arielle316's advice column | arielle316's Advice About Love Life

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Q: 18/f
How would you guys feel if someone offered to cook you dinner in their home for a first date? I think it's awesome but some people seem to think it's a bad plan (ie. too forward for a first date). What kind of message does that send?
Granted this would not be with a complete stranger, I can see that could probably be a bit uncomfortable.

Just go with it, because it's cheap and casual. There's no pressure and you can relax a little. As far as sex goes, if you want it then fine, but if they think that's the message and you don't then be straight up with them. You aren't leading them on by making anyone dinner. In fact it's the other way around. an ass of a guy would typically pay for an expensive dinner or a movie in hopes to get something out of it but this is way more low key, but still nice

Q: Hi everybody,

I would like to write a letter to my boyfriend's mom basically just telling her how much I love her son. I guess the big problem is that I don't want to sound stupid or come across like a psychopath!

She is a great lady, and I can definitely see her son and I getting married someday. My boyfriend has dated a few girls before that treated him very badly. He has suffered a very broken heart more than once, so I really want to do this to help her stop looking at me like I am just the next girl to try and break her son's heart.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Is there anything I should not say?

I thank you.

I think writing is a brilliant idea. and sometimes you can't always say things in words. just let it flow and you will know what to say. you won't come across as a psycopath trust me. it will be sweet to her.

Q: Me and this guy have been talking for about a month or so. We hungout a few times during winter break and whatnot then when school started,we have a class together so we'd talk a lot ,he'd kiss me in school ,sit with me at lunch,all that stuff.Last week,during the school week we hungout a lot after school at the gym and at the library to do our homework and went out to eat etc. and on the weekend we made plans to chill ,but his family was coming down and he had a sweet sixteen to go to,so he didn't talk to me to much. This week at school,he didn't even realize how he ditched me and acted totally normal in class and kissed me ,etc and we hungout after school a few times and again made plans for the weekend. Friday (today) comes around and we had plans to chill at his house after we went to the gym.While i was driving him home from school (i had planned to go home first and then we were gonna chill) his mom called him and told him that they had to go pickup his brother at college (3 hours away) he ofcourse had to postpone our plans to later in the night.He said he would text me when he got home ,which he said he'd be home at 10pm.I told him to text me while he's riding in the car if he's bored and to let me know when he's home.He kissed me and got out of the car and said "okay i will ! " and never did.He didn't text me once since ive dropped him off.I don't get it! He seems like he likes me during the week and then this happens! Is he not interested? or am i just overhthinking?

I think you may be overthinking. I never text when I am around my mom, it's a little rude I to me. And if he kisses you at school and its been a month he obviously isn't sick of you or afraid to show his affection. If he has family things, that is a little more important in my opinion, especially because he sees you all week. I really wouldn't overthink it, just maybe ditch him sometime or something you know? Even it out and pretend you don't care that much. You shouldn't be at his beck and call to hang with or change plans whenever. While it's inconsiderate of him to tell you not in advance, you have to understand that stuff sometimes does come up. But he obviously likes you.

Q: I'm in a long distance relationship.

My boyfriend went home for christmas, he's gone for 1 month. And for some reason, I feel really bad making him come on skype to talk to me while he's away, cause i feel like the point of him being there is to be with family..and doing other things and such.

Anyway, we usually talk every couple days while he's away, but the first thing he told me was that in the airport..where he had to wait 6hrs due to delayed flights, he met a girl, they talked for 4 hours, and split a bottle of red wine. He said they talked about relationships, and i don't think he even mentioned me. Now hes home, and tells me he's been talking to his brothers gf all day on skype. But he can't tell me hes on?? He called me on skype for about 45 mins, his brother talked to me while he talked to his brothers gf, hahah messed up, i know.

But, it's not just that. He ALWAYS talks to me about his exes, and how he wonders what they're up to and stuff. I can't figure out honestly what it is, but all this other girl talk, and having fun with other girls, makes me SO jealous. I've talked to him about it once, didn't say anything when he was chatting about the girl at the aiport/brothers gf though.

