I have survived wars, break-ups, high school and university.
I am here for you.
Website: Dear You
Gender: Female
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Occupation: Grad student
Age: 21
Member Since: January 5, 2011
Answers: 65
Last Update: July 3, 2011
Visitors: 6696
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ok so last i think we both flirted alot even though he had a girlfriend... what happen was i had on of those clipps for paper and i put on him and he decided to get me back so he put it in my hair and then i got him back and his girlfriend found it but she thought it was funny but then b4 the christmas break he hug me and but it my hair again... this little thing of ours has been going on since middle school.... im confused??? (link)
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Hey,
I think that's a little gesture in your friendship that he values for some reason and he uses it to remind you how much the friendship means to him. Some people are just *very* touchy - regardless of gender, sex, age, etc. etc. etc. and he could fall into that category. As long as you acknowledge that it's friendship and only friendship (with no benefits), I think it will stay good and smooth for a long time.
K
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We are having a middle school dance and I reaaaallly wanna dance with my crush.What to do?? :/ (link)
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Hey,
I think it would be really cute if you walk up to your crush, take a little bow, extend your arm out and say, "May I have this dance?" in a serious accent. I am sure no one would be able to resist that! Plus it will help you not to feel nervous when your crush giggles upon your request, grabs hold of your arm and dances with you. I hope I helped!
K
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im 18/f and hes 19/m :)
ok so long story short, i really like my bestfriend. I've never met anyone more like me in my life and we both thinks its the most amazing thing. Im so lucky to have found him and im really falling for him. Anyway, two weeks ago i was nervous and hopeless about a future together with him, thinking that he couldnt possibly have the same feelings for me as i did him. Anyway, i got an unexpected phone call from a mutual friend of ours telling me that i dont need to worry and to stop stressing. i asked her why and she told me not to say anything, but that my best friend likes me alot and thinks im insanely beautiful. Hes came out of a horrible break up after 5 years 6 months ago, and says he wants to be a single for a little bit longer. But he does like me alot and wants to be with me when hes not so terrified of relationships. he also told her that if i ended up dating anyone else that he would be extremely upset and know that it 'wasnt meant to be'. but to be honest i dont want anyone else but him, and im willing to wait till hes ready. Again i have to pretend i dont know any of this, as he told her that he wants to tell me personally, but she knew how upset i was going and had to.
so anyway that was a couple of weeks ago that i found out about that, and since then we havent been able to see each other due to his band being on tour. It wasnt till yesterday i started doubting his feelings for me again, as he didnt really text me or anything much, but when he did he would say some really sweet things. anyway yesterday he texted me (coming as a complete surprise cause he barely texts me ahhah) and told me "listen to invincible by tonight alive. then text me back, i will say no more"
so i listened to the song and immeadiatly began to cry.
the lyrics are as follows:
i love you in the light, i love you in the dark
and my mind has been made up
because you threw the spark, that set my heart on fire
now the stars are falling from the sky,
there on fire and falling
straight into your eyes, your eyes.
i am invincible, as long as i love you
i am invincible, theres nothing we cannot do.
missing you everyday- its not enough for me.
we make it so hard for ourselves so easily
and its funny the one same thing that makes me crazy
is the same thing that keeps me sane
my minds a million miles away
but nothing ever changes, no never change.
cause i am invincible, as long as i love you
i am in invincible, theres nothing we cannot do
your arms are my home,
and ive been homesick for oh so long
so bring me back home
back where i, back where i belong
cause i am invincible,
i am invincible
i am invincible, as long as i love you
i am invincible, theres nothing we cannot do
i am invincible
i am invincible as long as im in love
im in love with you
I then texted him back saying how i thought the song was amazing! and i was speechless. he then responded with "i thought you'd like it :) it came on in the car just then and im chillin in the back seat and thought of you :)"
do you think the song meant anything in regards to his feelings for me? is he trying to tell me something? etc etc
any advice appreciated :)
(link)
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Hey,
Uh ... YES the song meant everything in regards to his feelings for you! It's understandable that he got busy with the tour and is taking things slowly regarding relationships but my my my, he's basically saying that he belongs with you. Now don't be surprised when he comes serenading you with that song soon =).
