can I call you sweety? I need some help.. im soo lost and confused.. I dunno what to do. I feel like killing myself.. I really do.. I feel like no one loves me and wants to be with me.. I really do feel that way.. :(
I'm sorry, I'm at work and can't talk. Isn't there a friend or someone you can call and talk to on the phone?
A lesson you MUST learn: no man is ever worth your life. EVER. Lesson #2: Men are idiots. You should NEVER judge your own self-worth by what a man thinks about you. EVER. They are not worth it!
Do you have any girlfriends you can go see after work? Or family you can go be with? There must be people in your life who love you, and you must love yourself!
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What do I do? should I wait? I tried calling him.. once call blocked and he answered but whenI called with my # 3 times after he didnt answer.. I dunno im sooo upset I cant stop crying.. and im at work too as a receptionist its not good for my job or health..
help me pls. maybe u can talk to him for me.. plsssssssssssss In need of help..
Honey, you're getting a little crazy about this. You call blocked yourself to call, and then called THREE MORE times?? I am sure this is upsetting to you, but it is something you're going to have to accept. Obsessing about it is not going to change it, and calling him/emailing/texting him so much is just going to drive him further away. Yes, you need to just wait and see what he does next and start to come to terms with the fact that things are probably not going to go the way you want. Me or anyone else talking to him is not going to make anything any different.
You deserve better. Tell yourself that over and over. If you can't get yourself together at work, go home sick and cry for a day or so and get it out of your system, then you can start to move on. I'm so sorry this is how this is turning out, but trust that someone BETTER will come along. Truly. Anyone who makes you feel like this is not worth your tears. And I know that is easier said than felt, but it is true, and if you keep telling yourself that you will soon begin to believe it.
So sorry. :(
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Hey Clara,
I got an huge issue now.. I talked to him via msn and he said:
Mona says: what did I do to lose that trust?
N Sharma says: i dont think i ever did
N Sharma says: when i walked into that coffee shop
N Sharma says: saw you
N Sharma says: i thought this girl can be the one
N Sharma says: by the end of the night
N Sharma says: i didnt feel the same
I asked him if I cud meet him in person to clear any missunderstandings he said I'll try.. he said tonite he is seeing some friends and tomarrow too and saturday hes going to a wedding I said how about tomarrow before you go see your friends he said i'l try. I said well I would appreciate it if yoiu can try.. he said Ok.. like I dont get it.. maybe I gave in too easily SEX wise or the fact that I was really shy while with him. I dunno. He wont give me a proper response and I dunno wat to do. im going crazy here.. arrrrghh help me plssss.. can I call you and talk to you about this.. plsss
Unfortunately, you need to accept what he has said and move on. Do you really want to be with someone who says "I thought you might be the one but then I changed my mind?" He has told you pretty much point blank he doesn't feel the same about you anymore. What happened, happened, and you can't go back and change it now. If he is not willing to give you a second chance, you deserve better.
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HI Ms,
I have asked him before he came down if he thinks we can have something.. he said AFTER we meet yes its possible. and Im sure he wants to have a relationship.. cause I beleive he is looking for that as well. He said he liked me and that I looked much more prettier in person than I did in my pics so I took that as a good sign and I had mentioned to him during the date that I would like to see him again before he leaves.. he said yah.. so I dunno why all this.. He didnt beleive me at first that I didnt have sex b4 and when I said if u dont wanna beleive me thats your choice.. and he said afterwards that he was sorry.. I said dont be its okay..
At this point, all you can do is tell him again that you would like to see him, and leave it in his court. If you feel like you are absolutely going to burst if you don't tell him how you feel, then tell him. But keep in mind that people don't change their feelings because of other peoples' feelings. If he truly wants to pursue something with you, he will. If he doesn't, he will keep putting you off and coming up with excuses for why he can't see you.
Also, it's only been 3 days since you saw him last, so maybe today he'll find time for you.
And remember, if this doesn't work out, it's because there is someone better out there waiting for you who will be just as eager to see you as you are to see him!!!
