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my boy friend betrayed me. I am from India.
i am a 18 yr girl and i love a guy since 4yrs like hell.last month i found tht he is having an affair with another girl since 6months,he begged me alot to continue the relation and also promised me tht he will nt talk to tht girl again,on my insist he changed his number too bt today i caught him again while talking to tht girl.i cant trust him now though he said me tht he loves me and want to marry me .i cant live without him nor i can forgive him .i am frm india
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You got yourself a lying, cheating man there me lady. Dump him. Marriage has never stopped anyone from having an affair.
My policy about this issue is this: if you feel you need to cheat you need to end the relationship you're in because it is, in fact, over. So I suggest that you find someone with a little more integrity.
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I am so sorry to hear this . Well honestly I think he is a real dumb butt . Cause you seem like a very nice girl and no guy should ever treat anyone like this . I understand thier are so many guys like this but I think you should leave him , take a breather he is hurting you as if you were nothing , but everyone is worth something . If he keeps hurting you like this I suggest just leave the guy . He isn't worth your hurt . He may say "I love you" but honestly if he did he wouldn't do this to the girl he "Loves." I understand you love him but you are just hurting yourself for letting him hurt you . You will find true love again trust me, everyone finds true love no matter what, we will always find love .
Good Luck
- J a c k i e ♥
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I once had an emotional affair. It came very close to ending my marriage.
I can say honestly that I was in love with my wife while I was engaged in the affair, but I was also infatuated with this other woman. It was a very selfish time for me and I am deeply ashamed of my actions and the fact that at the time, I was able to so easily ignore the wrongfulness of them. My wife and I were able to get through it and move on, but ONLY because two things happened. One was that she was able to forgive me, and the other was that I was able to earn it.
When someone is caught having an affair, they will often promise anything in order to try and set things right again, but those promises can be so easily dismissed when they meet with temptation again. There are three things that will make those promises worth something.
One is that he must understand that you really will leave if he transgresses again; he gets no more chances and he has no right to expect blind trust from you.
Two is that he must have ZERO CONTACT with the woman with whom he had the affair. No phone, no e-mail, no nothing. He must promise to inform you if she tries to contact him. And you must be permitted to check on him and see that he's really doing this. He has no business getting defensive if you ask to check his e-mail or phone; that degree of openness is the price he must pay to win you back. If he will not do that, then you've already lost him.
Three is that he must eventually realize the full wrongfulness of his actions. This realization may not come right away; for me, it took about three months before it really hit me what I had done.
Because it will take him time to understand what he did, and because it will take time for him to earn back your trust, you must postpone your marriage for at least one year. Without trust, your marriage absolutely will not survive. When it comes to a lasting marriage, Trust is even more important than Love. I speak as someone who almost shattered the trust in his own marriage. A marriage can exist without Love; it won't be very enjoyable, but it can happen. A marriage is fatally wounded when the trust is lost, and bringing it back is very difficult indeed.
You must make him prove himself to you. If you pretend that you can just go ahead and believe his promises, marry him anyway, and hope that he's done having affairs, then you may as well be inviting him to do it again. You must DEMAND that he demonstrate trustworthiness, and until he does that to your satisfaction, you must not marry him.
There is one more thing you must do, even though it will be terribly hard. You must tell him that he is free to leave you if that's what he really wants to do. It must be entirely his choice to be with you, marry you, and spend his life with you. If you try to make him stay out of guilt or obligation, you will spend your whole life wondering if you are truly the woman he wants to be with.
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First off im sorry to hear he did that to you.
And yes he may love you, but it doesnt seem like hes "in" love with you. Trust is everything in relationship. And once you loose it, its hard to gain it back. He cheated on you...and you found out he is still talking to that girl so obviously he does not want to lose her and he still cares about her also. You cant marry him bottom line. Not now at least...yes of course you THINK you cant live without him but you can. Why hold on to someone who is hurting you? Because they say theyre going to fix it? Well he said that and now look you found out he is talking to that girl again. Thats not someone you promise to be with forever. He lied to you. There is this quote i once heard and it goes like this, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Like ive said to many people change isnt easy...we fight to hold on and we fight to let go. Its hard to let go of someone you've known for 4 years. But the longer you stay, the harder its going to be leave. I dont know him, you do. But from what you've told me this is what ive came up with. I hope it helps. I believe your soul mate is out there. And its probably not him. Yes relationships are hard, your going to have struggles. But you know that you TRULLY love him and you didnt cheat on him...or mess around for that matter and he did. Sounds to me like hes not ready for commitment no matter what he says.
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