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Q: Do you know a romantic way to ask someone out and to a dance?
~Aaron Leung
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Find out something about this person that not a lot of people know, and ask him/her out in a way that concerns this new piece of information.
E.g.:
This girl, she likes banana popsicles.
Buy her one, and write "will you go to the dance with me" on the stick.
I do realize how stupid this sounds, but it's two birds with one stone : 1. you show her how much you know her
2. you tell her clearly that you care and want to date her.
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Q: well i like this guy a lot but he has a gf n he says he likes me too well at least thats what he tels mee but i dono if hes lien n stuff soo is that one of the player type of sayings or... what is it ?????
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I seriously suggest you learn how to type correctly before engaging in ANY kind of relationship. If you want to be taken seriously, there has to be an effort made.
I don't think you should stick yourself in this "He already has a girlfriend BUT OF COURSE HE LOVES ME" situation. It's naive, and it's dangerous. If he doesn't break up with his girlfriend for you, he's not worth it. If he breaks up with his girlfriend for you, what tells you he won't pull the same trick on you a few weeks (heck, days) (heck, hours) later?
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Q: Hey. I'm 13/m and I accept none of that "teenagers don't know love" crap. Maybe most teenagers don't, but I'm not most teenagers. I had a friend from science class. Long story short, over the summer, I realized that I loved her, I told her, she didn't love me back, I experienced The Void, and pretty much every new true emotion, I couldn't get her out of my head, and then when school started, things were awkward. I can't think of any other way to describe it. It just felt awkward. Anyway, I talked to her about that yesterday, and she agreed. So now we just forgot anything ever happened and we're back as regular friends now. I had felt like crap for a really long time, and I seemed to screw absolutely everything up. Well, now that all this pressure is off of me, I feel a lot better and I'm back to my regular happy goofy self again. Which is good. Except I feel strangely empty inside. Just a tiny pit of blackness in my happy heart. It feels nothing like The Void at all. Just... emptiness. Why? What is it? What's all this about? Thanks in advance...
By the way, here are my standards on your answers: I will NOT always rate a 5, I will rate whatever I find appropriate. I will not always rate anyway, but I will try. I will not hesitate to give you a 1 or report you, I have been responsible for a number of permanent bans. So no smartass answers. And just a matter of personal interest, try to use proper grammar. Please.
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My brillant answer goes as follows.
1. There is no such thing as "teenagers don't know love". Personally, I think love doesn't fall from the sky, but is built from scratch. Every little feeling you experience for someone else counts towards that definition of love, be it a junior high crush or the one you end up marrying.
2. What you're experiencing, I would call the void, not The Void. I think The Void occurs when you truly dedicated your heart to someone and saw it crushed with your own eyes, it's a feeling that robs you of all thoughts except the one that tells you what you're missing. However, since you realized that you are also missing her friendship, your Void was divided into two, the fact that she didn't appreciate you romantically, and the fact that she was your friend, and you communicated freely. Now that the awkwardness has been overcome, your Void has become a simple void, because there's a part of your feelings that have been filled, whilst the other half of you probably still lingers on the fact that you (maybe) still love her. It's the feeling of missing out on something, but not knowing what exactly, because you SEEM to have what you temporarily wanted.
To be quite truthful, I think you're older than your age. I think you'll be able to fill this void soon. Just ... stay in touch with your emotions, but don't let them control you, and don't dwell in the rainy, black corners of your heart.
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Q: My guy friend needs help. He was just on the phone with me ( cause he knows about my site and figured i could help ) and said that theres this girl that he really really likes, but this other girl that he dates ( not a relationship, just dates ) likes him, but he doesn't like her anymore. And he told me she cries to him sometimes on the phone and that she says she doesn't want to lose him and such and he doesn't want to be a jerk, but he doesn't know what to do, and I don't know how to answer. Please help.
Love,
Mel
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Being honest with someone does not make you a jerk. Perhaps the girl is too sensitive and emotionally attached, perhaps he saw their relationship as "simple dating" when she saw it as "love of my life", but either way, it doesn't matter; if he isn't honest with her, it won't make her feel better eventually, and it'll make his OWN life miserable. I think in some cases one has to go with his intuition and do what feels like the right thing, for himself as well as for those concerned. I think your friend should just tell girl #2 that he's not interested, that he doesn't want to hurt her feelings, without necessarily mentioning that there "is someone else." It'll probably make things easier.