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HI Ms,
Truth is. I really like this guy.. and the fact that I did it with him was cause Iliked him so much and I wanted him to be the first.. not because he was there and it was the right moment..but because it was him.. and I had some real attraction to him and hoped to take things to the next level. Its important to have that physical attraction to be in any relationship and I wanted to know if we really had it.. I dunno he might be just thinking that I am eazy.. which I am not. so I dunno what to do.. I dont want to sound desperate or phsy by asking him all those questions soo im confused...
Well, the hard part now is that he may not have been thinking the same thing. He may have just been thinking you were nice, attractive, and he was going to get some. Not really thinking beyond that.
What were your conversations like before you met? Did he indicate that he was looking for a relationship? Did you talk about being together in that way?
To me it just really sounds like he is freaked about being your first, and I am not sure you will be able to get him past that. I know you want to see him while you can since it sounds like he doesn't live near you, but it might be better just to back off a bit and go back to the way things were before the sex.
I doubt he thinks you are easy, I am thinking he thinks that you are ready for something he is not. Guys just move so much more slowly than we do, sometimes you have to slow yourself down so that they have a chance to catch up. If you pour your heart out to him now, he's going to back away even further. Express to him that you really hope you can get together again before he leaves, and then see what happens.
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Hi Ms,
I am confused about somethings..I dunno.. but on our first date,, we made love.. it was great.. it was the first time I have ever done it before and im 26 and so is he. He didnt buy into the whole fact that I had not had S** before.. neways.. he had mentioned that after having S** that how can you want to do it with me you dont even know me.. and that kinda bothered me. I told him well I like you.. and I wanted to.. and Im glad that it is with you. He didnt respond to that.. neways he is here not just to see family but for work too. He is also doing work while he is here. and I dont want to sound pushy you know and drive him away.. what should I do?
Well that is a lot more info! So, I can guarantee you that he is feeling an EXTREME amount of pressure about being your first at 26 years old. I'm sure in his mind, because you waited this long, he probably thinks you were waiting for "the one" and that now you are going to want him to be a serious boyfriend. As a 26 year old guy, he may have had sex on the first date before, but with girls who think of sex as something casual.
What made you have sex with him the first time you met him, having never done it before? Were you just ready and there he was, cute, nice, good prospect? Or did you meet him and think, "Wow, this is really the guy I want to give this to, I can see us together for a long time!"?
First, prepare yourself that this may not develop into a relationship. If that's what you were hoping for, then I would stick with my advice from the first email and give him one last opportunity to see you again and leave it to him. If he doesn't take you up on it, then he is probably not prepared for a serious relationship with you and you would be better off to begin your search for someone who is.
Second, if you really were just ready and had the opportunity and took it, and it wasn't as big a deal to you as he probably thinks it was, then tell him that. You could email him and say, "Look, I've thought about it and realized that you are probably feeling a lot of pressure after me telling you that you were my first. I want you to know that by having sex with you, I wasn't thinking that we were all of the sudden going to get married. I've enjoyed getting to know you over the past month or so and the moment just seemed right. I'm 26, I was ready, you were there, it was nice, that's that. I know we've only met once, but I enjoyed the time we spent together, and would like to see you again, no pressure for anything more than having a good time. If it goes somewhere beyond that, that's great. If not, then at least we've spent some fun times together."
I'm guessing what you're feeling is not that you'd just like to have fun with him, but at this point, if you do want to see him again, you need to take some of the pressure off of him. Chances are this will be a summer fling, but if you can brace yourself from that and learn from your time with him, then you'll be fine.
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Okay so heres the deal.. Ive been talking to this guy for a month now.. its going great.. he lives in Virginia.. he came down on Saturday night to see his family and see me too.(hes here for a visit for a week). We met on Sunday.. Had a great time.. and the next day I asked him if he wanted to do something on Tuesday.. he said he dont think hes doing anything but he will let meknow.. ok.. day goes by.. next day I ask him.. wondering if u still wanted to do something today.. didnt respond to that but he tells me that hes soo tired went to the border yesterday(monday) and had to renew something and that he came back at 4 in the morning..took him 7 hrs to get there and that he is exhausted.. I had mentioned that he shud rest so that tomarrow he will be refreshed.. and he agreed.. and then went offline. My question to you is....do u think its wise to ask him if he wants to see me again.. honestly speaking? or am I jumping the gun too quickly..