K
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My current boyfriend asked me out about 2 months ago, but the furthest we went was a hug. I know it would probably be more than that if we didn't see each other only once a month. But we always see movies together and hug before we leavem and we always stare into each others eyes but it never went to the point where we almost kiss. Except the last time we were at the movies he asked me a question and I leaned in to hear what he said and i replyed ofcourse but our faces were so close together, and we almost did it we almost kissed untill i kind of leaned back. I don't know if he does want to kiss me or not because we're very close and everything but i don't think he kissed a girl before. PLEASE HELP!!!!!! I want to know if i should make a move next time. (link)
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Hey,
He could either be (a) nervous or (b) unsure. When it happens again, don't lean back, but encourage his moves. Take the chance to get close-ER to him - whisper something in his ear, playful nosey-nose rub, stare into his eyes after a hug. It will happen very soon. Best of luck!
K
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I'm kind of young. But today, my grandma and I went to Walgreens for a little shopping spree.
I was walking and I noticed this guy watching me, and every time I'd turn to meet his gaze, he'd grin and turn away. I thought it was cute how he was so shy. I'd catch him looking at me, and he kept telling me which magazines were the best to read. He worked at the photoshop place and refilled the milk in the fridge/freezer section when I commented to myself that there was no milk left. And yes, I do know it's his job to be a good worker to the customer, but I had this feeling. Usually I get all fuzzy and warm inside when I have the "crush" feeling.
When I went in line, there was a short line, with only one person. And just as the register was about to serve me, the guy at the photoshop counter announced on the intercom that his register was open. I smiled because I knew he'd felt accomplished by getting me closer to him. He told me how pretty I was and scanned my items. We talked about the beach for a good five minutes and he wished me a good night.
Now, sure, I usually have quick crushes that come and go, but this is a new thing. I feel like I should've given him my number or something....but I have no idea how old he is... ugh.
Advice? (link)
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Hey,
You know he works there, therefore go there again and upon seeing him, tell him how you'd like to "continue this discussion later..." Let it take off from there, and I am guessing that most likely, you two will know about each other's basic info on that first out-of-Walgreens meeting. Best of luck!
K
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many people think that i am a palygurl but i am not and they son't want to believe me....... (link)
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Hey,
The most important thing is that you know how you are, and who cares about what they're saying? If you want a boost, watch "Easy A". You're awesome, keep that in mind and smile. =)
K
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Me and my boyfriend have been goin out for two months now and are both seventeen years old and are in a long distance relationship. the other day i popped my cherry when i was thinkin about him and we were sexting. I told my god-sister what happened and she said well at least yall can have phone sex now. Me and him really want to have it but just dont know how to start off. we are madly in love with eachother and want to do it. i really need some advice on how to start it or even how to do it. I think it will help our relationship because of the fact we will so far away. We both really wanna have phone sex. Please Help (link)
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Hey,
Have you considered using Skype? Regardless of the technology you two end up using, be descriptive about your actions and feelings - use words that will turn him on, breathe, moan, tell him what you want to do to him and what you want him to do to you. Have fun with it =).
K
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Okay so my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me because he felt to much pressure so young and wasn't ready for a full blown commitment. We go to College together and are on the same cross country/track team in college. The break up was really hard we both had random flings with other people but then he would always call me back in to the picture and say "Your are the love of my life, but I just need more time". So about 8 months of being broken up we go back together and it was Amazing to be back with the person I love most. But now are relationship is very odd, and not quite the way it used to be. He is now completely hot and cold. Sometimes he doesn't act very "couply" to me in public and in front of the team he is cold to me. where as other days he is super flirty and nice to me in public. I am super insecure about the relationship because of our past and I could be overexerting but he sometimes just seems ashamed. When I asked him hat was up he said he loved me so much and that this time it forever and that I should Relax, I have no hing to worry about. Also, since we have gotten back together we don't have as much sex as we did be for (or when we were broken up). I always am the One start it whereas he used to get hard simply flirting with me. He always says "lets make our dinner date on Friday special No sex until then" he seems to have no urge in the in between days to break the rule. Next week is finals week so maybe he is Just stressed about school and the end of the track season. But I need advice on how to not to be so insecure and what I should do to peak his interest and get things back to normal.
(link)
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Hey,
Maybe it's taking time for your boyfriend to readjust. Maybe during that separation he realized things he never acknowledged before, things like sex not being as dominant in your relationship and taking a certain stance in a public or professional environment a.k.a. not acting "coupley". Think back in your relationship, the happiest times, the times when sex wasn't all over the place, and pick out those moments and relive them with him. He could just be extremely careful to make sure that he doesn't take a step that will offend you, or he could just be wanting to take it slowly, to avoid having the same feelings of stress regarding commitment. Things will never go back to the way they used to be, that's just life - but you can always make it way better than before. And on a final note - try seeking his advice and ask him this very question and see what he says. It's going to be okay.
