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xIrishRedHeadMember Since:
June 23, 2005Answers:
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about
My name is Erin. I'm almost 16 [17 days!]
I love this site so much, I always ask a billion questions on advicenators and I do my best to answer as many as I can too.
Most of the time when answering questions
I give you my opinion,
then I go through different senarios [2 or 3] that are on each side of the issue
So ask away :)
advice
I'm in a long distance relationship, I want to end it. I haven't been happy for over a month, the distance isn't for me, and now it's interfering with my grades in college.
The guy I'm with is extremely emotional & I KNOW he'll cry/be upset for ages. (It took him over 2 yrs to get over his ex!) If I talk to him via the phone, he might possibly be able to suck me back in as he always does. But I'm tired of feeling bad for him, and I need some advice on how to not back down on my decision once he starts crying. I will feel bad, I do have some feelings for him, but I really KNOW in my heart that breaking up is the best decision for me.
I guess what I'm asking is..is phone the best way to do it? My friends suggested email, which I honestly would prefer, but he's very, VERY close with his parents, and I know my email would be shown to them. And knowing him, he might even ask them to contact my parents to try and talk me out of the break up. Yes, I am actually scared. I'm considering telling him that I'm moving so he thinks my address is different, and won't show up on my doorstep. You'd think we're 12 year olds, but he's 22, and I'm 19.
I KNOW he will have an emotional breakdown. Ah, I just really need advice on what to do? I want to this as soon as possible. I also don't know how to bring it up, we talk everyday. Should I start not talking to him as often, and then eventually do it? Please help!!
You have to be distant, as much as his pain will hurt you, you need to be thinking of you.
Talking to him on the phone will be better so you know your private email will not be shown all over. Tell him that you need this and if he cares about you he'll see this isnt working for eaither of you and that it.
Good luck and i know its hard!
OK well I'm 16/f and I have a new boyfriend who I really like and both of us are really happy to be together. The problem is that we don't go to the same school so that really limits the frequency of us being able to see eachother. I wish I could see him more, but the fact is that I can't because there are certain things, like going to his house alone, that my parents are probably not exactly okay with. I haven't told them that we are dating, because I don't know how they will react. I'm not sure if that would make them more reluctant to letting us see eachother because they'll think something will happen between us, or if it will give me more freedom to date him. My parents are reasonable but still strict. The thing is that my boyfriend is really missing me and making it clear that he really wants to see me. I don't want him to be really upset that we can't see eachother more. I just need some advice on how to make this work in the long run, for both of us. Thank you :)
go out with a group of people, and have his friends meet up with your friends, be honest with your parents about guys being with you and your friends, but u dno't need to go into detail aout your boyfriend. While out you and your boyfriend can possible seperate from the group a bit. My best friend is in a similar situation and we do this for her alot.
hope it works
yah that is true.ima see whats going on.
but you know whats weiird that something telles meh he aint doing nothing stupid nd den something tells me he is.
then i get a good felling about him and then
i get a bad feeling bout him
aahhhh
It sounds like your way too inlove,
you want to think the best of him,
but sometimes worries creep into your head
its totally normal
lettme know how it works out!
that is really true,but my heart hurts alot.i dont even know what to do,one day i asked him why havent he called me and he sed it was because he dosen't have money he is broke ove there.all the money he had it all waisted.
and also i called him last week right?..nd i asked his mom if he was there and she sed no..den she asked whos dis..annd i sed his gurlfriend and she sed which gurlfriend and i sed my name..
ima tried calling him today
='[
it doesn't sound too good,
maybe you should try asking him flat out whats going on
lifes to short to be miserable
ok i been going out wit my boyfriend for a yr and 2 months.
but now he left to the dominican republic..nd everytime i call him he is never there.i dont know what to think,sometimes i think that he is just cheeting on me.because his brother got a myspace and he cheks it every 4 days,then why cant my boyfriend do that and ask why did i called or something..?
omg im confuse nd sad please give me some really good advice,thank you
You have to ask yourself, is this boy truly worth worrying this much about.