To me, it sounds like he probably is interested in spending time with you to some degree, but 1) is busy with his family and other stuff you have to cram in a short visit home, and 2) isn't making you a priority. You've put yourself out there a couple of times by asking him to do something. Since the last time you said anything you suggested he rest, I would say you should either email or message him and say, "Hey, I'd still like to hang out if you can find time while you're here! Just let me know when is good for you!" And then leave it at that. You've then put the ball in his court, and if he doesn't make time for you, you've done all you could to let him know you are interested.
I don't know that much about him, but if he has a lot of friends and family he hasn't seen in a while and is only there for a week, and he's only known you online and met you that one time, it's possible the time you had on Sunday is all the time he'll have for you. Usually people we've known longer tend to be a priority. So pay attention to the clues he gives you (is he brushing you off, or truly just very busy with other people?), and take them at face value.
Good luck!
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ok so say my name is jenna and this kid's name is john. alright well i have to go to summer school which sucks but im getting used to it. one day while i was at school in the morning i walked over to my friend who was talking to this guy. then he turned to me and said "hey you're jenna, i recognized you because you're her top person on her friends list on myspace" when the guy left i asked who it was and she said "john smith(not his real name)" and i recognized him because my friend had talked about him. it was a friend of my friends ex boyfriend. follow that? ok so that was on friday and over the weekend i accepted him over myspace to be my friend and we talked a bit on there but not much. just the simple questions like what school do u go to? why are you in summer school? whats up? that sort of thing. monday(today) im back in school and im walking in and he's standing at this ledge we have outside my school and he says hey and i wave, not really awake enough to say anything. so then i go inside and sit on the window sill in there waiting for my class and he comes in and he's like "hey *jenna* how was your weekend?" and he gives me a hug. and i said it was good but i was surprised that he gave me a hug because we just started talking 2 days ago. then when i was leaving school he stepped right in front of me and said goodbye and gave me another hug...once again i was kind of confused why. the only guy friends that normally give me hugs are guy friends that i've known for a really long time. now normally i would say that he might like me but he has a girlfriend. i know his girlfriend she goes to my school, he goes to the school in the next town. basically i don't know what this guy's thinking. he doesnt hug my friend and he's known her a lot longer. what do you guys think he's thinking? i'm so confused i never had a guy act this way with me before.
He thinks you're hot, that's what he's thinking. And he's thinking if you express an interest in him, too, he can dump his girlfriend for you.
If you return his advances, he might be a sweet boyfriend for a while, but he'll eventually do the same to you. Your choice if you want to take that chance. If you aren't interested in him, don't hug back or try to avoid the hugs, or call him out on it--"John! You have a girlfriend! You can't hug me like that!" And see how he responds.
Sounds like he's interested in a little summer fling to me.
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do guys talk about other girls, like how he supposedly has 5 dates this week to flirt with you?
read this IM, you think he is trying to make me jealous, or trying to get rid of me?
me:are we gonna hanggout this summer? or too awkard for you lol
himL sure
him:just not this week i have like 5 dates lol
me: bigggg pimp
him (11:15:07 PM): tommorow im going with this girl from lance cruise to her house
him(11:15:14 PM): wensday i have football
him (11:15:19 PM): then going to vilsons and bens
him (11:15:38 PM): thursday im going with these 2 girls and ben to the movies
him (11:15:52 PM): friday im going to the movies again with this girl named shannon
me: haaaa your gonna get laid like 3 times. mannnn whoreeeeeeeeeee
him:na
him: saveing that for someone special
Sorry to break it to you, but he is not trying to make you jealous, he's trying to tell you that he's already got 5 girls lined up, no time for you. :( Time to find someone who ditches any dates he has because YOU are who he wants to spend time with!