K
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Ok so I dated this guy for 3 months last year. I'm 18 and he's 25. He broke up with me in December. He said he needed to work on himself. While we were together we had some issues with communication. I thought we could work them out so I was surprised and devastated at the break up, but I tried to move on. 3 weeks after that he called me and we talked for about 4 hours which resulted in us getting back together. So everything was going good. Then I stopped hearing from him. His phone was off and I had no way to get in touch with him. About 4 weeks later he called me and said he was stuck in Mexico, had no charger for his phone and he didn't have my number memorized so he couldn't call. I basically said it was fine and we were still together. Then another 3 weeks goes by without my hearing from him and he sends me a text asking how I am and if we're still together. I said yes and then 2 days later he texts me and says he just wants to be friends. Now I'm trying to move on but he keeps texting me telling me he misses me and I was the best thing in his life but its so confusing because if that's the truth then why break up. (link)
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Hey,
I'm not so sure about those long breaks he keeps taking, then coming back to you to "check" if you're together. He should know that you are or aren't - you both agreed on a "yes" and it will stay a "yes" till you both say "no". Maybe the reason why he keeps asking is because he's done/doing something that puts the relationship at risk. Maybe he's hiding something? It's not fair on his part to keep you on hold like that. He may need to work on himself, but you need to work on yourself too. He can't treat you like a back-up plan like this. Maybe this is for the best. If you *really* want to know what's going on, sit down and have a talk with him. A serious one. I hope this helps.
K
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I'm in a confusing situation, i'm 25 and basically i've been with my current boyfriend for 5 years and we have a mortgage together but things haven't been going great for me recently, my feelings have started to change and i dont see the same future that i used too. I always thought he would be the guy i wanted to marry and have children with but now thats not what i want. I'm too scared to walk away in case its just a rough patch and i would also lose everything that ive worked hard for like my beautiful house, also i'd lose the majority of our friends. To make it even more confusing is the fact that a guy that i've always had chemistry with is back on the scene, he makes me feel amazing and special and i get butterflies whenever i think of him but is it real or is it just cos things aren't good at home! I'm so confused about what to do... (link)
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Hey,
There's a reason why it has lasted for 5 years now. There's a reason why you're here, writing this, seeking advice - because you want to keep what you have, otherwise you would have broken it off already. Temporary surprises will pop up now and then, like that "back on the scene guy", but that is your chance to prove to yourself who you really want to be with. It's like when you're on a diet and a nice, creamy cheesecake starts having a staring contest with you =). I strongly think that this is just a rough patch - sometimes the passion becomes dormant for a while or sometimes there is a lack of communication. Think of the awesome, sweet, happy times you spent with your man and try to repeat all those memories and experiences once more. Focus on what makes you happy about the relationship. Surprise him. Do everything in your power to give him the butterflies you want to have yourself. Try making him feel how you want to feel. Who knows, maybe your lover is thinking the very same things. Take the first step, grab his hand, and give him a dance. It's going to be okay. I hope this helps. Feel better *hugs*.
K
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hi my name is alyssa im 16 female and when i was dating this guy i was 14 and he was 18. and of course we met on myspace kind of and on my myspave it says im 18 and im not. wel to make this short he thought i really was and he asked and well i didnt know him that good and i told him i was 17 about to be 18. well we were dating for a good 11 months and then something terrible happend. i used to go over to his house spend the night with him and i would go home the next day and my parents didnt know i would lie so not only did i lie to him but i lied to them as well. i began to love this guy i mean love and we would spend every weekend together talk on the phone all the time and text so he started to grow on me well we had sex and i felt guilty i mean like i knew i was doing something wrong. well we ept having sex and when my mom found out she told him i was 15 and i think he knew but he didnt want to get caught by the police well they sure did get invovled i ran away to his house and i promised him he wouldnt get into trouble but he did they handcuffed him and i fell instently to my knees i hurt so bad. and cried and pleaded for them not to take him. well he told me he never wanted to see me again and that he could do fine without me and he started crying cause i lied he was in jail for a month in a half and i called and checked up on him everyday. he got off with 6 months of probation and thats it. well he is off of probation and i want to be with him still idk about him though im in love with this guy help me please i just want him back and i want to let him know im terribaly sorry guys tell me what u think and girls you too (link)
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Hey,
It looks like your guy could use some time away from you, or even girls in general. He went through something so terrible and I doubt he's ready to face the source or maybe he's just scared to go through it again. At this point, no one can really tell how he feels about you, but how about you give him some time alone? If you insist on wanting him back right now, just take it slowly, avoid apologizing excessively but be sincere and honest with your explanation - let him know how much he means to you, and that you're willing to do everything to make him feel better. Nothing can be done to change what happened, but you can work on easing the pain for him, and if you truly love him, you will know how to do that. Best of luck, stay safe.