Blah, i guess i just need advice. does he just seem like a flirty person? weve been dating 5 months, and he had talked about his exes even before we were dating. but now i just get so jealous, but dont bring it up, as i know its not a pretty trait to have. but then i sit here with my feelings hurt. ah, any advice?!

alrighty well let's see... honestly does sound a bit odd that he would do stuff like that. Is he flirty? I'm not sure because i have never met him. anyone can be flirtacious to an extent.

My boyfriend is extremely flirty, and this may sound weird but look at how he treats guys to girls..is it different? My boyfriend when you step back really treats both genders the same. But of course in your mind, the same sex is always a threat. Also, I can be flirty too. We are also in a very long distance relationship at school and after a year together broke up then ended up back together. If you realize you want to be with someone you should be able to turn off your flirtaciousness. Which we've now both done...let's face it. high school is over.

About you getting jealous! There is NOTHING wrong with feeling that way. He's here you're there? You don't know who he is talking to or hanging with or doing. Come up with an agreement like when you go out let each other know or something like that.

Also about talking and communication. One-yes it is messed up he talks to his brother's gf... ask him if you could talk to him for a whole day (sarcastically) and then say ummm well i thought this time was to be with your family but you're spending it on skype anyway so why not just talk to me? (cute voice)

relationships are hard sometimes but there a lot less work than they need to be. If you aren't happy get out of it. But just tell him what's up. And if he really likes you then he probably gets just as jealous. sometimes all problems need is a little tug to loosen the knot, and then once the knot is out you can tie your shoes and walk forward...(read that somewhere) haha. goodluck. i don't know exactly what you need. if you feel hurt ask yourself, "well if i'm hurt then is there not obviously something causing it?"
and he should not talk about exes. you should talk about how ugly they were and he should go "haha yea they were"

he seems to just need boyfriend lessons in my opinion.

Q: well I have a bf.he askd me out on xmas eve. I liked him sooo much. nd even before he askd me out and I still do.well he has A LOT of friends that are girls. and I get super jealous when he talks to them or something. I talked to him sorta about it over texting.and he says he understands the "I don't want to be hurt" but he said not to worry cause he isn't going to break up with me and for me not to be jealous.well my question is how can I get over my jealousy? cause it always leads to us arguing I don't want us to break up. please don't say "just don't think about it.just trust him" cuz we do trust eachother we went over that.and I trust him just not the other girls.and if you gona say "talk to him" I have a couple times. so if your gona say that then at least give me some pointers on what to say! please and thankyou in advance!!!

okay. well :) i have kind of the same problem. or at least i use to. i have been dating my boyfriend for abour 6 months now and in the beginning this sort of thing bothered me more. we go to different schools so it makes it harder but it definitely forces the issue. i know me-ill be talking up a storm with my guyfriends. and i know him-and why should he not talk it up with his own friends? does this boy of yours ever tell you that he gets jealous when you talk to guys? if not, he probably still does but he is trying not to let it get the best of him. trust me, jealousy is not going to help anything. and sure, a little bit makes the other feel of a bit of importance, but it truly gets out of proportion if it is ongoing.

the other thing in my situation is that i dont party, he does. so there i have to trust the other girls. and i have to trust the alcohol. now i will never trust the alcohol but i have to trust that he wont put himself in a position that will make him or i regret anything. its still hard and i had an ex who got drunk and went with another girl which, to say the least, wasn't fun to deal with.
you just have to know his morals and that he wont do anything to you. deep down youre probably always going to feel that spout of jealousy towards the other girls. it happens. but if they're just talking and your man isnt like "alone" alone with any of them, you really dont have anything to worry about. if you truly think he wont do anything to hurt you, then there you go, he wont do anything to hurt you. you know him better than me. he should respect your wishes of not overspending time with them but he shouldn't cut them out of his life either. just try to laugh it off and kind of joke about it with him. like when you're on the phone and about to hang up be like "so im tired, ill let you go." and he'll be like alright and then you say, "but hey itll give you a little bit of time to call your other girlfriends right?" and then laugh so he knows its jokingly. itll ease things up a bit.

goodluck!