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ive started hooking up with this guy ive met. hes really nice and i met him last summer, we kept in touch randomly during the year but havent hungout till two days ago i went to his apartment and we hookedup. i ended up sleeping there and went back last night and slept over again. i think im starting to like him, and trust me i usually never really like guys, especially guys i just hookup with. i want to know what he wants out of this, because if he just wants to hookup i dont think i can talk to him anymore, because now i kind of want a relationship or something. this isnt me, im never like this and i am certainly not the girl to have feelings. i dont want him to think im some clingy 17 year old, so i dont know how to ask. i always joke around and say stuff like "oh if you dont want to talk anymore w.e haha" and hes like obviously i want to, trust me if i didnt want to i wouldnt answer your calls or IM you.
what should i do to cleverly ask?/ tell him i have feelings
Chances are, he is only concerned right now with you sleeping over/hooking up, and hasn't even thought about the potential of a relationship with you. At 22, all he cares about is getting some, especially if you hooked up that quickly. That's probably not what you want to hear, but it's true.
You have a couple of options. First, I would say now is not the time to mention your feelings for him. Try to find reasons for you to hang out that do not involve hooking up (until the end of the date, at least. :) ). He won't even begin to see you as girlfriend material until he has had a chance to spend time with you that is not just hooking up. Right now in his mind, when he thinks of you, he thinks of hooking up, and I would venture to say if you said something about feelings to him, he would be totally confused. If you can go out and do things together, you'll wire his brain to see you in other ways besides sexual, and in time he may realize that he could/does have feelings for you too.
You could also just continue to do what you've been doing--hooking up--for a while, and see if he ever wants anything more from you (as in, an actual date). If the only time you ever see him is to get it on, then, sorry, that's all he wants from you.
In the meantime, try not to get too attached, and try to have fun. And be safe!!
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me and my ex have been going out for over 2 years and we just broke up 2 months ago but were still be talking but it completly ended 4 weeks ago. His last girlfriend also broke up with him and im guessing it was the same reason the thing is his ex girlfriend broke up with him and started dating one of his friends not completly close friends but close. And i did the same thing and i didnt know how wrong of me it was but i really like this guy and he is soo sweet nothing like my ex. What do i do? Is it completly my fault i mean they guy came on to me too!
Well, honestly, you could have held out a little longer for the sake of your ex. The question is, did he do something to hurt you, or did you just get sick of him and move on to his friend? What's important is being respectful of other peoples' feelings. You say you're still talking to your ex, have you explained to him that you honestly did not mean to be cruel by hopping to his friend, but sometimes that's just how life works? This might be a nice thing for you to do. The fact is, he's your ex, so in the grand scheme of things, you don't owe him anything, but if you want to be a kind person, and if you believe that what goes around comes around, it would be worth it to at least try to mend that bridge. These things happen in life, and hopefully you can find a way to still be friends--if that's what you want.
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so i always think i jinx myself by asking things like this especailly with this boy. so anyways. he started texting me again not for too long tho, like a few days, but we haven't texted in the past two nights. should i text him? i texted him one night first but idk if i should again. i heard i shouldn't because like boys wanna work to get the girl or whatever, but idk if he'll think i'm not intrested if i text him or if i'm too obessed if i text him. i honestly don't know what to doo.
If it has been two days, it's your turn to text him. Yes, sometimes guys want to make the first move, but they also want to know you're interested. The key is to text him with something that made you think about him, not just "what's up" or "hi." Maybe you saw something on TV that you know he's interested in and want to know if he saw it, or you heard a song you know he likes and thought of him. So you could say, "Just heard (whatever song) and thought of you--what's up?" (Sorry I'm not using proper text messaging language, a little old to know it well. :) ) The key is, you text him next, see how he responds. If you get a one word response or no response at all, you'll know he's not interested--sorry. If he keeps up the texting, that's a good sign. Also, after you initiate the texting, let him do it next time. If you don't hear back from him, that's your clue he's not interested. In the meantime, keep your options open. This guy doesn't sound especially reliable and if you are too busy worrying about him, you could miss out on Mr. Right. Good luck!
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