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'Never argue unless you're right, and never argue with me because you won't be right!'
Hi and thanx for visiting my column,
Problem?
Honest, no nonsense advice awaits
Talk to me,
Mitch Moore, LONDON

advice

so i love hooking up and making out with my boyfriend, and the beginning part of the kiss is always great. but then when we get more into it, he stops moving his lips, sticks his tongue into my mouth and swirls it around like a windmill. it is really not pleasant for me...is there anyway to let him know i don't like that without straight-up telling/asking him?? i need help....
:(

Unfortunately I don't think so! ... you've got to either put up with it (ugh) or just tell him straight (yeah, he may well be upset or offended) or of course you could get rid! MM

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17/f
I have known this boy for years and we have always liked eachother. finally after years of on and off seeing eachother there was always a connection. finally we are together. we are in love and talk to eachtoher all the time and text 24/7. the down side is we only get to see eachother twice a week. he is very insecure and emotionally weak. he trusts me but every once in a while he says he has his doubts and can't trust other people. it takes him forever to get over things which bugs me because i never worry about anything and i get over things quicker than they begin. is there anyway i can fix this?

thanks soo much :)

Your ability to get over thing and move on is a good thing. Worrying is such a waste of time isn't it? Not everyone shares our outlook on life though. I don't think there is any way you can fix this, only your boyfriend can deal with his personal issues. You can help but he has to recognise he has a problem and want to change. If things go on as they are do you think it will begin to have a detrimental effect on your relationship?, I suspect it will. Maybe you should explain this to him. Defiantly talk about this, don't just plod on and pretend all is ok. MM

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so I have a boyfriend.
I love him and we've been going out for almost 5 months. he is my prince charming and i love everything about him.
anyways.
theres this other guy i've known for almost 5 years. I used to have a crush on him but then i found my prince charming. I always suspected that he had a crush on me but i wasnt sure. I've always wanted to ask him about it but i never wanted it to ruin our friendship.
I wrote him a note the other day not to like start a relationship but to just find out if he ever did.
he read it after my friend gave it to him but he hasnt talked to me since.
I'm scared it has ruined our frinedship but I'm kinda to scared to talk to him about it.
Any advice, i really need it.

HI,
If you're so happy with your boyfriend and had such a good friendship with the other guy that you didn't want to jeopardise I wonder why you couldn't help 'rock the boat?' I suppose it's a case of curiosity killed the cat! Talk to your friend about this as soon as possible - the longer it's left the worse and more awkward it will get. Explain how important he is to you and how much you value your friendship and if it's so important to you to know if he had a crush on you, ask him. In future maybe bear in mind that talking honestly face to face is better than having a friend pass notes about! MM

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me and my bofyriend are on a break..
anyways idk i have never broken up really or stuff like that im not good with it or know the best way to act what to do but this is a long relationship and my first almost 2 years and were 18..

idk any tips?
im hoping this will make him realize more of me and how much he needs me
cause he started to take me for granted and i dont like that
so any ideas?
any personal experience
i will love you if you help me out, share stories hgive advice anything thank you!

If you're on a break the relationship hasn't been working - what makes you think it will next time? A relationship is either good, and you want to be with the person or its bad, and you need to get out - all this 'we're on a break' stuff is a load of crap!! Sorry to be harsh but I learned that the long and hard way. If you're not happy with the way this person has been with you and the way he has taken you for granted the solution is not hoping he sees the error of his ways and miraculously changes - you need to say I choose something different, something better for myself. Don't be one of these people who cling desperately to a nightmare relationship thats up and down and on and off constantly - lots of people do that - it doesn't make one of them happy! MM

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I am a girl and I have been talking to this 19 year old who is not like other guys that I have had a relationship with before...(He's not one of those guys that wants to get in my pants) - he's actually the nerdy/music lover/guitar player type that goes to college and trust me, he's not going to screw me over. Moving on, I am only 16. :( I know it's illegal to date him and all, but he really is the cutest along with being funny and an overall fantastic personality over any guy friend I have. I also feel kind of foolish for liking someone 3 years older than me. We haven't hung out, only talked in person a whole lot. Though, we have talked about hanging out.. Anyways, I know my parents would absolutely go ape shit if they found out how old he is.. If he picks me up and comes to the door, am I suppose to tell my parents that he's 19 ? Or should I lie about it ? I have no idea what to do.

Hi
Well im from the uk and that is not illegal hear, I'm always shocked to hear how uptight 'the land of the free' really is (no offence) - look this guy sounds really great and I think you would be very upset to leave him behind, so don't! One of my friends is dating a 16 year old and she is 24! I don't think the age gap is at all outrageous! What your parents don't know won't hurt them and if you don't tell them you won't need to argue with them about it. Be careful though - as in don't get caught! lol - Good luck MM
PS - Having looked at other columnists answers I see it may well not actually be illegal in the states so I apologise (on this issue at least) for accusing the US 'powers that be' of being uptight! MM


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me and my x have been on and off for 2 years. we were friends with benefits at points and now i made it clear i just want to be friends and nothing more. i feel like i am never his top priority as a friend though. he always ditches me for other people and blows me off and i pretty much feel like he uses me or tries to. he also gets angry a lot. i don't know what to do it makes me so upset b ut i know hes not a great person

You know he is not a great person, he uses you, your never his priority, he blows you off, he ditches you, your relationship was on and off, up and down ... don't just end the relationship, end the friendship. May be hard but has far as I can tell there are no positives about knowing this person.. get rid, move on! MM

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im gay and have a crush on my best friend melissa brother robert and he is straight but wishes that i was a girl because we have all the same exact qualities that we look for in eachother. Please Help


P.S. ive never been in love before so I really want this .