Q: 17/f
me and this guy who is also my best friend have liked each other on and off for the past 5 years but he's had this complicated and rediculous relationship thats been on and off so i was afraid to get involved with him and then have him go back to this girl who he broke up with nine times. well he finally broke up with her for good. their parents refuse to let them date anymore because now they've broken up ten times.

its been a week since the break up.
now is our time. i've slept at his house before but never when he was single. we always joke about sex and making out so when i slept over at his house this past weekend i was nervous about what he'd want to do. i thought he'd at least try to kiss me but since then i've found out that he was hesitant to do anything because he respects me so much he didn't want to do anything unless i said i wanted to do it.

personally...i dont think its romantic when you talk about kissing before actually doing it. i like it to be spontaneous. but we talked about it and then he kissed me...and somehow i missed. then he says we're going to try it again so we kissed 3 more times. three times that seemed pretty damn good to me but hes "not counting it" because it lacked passion and "i just sat there". i was laying down and he was on top of me..there wasn't a whole lot of moving room.

so he said the rest of the night he felt weird because it wasn't what he was expecting and then the next morning i didn't feel good because i have blood glucose problems and occationally just dont feel good so the next morning it was just really quiet. we didn't speak to each other until i had to go.

so that was that...next day (today) he drove me home from school. and we had a very long conversation about it. we drove around the block, stopped at random places...it took 40minutes to drive 8miles. i told him that as much as i appreciated his respect for me i would like it better if he just did what he wanted to do my exact words were "ya gotta just be a man and go for the gold!!" so he starts slowing the car down again and i ask what he was doing and he says "im gonna be a man...as soon as i find somewhere to pull over" so he found a spot to pull over, he unbuckled his seatbelt leaned over and kissed me. and then he kept leaning in futher and further...he was smooshing my face. so once again he said i wasn't putting anything into it..but how can i when hes smooshing my face in! and it was so rediculous i started laughing in the middle of it.

so basically we're just gonna keep doing this until we get it right but i dont know how to make this better!! eventually we're going to go out and this can't happen!

help me please. i have a feeling this is going to be a daily problem if i cant fix it.

oh by the way. the last boyfriend i had was 3years ago and i haven't kissed since so its kind of all new to me again.

same as christina...but um seriously? its only been a week since the break up? doesnt he need space? if not go for it, but i just dont want you to become his rebound girl...best of luck.

Q: I'm really in a huge trouble.

A week ago I just found myself falling in love with an 11 or 12 year-old boy(he won't tell me his age)

I'm 14.

I've been against having younger bf.

I donno what I should do.

How to deal with the situation.

We are quite close. his class is right next to mine.

And I really wanna know if he likes me too.

How do I do that?

I would really appreciate all your advises.

i once had a crush on a guy that was 2 years younger than me...actually it was really bad cuz it was my best friends younger bro!! haha. but yea it can always work out and i know of plenty of older girl-younger guy relationships that work out. i think you should just ask him what he thinks of you because chances are he will not make the first move just for the fact that he is younger and probably intimidated by you. hope that this helps in some way :) good luck!

Q: 24/f
so here is the shortest version of the story I can manage. When I was seventeen I met the love of my life. we both knew it the moment we met. we lived 8 hours away from eachother but had a long distance relationship. he is 2 years older so he moved to the east coast to be in a band before I got out of highschool. i was supposed to go when I graduated but as life goes...I moved to the west coast with another man when I was 18. when i was 20 we found eachother again and he still in the band we saw eachother a few times and were still in love. this is like really true love, our hearts and souls are meant to be. he cannot leave his band, they tour 10 months out of the year. anyway we stayed in contact and over the years he would fly out between tour dates and spend a few days with me. two years ago we decided it was very hard to be together long distance so we agreed to see other people because we were both lonely but we both knew we still loved eachother. we planned to get married when I moved from the west coast. he started seeing his ex and I met someone from work. we still stayed in touch and in love. well, I ended up getting pregnant and had a baby with a man i do not love, and still do not love. we lost contact after I had my baby, he was really hurt yet supportive of me keeping the child. I two years later, my son is over a year old and I still live with his father who is not a nice person at all. Recently we started talking again and although we are both in relationships the love is still there. I guess i just need advice on how to move on from here...i am staying with my baby's father for my son, but I love this other man so much. he is constantly touring so its not like we can be together because I cannot move to his home base because it would bring my son 2000 miles away from his dad. I just dont know what to do. I love him and I know we are destined to be together. sorry if my question is not really precise, but any advice would help me greatly. this man is always on my mind and I know now that i am always on his mind. thanks

