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Blunder Part 2
Hi Ms,
I am confused about somethings..I dunno.. but on our first date,, we made love.. it was great.. it was the first time I have ever done it before and im 26 and so is he. He didnt buy into the whole fact that I had not had S** before.. neways.. he had mentioned that after having S** that how can you want to do it with me you dont even know me.. and that kinda bothered me. I told him well I like you.. and I wanted to.. and Im glad that it is with you. He didnt respond to that.. neways he is here not just to see family but for work too. He is also doing work while he is here. and I dont want to sound pushy you know and drive him away.. what should I do?
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Hey, you can call me Clara.
I just wanna know, why you trusted him so fast and did it with him on your first date?
If you don't wanna sound pushy, then don't be. Give him a few days grace, or maybe at least two days grace for him to contact you. If he doesn't, then you ask him if he could set a date when you two could meet. Give it a try. Get back to me when you're done.
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Well that is a lot more info! So, I can guarantee you that he is feeling an EXTREME amount of pressure about being your first at 26 years old. I'm sure in his mind, because you waited this long, he probably thinks you were waiting for "the one" and that now you are going to want him to be a serious boyfriend. As a 26 year old guy, he may have had sex on the first date before, but with girls who think of sex as something casual.
What made you have sex with him the first time you met him, having never done it before? Were you just ready and there he was, cute, nice, good prospect? Or did you meet him and think, "Wow, this is really the guy I want to give this to, I can see us together for a long time!"?
First, prepare yourself that this may not develop into a relationship. If that's what you were hoping for, then I would stick with my advice from the first email and give him one last opportunity to see you again and leave it to him. If he doesn't take you up on it, then he is probably not prepared for a serious relationship with you and you would be better off to begin your search for someone who is.
Second, if you really were just ready and had the opportunity and took it, and it wasn't as big a deal to you as he probably thinks it was, then tell him that. You could email him and say, "Look, I've thought about it and realized that you are probably feeling a lot of pressure after me telling you that you were my first. I want you to know that by having sex with you, I wasn't thinking that we were all of the sudden going to get married. I've enjoyed getting to know you over the past month or so and the moment just seemed right. I'm 26, I was ready, you were there, it was nice, that's that. I know we've only met once, but I enjoyed the time we spent together, and would like to see you again, no pressure for anything more than having a good time. If it goes somewhere beyond that, that's great. If not, then at least we've spent some fun times together."
I'm guessing what you're feeling is not that you'd just like to have fun with him, but at this point, if you do want to see him again, you need to take some of the pressure off of him. Chances are this will be a summer fling, but if you can brace yourself from that and learn from your time with him, then you'll be fine.
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Well If you know he is there he must have told you he was coming right? Thats a good thing.
That means he probably wants to see you.
Have you talked to him since he's been there?
Has he even attempted to call you?
If he just got there give him a chance to call you first, and after a day or so, call him and say I just wanted to see how you were doing.
Listen to his voice, if he sounds like he wants to hear from you, then keep the converstion going. If he doesnt then quickly get off the phone, and dont call again unless he calls you.
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