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I want to end it..advice please!
I'm in a long distance relationship, I want to end it. I haven't been happy for over a month, the distance isn't for me, and now it's interfering with my grades in college.
The guy I'm with is extremely emotional & I KNOW he'll cry/be upset for ages. (It took him over 2 yrs to get over his ex!) If I talk to him via the phone, he might possibly be able to suck me back in as he always does. But I'm tired of feeling bad for him, and I need some advice on how to not back down on my decision once he starts crying. I will feel bad, I do have some feelings for him, but I really KNOW in my heart that breaking up is the best decision for me.
I guess what I'm asking is..is phone the best way to do it? My friends suggested email, which I honestly would prefer, but he's very, VERY close with his parents, and I know my email would be shown to them. And knowing him, he might even ask them to contact my parents to try and talk me out of the break up. Yes, I am actually scared. I'm considering telling him that I'm moving so he thinks my address is different, and won't show up on my doorstep. You'd think we're 12 year olds, but he's 22, and I'm 19.
I KNOW he will have an emotional breakdown. Ah, I just really need advice on what to do? I want to this as soon as possible. I also don't know how to bring it up, we talk everyday. Should I start not talking to him as often, and then eventually do it? Please help!!
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if you truly want to end this long distant relationship there is nothing anyone can do you say to stop you and if they try and talk you out of they don't really understand. Your happiness is important and so are your grades. Do it over the phone which is better then email so he can't show people and make it seem like your the bad one. Keeping the feelings inside will tear you apart and sooner or later everything around you will start falling to pieces. Yes he will cry and you will be hurt as well but in the long run it may be good for the both of you. There's nothing wrong with being friends after the break up. Has he considred moving where you are to try and make it work out? Let me know how it works out. Good Luck!
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You have to be distant, as much as his pain will hurt you, you need to be thinking of you.
Talking to him on the phone will be better so you know your private email will not be shown all over. Tell him that you need this and if he cares about you he'll see this isnt working for eaither of you and that it.
Good luck and i know its hard!
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I would do it by phone. The internet is less personal and if you care about him the way you say you do you need to break up with him respectfully. Would you really want to be broken up with over the internet? I would say what you need to say, then tell him you can't talk any more and you have to hang up and that you would appreciate it if he did not try to contact you so you can try to start moving on. After that just don't talk to him. You need a clean break, just do it and be done.
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If you KNOW IN YOUR HEART that you need to do this, then you will do it. You will not let this man control you with emotional blackmail. Because that is what it is....he is blackmailing you with his emotions and he knows he can rope you back in. I know you have feelings for him, but remember.....you KNOW IN YOUR HEART that this relationship has to end. I agree with you that email is not appropriate. You will have to do it via phone. And you will have to be sympathetic, yet FIRM. You cannot be TOO sympathetic or he will interpret that as an invitation to beg you to stay with him. If you think he will show up on your doorstep, by all means....do whatever you need to do to keep him away. Above all...remember....you are not responsible for him. You are not responsible for his being very emotional.
You can do this. You need to do this. Good luck.
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