If hes putting forth no effort to stay in touch with you, why do the same for him?
I think you need to examine this relationship, because it sounds like its not strong enough to deal with the distance
However, if you do get in touch with him then maybe you can set up a few times throughout the week when you both can set time out and talk with eachother. If he truly loves you a 20 minute phone call three times a week and setting up a myspace page shouldn't be that big of a deal.
it will all work out in the end
Ok me and this girl are really good friends and one day she cheated on him with me but we decided it was a mistake cause she had a boyfriend and i didnt want to push it. so we remained really good friends then she tells me she broke up with her boyfriends this is weeks later by the way and i dont know if i should try and be more than friends again?
if you think thats shes worth it, go for it.
but keep in mind, once a cheater, always a cheater..
Okay so Saturday was Old Home Day, and I was hanging out with Becky,Steven,Abby,Emily,Kim,and Abbys lil brother. Well at the moment Beckys dating Steven but she doesnt like him, she just didnt want to hurt his feelings.Well we were all hanging out I guess I was flirting with Steven... Becky couldnt careless though so Im not worried about that. In town, Steven baught me fries and we traded a 20 for 2 tens and the guy who gave us the two tens was like "You have your boyfriend rapped around your finger!"Because Steven gave me ten bucks and told me he'd be right back he was gunna go buy some icecream. And I was like =O Hes not my boyfriend! And the guy was like Even better..
And at Byrant Feild I wore Stevens sweatshirt, and we hung out more then he and becky did.
Well Abby wouldnt get off my case, she kept saying that Steven liked me, and that I liked Steven... and Steven ended up saying that If I asked him out seriously he would have a hard time saying no to me.. right infront of me.
Okay so i thought me and Steven were ust friends but I was telling Kim what we did to make Abby think that we liked eachother which was I play with his feet =]] Tugg on his leg hair. We wrestle, and play mercy which is really painfull btw. He layed on me...
Yes I wear his sweatshirt, and he buys me food. Were always talking and he's my best guy friend. Well Kim was like I wish I had one of those.. and I was like.. one what? and she was like Flirt Buddy =DD Cuz thats exactly what you are.
I dont mean to flirt with Steven.. but is that what im doing?
Should I tell Steven Becky doesnt like him?
Even though I really didnt mean to flirt with Steven, does that mean I like him?
i think you like his company
and i think he likes likes you
you might like him, but your the only one who can really determin that
theres no problem with having a flirt buddy, there super fun and no problems
just make sure your not leading him on if you don't acctually like him
if you do like thim. TALK TO BECKY
its not cool to flirt with him, even if she doesn't like him that much.
if you do like him, and him and becky break up
GO FOR IT
he sounds like the cutest kiddo everr =]
Me and my boyfriend broke up last week (Mon) because basically for the last two months he was having thoughts/feelings for my bestfriend and never told me. So we eneded it, yet i still have deep feelings as he does for me, but it wouldnt be right to take him back a second time. He states hes over her, but how can i be sure, he stopped communication with her for 2 months. Basically we werent really giving each other space, we were acting as if everything was normal. I asked him for space, and now i feel even more hurt and lonely than before, what do i do?
-Female, 15
Invite him to meet you at a park, the school yard, somewhere where no one has an advantage [like someones house] and try to get it so not many people are around.
You need to sit and talk with him about this
explain to him why logically its stupid for you to take him back, let him know exactly how hurt you were/are by his thoughts about your best friend.
