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:( need someone to understand..
Hello im 18, female. well me and my ex boyfriend dated for around 1 year, and we had a break like 2 weeks ago, then we got back. but he finished it with me :(
Basically i always tell my boyfriend everything, and on saturday night he found out something about me from when i was 14, (sexual) and well i didnt tell him, he got really put off and told me that im a liar, he said that he dont trust me.
Yet i tried to explain myself and nothing, he said that it 'grim' being with a liar :( how without any trust we wont work. But honestly theres just certain things i cant always tell people.
I love him, im his first love our break up has been so hard when he said 'were finished' :'( i dont know whether he regrets it or not. But it hurts like hell, i have no idea if we'll ever get back, i have lied to him before , but i always fight for this rs to make it right, i know i committed a mistake but il do anything to make it right.
we aint spoken since he ended it... do u think it hurts him that he ended it? like i know he loves me, everything was going so amazing when we got back :'(
i miss him, please tell me what i can do?
thankyouu
appreciate it
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You should explain your side of things. Tell him that you're usually closed off about certain intimate details about your life and that it's difficult to share them with people. You didn't necessarily lie, you just didn't tell him every single detail. He can't expect you to list off every detail about your life, it should just come up in conversation and you mention it. Anyway, I'm sure it hurts him inside, and you both feel upset. Sit down and talk to him, and see how it ends up. In the end, if you don't end up together, you have to learn from it and move on. It will hurt, a lot, but he might not be who you end up with, and that's okay. Just be honest, and see if you can work it out.
Hope this helps, keep me updated!
xx
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OF COURSE IT HURTS HIM!!!
Didn't you just tell me, and I quote, "I know he loves me, everything was going so amazing"?!?!
I broke up with my BF, I felt basically no attachment to him, and my heart still felt like it was breaking. So I pretty much know he's feeling bad.
As they say in zen movies, "The answer is within." Girl, you already have this figured out. Just tell him what you told me just now, and I'm more than certain he'll understand.
One more thing, and this is REALLY IMPORTANT!!!
I don't know what he found out about your past, but WHATEVER YOU DO, don't you DARE say ANYTHING along the lines of "I thought it wasn't important," or, "I was trying to forget about it," or, "I really have changed!" or, "I just looove you soooo much and I didn't want to looooose you!" (depending on the situation, sorry to be harsh, but I had to make a point there)
THIS WILL ONLY MAKE HIM MAD.
Instead I suggest TELLING TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH, because in the end, that's all that stands. If it made you embarrassed and you didn't want him to hate you, TELL HIM. Tell him what happened, why it happened, and why you didn't tell him, and he'll understand. Don't be worried. He loves you, remember.
(Be quick about it, too. Boys won't stick around forever, no matter what they say in Trashy Romance Novels.)
(THIS PART IS AFTER YOU ASKED ANOTHER ? EARLIER)
You really need to think about this. Do you WANT to get back with him? Do you miss him? Or, and I sometimes find this helpful, look at it from another point of view--would life go on without him as my boyfriend? Would I be okay without him? You have to take all things into consideration with this. But if you do end up together, don't lie to him again! Being in a relationship with someone means trusting that person with everything, and the reason he's being cold to you is probably because he doesn't know whether he can trust you or not. Gaining his trust again will definitely be hard, I won't try to sugarcoat it, but you can do it! Just be yourself, and tell him anything you'd want him to tell you.
Hope this works!
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