If I haven't been there, my BFF has--ask me anything you want!
Gender: Female
Occupation: i WILL be a superspy (someday)
Age: 14
Member Since: July 11, 2012
Answers: 16
Last Update: July 13, 2012
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um hi, im new here, so hello every1! well im in a bit of a mess as iv started post traumatic stress disorder therapy just recently as i witnessed my elderly dad beaten to death + i cudnt stop it. im 33 with 2 children. i have been with a guy for just over 15 months. hes almost 38 with no kids and lives with his mum. he keeps saying he lives with me but he leaves everyday to go c his mum, she is well and only 61. im also bipolar and told him frm the start that life can b a little difficult with me. i was honest frm day 1. he told me im his miss rite etc, but he takes his stuff at least once a wk. i told him that if he left again +took all his stuff there wud b no coming back. well i had therapy yesday+ was in a bad way + this morning he packed his stuff+ sed he loves me but he cant do this anymore. im in a mess+ dont kno wat 2 do. do i ignore him + not contact him? pls giv me sum advice. thank you x
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I think it's best to put some distance between you two for a while, at least a week, but no longer than a month. Both of you just need to chill out for a bit. It's not a good idea to be in a not-so-steady relationship after all that stuff with your dad, so maybe you should just start over as friends. It's great that you were so honest with him, so I'm sure he's just feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything that's been going on. Like you said, he said he loves you, so just give him some space so he'll calm down. If you blame yourself for the accident with your dad (and who wouldn't, really?) and talk about it all the time, it may be bothering him. I'm sure no one blames you but yourself, and to tell the truth, I don't think very many people would have been able to stop it, and certainly not me. So dont worry. I'm sure he still loves you and that he just needs some space for a while. Give it to him, and then take it slow and see where it takes you.
Good luck!
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hi u jsut answered my question .. but i woudl also like to mention that ... he only asked meh that question because we were talking bout long distance relationship... if it ll work or not ..n to that i said it is difficult but not impossible n he is like ya it ll work .. i just dont understand .. he is moody sometimes n then sometimes he is vry caring ... but that question he asked meh .. if we ll be freinds after breakup if long dist rela doesnt work out.. just pinched meh ... n i dont rll know how to deal with it. I though i should just go with the flow .. .. the thought of breaking up with him is vry difficult for meh .. cause .. we have been through soo much .. n i ll luv him .. n i slept with him .. which makes it even more difficult for meh to break up! now wat should i do? (link)
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Don't worry about this so much! If he wants assurance that you'll still be friends even if you break up, that means that he really loves you a lot and doesn't want to be separated from you, even if you aren't TOGETHER together. Believe it or not, that's a good sign, because at this point he probably thinks YOU'RE getting tired of your relationship, so he's worried YOU'LL break up with him, and he doesn't want to lose you, and even if you aren't a couple, he still wants to be near you. You just have to assure him that you DO love him, and I don't mean through words or sex. Do something special for him—I don't know him so don't know what he'd like exactly, maybe a date to his favorite restaurant or something—to show that you care, and he won't feel as unsure of your feelings. (also tell him how you feel, but not in a really sappy way, because if I were a guy I wouldn't exactly like that)
Good luck!
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HI pls help meh out .. i have a bf n we have been dating for bout 9 months ..at the beginning he used to talk bout all .. how we should have kids n we should marry ... n then .. after we had sex .. not saying only after sex .. but for a month .. its been weird ... everytime i talk bout that he is like .. we ll c .. dont know ... dont think too much .. n then i was like so ur not planning to marry meh n he said i ll be bored to death if we talk bout this .. so i cant talk bout anything i like ... since we r going to uni in bout a month in completely different country .. do u think i should break up with him or should i try to continue it with him? i cry sometimes .. cause wat he says just hurts meh sometimes .. n i m a vry emotional girl .. so m worried .. does he wnts to continue .. n yesterday he asked meh ... if we break uo will we still be freinds .. n all i said was maybe .. so? wat shall i do? (link)
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I'm really sorry to say this, but I'm almost positive he wants to break up with you. Judging from what he asked you about still being friends if you break up, he wants you to be the one to end it.
If you're having doubts about whether he really cares about you and wants a future with you, then, if you don't want to end it, you should talk to him. Maybe you shouldn't go out of the country with him, if you're so uncertain.
But to get straight to the point, I don't think any girl should have to deal with a boyfriend who makes her cry from him saying mean things. Loving someone shouldn't be about stuff like that.
Since he asked you if you'll still be friends, that means that he really does like you as a person, but maybe not as a girlfriend anymore. If you do break up, don't give up on him! Still be his friend (even if that's a degradation of your pride) and maybe someday you'll get back together again. Or, who knows, maybe you'll meet someone even better who won't ever make you cry.
Good luck!
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Is it possible to end up with someone if it started out with sex?
I know it's always better and relationships work out better when you take it slow. But what if it was the total opposite? Do you think it could still work? (link)
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There's always a chance, if you really love each other. But to be honest, those kinds of relationships rarely work out, even in the movies, and movies are practically an alternate reality where anything is possible. Still, don't give up. Like I said, anything's possible with love, even with odds like yours.
