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my partner has left me once again
um hi, im new here, so hello every1! well im in a bit of a mess as iv started post traumatic stress disorder therapy just recently as i witnessed my elderly dad beaten to death + i cudnt stop it. im 33 with 2 children. i have been with a guy for just over 15 months. hes almost 38 with no kids and lives with his mum. he keeps saying he lives with me but he leaves everyday to go c his mum, she is well and only 61. im also bipolar and told him frm the start that life can b a little difficult with me. i was honest frm day 1. he told me im his miss rite etc, but he takes his stuff at least once a wk. i told him that if he left again +took all his stuff there wud b no coming back. well i had therapy yesday+ was in a bad way + this morning he packed his stuff+ sed he loves me but he cant do this anymore. im in a mess+ dont kno wat 2 do. do i ignore him + not contact him? pls giv me sum advice. thank you x
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I am so sorry. I can't imagine how horrible that is. I am so sorry. I will pray for you. You have to many things on your mind right now. I am only 13 years old, and I know you won't take this to heart, but he will be back. Men don't know what they want. Ignore him for a while and don't worry about it. He will be back. All men do that. You should be worrying about getting better. If he is not helping you or supporting you, why worry about him?! I don't think you should be with him if he can't take of your kids, take care of you, or be there to help you.
~Farrah:)
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Man, that's -horrible-. You've had a hell of a hard time, haven't you? Good on you for doing therapy -- it takes a lot of strength to begin to heal something that's been hurting you so badly.
As for the guy, you talk a lot about what he said he feels, but you haven't actually said anything about what you feel for him? Really, think about that. What is he to you? Do you still get fluttery in your stomach when you think of him? I realize he may be a great guy, but that doesn't necessarily make him the -right- one.
You call him a partner: is he being one to you? Is he being supportive? Taking care of you when things are at your worst? You and him against the world, right? Because if he's not taking care of you, then why are you -with- him?
Problems aren't solved by him packing up his things and pretending to move out because things aren't going his way. If you honestly believe he's the -right- one, then he may need some time to get his act together. (And, honestly, he'd need to start going to couples therapy to learn how to face problems like an adult rather than a little boy.)
But if you're sitting there thinking "What am I doing?", do yourself a favour and just let him go. Life's too hard as it is to have some guy that's just -there-. After hearing everything you've said, I can see you're a strong woman. You -deserve- someone who appreciates that, not someone who isn't willing to fight for you emotionally like you've been fighting for him.
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I think it's best to put some distance between you two for a while, at least a week, but no longer than a month. Both of you just need to chill out for a bit. It's not a good idea to be in a not-so-steady relationship after all that stuff with your dad, so maybe you should just start over as friends. It's great that you were so honest with him, so I'm sure he's just feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything that's been going on. Like you said, he said he loves you, so just give him some space so he'll calm down. If you blame yourself for the accident with your dad (and who wouldn't, really?) and talk about it all the time, it may be bothering him. I'm sure no one blames you but yourself, and to tell the truth, I don't think very many people would have been able to stop it, and certainly not me. So dont worry. I'm sure he still loves you and that he just needs some space for a while. Give it to him, and then take it slow and see where it takes you.
Good luck!
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