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Q: well i have like more guy friends then i do girlfriends, and my brother is always calling me a whore because i hang out with them and not any girls.. and the other day i had my boyfriend over and my brother knew he was my boyfriend and he was like, "oh did you tell jake about your 100 other boyfriends?" and now hes all mad at me.
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1. Your brother sounds insensitive, and assholish.
2. Your boyfriend sounds over-reactive, and assholish.
3. You need to have a talk with both of them, together, and sort this all out.
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Q: hi, i'm a 19/f and i'm in a little bit of a predicament. i've been with my boyfriend for a couple of years now which is great, but i think that as time passes us by, we're slowly getting into a rut.
like you know when you first date someone you get butterflies and those mushy feelings when you're around them? i know those feelings are temporary, but i feel as if our relationship resembles more of a friendship rather than an intimate bond.
what i'd like advice on is if there is anything i can do to put the spark back into our relationship?
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You know what? Relationships aren't always the butterflies & mushiness -- sometimes there's a feeling of comfort that settles in, where you know you are at ease with the other person. So it isn't necessarily a bad thing at all. I think for the spark... go do things together you'd never done before. Be spontaneous, and show new aspects of yourself to you guy. You have to stimulate each other as much psychologically as physically, for it to work.
. Tracy
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Q: ok here it goes its kinda long but i really need your help.
i have this friend she is like my best friend thats what she calls us... doesnt mean she is...
well her boyfriend broke up with her a while ago. she still hasnt gotten over him. she still loves him. i've talked to him on the phone and i asked him if he still likes her and he said no. and i was like well who do you like? and he kept saying no one until he said "me" i was like stop playing and he says im not playing i like you. and i kept saying no your joking and he goes no i like you, you dont belive me? and at school he always tells me he loves me, and he gives me hugs, and once he called me his girlfriend. i went to the movies last nite and he was there... he asked me to sit next to him, and i said ya ok. and at the movies he put his arm around me and he kept telling me he loves me and he gave me a kiss on the cheek. i like him to a lot. but i dunno what is he trying to do, does he like me? i think he does, but im not sure. he askes me if i love him and i say yes sometimes mostly i dont answer and wen i say yes he asks me why? and what should i do about it? he flirts with other girls to. so please help me, and tell me what does this mean?
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I think you said it yourself--he flirts with other girls. I doubt that if he "loved" you, like he said, he would go and flirt with other people. This is not to mention how fucking insensitive this guy seems to me, having just broken up with your best friend. There are things to be done and things to be done AFTER a certain break-up time, and he doesn't seem to grasp the importance in the difference. I think this guy isn't worth all that much - I mean put yourself in your girl friend's place: would you really like to go out with a guy, knowing that the moment you break up he goes and flirts with gazillions of other people?
. Tracy
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Q: f/19
My bf and I have been dating for about a month now and he recently told me that he thinks hes in love with me. I'm kind of turned off by that because its so soon. He keeps asking me how I feel and I told him I'm not sure, I'm not in love with him, what should I do.
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To be direct -
I think you should stop leaving him place to stick his high hopes. Cut to the truth and leave out all the insecurity, blah blah. Just tell him that you're not ready for the love declaration.
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Q: 20, male.
Okay, the girl I'm going out with and I are sitting watching TV. We've only been dating for a few days, but I've been her friend since before elementary school. She mentions a mutual friend was talking about a movie that we passed. So I, the idiot that I am, accidently call her by the friend's name. She pulled away from me for a few seconds, and then went into my arms again.
I explained that it was only because she mentioned her name seconds before, but is that enough? Should I try to explain in detail that I have no feelings for this other girl or should I drop it?
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Heh. This situation seems to embarrass everyone I meet.
I think you should just drop it, and mention that girl as less as possible in the following days, so that the ideas your girlfriend might have came up with have the time to disappear, and she has the time to trust you completely.
If she mentions it though, be completely honest, and make sure she knows that.
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Q: I am 23 yr.old guy & in love to a girl of29 for the past 5 yrs.We never love physically.After a long fight her parents are ready but not mine.I have got 2 sisters,both are elder & one is married.I dont want to marry now as i am not stable now.I am just getting 7000/pm.She is also working.I am the only son of my parents.I dont want to leave my parents.I want my sister to get married before me.But her parents want shurety.My mom hates her.What should i do? I cant leave her and cant leave even my parents.I love both of them. What should i do?
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Marriage is a thing that doesn't concern the parents AT ALL, in my opinion. So fuck that. I think if you're not ready for marriage and she is, just make sure she knows (and understands!) why you're not ready to marry her. Mention the money you make and the issues that come up. Make sure she knows that you love her more than a simple declaration and civil union, I guess. In between all this, try to come to a compromise between your family and hers. Mention Romeo and Juliet, if that helps.