I know that having yours son, choices are now extremely hard for you, especially on matters of the heart. But if you are not in love with his father, then you can't stay together with him. Your son won't understand for a long long time why but he will eventually. If you are in love with someone and they are in love with you then you need to compromise with him. If he truly loves you then he will want to make time for you and compromise.
Your son is very young so he will not quite understand what is happening for a few years but explaining things lightly to him will help the situation slightly.
Does the current man you are with think you are in love with him? Because if he does, you need to let him know that you arent. You cant live a lie the rest of your life, to him or yourself.
Make sure that your son will be able to have contact with his father b/c it is definitely unhealthy for him to not know him.
But remember, it will be worse for your son if you are not a loving parent to your partner. Kids see they're parents and learn from them; if you arent in love with your partner, your son will figure that out eventually anyway.
And though you need to do what's best for your son, you need to follow your heart's desire b/c there is nothing worse than love that's been stripped away from you. Your son will understand when he falls in love himself, even if thats awhile from now.
Whatever makes you happiest is the right thing. And i know that whatever makes your son happy will make you happy as well so when you figure out a cure for both of your happinesses, then that will be the right route.

Hope that everything goes well...

Q: alright so my ex boyfriend is one of the i guess you could say "popular jocks" at my school, he had a rep for going out with girls and braking up with them as soon as he got sex.. well his rep changed with me because we went out for like almost a year so people stopped saying that about him.. well its been like 6 months since we broke up and i have a new boyfriend who i have been going out with for 1 month and some friends of my ex boyfriends told my new boyfriend that i was all used up.. and at first he didnt get what they ment but then did ( my ex also has a rep for having i big dick ha, witch he does) but yeah and my boyfriend is a virgin and idk.. should i ask him what he thinks about all this because it looked like he got annoyed? like.. do you think he cares that ive had sex before i mean .. im not like extremely lose? but what are some ways to become i guess.. less loose? we havent really talked since this happend today and idk what to do about it?? any ideas?

he shouldnt really care. i think if anything he would like a girl who has a little more experience, whether thats a good thing or bad... just ask him if he is ok about everything. bring it up by just saying "is everything okay?" but dont push it, he may not want to discuss your former relationship w/ this other boy. just dont act awkward whatever you do. remember that a situation can never be awkward unless you make it that way. and if he acts awkward, tell him that as well. just be relaxed and act normal, it will all fall into place. dont worry about whatever these other guys are saying, guys are always known for saying stupid crap like that, but your bf should know that and he'll get over that b/c it's just what guys do. no worries :)

Q: 16-f
we've been dating for about 6 months now will be 8 by his b-day

ok well my boyfriends b-day is comming up in about 2 months and im thinking about what im gonna get him now to get it out of the way..

he got me a frog that has a crown sayig he's my prince so i was thinking maybe getting him a animal of some sort with a crown and saying im his princess.

and we dont have many pictures of us yet but i was thinking of maybe making him a photocube with the lyrics to our song on it.

does this sound ok or sound like something you would like or your man would???

any more suggestions i dont have much money so im trying to keep it cute but low budget.

that sounds very nice.
maybe does he have a car? maybe get him like a car decoration or sumthing..that would be nice. something manly of course haha

def get him food too, like chocolates or something

Q: ok ivebeen dating my bf for 8 months and his b-days commin up he's gonna be 17 years old and i dont have any idea hwat to get him! he isnt interested in anything really used to be in sports but doesnt want anything to do with sports he doesnt do much because his world is me pretty much not because i force it just because we are in love and im the only thing he cares much about.
what would you get your boyfriend and what do you think i should get him?
give as many ideas as possible

food.
gift card from a store he likes.
out to dinner.
concert.
collage of u and him.
chocolates...

