Well hello! I guess the first thing you should know about me is that im never going to judge you. Ive been through alot of hard stuff and there is nothing you can say that is going to surprise me. I want to be your friend, i want to be here for you and if you need additional help you can always talk to me on facebook.I have alot of expericence when it comes to giving advice. Im actually majoring in physcology. I love helping people and finding their best intentions. Ill give you the honest truth if you ask for my advice and i'll tell you straigh up what needs to be done. Most people lie because the truth hurts, but i believe ultimately that the truth will set you free. I know way to much about love because ive had my fair share of relationships and i know what its like to have someone break your heart but yet you still manage to love them with the pieces you have left. Im here to help you let go and move foward. And with everyone i help i will leave you with a quote to memorize and help you with your situation. I hope i help you :)
Gender: Female
Member Since: August 1, 2011
Answers: 12
Last Update: August 20, 2011
Visitors: 2238
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i just wanted to tell you what a wonderful site you have and just reading your advices, i am learning a lot from you and i am sure your readers are more that happy to know that someone is giving them unbiased and true advice. good work!!
as ususal i am confused and i dont know why i am afraid of committment and i have trust issues (like i know men cheat and a relationship is too stressful) what can i do? i like this guy, we have been intimate but nothing serrious but i am enjoying it and when things do not go as i have planned, if i am the least bit irritated, i freak out and i know he doesnt deserve it but i am so stressed and dont know what to do. maybe im not ready for a relationship but how will i be ready? am 33. thanks!!! (link)
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Thanks so much :) Yes i understand. Its ok to be distant from putting yourself into a relationship. Because once you do get in one your allowing them the chance to toll with your emotions. But in life your going to have to take risks and step away from the safety on the sidewalk as i like to say. Sometimes you have to cross the highway. Your never going to know if your ready untill you put yourself in one. If you like him and want to keep him around i would consider trying to make it something more official. I mean you dont have to rush into it, have fun and be yourself. But if you dont want him out of your life you should consider how important he is to you? I mean if you didnt really like the guy you wouldnt get aggeravted when you cant spend time with him. Be positive and dont over analayze things. "Life is what happens when your busy making other plans." I love this quote because it hits the cold hard truth. Sometimes you got to go out there and make things happen you want to happen otherwise life is just going to pass you by and you might just miss out on something great! I hope i helped! :)
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I just found out my boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me in the begining I confronted him n he told me it was one time a few months ago he calls me n lies n says he has to go to.his moms n wont be home cause something happen but I just got off the phone with his mom we had a big fight over the phone n he didn't come home the next day he smelled like lavender down there n I found dirty text messages in his phone I love him so much n my son. calls him daddy I don't know what I should do please any advice will help (link)
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You've first got to accept the fact that right now hes not looking to change. He still talks to this girl, who in mind has no class to even think to be talking to a man who has a girlfriend and has a child that is the situation as well. Im sorry that he did this to you. You need to know you dont deserve this. Your a beautiful woman im sure and you deserve the best. If he doesnt want to be with you he shouldnt drag it out and turn you into some kind investigator to find the truth. The true definition of love comes straight from the bible. You should really read this and see if this even amounts to the love you guys have. 1 corinthians:4 Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part; 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.
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i have been with this same guy for over three years now,and we are good together.we have always had exciting sex life,and he says he loves me much,but the other nite,he told me he had sex wtother girl,4o5times,we started working on us,then he admited he was still seeing her.we r talking again,nd he swears no more lies,thathe is only wt me,but im hurt nd he dont understand y its so hard 4 me 2 believe in him again. can i ever get past this,o just walk away be 4 he hurts me again?? (link)
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Lets state the obvious here. You love him. He hurt you. Change is hard. Your going to fight your hardest to hold on to him because you love him and he means so much to you. And your going to fight to let go of him because losing him isnt what you wanted...but its what you need. You cant be with him, you have to let go of whats comfortable, of the known. Some great advice is to leave before your left. He cheated on you not once not twice but 4 or 5 times. And GET THIS, he hid it from you all this time and just now is telling you? Whats to say you take him back and he hides it for another 3 years...your relationship will just be one BIG lie. and its going to be 3 times harder to let go of him. Do this for you, walk away. Be strong, surround yourself with people who are going to bright your day and fully love and care about you. Trust is everything....trust me i know! Its only going to be worthwhile if the two people are willing to work on at it nonstop because they love each other and want each other. But honey, look what he has done to you. You can forgive him and then forget him.
