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14 f
my boyfriendd really wants to finger me. neither of us have before .. ive givenn a hj hes gotten one and then hooking up and all that junkk.. but i don't know what to expectt on this one. like what am i supposed to do? how much is it going to hurt? what happenss if/when like he pops my cherry or something lol idk i feel raelly stupid asking this but i dont knoww anything about this. im kinda scared but i lovee him and im ready to move onn . help! xo (link)
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You're scared because you think he is going to insert finger(s) into your vagina and that it's going to hurt. So it's important that you don't rush things. Here are some ideas how to avoid any discomfort:
1) You'll feel more relaxed if you're in control. So ask him to gently rub your clitoris, and insert his finger ONLY IF/WHEN you ask him to (technically, it's still fingering even if clitoral massage is all he does). It's extremely important that you get aroused first by clitoral stimulation, because thet way your vaginal wall won't be dry, and inserting fingers won't hurt. Just to be sure, let his fingers be moistened with saliva or KY jelly. And make sure he washes his hands before he touches your nether regions! ;)
2) It will be most helpful if you masturbate by yourself first. That will help you know how you like to be touched and what can make you orgasm. Many girls don't know how to touch their clitoris, and most boys (even older guys) are absolutely clueless! So knowing how to do it yourself will enable you to communicate your likes and dislikes to your boyfriend.
3) A girl is a virgin until she has intercourse, which means until a guy's penis enters her vagina. So don't be afraid to explore your body. Feel free to insert a (lubricated!) finger into your vagina. When one finger feels comfortable, insert two. All this will help you feel less stressed out when your boyfriend does the same thing. The rule of the thumb is, before you try intercourse, you should be able to insert two (lubricated!) fingers into your vagina without any discomfort. You get there by practising.
Enjoy experimenting, and feel free to ask if I wasn't clear about something in this answer! :)
Love
Agnes
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I'm a 16-year old, junior girl, and I'm dating this 18-year old, senior guy who I recently met. We first went out about two weeks ago, and we've been on 4 (I think) dates altogether. We are "officially dating", and so far we've made out with some upper-body fondling and a bit of dry-humping. I've had some sexual experiences, but I'm still officially a virgin. He seems to know what he's doing, but it seems like it's usually a "taboo" to ask someone if they're a virgin, or how many people they've slept with. I know that he wants to take it further into lower-body fondling, and that's fine with me, but I think that gives me the right to know if there are any potential things I should be concerned about, like STDs and such.
Basic question: How long should I wait before asking him, and how should I ask him if and how many girls he has slept with before? (link)
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You might want to initiate this conversation when you feel you're ready to engage in more serious sexual activities with him. The moment when that will happen entirely depends on you - the only rule is that if you don't feel comfortable talking about sex with your boyfriend, then you're not ready to have sex with him and you should wait until you know him better. Don't ask him how many girls he has slept with, as he may be embarrassed if it "wasn't enough" by other boys' standards (ego thing). A convenient way to start this conversation is to tell him that you like him and that you would like to try more things with him. Do it in a quiet place, sit next to him and maintain physical contact. If his reaction is positive, just tell him that you'd be more relaxed if you were sure that there is no risk of STDs, or whatever worries you, that it's the reason why you would like to know if he has had previous sexual experiences and if he has, has he been tested for STDs.
You should let him know that you are a virgin (in case he feels that it's a taboo to ask that too), because it's important for him to know that before you take your relationship further.
Happy communication!
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okay so i am 15/f and i have been dating this kid for 10 months. He is wicked sweet to me when we are alone but in front of his frends and in school he always is yelling at me for no reason. i dont know if he is nice with me when we are alone just to get stuff and is being a jerk or he is just shy in front of people. but he does call me late at night because he is talkin to his other girl friends online and he gets mad when i say he doesnt love me. is he a jerk and should i move on or is he just shy in front of people?? (link)
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He is probably afraid that other boys will laugh at him if he shows affection towards you in public, because that would make him less of a "man" in their eyes, but that's not the only problem here. Ask yourself, do you really, but REALLY love this boy? If there is the slightest doubt, it means that there is something wrong in your relationship. The only valid reason to end it are your feelings!
But if you're 100% sure that you love him, then you should do your best to save what you have. Talk to him and tell him that his behaviour hurts you, and that you have every right to expect from your boyfriend not to hurt you! If he loves you like he says, he will do something about it. If he doesn't - move on!