Q: 14/f
i'm going into high school soon and i've never kissed or dated a guy. I've only had one guy ask me out but it was over IM and I turned him down.

Do you think guys won't like me if they know i don't know how to kiss, or i've never dated or anything. Or will they think it's cute and not care and go along with it and date/kiss me?

or will they like take advantege of me??
I'm pretty shy, but I have a lot of friends, and some guy friends but not a lot.

help

its okay haha. you are only 14 years old hun. im 16 and i still havnt had my first kiss yet. and ive had 3 boyfriends (one of who has already had sex before). i dont think that guys will takee advantage of you if you make sure to give them the right idea of what you are truly looking for and what you expect from them. and especially at age 14, you dont need to worry about having your first kiss yet. when i was younger i would have thought i would have had my first kiss by now (part of me still wonders why haha) but most of the girls in my grade have actually never had theirs yet either. just dont worry about it, it may seem like everyone else has but they really havnt...it will come when it is meant to...

Q: okay so there is this guy sam and he likes me well at least i think he does and he has asked me out before and i said no becuase i only look at him only as a friend.....so months passed by and i went out with his friend two of his friends tommy and nick and im still in love with tommy by the way lol....but now sam is texting me more and im talking to him becuase i'm always bored well he told me he has strong feelings about me and i said the same thing back becuase he's a really cool guy he's nice and gives good advice then theres this guy my friend wants me to talk to adrian and im interested in talking to him to but what if i want to get with adrian? but...dont want to hurt sam what do. and i really want a boyfriend also, i do this all sucks but i need advice becuase i dont want to hurt anybody and seem like a bitch that is leading people on you know? so yeah if someone can help

you just need to take a breather and think about which is best for you. im sure they all have different qualities that you like about them, but you have to be honest to them and yourself. you dont have time for everyone. so maybe make a pros/cons list and try and figure out which one you truly want the most. also ask some of your girlfriends what they think about each guy. and yea, you are going to hurt their feelings if you dont pick them but hey, they'll get over it eventually. better stop sooner rather than later right? cuz by waiting and leading them on further its just going to make it harder on everyone. try to cut back communication slightly with whoever you dont want to lead on and hope that they get the picture and if they continue to ask you about how you feel for them just say i dont know who i like at the moment or just tell them straight up though i know that can be hard. i once liked a guy who i had to tell i didnt like him even though i liked him a lot for some really hard reasons, and let me tell you it was not fun. but it will all end up okay. i promise!! :p hope that i helped you and everything goes great!!...

Q: Ehhh its coomning up soo soon and i have nothing to wear i want to get the cutest outfit every my ex boyfriend is taking me out for valentines and i have to look completly gorgeous i want some kind of stilleto high boots and a cute outfit i dont know where to go for my outfit i dont know what to even where i need to win him back someone please help! And i also have to do something amazing with my hair. Help me get him backk please =)

wow girl, i am in kind of the same dilemma haha. so you need to wear something red or pink because research has shown that guys feel something toward those colors, plus it is valentines day which suits that well. if you are thin wear a cute tight sweater or a flowy longer shirt with leggings. it will be so adorable. if your are not then wear a flowy shirt with cute jeans. wear your hair down of course, straightened or curly depending on where you are going. but i curl my hair for school sometimes and that seems to get some attention. make sure what you wear you feel absolutely confident in so you aren't freaking out the entire time, but at the same time a little sexy/cute. i dont know if i would wear boots but if boots are your thing then go for it. i would go for a cute pair of stilleto heels but not boots. but again, if you like them the sure, go for it! do light makeup on your face, but slightly dark eyeliner, guys like that. make sure your eyelashes are curled as well. good luck getting him back!!! we are in this together!!! let me know what happens btw :)
hope this helps...