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Today, I had this guy that I like comeover, and I guess I have been having second thoughts already. He fingered me, and ate me out and it's been 5 hours plus, and I am still sore and swollen, and it's never been like that before. Now, I am just sitting here, and I want to cry, I am in a pissy mood, and went off on him. I don't know what to do. Did I make a mistake doing this with him? (link)
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Im sorry sweetie. Well is this your first time? I have never done anything more than kissing, because of my promise to remain pure. But im sure everything is fine. Your just stressing, having second thoughts, so your mind is going off in some sort of train of aniexty. I have aniexty sometimes, i use to alot and this is what it sounds like. You shouldnt have done that with him honey, but theres no changing that. Keep me updated if it continues.
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Hi I am a female, 17.
My boyfriend is 19.
We both work I work days and his schedule is all over the place. He works usually 7 to 1 or 7 to 5 but somedays he'll work 7 to 7. I work 7 to five.
I don't have a phone it has been broken for nearly a month. I text him on my breaks from my friends phone since she works at my work too. He replies maybe half the time. I ask him usually when I will see him again. Well he usually says he's tired from work and sometimes he's already busy. Well whenever I can't get a hold of him and I know he is off work I just go to his house and surprise him. He never seems to mind and we usually end up falling asleep. Well whenever I want to do something big I ask him at least a week in advanced. I asked him to go camping with our friends and I and he said he had work so I didn't mind. He told me we'd plan another trip but when I asked him about it he said we weren't going to. And every year my friends and I go to California during Christmas break for 5 days and I invited him. My best friend is dating his best friend so I thought it would be fun for us four to go. I asked him and he said he couldn't get work off when it's several months away. Well I told him I am tired of us sitting around at his house and never doing anything and how I want to go out every now and then. He said he is socially uncomfortable. I told him not to keep making up excuses and how I just want us to do exciting things now and then. Of course he never replied so I told him to think about it and that I adored him. He always complains about me not having a phone to talk to him but when I do text him he never replies, and he never ever replies when I ask to hang out. I told him I wanted him to meet my family and he refuses, and I told him we're not going to have sex again until he at least meets my nieces and nephews since they are only here for the summer and I won't see them again until next summer. When I told him that he said he wasn't even going to kiss me, and now when I sleepover he won't kiss me or even touch me unless I get really upset and roll to the other end of the bed. I just don't get him lately. When we first got together he always wanted to do things and hang out and he seemed very interested. I see him maybe 2 times a week. We've been dating three months.
Is this because of his schedule or me being upset with him. How do I get him to become more interested in me. (link)
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Im going to be very blunt with you because it needs to be said and save you from the heartache. You guys have been dating almost 3 months...and you have already sex wtih him. Hes already gotten something with no work, he has nothing to work for or to look forward to because you already give him those physical pleasures. Its hard to keep a guy interested when you give in to the physical before the emotional. Dont say you cant do it because i have been dating my boyfriend almost 11 months on August 24th and we have not went past making out and hes a freshman in college. And im his first relationship tooken seriously because i dont give in. You got to take control of this relationship. Guys want what they cant have. You dont need to be waiting around for him to get off his lazy butt and put some effort in this relationship. If he doesnt give two cents about trying to spend quality time with you unless it involves you spending the night over. You need to re-evaluate your relationship. You need to move on, forget him.