. Tracy
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Q: ok so i like this guy, and hes an older guy (hes a junior, and im 15). he flirted with me alot, and at first i didnt like him all that much, but then i discovered that i did like him. ow i like him A LOT! when he was flirting wit me, we were hanging out at luch, but now, he doesnt hang out with me anymore, so i neva see him. how can i get him to notice me without seeming obnoxious? thanx
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I don't think seeing him or asking him to see you would sound obnoxious at all. Notice or no notice, I doubt he'd ignore your existence if your face popped up beside his. Just ask if he wants to hang out sometime -- sound casual and suave (ha) and relax - it should feel like asking a new friend to hang, no biggy.
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Q: (16/f) I've been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months now and I really do love him. Its just that he doesnt trust me at all. Just because of things people tell him. People dont like the fact that we're going out because we're in an inter-racial relationship. So they make things up to try to get us to break up. I know that they're lying but he doesnt. He just doesnt trust me and I'm constantly telling him not to believe them and " No I didnt flirt with so-and-so today." Im so sick of trying to get him to believe me. He also makes me feel guilty for things I did before we started going out. Im tired of it and I try telling him this but he just doesnt stop. It's getting to the point where we're fighting most of the time instead of getting along. I love him so much and I dont want to have to break up but I want to be happy instead of being sad all the time now. I just dont know if its at the point where I should end it or not. Please help me out I dont know what to do... thanks in advance.
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As much as I want to help you... this is completely up to you. Balance out the pros and the cons, the love with the fighting. It sounds to me that you're in a pretty hard-headed relationship, and a lot of things are being jeopardized. Maybe he doesn't see how much this is getting to you.
I suggest you have a long talk with your boyfriend, tell him that the fact that he doesn't trust you hurts your relationship more than your love can take. See if he's willing to give up his dignity and admit he's wrong. If he doesn't... maybe you're much much better off without him there to sadden your life.
. Tracy
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Q: so today i asked a guy i really like to be my b/f and he said yes after keeping me in suspence for a few hours during the school day. hes really shy all the time so i asked him out. im afraid this relationship isnt gonna work out cuz he wont call or talk to me... should i give it some time to get comfy (if yes, how should i help him) or just tell him to forget it?
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How long has this relationship been "on"? If it hasn't been all that long (let's say more or less a week) -- I say give him some time. Guys are messed up creatures, and some of them are shy on top of that, hah. He probably needs the time to adjust to having a girlfriend and having to dedicate himself to you.
If it has been for a while, though, I suggest you talk to him about it. If he was willing to go out with you, he should be open for discussion. If you tell him that the shyness is an issue, and that he needs to open up, and he still doesn't -- the choice is up to you. It depends on how much you like him, I guess.
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Q: well last saturday i went to my cousins daughters birthday party and i was downstairs with my grandmothers neighbors grandson and we were hanging out, and we were watching TV and i had my head resting on his shoulder and my legs were on his lap and he had his arm around me.. and then my brother came down and was like.. ahh u like her!! to him and he pushed me off and stood up and he was like, no i dont, we were just watching TV. and then he went upstairs and i have NO IDEA what he's thinking now, because he sent mixed signals. and now i like this other kid and he's REALLY funny and pretty cute, and i pretty much cant get my mind off him.. but i dont know what do do... i have mised feelings.
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To be quite honest with you, if you like some other kid --- give this neighbor of yours some time. I think he's pretty much confused about how he feels himself, because he wouldn't push you off and react in such a way if he didn't get some idea that maybe you liked him (back). I think it's a very instinctive way of reacting - pushing a person off and denying it. Give him some time until comfort settles again, then try to approach the subject while sounding as neutral as possible.
You are officially my first adviced-ee. Hah.
. Tracy
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bio
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I can be whoever you think I am, unless it is one of the following:
1) Someone who tells you what you want to hear
2) Someone who will laugh at all your jokes
3) Someone who will never go against your values
4) Someone who will make the truth sound less hurtful.
Not all truth is hurtful, and not all advice is good/needed.
Proceed with caution, and I'll be the coolest cat you've ever met, right next to the Pink Panther.
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Info
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Website: Occupation: Chasing the sandman. MSN: neptunemist Member Since: March 15, 2005 Answers: 37 Last Update: October 16, 2005 Visitors: 3721
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
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