Q: okay well i have been dating someone for almost 2 years and i really do love him.before me and him got together i was dating another guy for 2 and a half years and right after me and him broke up i got together with my ex. well i always tell myself and everyone around me i do not like my ex and im glad we arent together.. we dont even talk anymore.. but for some reason as soon as something happens between me and my current boyfriend i always think of my ex. and tonight i was out with my family and i saw my ex walk in with his current gf they have been together for a little over a year.. and all of a sudden i was so upset i kept thinking about my ex and the things we did together i think alot of this was because the place we were eating at was a place me and him would always go to. i kept thinking that it was suppose to be me and him there and i think my mom saw that i was getting upset so she mentioned my current boyfriend and i was fine. i am still thinking about what happened at the restaurant and i think what bothers me the most is that i was thinking about my ex when i claim i love my boyfriend now. it may just be that my ex was my "first true love" or maybe i was a little jealous or maybe i do still want to be with him? i dont know i am so confused. what do you think it is and what do you think i should do about it?

thank you,
confused

well, ive thot about my exes while with other guys before...and learned my lesson.
the fact is that you want what you cant have, end of story. you probably are in love with your current bofriend. but you cant help but recall certain things about your old bofriend. as much as its hard, you hav to stop comparing them tho. chances are, there's dif things you like about each of them. but you're broken up with your ex now, and he also is with someone else. so if you're thinking of breaking up with your current and trying to get back together with your ex, its not gonna be pretty.
plus, you're going to say the same thing about your current bf if you break up with him. but right now you dont feel that way, because,well, you've got him right? nothing more to try for kinda-thing.
also think about: if your ex knocked on your door right now...would you take him back and ditch your current? idk wat you think, but im pretty sure you would not...

the other thing why your probably feeling that way is becaus you never talk. its hard to get closure with someone you never ever talk to. its all open-ended and unsolved feelings flying in all directions. but trust me, you will get over this feeling eventually. just ignore it. the grieving process over your ex will come to an end sooner or later...focus on your current, but if you're feeling like you like your ex more, then maybe its time to be single for awhile to figure out exactly what you need? just a suggestion.

happy christmas by the way!! hope that i helped you out some...

Q: ok so theres this guy (Kaleb)that i used to like a while ago so i flirted with him but then i ended up going out with this guy christian.I still kinda liked Kaleb but i couldnt flirt with him anymore. So 1 day Kaleb sked me if i was goin out w/ any1 and i said yes.he just said oh...who?so its been a while since then and christian and i broke up.So today i was sittin on the floor at skool(we were watchin a movie)and Kaleb was sittin in a chair next to me.Then all of a sudden He gets up and puts the chair away.then he sits right next to me.he asked me if the man in the movie fell in love with the tour lady and i laughed and said yeah.then he just looked at me for a couple seconds..then he leaned back and moved his hand RIGHT next to me almost touching me.He asked me if i was still goin out with chris. and i said no.Then he laughed and said that the guy was tryin 2 hit on the lady and w/o lookin i said yeah and he looked at me 4 a long time.i like him alot what should i do??

um yea, he likes you!! just flirt back a lot. but let him make the first move. dont worry about anything. its the guy's turn to take a little control of matters...

Q: So, I really like this guy named Jason. But there are many things that make it seem like it couldn't work. At the beginning of the year, i went out with his best friend, James. Also, he calls me and my friend slut #1 and slut #2. but i think its just a joke. And he makes up these 'episodes' of me and teryn [slut #1] being lesbians and all this other stuff. Ya see, jason has these random mood swings that i cant stand! today, i whispered in teryns ear 'i cant believe i ever went out with jake!' and he goes 'if you dont tell me what you said, then i wont be your friend anymore'. also, one day [i cant remember what he said that made me say this] i said 'i dont like your haircut' then he goes 'well i dont like your chest' then i gave him an 'excuse me' look and he said 'yeah! grow some!'hes such a pervert but hes so hott and ive tried to get over him but i just cant! the only reason i like him isnt that hes hott though. i dont even know why i like him so much! (7th grade; im a girl)
HELP ME!

i went out with this one guy who was classic bad-boy material. im not sure why i fell for him in the first place, but he sounds a lot like this guy. and i think the only reason i got over him was because he was so hott. but yea, you're only in 7th grade, so you'll get over him and find someone waaay better(i hope. haha) there's other hott guys out there who are nice too. you want the whole package, dont settly for anything less than the best!!