See what he says, and if its anything besides kissing your ass, you know hes not worth it,
Also tell him that you still care about him alot
and maybe you could set something up, where you two start dating again, but if anything like it happens again,
kick that boy to the curb, your too young to waste time on a stupid boy, and TRUST ME I KNOW
how much it sucks to have you boyfriend and your best friend eyeing eachother behind your back, i've been there and i've lived it,
give him a second chance, if he resepcts you enough it won't happen again
What are signs that you're falling out of love with someone? And that someone's falling out of love with you?
if the person seems bored with you
or your bored with them
things aren't as fun as they used to be
you fight easily
you don't trust them as much
i relieze i don't know your exact problem,
but life is about having fun
don't stick with someone just for the sake of being with someone, especially if you don't love them anymore
ok so there is this guy i am totaly into im 16 by the way and hes a bit older like 2 years and he is amazing i think im in love he is so sweet and cares about me hes not sleezy or anything. the thing is i know he was into me a few weeks ago but now i heard he has a girlfriend but i dont understand he was like perfect and i cnat stop thinking about him i spent a night going out and stuff with him then we werre going to hang out and he has communicated with me since then but thats alll and now i want to see him but do not want to make the first move and seem tooo intrested if he has a girlfriend i will feel like crap what can i do???? my friends boyfriend and him are like great friends so i will prob end up seeing him sooon but it might be uncomfertable what can i do about that too???
totaly confused!!!
maybe you could mention that a big group of people are going out and you were supposed to invite people too, you saw his sn on or his myspace etc. and thought he might want to come to
[makes you seem not too intrested and more friendly]
and tell him to bring a friend[s] of his too
and if he brings the girlfriend then you know for sure and stick with your friend and try to keep a bit of distance but not ignoring him,
but if he doesn't bring the girl, and he doesn't have one then go for it!
i hope i helped and it all works out for you
good luck!
Hey! There’s a little problem that I have that I probably have put off for too long. Here goes…. So there’s this guy at school who is (or at least in my opinion) a great guy. He’s cute, super smart (and I should know- he’s one of the smartest person in our AP classes), really nice and really athletic (basketball, soccer, Frisbee, you name it).Anyway, he’s really nice to everyone, so I wasn’t sure if he was just being affable or if he might actually like me. So here’s a bit of a stuff that might be influential. I was wondering if anyone could make heads or tails of it.
We had an Arthurian Tales project earlier this year in Literature and he was in my group (we had four people total). Because the other two people were less eager to work, we were the only two who answered the questions. Later, we had to work on a larger project together as a whole group dealing with the Arthurian Tales so I offered to do the drawing for all three of them (because I’m better at art than they are), and two of them consented. The guy refused, and so we did our parts for the project separately. Later, the day before the due date, he had me how much I had done and I said I did the other two people’s parts already, but very little of mine. I assured him that I would be able to finish it in time, but he still ended up teasing me about it. Then, in Latin class, we had a huge project about ancient Roman architecture still standing today in Europe. Because my project dealt with building an architectural building out of food, I didn’t work on it at school, but rather did it at home. However, the rest of the class spent time during class to work on theirs, including the guy. I went over to talk with him and his partner and helped them build their bridge. I laughed saying that it was a bit flimsy and teased them about the model. Both laughed and ended up putting aside my comments. Another day, I was really happy because I found out that we got a really good grade on our Arthurian project so I told him. We were the first of our group to know. I did my whole ‘I’m-really-happy’ clap and he ended up teasing me by copying the clap sarcastically.
Later in the year, we had a Poetry Anthology assignment in Literature worth a hundred points. About a week before it was due, as we were walking back to our lockers (they are close together since we both have the same first period class), he asked me if I had finished by anthology yet. We talked a bit about it until we reached our lockers, both admitting that we had not done much work on it yet. When we finally turned our anthologies in, we had to display them to the class. We each put our anthologies on our desks with a piece of paper for others to write comments on it. So, we went around and I kept looking over at my desk as I read others’ anthologies. I saw him walking around in the general area and finally sat down. But before long, the period was over and we had to turn everything in to be graded. However, when I got the comments sheet back, his comment was the last one. It said, "I really liked how you wrote about quests and stories. They were really interesting." When I questioned him later, he said that he never really got to read them because by the time he got to my anthology, the period was over.
