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Jealousy help.
I'm in a long distance relationship.
My boyfriend went home for christmas, he's gone for 1 month. And for some reason, I feel really bad making him come on skype to talk to me while he's away, cause i feel like the point of him being there is to be with family..and doing other things and such.
Anyway, we usually talk every couple days while he's away, but the first thing he told me was that in the airport..where he had to wait 6hrs due to delayed flights, he met a girl, they talked for 4 hours, and split a bottle of red wine. He said they talked about relationships, and i don't think he even mentioned me. Now hes home, and tells me he's been talking to his brothers gf all day on skype. But he can't tell me hes on?? He called me on skype for about 45 mins, his brother talked to me while he talked to his brothers gf, hahah messed up, i know.
But, it's not just that. He ALWAYS talks to me about his exes, and how he wonders what they're up to and stuff. I can't figure out honestly what it is, but all this other girl talk, and having fun with other girls, makes me SO jealous. I've talked to him about it once, didn't say anything when he was chatting about the girl at the aiport/brothers gf though.
Blah, i guess i just need advice. does he just seem like a flirty person? weve been dating 5 months, and he had talked about his exes even before we were dating. but now i just get so jealous, but dont bring it up, as i know its not a pretty trait to have. but then i sit here with my feelings hurt. ah, any advice?!
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Your boyfriend is breaking one of the prime rules of dating. When in a relationship, never bring up past relationships. It's not okay to talk about them because it just causes tension in current relationship. He should be focused on your relationship. It's okay for him to be friends with them or wonder what they're up to now a days, but as far as talking about the relationship he had with them, it just makes things a little weird for you.
As far as him talking to other girls (in a friendly way) I don't really see the problem. Just because your boyfriend has girls who are friends, it doesn't make him a flirty person - he's just friendly. I don't think you have a reason to be concerned about that.
But, what does bring up a red flag is that he didn't even talk to you on Skype, he made his brother talk to you. To me that just seems kind of rude, especially because you guys hadn't talked in a few days. I'd be upset if my boyfriend did that to me, and I'm pretty sure my boyfriend would be upset if I did that to him.
If it bothers you, speak up. Don't sit back & let that happen because if you say nothing, it'll continue to go on, and you'll continue to wonder why your feelings are constantly hurt. Say something to him about this. He won't know that you're upset or jealous if you don't bring it up. Don't be rude about it, just say "Hey, it really hurts me when we don't chat on Skype for a few days, and then when we finally got to, you sent your brother. It was like you didn't care about me or like you didn't wanna talk to me. It really hurt, and I miss you." If you're nice, but firm about it, he'll get the point.
That's the only thing you need to be concerned with. Other than that, you can't really do much about him having female friends. It's bound to happen. Just like it's inevitable for you to have male friends. :) Don't worry. He's not flirty, just friendly.
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alrighty well let's see... honestly does sound a bit odd that he would do stuff like that. Is he flirty? I'm not sure because i have never met him. anyone can be flirtacious to an extent.
My boyfriend is extremely flirty, and this may sound weird but look at how he treats guys to girls..is it different? My boyfriend when you step back really treats both genders the same. But of course in your mind, the same sex is always a threat. Also, I can be flirty too. We are also in a very long distance relationship at school and after a year together broke up then ended up back together. If you realize you want to be with someone you should be able to turn off your flirtaciousness. Which we've now both done...let's face it. high school is over.
About you getting jealous! There is NOTHING wrong with feeling that way. He's here you're there? You don't know who he is talking to or hanging with or doing. Come up with an agreement like when you go out let each other know or something like that.
Also about talking and communication. One-yes it is messed up he talks to his brother's gf... ask him if you could talk to him for a whole day (sarcastically) and then say ummm well i thought this time was to be with your family but you're spending it on skype anyway so why not just talk to me? (cute voice)
relationships are hard sometimes but there a lot less work than they need to be. If you aren't happy get out of it. But just tell him what's up. And if he really likes you then he probably gets just as jealous. sometimes all problems need is a little tug to loosen the knot, and then once the knot is out you can tie your shoes and walk forward...(read that somewhere) haha. goodluck. i don't know exactly what you need. if you feel hurt ask yourself, "well if i'm hurt then is there not obviously something causing it?"
and he should not talk about exes. you should talk about how ugly they were and he should go "haha yea they were"
he seems to just need boyfriend lessons in my opinion.
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Tell him it bothers you for one. You've been dating long enough that you can be honest with him about things like that. I hate to say it, but if that's the first thing he brought up while talking to you, it kind of sounds like something more happened. I'm not exactly sure why he'd be talking to his bro's girlfriend though. I hate to say it but it sounds like he really just doesn't like you that much. It's better you know now though. Honestly your better off.
xoxo,
dottie4
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honestly, if i was in your position i would be jealous too based on what he says to you and how he acts with other girls. honestly, if he had time to talk to his brothers girlfriend he definitely could have had time to talk to you. even though nothin happened with the girl in the airport, it was really unnecessary for him to tell you that 1. they split a bottle of wine and 2. that they talked about relationships. also, he shouldnt be bringin up his exes. thats just wrong and rude.
i think that the things he does are either because he tries to get a reaction out of you for his own satisfaction, or hes just an asshole. i think that you could find a way better guy, because obviously youre trustworthy and loyal if youve been in a long distance relationship with him for this long. break ups are never fun but i think that you should save yourself the heartbreak and hurt feelings.
sorry hun, messsage me if you need anythin :(
x sweeethoney
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