Q: the girl that i like i do not know how to tell her that i like her.....................

um, you need to give a little more information about the circumstance that youre in.lol. it all depends.
1. your ages
2. are you friends? close friends? friendly? or nonexistent to her?
3. how do you know her?
4. how does she act? awkard? flirty? smart? is she pretty? what does she like to do?
5. what signs of liking you has she given?
6. do you think she wants you to tell her you like her? and wher do plan on going afterward? ask her out or just state that you have a crush on her??

Q: (kind of long)i went out with a good friend of mine for about two months and he broke up with me because he said he felt that our relationship wasnt really going anywhere and it was kinda dead.in a way i kinda agree.its just that while i was with him he got on my nerves by the way he acted sometimes but we where really physical alot.like we were more intament then mental.i never kissed him or had sex with him but we would like touch each other like under the school tables.i know its retarted but it was fun.he was also like ubsest with my butt!lol!but i kinda liked it.well anyway we stayed friends but i keep getting these physical feelings about him.like i keep wanting to almost be friends with benifits because i felt so like sexually connected with him and i miss that.then again i feel like i would be a complete slut if i did that and im not that kinda girl.we still kind of flirt with each other and he like smacked me really hard on my butt and he evn liked grabed it when we were slightly play fighting.i wished i could have said something but i couldnt because i know inside that i liked it!im just really confused right now.he told me that hes still physically attracted to me but not mentally because i argued with him alot beacuse he got on my nerves sometimes.he said that when i wasnt arguing i hardley talked.i dont think that but he also said that we touched each other more then we talked.lol.hes a really good friend and really funny but i still am confused on my feelings anout him and its driving me crazy!!!!!can someone help me please!!!

well, i had kinda the same thing. i went out with like my best guy friend for about a month and a half and im not really sure what happened either, but he just got on my nerves so freaking much so it didnt work out. i dont like him any more, but im stil pretty attracted to him, and sometimes get pretty strong physical feelings for him once in awhile (just in time for us to arugue again. lol) we are stil like really good friends too and hang out all the time but we very subtly fight quite a bit...

so anyway, i think that you should decide if you like him at ALL mentally. if not then, no, absolutely not friends with benefits. im sorry, i just think that that's not the right move. chances are if you agreed to something like that, you, being the girl, will become VERY emotionally attached to being with him and when it all ends again, you will regret it. you need to find someone that you like both physically and mentally. also, this all depends on how old you are. if you are still in high school, then that is exactly what i think about the matter. However, if you happen to be already graduated from high school and feel mature enough to handle it then i suppose it is really up to the both of you but i still would not do it in my opinion...hope that i helped you!

Q: Hey!
Ok, so i like this guy named dylan. Long story short, my friend kelly told him that i like him. I liked dylan 2 months ago,(then i stopped but now i like him again) and someone told him that i liked him then, and he didnt talk with me for a week.
We were just becoming really good friends and he was showing tons of signs that he likes me.
Now i dont know what to do.. Do i just ignore the fact that he knows i like him or..??
When kelly told him she said the reason i didnt want him to know was because i didnt want things to be different between us, and he said dont worry they wont.. What the heck did he mean by that?
And last question.. So he just got the iphone, and i knew he didnt have my nember, so when he came over to me and my friend christina in the hallway i asked if he had my number. He said no. I asked if he wanted it, he was like Uh... um.. sure?! But he walked away a couple seconds later.. i never gave it too him.. Does this mean he doesnt like me?? or.. did he just forget? After i said i would give it to him, christina said something funny, he laughed then walked away if that helps any.
Thanks soo much!

alright, well, it kinda sounds like he's not really sure what he wants. but if he knows that you are interested he's probably taking any opportunity to be all over you. trust me, guys LOVE attention. but it doesnt sound as if he like you back to the point of crush-mode. i dont personally know him but if he knows that you like him and hasnt done anything by now then i really dont think he is because most guys will go after what they want if they know they can have it. this is not for ALL guys mind you, just many of them, so dont get your hopes up. but at the same time, dont worry about it. you may like him a lot. i definitely know what it is to really like someone. but hey, i may sound pathetic saying this but my first bf was last year during my sophomore year of high school...plenty of people i know have never even dated yet. there's nothing wrong with that and there's still time for you yet!! haha