Dont hold on, its the letting go that makes you stronger. Dont worry yourself with the could have beens, because if it would have been then it should have been :)
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19/f
my boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me 2 weeks ago. he broke up with me when i was drunk, we got back together the next day and then he broke up with me again 2 days later saying that everything was 'weird'. he broke up with me because i said stupid stuff when i was drunk like that i wanted to be single and other stuff that i didn't mean. anyways, we've been talking a little and he told me he misses me but he doesn't wanna get back together but he's giving me really mixed signals and i think he's still hurt. the last (and pretty much only other time) we broke up it was because he broke up with me when i was drunk and i kissed some random guy at a bar because i was so pissed. he never forgave me for that and he told me that after that he started taking all of the dumb stuff i said about wanting to be single seriously. he says if we ever got back together he would be worried i would cheat on him. he says his feelings for me will never be the same but i don't believe that. i think he's just hurt because he keeps sending me really mixed signals. my question is how i can gain his trust back. i already haven't drank since we broke up (i had been drinking maybe 3 nights a week this summer) and i haven't hooked up with anyone else. i just need to figure out a way to show him i ONLY wanna be with him. because that is truly 100% how i feel. thanks (link)
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He truly cares for you and loves you. He is just hurt right now and needs space to figure things out. Trust is everything in a relationship and once its messed up its hard to gain back. but its possibly. You just need to sit down, the two of you and talk. You need to confront and let him know honestly how you feel. You need to tell him that sometimes you have to lose the people you love the most, to realize just how important they are to you. And that you came to a big realization just how much you loved him and dont want to be with anyone. All you can do is apologize and hope he will accept it. He might not right off the bat but eventually, when he is ready, he will. You have to be patient with him and show him how much you care. By doing little things that remind of the good times you shared. For instance, when i cheated on my boyfriend of now 10 months he forgived me. But to gain back his trust i cut out the people who made our relationship crackle out of my life. I also reminded him of the good times we had together, whether it was going to the lake where we shared many afternoons at and nights laying in the back of his truck just talking. Or taking him to the place we first met for a surprise, or playing our songs in his truck. i made it very apparent i was here for him this time around fully and ready. I hope this helps :) best of wishes!
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Well, we were dating for about a month and broke up after like two day later . He was my everything, my bestfriend technecly . We had to break up because we didn't see eachother anymore . But latley I've been dreaming about him and I can't stop thinking about him . In my head its HIM HIM HIM , agh its not that I want to forget him because I don't I just want him to be a friend to me . A few weeks ago I manged to say to myself that I was going to distance myself but I just can't . Because without him I feel broken What should I do . ? (link)
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Its hard to be friends with someone you feelings for, bottom line. And why doesnt he want to talk to you? because hes a jerk lol. But let me just tell you this, guys are way different than girls they go into relationships with way different expectations then girls. They dont fall as hard as we, exspecially not in a month anyways. Movies are movies remember that. Love and life is way different then whats pretrayed on the screen. He probably has already moved on to someone different, the honest truth and thats why he is not talking to you. Dont waste sleep over him, hes not so why should you? Dont tell yourself you cant distant yourself because you can. You just got to subtract any pieces of him that are still in life and throw them away. Its not the holding on to one person that makes you strong, but rather the letting go. And sometimes you have to lose the people you love the most, so they realize or you can realize just how important that person is to you. Your going to have so many more loves to come. Trust me, I know. It may seem like your life is over today, but just know that when tomorrow comes your one step closer to getting over him and moving on with your life :]
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i am a 18 yr girl and i love a guy since 4yrs like hell.last month i found tht he is having an affair with another girl since 6months,he begged me alot to continue the relation and also promised me tht he will nt talk to tht girl again,on my insist he changed his number too bt today i caught him again while talking to tht girl.i cant trust him now though he said me tht he loves me and want to marry me .i cant live without him nor i can forgive him .i am frm india (link)
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First off im sorry to hear he did that to you.
