Here's what you DON'T need to do: tell him you've changed. If you really have, that is. First of all, don't think that you need to just to make a rough relationship work. There are guys out there, probably within your range, that aren't so easy going (they really dig the uptight thing), and there are also guys who don't mind the argumantative type. These traits you say you have aren't easy to change. But they aren't anything to be ashamed of either. I'm extremely quick tempered and I scream a lot. I don't like it (I've been dumped because of it) , but I don't fool myself into thinking I can change it anymore. A guy that wants to date me has to just love that about me.
Maybe something about him made you react in negative ways. Ask yourself if you two honestly brought out the best in one another. He's obviously made you feel bad about your behavior. You could get with someone else and realize you're not causing any arguments and feel much more easy going and happy.
But if you really think you were super terrible and want to prove you're worthy of him (if he's all that great) again, like I said, don't tell him you've changed. Don't even talk to him for awhile, aside from cool, short (yet friendly), hellos and very small chit chat. Then SHOW him you've changed through how you act. I'm guessing you hang out with the same people, so maybe loosen up around them, let him see you laughing a lot and having more fun, maybe getting into a little fun trouble. Don't be sad or angry with him or around him. Don't cause drama. And if you see him chatting up another girl, don't let ANYONE see it getting to you. It could be nothing and you're not with him anymore so just wait until you get home to vent. Your friends LIVE for drama, someone to gossip about. I wouldn't talk to anyone about him, not even you're best friend (girls can be really catty, even the ones you trust, especially about boys) just be cool and laid back about it all. Let him approach you since he's the one that broke it off. Know that this time you might have to take it much slower with him and gradually build everything back up. If he's all you want, it'll be worth the wait. Good luck.

I rarely ever check. My problem, as I said before, is obsessive, intrusive, and guilty thoughts. So, I feel you. My worst time with it was when I was 13. I hadn't been diagnosed yet, I'd never even heard of OCD, and I had no idea what was wrong with me. Disgusting and mean thoughts kept running through my mind, lighting it on fire. Things like, "You want to kill your family," or "you want to skin your cat" , sometimes sexual things that made me physically ill. Don't get me wrong, obsessive thoughts aren't always like that, they can be about dirt, germs,jealousy, or anything at all. Anyway, I couldn't concentrate on anything else and the only way I knew how to make it stop was to go to sleep. Therefore, aside from school, I slept for about 2 weeks straight before it let up. I don't mean I heard voices, thats different. I realize I'm thinking, as I'm sure you do too.
Shortly after I'd been diagnosed, it hit me hard again. This time I concentrated on not letting the intrusive thoughts process. Soon, though, I'd conditioned my mind to not let ANY thought or feeling go through. I was just, blank. I could picture my mind as pure, white, nothingness. I felt nothing. I remember being amazed that when I looked at my friends or family, I felt no love. I didn't care what happened to them or myself. I had thoughts of suicide and it was quite a dangerous time for me. Ironically, I'd become obsessed with not obsessing. Point being: If its serious and interferring with your life, you really need the direction of a doctor or therapist to handle it by yourself correctly.

The way you describe what happens to you, I agree with your couple of people and think you may have OCD, or some type of anxiety problem. Only a doctor will know. If so, its something you'll have to deal with all your life. Its not something you can just become immune to. Its like living with diabetes. You have to learn to control it. Whether that be through the excersises a therapist would give you, or through medication, or both. Its not something that I feel is everyone's business. But the people that are closest to me know. I don't want them to get hurt or angry with me if I lose control for a moment and start behaving irrationally. That being said, I think, when you're comfortable, you should talk to your boyfriend about it. Because you and I both have run men off. Try looking up some web sites on OCD, maybe show them to him and your parents, so they have a better understanding of what might be going on with you.

