any good games for it. I countered with role reversal (Well you don't need a PSP, but you want one anyway. I'm not denying you that.), and a list of games that are actually very good, including some she would probably like. (She's something of a gamer too. Casual. Lot's of Mario.) Still, she refuses to agree to purchasing one later, when the means are there to do so.
That argument isn't what I'm seeking advice on per say (Though it might help.) I'm marrying this woman, and I know that her argument methods won't change. How can I argue with her? Or, better yet, how can I not argue with her and still manage to keep my dignity. (IE: not taking a dive every time we disagree.)
Thanks. (link)
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You guys may need to see a couples counselor or someone equally as qualified. With a future spouse, you should be able to talk about anything. Yeah, definetely talk to someone about the problems you're having. Good luck with everything and I hope everything works our for the two of you.
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14/f
Me and one of my best boy mates have recently got together, I mean very recently, only a few days ago.
And we're both really shy so it's not going anywhere. I mean, we don't really act like we're going out apart from the fact we generally walk around together and hug when we say goodbye.
If we were alone I'd be much more comfortable, but we havn't been alone since we started dating, and I feel really self-conscious in front of everyone else.
What should I do about it?
xxx (link)
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I understand what it's like to be shy, especially around boys that you like. But, you shouldn't be! You're in a realtionship with a guy you really like and who really likes you back. Don't be self conscious, who cares what anyone else thinks about you. You guys are in like and screw what anyone else has to say about it.
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So I'm not sure if this will make sense or whatever but okay.. So I currently have a boyfriend whom I've been with almost 5 months.He's amazing and I'm not planning on breaking up with him anytime soon.I dated a couple guys who I believe I still have feelings for.Is that bad or acceptable if I don't intend on having a (relationship) with.I don't talk to my ex at all anymore.He's in college, doing his thing.I think that's the best because It's been very hard trying to get over him, But anyways.. my ex ex , he's a senior I believe or junior.. I don't know anymore.. I dated him end of freshmen year.Which I'm currently a junior.So that was quite a bit of time ago.I just realized I have "lil" feelings for him basically because everytime I bump into him in the hallways.. i get this weird feelings,But he's a friend.He gives me a hug and messes with me and what not. I don't have any intentions of flirting with him or go any further.I just don't know what to do with those feelings.Just let it go.Even if it's been forever.I just hope if he goes to Homecoming and I go as well, with my boyfriend.. that it isn't awkward and boyfriend be concerned.Anyone have any suggestions? (link)
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It's perfectly normal to have feelings for ex's and those feelings will probably always be there. As long as you have no intentions of dating them again than your boyfriend should have nothing to worry about. You're always going to feel something for your ex, but you know that it's over between the two of you and you're currently in a good relationship. Just make sure to reassure your boyfriend of how much you like him and don't worry abou anything else. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you. P.S. You can't do anything about the way you feel or the way someone makes you feel, so don't feel guilty about having some feelings for an ex, it's beyond your control.
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15/f
ok im in love with my friend bret he'sa junior, about 5ft 11", has deep blue eyes, blonde hair, and farely skinny, dont he sound hot! well weve been hangin out together since i was a fish and now im a sophmore, we play cards together every day after skool, along with his friends, but we always sit by each other, well i always sit next to him. but ive fallen for him, and he doesnt even realize it, i really like him and i dont want my personal feelings to ruin our friendship, so how do i find out if he likes me? one more ? how do i let him know i like him without it being totally obvious/dramatic? (link)
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What you need to do, is spend some one on one time with him. Just hang out, just the two of you. By spending time alone, you'll be able to see if there are sparks and chemistry and all that good stuff. Trust your instincts, just hang out and see where it goes. What's meant to be, will be. Good luck!
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15/f
so right now. im dating this boy matt, and hes a football player and hes like a quarterback and hes really popular, and hot and what every girl wants.
however. i dont. i mean i like him, but i kinda got a crush on this emoish boy, name max. hes soo cute. and he seems so nice.
i guess im just sick of dating jocks, who just want to show me off in the halls like im some prize or something. like my boyfriend doesnt even like listen to what i say sometimes. its so annoying.
what should i do (link)
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You're 15 years old, you're not married, if you're unhappy in this relationship, dump him. Don't be with someone who makes you unhappy. These are the best years of your life, enjoy them, date around. Be with someone who will listen to you and make you feel special, not someone who shows you off like a piece of meat. Hope this advice helps! Good luck with everything!
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I know this is going to sound really skanky but, I gave this guuy head a few days ago, and when he cummed I swallowed a little bit, but then spit the rest out. Now there's this rumor going around he has an STD, can I get it from swallowing just a little bit of his cum!?
pleasee helppp.
(link)
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You can contract an STD from oral sex. So, if he has an STD, you may have contracted it as well. You should definetely go to a doctor to get it checked out. Even if it is just a rumor that he has an STD, better to be safe than sorry.
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14/f
So i really like this kid and my friend does to. He is new to this school so there is a lot I dont know about him but from what i do know he is really funny and sweet. Not to be concieted, i am one of the more pretty popular girls in my school because im nice not because im intimidating or manipulative. So my friend is in lower math with him and I am in higher math and the way things work out is that she is in 2 other classes with him and without me to give him more attention than i could. No offense to her but she isnt one of the more attractive girls and i just really need a way to get him to notice me. BADLY i have been single for way to long because my recent crush isnt allowed to have a girlfriend because of his parents but he is bring a jerk lately.