At another time, I had a huge math exam and because I did not understand a question, I asked a good friend of mine. She’s extremely brilliant, and like the guy, was in an AP math class that was one level ahead of the norm. The guy overheard, and since he didn’t understand either, referred me to another person. He was really trying to be helpful, and the next day, asked me if I had figured out the answer yet. Also, several times, while my friends and I were just sitting around and talking during Free Period, he would come over from across the room to join in, joking and laughing with us.
On the last two days of school, our Literature class (or at least half of us) pitched in together to complete a 1,000 piece puzzle of all the most important people of the century. I had asked if I could join and he said "sure." I’m not the greatest at puzzles, so whenever I got a piece right, I was extremely ecstatic. He (and several others) kept teasing me saying things like, "Yay, you finally got a piece!" in a really sarcastic tone. He also teased me using a comment I had said earlier (which was, "Hey, I’m not bad at all puzzles; I can do 10 piece ones really well!). Finally, I felt that I really couldn’t help any longer and after constant reminders that I was horrid at puzzles, I got into a fit and left. Whilst I was standing and watching everyone else work on the puzzles, someone came up to me and asked why I wasn’t helping. Indignantly, I retorted that "They told me not to work," to which he replied "We didn’t!" in an irritated manner. The next day (or last day of school), when I first got into the room, it was already utterly chaotic. A guy in our class had brought in a small, rubber, bouncy ball and accidentally threw it at the puzzle workers. It hit him on the back slightly the first time, and a few minutes later, squarely hit the puzzle and broke pieces off. He was really mad so he took the ball and wouldn’t give it back to the other guy. I told him "Just give it back to them," to which he replied, "Why should I? Why would you care?" A while later, I got back into the group and sat down next to him. I was wearing my graduation dress, and for the first time that morning, he noticed it. "Wow," he said with a glance in my direction, and then he went back to work.
The last few bits of things that I can still remember is something that deals with yearbooks. I had nothing to do in Latin class one day in the last week of school, so I asked to ‘sign’ his yearbook. I had already written a little message earlier with something along the lines of "Have a great summer," but now I wanted to decorate an entire page. Everyone in our classes knew what an ‘artaholic’ (as they put it) I am and how I would decorate and doodle all over anything I can get my hands onto. They also found out during yearbook-time that I LOVED writing and drawing in yearbooks. Some of them actually tried taking up a lot of room in MY yearbook just because I did that in theirs, and it was a way that they could irritate me. After a bit of pleading, he finally relented, but warned me only to take up ONE page, and that was all. So, I used my Sharpies and doodled all over and around messages. When I finally returned it to him, the page was nothing but a swirl of colors. He thanked me and then went back to his seat. I caught him surveying the book thoughtfully and even pointed something out to his friend, but since I wasn’t in hearing distance, I couldn’t tell what he said. Later, he had asked me to decorate another page because someone (we both know) who has really bad spelling and stuff wrote in his book that he thought would ‘ruin his yearbook’ (excuse?). I did so, and he thanked me yet again. I had also asked him to sign my yearbook and this is exactly what it says, "___, Thanks for making all of the really cool designs in my yearbook. I’ll (which was later scribbled out). Yours is the coolest "signature" I have. It has been fun being in Latin class and Literature with you! Have an awesome summer. See you next year!" He then signed his name in block letters. Because I had specifically asked everyone in my yearbook to decorate it, he drew (around the borders of the message) pictures of people we knew. He also drew the King of France, Sir Gawain, Gawain’s "horse/camel/dino" and "Me [meaning him], the artist… a long time from now." He labeled all of the pictures and wrote at the top, "My attempt at decoration." Finally, when school let out for the summer, I told him over my shoulder to "Have fun in N.Y." He paused for a moment and then said, "Huh? Oh, yeah. New York. Yeah, thanks."