If you're not quite ready yet, or after looking over the web sites, or talking to your doctor, you don't think you have OCD after all, here are some things I do when my mind starts spinning:

*I'm very pro-journal. I think everyone should keep some type of one. To get everything that you're feeling out on paper is cleansing and therapeutic in itself.
*Try some anxiety support group chat rooms.
*This last one I thought would never work because it seemed so simple. I had no idea how hard it actually is...
When you feel the thoughts or that bad "feeling", automatically immerse yourself in something. Just get busy. Walk your dog, go shopping, clean out your closet, throw in a DVD that makes you laugh, anything to clear your head. You get the hang of it.

And here is something I do when I feel less than amazing in the sack:

*Buy a Cosmopolitan and try their "Sex Goddess Sex Position of the Month" (whatever its called)

Look, you may just be an extremely jealous and insecure person. Maybe thats a part of who you are. I tend to play mind games. Its ugly, but its a part of me. Therapy can help you, no matter how big or small you think your problems are. Some people go just to have someone to talk to.

I hope I've helped you figure some of this out, don't wait to get help if you need it.

Peace,

Shade

First of all, I want you to please not ever say "a lot of people think we should go out" ever again. You're probably in the age range of 13-17, so I know what other people think seems important to you now but I'm telling you DON'T let other people get involved with you and a guy. Not your friends, your best friend, his best friend, no one. Especially if there's real potential there. I'm not saying keep it top secret, I just mean its no one's business, and believe me the second they know something's going on, they'll try to make it their business. They might even change their minds and say that you shouldn't go out with him. What then? Would you not? Maybe this is a little heavy for this situation, but I just think the sooner you understand this concept, the MUCH better.
With all that said, lets get to your actual question. What about his height makes you think it would be weird? Do you feel like if you go out, because you're taller, this means you should drive, pay for dinner and walk him to the door? You don't have to be the girl in "Sixteen Candles" that gets with Long Duc Dong. Going out with him will not be any different than going out with any taller guy. So don't sweat this. I think, from what you've said, that he likes you. Once you get to know him more and if he's wonderful, you won't worry about how tall he is.
I had the longest on-again, off-again relationship with a guy who is shorter than me. I thought about his height when he took me to prom and I wore high shoes; other than then, it never crossed my mind.
Think about Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, or every tall model who got with a short, old and/or ugly rock star...
If it still bugs you, hey, its not wrong that it turns you off. You can't help it. I don't like men with hairy backs. Sorry, can't get past it. I don't care how perfect for me he is.

Shade

I don't think you should feel guilty. You're both teenagers and your hormones are raging and all that, its normal. Hey, maybe you make him feel like a goody-goody. However, your making it seem like its easy for him to restrain. I'm not a particularly religous person now, but I tried to be once, and the pressure from the church, my family and religous friends was extremely hard to handle. The reason it bothers him so much when you start talking dirty may be because it turns him on and that scares him because he is trying to be "moral". You are probably making it very difficult for him. If you really want to make it work, try to cool it with the kinkiness. If he's as religous as you say he is, if it comes down to it, he'll choose his faith over you. He might already know that you're not as moral as you think he'd like you to be, so don't pretend. You are human. But being immoral and trying to get someone else in on it are two very different things. When you start crossing that line with him, not only is it insensitive, it can become offensive. I think you are 100% right about having an open, honest relationship, there is no other kind to have. You should definetely be able to talk to him about sex. Ask him to tell you if just talking about it is too much for him. If so, he may have a problem as well. And I stress, don't feel guilty about not being a better person. I'm sure you're a great person and thats why he likes you so much. Maybe he can help you with some of your issues. Maybe you can help him open up, stop being so uptight, and not be so afraid of everyday things like sex. You're not likely to change his mind about abstinence, but you'll at least be able to talk to each other about it ( he'll feel much more comfortable talking to you if he knows you're not going to start teasing him) when you're having a hard time keeping your hands off each other.

Shade

If you really like Charlie, don't involve any one else. This is not between you, Susan, Freddy and Charlie, its between you and Charlie.
I'm guessing you're older than 8th grade, but I think this true story of my life applies to your situation no matter how old you are.