K
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how do u tell your boyfriend that you want to be with them? (link)
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Hey,
If he already is your boyfriend, then you already *are* with them. Did you mean to move in with them or...?
K
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I don't mean to sound conceited but I've been told I'm really attractive. When I go snowboarding guys always notice me because I'm good, I've done tours and I can do the terrain park and everything. Again, I promise I don't mean to sound cocky, but its the truh. I always catch guys staring at me and I'm always afraid to like look back I just give a quick glance and look away I guess I'm shy but how can I get them to approach me? I guess I just need a confidence booster lol. Thanks. (link)
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Hey,
You're awesome at what you do - so keep doing it, sit back, and let them approach you. Don't look away - you don't have to make eye contact but face their way. You looking away from them may make them think that you're too cool for them and that's not what you want! So just relax and be yourself. Good luck!
K
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Well I'm going to America in March and obviously need a Visa. I'm going to apply for a Tourist visa, but I don't know how much it costs. Does anyone know? I'm from Australia by the way so I don't know if the prices on the Australian government website are for visas COMING to australia or for GOING to another country :s And how long before leaving do I have to apply(how long does it take to recieve it?) My plane is booked for March 9..
I've never travelled overseas before so that explains my clueless mind XD (link)
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Hey,
This may help: http://travel.state.gov/visa/temp/types/types_1263.html#temp
The rules are different for each type of visa, I suggest you call the Consulate and ask your questions there. I applied to one last summer, for a student visa. All I know is that I booked an appointment online, paid the fee online, printed all the paperwork and took them with me to the Consulate in my country and it all started from there. Be ready for questions, even things like "What were you doing in Syria when you were 2?" I'm surprised there isn't much info on websites, but try giving the Consulate a call, ask what you need to do before you apply, etc. It's the safest way for you to find out to make sure you're not missing anything. And once you get the visa - start meditating. Going to the States will be a bumpy ride and I highly recommend having Washington as your main entry point and not JFK New York. Best of luck and have a safe trip! Let me know if you need anything else.
K
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20-f
I recently just started talking to this guy ...well about 2 months ago. He is very nice, respectful and genuine but one thing that I can't get over is every time I see him he has bad breath :( I hate getting close to him or even cuddling with him because of his breath it makes me want to gag, sometimes I hold my breath so I don't have to smell it...it's so sad. He wanted to make out with me and I was freaking out because he had bad breath. We started making out and I was chewing gum and he was like "can I have your gum?" so while we were making out he ended up getting my gum that was in my mouth and oh my gosh did it smell so much better then! I don't know what to do though! I can't tell him he has bad breath, and I feel like if I offer him gum everytime he will get the hint but what if he doesn't want the gum? I don't know what to do! And I know he chews smokeless tobacco. He hasn't done it around me but I'm pretty sure he does before he sees me. I don't know if this could make his breath smell bad.
Any ideas of what I could do? Thanks! (link)
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Hey,
I've always wondered about what I'd do if I were in that situation and I have an answer! I haven't had to do it myself though. Tell him you want to go to the dentist -- but you're too afraid to go on your own, and if he'd go with you and get checked up as well. The bad breath may be a result from not flossing well, not brushing well, and can be some sort of dental problem. The dentist will check him, will *hopefully* prescribe a mouthwash or this and that and voila! It makes me think though, maybe there is something wrong with his gums/teeth. Hmm. Best of luck!
K
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And before I start, I don't want any negative judgements for my decision.
19/female from Australia. Been dating my online boyfriend for 9 months, he's American. He's coming here in Feb 2011 for 5 weeks. Since the distance has had its toll on us already we both decided we don't want to be apart again. He says when he gets here we'll get married and I'll go back with him to the U.S, but me being someone who likes to go by most rules, I don't want to screw around with the system. I don't want to marry him and find out It was illegal for us to do so and then ruin my chance at being with him. I want to do this right way.