Hope this helped:)
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well im a female, 18.
me and my boyfriend broke up around 3/4 days ago, well he ended it :'( he ended it cause he says he don t trust me any longer..
we were dating for like 1 year :(
the reason he ended it with me is because i forgot to mention one detail that happened to me when i was 14 ... he says he cant trust me anymore that im a liar.
well my point is , when a guy shows he doesnt care anymore , is that when he still cares the most?
+ im his first love, like inside me i know he cant forget me , and i honestly dont want to move on , when my heart feels something like this for him..
we all make mistakes and choices.
ah this is so harddd:'( (link)
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(LOL ur the same person from earlier i think)
Just take it slow with him. Tell him the truth in every situation (unless he asks you something obviously untrue, like, "Is my mom pretty")(not that I would know, but that's just not the point) and you'll eventually gain his trust again. You sound like you really do like him, and I know for certain those feelings aren't lies. From what you said before, it sounds like he really likes you still. He's just confused and hurt that you've lied to him. Talk it over, and I mean in person--not even FaceTime will cut it, as soon as possible and explain things to him. Don't expect things to go back immediately to the way they were--that's utterly impossible and improbable--but be patient, and maybe they'll turn out even better than before. Just make sure you're always on the same page--don't forget to mention anything important, although I know how easy it is to forget something you want to not remember. Cheer up. If you love each other, you'll pull through. If you don't, well, he didn't deserve you anyway.
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Hello im 18, female. well me and my ex boyfriend dated for around 1 year, and we had a break like 2 weeks ago, then we got back. but he finished it with me :(
Basically i always tell my boyfriend everything, and on saturday night he found out something about me from when i was 14, (sexual) and well i didnt tell him, he got really put off and told me that im a liar, he said that he dont trust me.
Yet i tried to explain myself and nothing, he said that it 'grim' being with a liar :( how without any trust we wont work. But honestly theres just certain things i cant always tell people.
I love him, im his first love our break up has been so hard when he said 'were finished' :'( i dont know whether he regrets it or not. But it hurts like hell, i have no idea if we'll ever get back, i have lied to him before , but i always fight for this rs to make it right, i know i committed a mistake but il do anything to make it right.
we aint spoken since he ended it... do u think it hurts him that he ended it? like i know he loves me, everything was going so amazing when we got back :'(
i miss him, please tell me what i can do?
thankyouu
appreciate it (link)
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OF COURSE IT HURTS HIM!!!
Didn't you just tell me, and I quote, "I know he loves me, everything was going so amazing"?!?!
I broke up with my BF, I felt basically no attachment to him, and my heart still felt like it was breaking. So I pretty much know he's feeling bad.
As they say in zen movies, "The answer is within." Girl, you already have this figured out. Just tell him what you told me just now, and I'm more than certain he'll understand.
One more thing, and this is REALLY IMPORTANT!!!
I don't know what he found out about your past, but WHATEVER YOU DO, don't you DARE say ANYTHING along the lines of "I thought it wasn't important," or, "I was trying to forget about it," or, "I really have changed!" or, "I just looove you soooo much and I didn't want to looooose you!" (depending on the situation, sorry to be harsh, but I had to make a point there)
THIS WILL ONLY MAKE HIM MAD.
Instead I suggest TELLING TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH, because in the end, that's all that stands. If it made you embarrassed and you didn't want him to hate you, TELL HIM. Tell him what happened, why it happened, and why you didn't tell him, and he'll understand. Don't be worried. He loves you, remember.
(Be quick about it, too. Boys won't stick around forever, no matter what they say in Trashy Romance Novels.)
(THIS PART IS AFTER YOU ASKED ANOTHER ? EARLIER)
You really need to think about this. Do you WANT to get back with him? Do you miss him? Or, and I sometimes find this helpful, look at it from another point of view--would life go on without him as my boyfriend? Would I be okay without him? You have to take all things into consideration with this. But if you do end up together, don't lie to him again! Being in a relationship with someone means trusting that person with everything, and the reason he's being cold to you is probably because he doesn't know whether he can trust you or not. Gaining his trust again will definitely be hard, I won't try to sugarcoat it, but you can do it! Just be yourself, and tell him anything you'd want him to tell you.
Hope this works!
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My neighbor is dating my ex-boyfriend.I dated this guy for a really long time. He even stalked me for awhile, and hes only dating her too upset me. I don't care what he does anymore, Ive moved on, but it kills me to see her get used. Ive told her everything but shes 15 and wont listen. My ex however, is 19. I'm not comfortable seeing the two of them together.
My question is, how can her to realize he's only using her?
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YOU HAVE TO CONVINCE HER!
If you just go to the boy and tell him straight out, "Break up with her," he'll just be encouraged to like you more! But whatever you do, don't say something like, "He's using you because he wants to make me jealous," because in real life, people get ticked off about that stuff (been there, done that).
MAKE her listen, for Chrissake!
And, in all honesty, even if she doesn't listen, you should still be there for her all the way (but don't be creepy...).
And if you still want her as a friend when this is over, don't you DARE tell her "I told you so."
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