Thanks! (link)
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Well, I see the predicament you're in. You like a boy that your friend may like as well. I don't think you should go out of your way to get him to notice you. Showing off and playing games tend to deter boys, instead you should just be upfront with him. You seem confident with yourself and who you are, so, simply be yourself and just ask him to hang out. Don't make it a date, that might scare him off, just make it a casual get together. Some one on one time with him will give you both a chance to decide whether you like each other enough to start a relationship. Hope this advice helps at least a little! Good luck!
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(its long but please read it. please? ill be very greatfull :-))
For the longest time sense Late 7th grade i liked this Guy, (whos name shall not be known) Wow. i loved everything about him. everything. but he was popular. and i wasent. buti liked him so much, he was like diffrent from all the other guys, and me likening him so much and him not even knowing i exsisted jusst killed me. i was despreate to get his attention. my friend told me just to try and talk to him. so I did. in art, he had this painting he said his grandpa made and shared it in class, when he wass walking towards me my heart was pounding so hard, with him just looking at me. thten i asked him questions about it. later i wenet over to his table complimeanting his painting. thhen lateer he even came over and complimented mine! days went by. i sunk so low for attention i purpously fell of my chair, just for him to ask if i was ok. He did, my side hurt alot, but hearing his voice was worth it.We did holligrams for holloween, and i sent him one. i was afraid he would laugh and tell all his friends and make fun off me. but nothing happened. Mabyee he didnt get it. i thought. IN science me and my group were in the hall working at a table, when our teacher came out he went over by me and the teacher, held on my chair and asked the question. AMAZINGLY another time in science we had to make partners oposite gender. we were the only two left. it was werid beacuse hee was popular, couldnt he find one? we worked together! i liked him so much, when he threw his paper away, i kept it.to go home and stare at his writeing. wow, i feel like a stalker, lol anyway, hee kept staring at me in chior, or so i thought as days went by, i figgered he was looking at this otheropoular snotty girl behind me. at lunch he had to tell the lunch lady somthing i guess as he went by our table he stopped and stared at me for about 5 secounds. then left, my friend next to me argued he was staring at her. wow, i love him. he is evereything. i am homschooled now. i think about him every single day for a while, but now i never see him. I have ea choice to go back to that school or go to another next year, and be popular there. But he wont be there. he probly doesnt eveen like me. Mabee it was a cowincadince (however you spell it.) Maybee he thinks im weird. Maybee its nothing at all. nothing. it might just all be inside my head. i like him so much but i know i could never be with him. a guy like him would never be with a girl like me. why am I wasting my time? but i cant help thinking about him. but it doesnt matter, he'll never like me...right? (link)
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First of all, never ever let a guy feel like you're not worth it. Because you are worth it and remember that. Secondly, you need to stop worrying and just ask him out. Yes, I know, you can't do that, you'd just die of embarssment if he said no. But the thing is, he may be crushing on you just as much as you're crushing on him and how will you ever know if you don't just ask him? Life is wayyy to short to not go after what you want. You need to get over your fear and just confront him. Worse case scenario he says no and you'll be no worse off than you are now. Best case scenario he says yes and you guys end up really hittiing it off. I know what it's like to have a crush on someone that you think would never like you back, but you just have to go for it. Life is a series of risks, don't sell yourself short. Be confident in who you are, know that you're brilliant and that if he turns you down, than he's not worth it and there's plenty of fish in the see. P.S. Don't assume he doesn't like you. Assuming makes an ass out of you and me!! Trust your heart and go for it girl!
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I'm sorry if this is kinda long.
I've been going out with my bf for about 6/7 months now, and he was a virgin before and I wasn't. About two months into it we had sex, mainly initiated by me, and it's like he can't get enough of it! I just basically played up to it at first. About a month ago we had just had sex and I told him I loved him because I did. He went quiet for like a few minutes and then he said that he would wait until he truly meant it to say it to me, blah blah blah. This hurt me but as he was only being mature I just accepted it. Ever since then he never gives me any compliments that isn't to do with me being sexy or being good at something sexual etc, he although he does hang out with me if sex isn't involved I clearly get the vibe that he's not having much fun and if there is ever a possibility for something like that we WILL do it. I'm beginning to feel like I'm being used. The thing is, I do genuinely love him, and I'm wondering if I'm just being oversensitive cos he didn't tell me he loved me - he's got a reputation as being this really nice and decent guy, and it's not like he pressured me into sex to start with! It would really upset me if I had to split up with him! There's this other guy I've been chatting to a lot recently who's really nice to me and I think he likes me for the right reasons as well - I would NEVER cheat on my bf but it's opening up my eyes to what's out there. As you see I need some help :( Thank you! .xoxo
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First of all I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm going to assume you're older than 13 but younger than 20. It seems to me that your boyfriend is simply being a horny teenage boy. It seems genuine when he states that he wants to wait till the right time to say I love you, because he wants to mean it. I believe he is telling you the truth. However, it seems like all he's after righ now is sex and it seems like you're looking for something more than just sex. You're young, you're not married, and you're becomming interested in another guy. So, here's what I think you need to do, be straight up with him, simply ask is this relationship going anywhere, or is it only based on sex? If all he wants is sex, maybe you should cut the strings with him and pursue a relationship with someone looking for the same things you are. If he wants more than sex, smack him upside the head and tell him that he better step it up. I really hope my advice helps and good luck with everything!!!!
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