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sorry in advanced if its too long, but please PLEASE take the time to read it, i really need answers thanks alot!!
this weekend i slept round my cousins and his mate was sleeping there aswell. so me and his mate (alex) got on really well, after just knowing each other for like 2 hours, so this is friday night were just messing around on my cousins trampoline and my cousin starting tickling (sp?) me on my ribs and then i told him to stop bcoz i was really ticklesh there. so anyway ever since then alex has been messing bout tickling me on my ribs aswell.
on saturday, again, we were playing bout on my cousins trampoline and by saturday me and alex got on really well, so anyway we all just sorta fell back on the trampoline and alex lyed next to me and starting tickling my neck.
so later on we were playing on my cousins ps2 and i was sitting on the 1 seated chair and my cousin was sitting on the stool so alex had no where to sit so he sat on the edge of my chair and sorta slide down and sat next 2 me, so we were squashed up on the chair and he kept on tickling my ribs again. after about 5 minutes he put his right leg over my left leg and then put his right foot behind my other leg (sorry if that confuses you). and when ever we sat next to each other he would sit really close to me and sometimes put his hand on my leg.
another thing about alex he says he fancys this girl called grace at his school, but so does my cousin and im just really confused!!
so my question is, does alex REALLY like me??
thanks ALOT for reading this!!
xxxxxxxx (link)
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You also forgot to mention your age, but I suppose all three of you are in your early teens. Boys' hormones are really raging at that age, and it's perfectly normal that they will like two, three or even more girls at the same time! So yes, Alex likes you, and enjoys being physical with you. If something new happens with the two of you feel free to inbox me!
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I have a really good guy friend who's name is Patrick. We've been friends for like 2 months. He goes to my school and he's in my Science class. I added him onto myspace, and then I asked for his screenname. When I signed onto AIM, I IM'ed him and we talked for 4 hours straight non-stop. I talk to him every [school] day in person, and I IM him on AIM. We talk for a minimium of 2 hours. BTW, he's obsessed with Motion City Soundtrack. This was our conversation on AIM last night:
Patrick: So are you gonna get me anything for xmas lol
Me: Maybe, what do you want?
Me: It has to be 30 dollars or less maybe like a Motion City Soundtrack hoodie or something
Patrick: Those are like 50 dollars though
Me: Oh okay. *finds a shirt on hottopic.com* [I found a MCS shirt with the bear on it that says motion city soundtrack] Do you like this one?
Patrick: Hellz yea but you don't have to buy it for me I just want a paper hat
Patrick: whats the catch?
Me: What catch? There is no catch it's just a simple gift from me to you.
Patrick: There has to be a catch. The first guy said theres no catch but then he told me to bend down and squeel
Me: LMFAO!!!!!!! There is no catch though
Me: Patrick I'm not getting you a paper hat.
Patrick: YEAH YOU ARE
Me: NO.
Me: It's not a big deal I have money saved up from babysitting and from my relatives [I have money saved up for the trip that I'm taking to Argentina so I can buy stuff over there]. I have like 160 bucks saved up.
Patrick: 160?! DAMN!
Me: LOL. Yeah.
Patrick: But why would you wanna spend it on me? I don't deserve it.. [he made fun of this poserish girl who I despise strongly] I'm selfish.
Me: Patrick no you're not.
Me: I'm buying it for you
Patrick: Fine
Patrick: But seriously, thanks
Patrick: My dad is really cheap and my mom is low on money I never get anything new anymore
Me: Yeah it's no problem Patrick
His dad had to have a heart transplant so they had to pay for surgery [their insurance isnt that great] and they have to pay for his medications and on top of that, his dad is really cheap and won't spend money on anything, but he'll spend money for new things for his car.
Patrick's friend says she thinks that Patrick likes me because he says that we're really really good friends and he always brings up our conversations and actually remembers them.
I think that he might like me.
What do you guys think?
(link)
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Well, if he enjoys spending so much time with you (and doesn't have a girlfriend!) there must be something there... :) It's really nice of you that you'll be giving him that hoodie for Christmas. I hope it works out for the two of you!
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Ok i like this guy i work with and we were flirting and w.e last monday i havent worked in a while and i hear that hes going out with this girl i really hate and it was a total shock to me cause i never would have thought thwy would get together. Anyway they were both at work tonight and she saw me coming so she started giving him a neck massage and he pushed her away (he didnt see me) does this mean he doesnt like her and what do you see from all this..oh and he hardly emails me but now he is, hes emailing me little things like oh my dad took away my computer thats whay i havent been on in a while, but ill ttyl. I dunno what to get from it, but what should i do... ive worked with him for over a year and this flirting has always been there and i like him a lot and i hate her lol. thanks (link)
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If he's really going out with this girl, it may have been only for a few dates and he probably hasn't made up his mind yet. He obviously likes you too. So if you really like him so much, you should act before it's too late! You don't have to ask him on a date, just suggest you go for a cup of coffee sometimes after work. During spontaneous friendly talk you should slip in the question of his availability. That will have double function - informative, because you'll finally know what you can hope for, and if he's interested in you he'll understand it means that you're interested in him too. Good luck!