And yes he may love you, but it doesnt seem like hes "in" love with you. Trust is everything in relationship. And once you loose it, its hard to gain it back. He cheated on you...and you found out he is still talking to that girl so obviously he does not want to lose her and he still cares about her also. You cant marry him bottom line. Not now at least...yes of course you THINK you cant live without him but you can. Why hold on to someone who is hurting you? Because they say theyre going to fix it? Well he said that and now look you found out he is talking to that girl again. Thats not someone you promise to be with forever. He lied to you. There is this quote i once heard and it goes like this, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Like ive said to many people change isnt easy...we fight to hold on and we fight to let go. Its hard to let go of someone you've known for 4 years. But the longer you stay, the harder its going to be leave. I dont know him, you do. But from what you've told me this is what ive came up with. I hope it helps. I believe your soul mate is out there. And its probably not him. Yes relationships are hard, your going to have struggles. But you know that you TRULLY love him and you didnt cheat on him...or mess around for that matter and he did. Sounds to me like hes not ready for commitment no matter what he says.
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So I liked this guy a few months back. And so did my best friend. But a few weeks later after I had told my friend I had a crush on him I find out that he likes her. I was hurt like any other girl would be but now I got my own boyfriend and deep down I still like the other guy who is still with my best friend. Any advice on how to get over him? Please and Thank You :) (link)
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Well for one change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go. Sometimes you have to be selfish, but jumping into another relationship was not the right step. For one you either dating him to make the guy you still like jealous or your using him to get over the guy you still like. Trust me ive done the same thing you did. You have to go into relationships with the right intentions or you are going to get hurt. The only way to move on from the guy you still like is to cut him out of your life. That means no longer being friends on facebook(even if you want to continue to profile him on there to see whats going on with him) you have to cut out all contact. That means no texting or talking to him. Because lets face it hes chasing after your bestfriend and your chasing after him but whos chasing after you? not him. Dont think about all the good times you had all the things you did because your only hurting yourself more and setting yourself up for more let downs. You've got to come to realization you cant keep gazing back at that closed door because something great is going to come along and your going to miss out because your too busy gazing back at the past. Say goodbye to Mr. yesterday and work on Mr.today ok girl? I hope things work out for you :) your soulmate is out there and he just wasnt it. Dont give up hope!
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So my parent's don't like the guy i'm seeing. I got in a huge fight with them and I want to move out , but that's a different story. I had a dream last night I broke down completley.
My dream was the guy im seeing not being able to see him anymore and in my sleep I missed him so much I don't want to lose him then all of a sudden theres this other guy or two and they aren't him and I was so angry I didn't want them at all I just really missed him.. then when I seen him I was so relieved. All of a sudden, there was a cellphone and it sounded like two people were having intercourse... and I went home because I was scared I was cheated on and then I stopped.
What is the meaning of all this?
Please help. (link)
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I am a teenager and i have been in your situation. My mom also did not want me seeing this one guy. But in my head i thought she doesnt know the guy i know, she doesnt see what i see. Hes a great person, he is and he loves me. but what i had forgotten is my mom loves me too. She wants the best intentions for me, just like your parents do. And your parents would never do anything to hurt you thats a promise. But this guy, its not a guarentee its a maybe. You've got to remember that. but i was stupid and decided i was going to chose the guy and i ended up in heart break. It could have been avoided but i didnt want to let go of him. And even after my heart was broken i managed to love him with the pieces i had left of my heart at the time. Maybe this dream is a sign. To show you just what your getting into. The decision is ulitmately yours but heres a couple quotes for you to think on.
“Sometimes, we are afraid of moving on because we prefer sticking to the things we know all about. We call this certainty. We tend to hold on to something, just because we’ve gotten used to it. Making changes has a certain risk and people are afraid of this risk. But, you should know that this risk is never greater than your potential success.”
"There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life
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