Well, that’s the end of it. I know that it was really long, so I’m sorry! But please help me out! Is he just being friendly or might this be something more?
its possible he likes you and is to shy to come out and say it, maybe you could get a bunch of your friends and his friends together to hang out and see if it starts up again?
its kinda hard to tell if its more, i'm thinking thou that it is a deff possiblility and maybe you want to flirt a little [nothing dramatic] and see how he responds.
let me know how it goes, hope i helped!
hey,
so this guy and i we are close and like each other loads but i recentley heard that he slept with 2 other girls and i ignored it for a few days. But this morning we were talking and then something made me mad and i just flipped and told him about it. He was soo upset because i was like 'am i just another girl to you?' and then i left his house. He texted back saying 'he could not believe the rumours that were not true and how i could believe that i was just another girl'...he then texted back defending himself against the accusations. i left him a message apologising and then a text, but he won't pick up, i rang him once and my best friend rang him once. What should i do if he doesn't ring back??
go back to his house, say sorry and that you really care about him and you don't want him to hurt you, also say that if you hear another stupid thing you'll ask him about it before you assume its true,
if he won't talk to you at his house, go to the places he normally goes and try to talk to him there ex: the pizza place, a 711, the drug store etc.
15f
I have not had my first kiss yet and I'm already a sophomore
it sunlcks alottt
but what are some tecniques you use for kissing I have no idea how to kiss someone
how can I practice?
what do I do???
you cannot pratice
i know people hate to hear it but when you have your first kiss you Havee to just go with the flow
normal kiss: count to three in your head before you pull away
pucker your lips just a little,
DON'T FREAK OUT
its one of a million more kisses
french: spell out your name with your tounge, i know werid but thats a trick i've herd,
stop for a few sconds to breath but stay very close to there face
and DON'T be afraide to make the first move
guys hate making the first move so we always have to for themm lol
good luck
Well me and my x have been talking latley and i am getting back old feelings that we used to have.
we just got back form a cheerleading comp and we flirted the whole time we both have feelings for each other but she has a boyfriend and it's been really hard for me because it's like everything that me and her used to share it's with them now and it's really hard to wacth that.she has not cheated. we have not done anything psyically we are just really good friends but i dont no if i can do that anymore because of me and her loving each other still. please i need HELP!!!
ask her: do you still like me?
if she says no: ok i was just wondering and bring up something else fast
and if she says yes:"thats not fair to me or her currrent b/f"
see how it goes from there, she'll have somethinking to do but it might go in your favor.
don't stop being her friend just because u like her, be there when she needs a sholder to cry on, all girls need an amazing guy in there life so be that for her
there's a guy @ my school and i like him alot. we got together but after 2 days he broke up with me by telling his friend to text me. his friend told me that he still wanted to be friends. before we got together i went out with 2 of his friends. and they made rumors that i was a slut(but to tell you the truth im not [pinky swear])
i wanted to know if he was playing around to see if i would get with him......
i just want your advice to see if he really liked me or if he wanted to see if i was a slut.....
ya know what, if a guy gets his friends to text you, thats some one you shouldn't waste your time thinking about, honestly, does it matter why you guys broke up? he soundslike a jerk but if you really want to know get him alone and say you know that really wasn't cool you owe me an explination
What should you do when you have a first kiss? hwo do you kiss?? i know its a stupid question because no one can tell you how to kiss but how can you sort of walk me through it. I dont want to mess up on the first time.