Hi,
Well Ill just say i too am a gay guy - and there will always be straight people you fancy! Unfortunately theres nothing you can do! He is not gay, your not a girl and thats that! He soundls like a good guy and very accepting though so hold on to him as a friend! And go out and find a guy you like who is a gay! MM

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i have a bf
i went on vaca, and i like this guy nw
he lives like many miles away but we talk all the time
and i dont think i like my bf anymore
but weve been together a long time liek 7 mths
and now with this new guy i noticed i could do better
and the new guy lieks me back
and i wold be willing to do long distance w. him
but idk waht i should do , is it worth breaking up?
should i keep living a double life utill summer when ik i can easily b/u w. him


help pls any advice possible

16/f

Hi, well being with someone a long time isn't a good reason to stay with them - you should stay with them because you want to be with them and to be fair you don't sound that mad about this guy. Should you keep living a double life - well how is it making you feel, do you feel guilty, do you feel stressed, is it difficult? If the answer to those questions is yes then my advice is sort this thing now. If the answer is no then maybe you feel you should hang on and keep your options open. Others may disagree with me saying that but I'm not going to judge you or give you a lecture on the rights and wrongs of how you conduct your love life! I suspect what you really want to do is ditch the boyfriend and go for it with the other guy? If that's the case go for it! But do think about your boyfriends feelings and try to be fair to him. MM

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ok.... so im 19f in college and ive just recently found out that this guy in my roomies program likes me.
Im not sure how i feel about him, ive never given him and i much thought. Hes not realy attractive, but hes always been nice to me. He seems quite forward, and ive heard alot of him sleeping around. I dont just want to be another count for him.
Im not sure if i should get to know him more than i do to see how i feel...or... take it as the pig just trying to get some more.
I already know hes had a thing for both my roomates... he seems to "like" alot of girls. Yet he says hes just trying to find a relationship. I dont know what to believe and i dont want to get hurt.
what do i do?

Hi,

You know theirs nothing wrong with casual sex and having fun messing around if you're comfortable and happy with that - it sounds as if your not. So my advice is (unless you come to know him better and find he is not just after one thing) to stay clear. Plenty other boys out there and your right you don't want to get hurt. MM

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please help me...
ok i have been on and off with this guy austin for almost six years..i love him i do..but he doesnt treat me like i know i should be treated..sometimes he even just makes me feel shitty about myself sometimes though..he makes me feel reall good...we have been through more good times and bad times..than anyone i know...also..his family is my family..they adore me..and i feel the same about them...it that makes it harder....and everytime we break up..it never fails..i go back to him.. because i cant stand the sight of him and someone else...
but theres this justin guy that has just recently come into my life..and we have become extremely close over the last 5 or 6 months..give or take a few...but he makes me feel so good...hes so sweet..hes so good to me.he treats me like way too good i feel like..he makes me feel reall good about myself...and makes me happy...but yet so does austin..sometimes...but anyway...justin has me on this pedestle..and i dont feel like i belong there..or deserve to be there...he looks at me like no one has..ever looked at me...but i cant shake this thing that i have for austin..and i hate seeing him with anyone else...im just so confused..i dont want to hurt anyone..but i also dont want to hurt myself anymore...i really really love them both..and cant picture myself without either one...
please write me back asap.

Well I could give you an extremely longwinded, blabbering answer but I'll keep it dead simple - ditch Austin and go be happy with Justin! Why is it do you suppose that you feel you don't deserve to be treated properly, with respect, like a lady by Justin - yes because of Austin's handy work over the past 6 years!

The fact is people like Austin rarely change. Staying in a relationship with such people is like a never ending headache. Get some self respect, you know you deserve better!

Do these two guys know about each other? Because this is not fair on them either is it? Some may say what your doing at the moment is selfish! You're going to have to get the back bone to finish it with one of them. And if you can't get over this jealousy you have when it comes to Austin being with other people I suppose you'll just have to stay with him, be unhappy and be treated badly - oh yes and break Justin's heart! Don't be stupid ... Be happy! MM

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I am 17 years old and I've never had any type of serious relationship. I met this amazing guy few days ago and we hung out twice. Last night he came and picked me up where we went to his house, watched a movie, cuddled, kissed...etc
It was great! I really think i am starting to like this guy. But now what? should i call him? wait for him to call me? ahh im nervous.

You're nervous, but in a good way, right?1 Don't worry about it, just go with it and have fun! And if you wana call him just do it! MM

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