I've looked on the USCIS site at different visas, and I'm not sure which one I qualify for, the fiance one would be nice, but I don't know/think I could apply for that since this will be the first time meeting physically and only known each other for 9 months. We haven't decided yet where we want to live, but he said he can definitely take care of me in the U.S and to be honest, it would be great to get away from Australia for a while, and my family. I love this man. I know that, I don't need anyone telling me I'm too young, I'm old enough to decide who I want to be with and where I want to go in life and Dad knows I've always wanted to travel, but once he finds out my plan he will try to stop me since he's the type of guy who likes to have power, but I'm not letting him shield me from the world.
So what I need to know is how to exactly do this. Not so much easy way because there's no such thing but the EASIEST way is what I'm looking for. Also, does him being in the Marines for 5 years then the U.S Army for the past 3 years count for anything at all? Will it make a difference? And is there ANY possibility that we won't have to be apart again for more than like 1 month? at most 2...
I would greatly appreciate if someone could help me out without making harsh judgement... (link)
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Hey,
How about you meet him first, then apply to college in the U.S. in the area he lives, that way you can get a student visa and have permission to stay in the country till your studies are over. By that time, you would have gotten used to his physical presence, etc. etc. and the marriage thing is quite complicated - there will be a "test". Watch "Green Card", the movie. It may help answer some things. Best of luck, 19/f!
K
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im 18/f hes 19/m
ok so i sort of have this thing for a guy, he's the lead singer of a local band, in which two of their shows i have attended. both times however the lead singer was taken and i was to shy to approach him. We've been talking over the net and what not for almost a year now, even though we haven't met each other properly. He is so much like me it scares me. I used to talk to him heaps even when he had a girlfriend (not overstepping my boundaries of course) and one night, he told me everything that no one else even knew about him. Thats the moment i started really falling for him. anyway i tried to forget these feelings due to him already having a girlfriend. Conveniently enough for me, him and his girlfriend broke up two days after our big chat. I was there for him, even just as a friend, during his messy break up. I knew that if i was there for him, it would potentially work in my favour, maybe even give him an idea.
So that was a couple of months ago, since then he has become best friends with this other girl. i was getting extremely jealous until he assured me that she means a lot to him as a best friend. So i quickly forgot about it.
I tried my best to deny these feelings... but everything almost felt like a sign with him... i mean his gf and him conveniently breaking up when we get really close. I always told myself i wanted to find the boy version of myself. I believe he is it. Another random thing that i cant get over, is that when i was little i was absolutely obsessed with dinosaurs, mum and dad recorded a video of me when i was three running around the backyard pretending to be a raptor, with a plant down my pants as a tail. I told the guy this very embarrassing story, only for him to be in shock. turns out his parents have a video of him when he was three running around the backyard pretending to be a raptor with a plant down his pants. what are the odds?
Just little stuff like that, so much stuff in common that its to hard to question 'what if'... Anyways, i messaged him the other night this is what we said.
me- hey whens your next gig lovely? so i can finally meet you properly :)' him- "FINNAAALLYYYY =]"
me: 'i wish i had of stayed to meet you at your last two shows haha. i dont know why i didnt! im such a doosh :)" him: " =] ♥" me: 'oh btw, expect big tackle hugs :)" Him: haha okies =] from you...=]"
the last couple of nights i spent getting confused over the 'from you...=]' part haha. everyone that i asked that wasn't getting confused over it was telling me that it means he likes me, if he only wants tackle hugs from me etc etc. Anyways, i logged on to Face book to notice he updated his status saying 'thank you for everything, i'm feeling so much better. you know who you are ♥"
this post made me really nervous, because i know its not about me...it could be about his bestie but even then i still feel like he's more interested in her... i just don't know whether to give up or whether i continue to hope that perhaps he feels the same as me. any advice appreciated! (link)
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Hey,
I say go for it. You *feel* like he's interested in her, yet he hasn't *told* you that and how can you be so sure that his status isn't about you? =) Go with the flow, be yourself, give him those hugs you promised. Have fun and best of luck =).