got with the flow, i know its the worst answer because you want to know what happens but thats really what you have to do,
if you want to kiss play with the person's hair or hands look at there face alot scoot toawrds them lean in, and if they don't lean in too then give them a hug to make it not akward, make comments like your lips are so nice and little things like that, it will happen and if not, then another day or another person
okay, my problem is getting worse. i posted a question recently about my relationship with my boyfreid that is on the wrestling team. we can't date because the coach's and everone are really freaky about it because they say that it will interfere with the wrestlers playing and all that. well if you date some one on the team and you get caught, youre basically screwed since they will probably kick you off the team, or bench you, and crap. well we got caught dating and i talked to the coach and she just said i have 2 options, one, quite the team(which i cannot do because my dad will freak out since he payed for the stuff.) or the second option, which is just to be freinds with him. i really don't want that.but unfortunatly, one of the other girls that are on the team, told on me even though there are other people dating that are on the team aas well. her, being one of them, but THEY are allowed to date because the coach says that they are an exeption...dont ask me why... but anyways, she had helped me get with my boyfreind and then right when we start dating, she went and told the coach, and lied to me about it, then went and told my bf's mom, and started talking crap about me and my bf and now all the stat girls(what our position on the team is called) are all over my business, even though cam(my bf) and I split up momentarily, since his mum forbid us to date, because he needs to focus on wrestling and his grades. and we can't even hold hands or do anything romantic around skool because people are watching us and will tell. now the girl who told on us, told me today that cam might get benched(taken out of wrestling) because of breakin the rules and being with me 4 two freaking days! I need help! I dont know what to do!
why the hell is your school involved with your personal bussiness
thats stupid and if i was you i'd make a big deal out of this
talk to your parents and i hope they relize just how inapopriate that is for a school to say you can't date and ask them to back you and talk to the head of your school because that is jst wrong
if your don't want to make it bigger than it is just invite cam over your house or to someplace where not alot of people go so you two can still be together without everyone on your back and he can tell his mother that hes with friends or at the library
hope i helped!!
-esoccer1717
My bgf and i are really close and we are thinking about having a serious relationship together but im not physically attracted to him. is there a way i could become physically attracted to him? i think he might be to me im not sure but im not to him. also is it ok to date a guy who dated 2 girls you used to be friends with? cause he dated 2 of my old friends but they dont care if we date and we arent really friends anymore anyway. he didnt seriously date them it was just a thing but he and i want sumthing real and through all the relationships we have had we have always been best friends and kind of liked each other. everyone thinks we are perfect for each other and wants us to date but i dont know. also my mom doesnt want me to date him because he dated two of my old friends like i said. his family on the other hand really wants us to date and likes me a lot. what do u guys think? please tell me any thoughts you have and i will rate everyone!!! thanks!
i think you should go for it
but make sure you two decide that no matter what happens you two will always stay good friends
talk to your mom and say that its ok with the other girls and they weren't serious or anything
My ex boyfriend and I have known each other for over 6 years. Recently we've crossed paths again and became really good friends. He calls me like 6 times a day and we talk about absolutely nothing, but yet the conversation is anything but boring. Well, as you probably guessed I am starting to have feelings for him again. He always makes me laugh, and he compliments me alot. I just don't want to take a chance and ruin our friendship if there are no romantic feelings intended. He called me his "bestfriend" and even though its a great title, it wasn't really the one I was looking for. Does he like me? What should I do? I don't wanna mess things up.
huys are so weird, so its hard to tell if he likes you
i think he might but getting hurt sucks
it would be a good idea to bring up a memory from when you two were dating and talk about it then you can get on the conversation of why you two broke up
and they may lead to him telling you his feelings for you and what he sees in the future for you two
hope i helped
14/f
so I like two guys (this question isn't about picking one over the other, so please don't give me advice about that)....
one of them is a year older than me, and the only time I see him is sometimes he eats lunch with a bunch of us, and once in a while after school and like a function or something
and then the other guy...he's two years older than me and I only see him once in a while when we're in plays together...
I do have ways to contact both of them, but we're not really close enought that I could use them often for no reason
There's nothing really that special about me, I mean I can be wacky and odd and crazy and fun sometimes, but I tend to kind of fade when I'm around the two of them, and theres usually people around who are just as wacky and fun
how do I get either of them to notice me?
please help thanks!
be yourself
guys hate it when your fake and sluttish to try and get attention
if you want to flirt a little thats ok,
be silly but not stupid
play with their hands or hair
little complements are nice but don't make it obveous
well i hope i helped!