Once, I told my friend "Alexa" that I really liked our friend "Vincent". Everyone had seen us in the halls flirting and laughing with each other. We were the talk of the 8th grade. One day before lunch, Alexa tells me, "Guess what? You're going out with Vincent!" (going out, in eight grade only meant we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend, there was no actual "going out", you know) She'd taken it upon herself to ask him out for me. I'd involved her. Anyway, I'm in shock, because I'd liked him for FOREVER. At that point I didn't care that she hadn't asked me about it first. By the time I got to the cafeteria, everyone knew and everyone was talking to me and looking at us. Vincent was THE catch. Then, before I even get to talk to him, Alexa came up to me again and said: "I'm sorry, he changed his mind." It all happened so fast, I didn't really get upset about it until later that day, in the halls, when he completely ignored me. I was devastated.
On top of that, I found out Alexa had been harboring feelings for him the whole time and THEY started talking the next week.

Try to talk to Charlie yourself. My guess is, he knows you like him now, because Susan told Freddy and Freddy,in turn, told his buddy Charlie. While your friends mean well, I'm sure Susan is no Alexa, this is about you, Charlie and the possibility of having more than a friendship with him. If you want him to know something, tell him yourself.

Beware of catty girls who want to "help you" get a certain guy, only to sabotage you by saying mean or embarassing things to him behind your back, ala the movie "Mean Girls".

Good luck with Chuck.

Shade

How can you stop being nervous? Good question. My suggestion (because I think you really want him to kiss you in those places otherwise you wouldn't be asking for advice) is to just take it extremely slow. Guys get excited quickly, as I'm sure you already know, so tell him to just slow down. If you decide you're really not ready for him to do that, stop him. He might get aggrivated (or start flat out begging), but don't let him intimidate you. I'm sure he's a good guy and he'll understand. If he pressures you all the time though, you should start to consider finding a new boyfriend who will treat you with respect.

Shade

I went through this exact same thing when I first started dating. I'd go ahead and order something at the restaraunt my date had taken me to, but I'd make sure it was something that could be eaten without embarassment. Like a salad. Or a baked potato. I was terrified of huge burgers that fell apart as soon as you lifted them off the plate, melted cheese that would stretch, Snicker bars. Sometimes I wouldn't eat at all, I'd just talk the entire time, then say something like, "Oooh, look, you're already finished and I've barely even started. I guess we'd better go though, if we want to make the movie." It didn't take very long for me to realize that I was disappointing them when I wouldn't order what I really wanted. They wanted me to be comfortable with them and have a good time and honestly, they don't care if food ends up all over you. I mean, don't be a pig, but just eat like you normally would. I started getting my dates to take me to my favorite restaraunt at that time ( try that), a local roadhouse. I'd order a rack of ribs and fries and have fun. There was a big difference.

I know you're looking for a subtle way to approach this guy, but honestly, the best way for you to avoid repetitive humiliation is to just go up to him and start talking. He won't be expecting it, and it will immediately give you the upper hand. Meaning, he'll feel less confident because you appraoched him first, and will more likely make an idiot out of himself before you do. Warning: Be careful with this, don't come on too strong. Keep it short, casual and fun. Through friendly conversation, you might find out that he's a complete ahole, and will be glad you didn't allow yourself to waste anymore time being nervous around him.

Hi, I'm Shade. I'm an artist, living in sin in a small town, hopping from job to job, and recieving no support from my family. I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder when I was 18. I've suffered through many, many, many bouts of depression, panic attacks and just plain fun ole' anxiety. Since I left my Mom's house years ago, I've lived a lot of places and met a lot of strange, horrible, and beautiful individuals. I've learned a lot about people in general and I'd have to say I'm a good judge of character.
As mentioned earlier, I'm "the artist currently known as starving". I do some oil and watercolor, but mostly acrylic painting, also some clay and metal sculpture. I appreciate all kinds of art and love to talk about it. I like to read, mostly twisted, weird fiction or memoirs about drugs and the fellow insane. I love all types of music, mostly rock, and doing anything outdoors, all my animals, horror movies, and mexican food...I drive an old, crappy, loud car that embarasses me and I just left my job at the art gallery, so as of right now, I am unemployed, livin' off my man.

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