Note: Love the raptor story
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okay, this is gonna be a long story, but please help me out.
i'm 16/f, and i have a boyfriend of 7 months. however, there's this boy. let's call him trevor. trevor is one of my close friends, and i used to like him, A LOT. for about two years, all i cared about was him. he does little things like rub my back and put his hand on my leg when we're together now, and it drives me insane. i cared so much about him for 2 whole years, but he never seemed to notice. now that i have a boyfriend, he gives me all the attention in the world. he texts me first, he tells me he loves me (in a friend kind of way), he gave me his sweatshirt to wear and keep. we have such a long history of this kind of stuff, it seems like it's all coming to the surface now. i never had any closure with him. i feel like in order to get over him completely, i have to kiss him. ya know, get it out of my system so i can focus completely on my boyfriend. has anyone ever been in this situation before? if so, how did it end up working out? ahh! (link)
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Hey,
I agree with what's been said so far - one kiss will not help you get over him, trust me. On the contrary, one kiss will lead to two, which will lead to three, which will -- you get my drift. You have to make a decision: Trevor or boyfriend, as you can't have both and you can't keep giving Trevor false hopes. Plus, how sure are you of Trevor still being the Trevor you're experiencing now when you leave your current boo to be with him? How would you feel if your current boyfriend left you for a friend of his? Step out of the frame and look at the situation from another view. There can be no such thing as "focusing" on a boyfriend - he's not a duty, not an exam, not a chore. However, you can focus on loyalty and love. Best of luck.
K
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I'm a 19 year old girl and I have this problem with feeling insecure in relationships, which I know has danger of affecting my relationship with my current boyfriend whose 24. We've been dating for a month and I feel like we click, I feel rather comfortable with him, and he's just a great guy, would be a wonderful friend if we end up not working out together in a relationship. I'm just really glad that he's in my life.
I have this problem with relationships though, I'm not very confident in them. I'm just afraid of getting hurt, and I always think the worse that the person that I'm with is going to hurt me. It's not really a self confidence issue, I think I'm very attractive and I know that others find me attractive. I love meeting new people but I' just afraid of getting hurt.
I've had two guys that I considered boyfriends at the time. One of them I never really got to see, I think he just used me because he wanted a hot girl that would send him naked pictures of her body when he was in AIT, and someone else to write letters to saying sweet things that never ended up being true, he emotionally abused me and constantly dicked me around. Then in my other relationship, I knew the guy for almost 10 years and he was like a big brother to me, I always thought that he was a great guy. I shared my first time with him, and we dated for 5 months I thought that we were in love and happy, so it surprised me when he dumped me in an IM and then he proceeded to dick me around and use me for his own self interests. Basically my whole romantic history has included me being dicked around by guys, who were supposedly really into me.
I suppose that in the past, my relationships have been “shortened” because I tend to take things really fast. I've had two sexual partners before in my life, and both of them I had sex with after two weeks of dating them, which really isn't a long time. I've noticed that I'm also perceived as being kind of clingy, which I guess is true and I think that I do that because I determine how much a guy is into me by how affectionate he is to me, which really isn't true.
I'm insecure in the relationship that I'm currently in and it sucks, because I know that it bothers my current boyfriend sometimes. I mean he has done nothing along the lines to tell me that he's not interested in me except for perhaps asking me to stop doing something and letting me know that it bothered him, in a way that really wasn't that rude. I really like what I have with him, and we had a conversation where he told me that he wants to take things slow, which has to do with the fact that we've both been hurt by past relationships.
I'm currently wondering what he means by taking things slow. He's a really great guy and he makes me smile, I enjoy kissing him. And I'm glad that he likes what we have together as well. Taking things slow sounds like a good idea, how do I take things slow and get over my insecurities? Because I notice that when you stress things they just end up getting worse, and right now I'm in a good spot with him but I want to stay in this good spot and I think in order to do that I need to get over my insecurities (realize that if there's a problem in the relationship, he'll tell me) and I don't want to rush anything with him. (link)
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Hey,
Taking things slowly means he wants to make this last. Imagine that perfect ice-cream, that perfect cheesecake, that perfect dessert - can you see yourself indulging in it in slow-motion even though you're devouring it in real life? It's just like that. Do not let your past dictate your present and future. Sure, we all learn lessons, mistakes are made and we become cautious but don't let that take over. I see you more as cautious than insecure, and there needs to be a balance between comfort and caution. Being too cautious may send the wrong signal, something like "You're doing it wrong" or "I want to push you away". Being too comfortable may make you appear careless and too available, which you are not. Trust your instincts. Do you want this specific dessert to last more than two spoonfuls? If you do, take a breath, take another breath, hold his hand, and live. Best of luck =).
K
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