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My ex & I speak once in awhile. I'll be great for a few weeks, getting over him and not contacting him, but then he'll call me out of nowhere. We'll catch up, laugh about our memories together, and he slips in a few i miss yous. Then, he won't call for another few weeks. He hurt me badly but hearing his voice feels amazing. What am I supposed to do? The minute I feel like I'm moving on, it's like subconciously he knows and brings me right back to where I started. Do I tell him how I feel or will that sound pathetic? I feel like saying I want it all or nothing at all, but I don't want to lose him completely. (link)
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I wonder if he feels the same way about you and if that's the reason why he still calls you. I bet you're wondering that too! In this situation I recommend complete honesty. You have to tell him how you feel and insist that he tells you about his feelings too. Sounding pathetic should be your last concern. There is more at stake here, and the risk you'll be taking is showing your vulnerability. Do you trust him enough to do that? Inbox me if you want to talk more about this.
From your description of the relationship you have at the moment, it sounds like you are still close enough to tell each other how you feel. Talk like friends. Ask him for help! Tell him it's hard for you to move on and that this arrangement hurts you. Don't hesitate to tell him that you don't want to break contact with him either. If he cares about you, and I'm sure he does, he will try to help you find a solution. It may be getting back together. But if he isn't ready for that, let him leave you more space to sort out your life, but don't make any dramatic decisions, such as "we'll never talk to each other again!" Maybe if you agree that you should call him when you're ready to see him again. (And that will be easiest for you when you find a new boyfriend, or at least someone who could become your new boyfriend!)
I hope this works out for you.
P.S. I think it's better to have this conversation in person than over the phone.
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I have never done anything like this before, so here I go. I like this guy, and I asked my friend to ask him out for me. He said okay. Then 2 days after I told my friends, they tell me that he never said anything. Then 1 week later, his sister (younger than me by 1 grade, and she is also my bff) tells me he plans on saying yes. Then a week later, my friends who is in the same grade as him (1 grade older than me) tells me that he's planning on saying no. And then his sister tells me that he likes some girl named Abby Blackfeller (Name changed by a lot!!!), and that he doesn't like me. Then he wrote me a note saying "I'm sorry If I've hurt you. I like you, but I don't know if you want to go out with me!" After recieving this note, I am the most confused person ever. This is coming 2 weeks after he wrote the note. I doubt any of you have been in the same situation as me, but answer this as best as you can. (link)
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"I don't know if you want to go out with me" sounds to me like he's asking you out. He is also aware that you might have been hurt because of him changing his mind so often. If you can't confront him face to face, use the same strategy, i.e. write him a note where you could ask him exactly what you want to know: "Are you asking me out?" Or you could try to sound playful and not so deadly serious about the whole thing and rephrase his question "I like you too, but I don't know if you're asking me out!" It is possible to keep your dignity and self-confidence while admitting that you like someone, so don't be afraid to be honest with him.
Good luck!
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Okay, so I have a guy friend who I am really close with. We're always cracking inside jokes and making fun of each other. I've always thought of him as my best guy friend, but nothing more. In my PE class, everyone says we like each other. I always shake my head and say 'no way' but I've just noticed he has never made any objection. I'm always telling my friends in my PE class I don't like him (which I don't!) and they always say : Oh really, I thought you did!
A bunch of people in my PE class are always saying how we like each other and when I say "Ewww! No!" they say, "Shutup and stop acting like a stupid 3rd grader." And I've got so fed up with it I want to slap them in the face.
Today At lunch I was by the band room with my friend when one of my closer friend from PE comes up to me and tells my that my guyfriend likes me and wants to get with me, but is afraid I don't like him! I totally freaked out and got nervous, and when I went back to my friends and told them they were all like, "You never knew that! Oh my gosh, it's so obvious!"
And appearently everyone in my PE class knew that he liked me (for sure) and none of them told me. So I was the only one in the whole class (and there's 38 kids in the class!) who didn't know. And the guy I like is in the class so I'm worried he'll think that I like my guyfriend! I don't know WHAT to do, and I need advice! (link)
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If you're really close with your friend, you should be able to talk with him about your feelings. Try to feel comfortable when you address this subject because that will help him relax too (if he couldn't talk to you directly about this, it means that he is embarrassed and could be easily hurt). Explain to him that there is nothing wrong with him, that he is a great guy and that's why you like having him as a friend (it's crucial to do this if you don't want to hurt his feelings!), but that you love him as a brother and it would be weird for you to be his girlfriend. Underline that you would hate losing his friendship and ask him if you could stay friends. If he says yes, which he probably will, talk to him about the ways to stop rumours about the two of you. If you feel close enough to share this secret about your crush with him, explain that you're afraid that the boy you like won't approach you if he thinks you already have a boyfriend. If not, just tell him that you feel uncomfortable when others tease you because of him, and ask him if he could tell his friends that there is nothing but friendship between you and him.
I hope that helps!
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