about

I'm a 19 yr old mainly agnostic ex philosophy student with rather strong views about a lot of things. I'm very liberal, love the diversity I live in in London and hate that America hasn't separated church from state.
I'm engaged to the love of my life, but agree it is a little bizarre to get engaged at 18.
I'm confident, quite literally crazy, caring and crippled. My manual wheelchair is called Sebastian and he gets scared when he goes too fast, my electric is called Jermaine (after the Flight of the Conchords character) and he really does not like ice.
I can read Braille and I know basic sign language because I believe everyone should be given equal chances. I dislike it that money doesn't have Braille on it.
I'll do my best to help out with your situations, I've been in and seen many a family conflict, I've had my fair share or love life crises, I've had about every illness known to man (could tell you a lot of amusing stories about psychiatric wards) and I'm "The Queen of Hair Dye" so hopefully I'll have some idea about advice. If it looks like I don't give lots of advice, it's because I only advise on things I know about. I also detest poor spelling and grammar so although having dyslexia makes me a bit hypocritical about this.

advice

I live in London 2 by the way!! Eneyway I was dating this guy for a year and we got on so well and he said he really loves me and wants to be with me forever about a month ago he dumps me he said me being mixed raced confuses things to much for him he is white and he said he cant get to serious with me but he still loves me! I dont understand what he means unless I am weird nd I still love him so much and am lost.

I understand that you love him still, but don't understand how he can say he loves you then be so racist. I know how horrid it is when you have to leave someone you love but you should have more courage and self respect than to stay or bother with someone, however much you love them, that has views on race like that. To me, race has nothing to do with anything anymore, apart from residual culture etc. It sounds like a lame excuse to me and you deserve better than that. If he wants to know whats going on, tell him that those race comments are completely inaproppriate and that you are worth better than him.
Need anything else let me know xx

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I don't know whats wrong with me. I have a great relationship, with a wonderful guy, a rare guy who is sweet, loving and considerate. So why am i worring so much? I constantly think about him dumping me, or him getting bored, or me getting bored, missing out on other guys. But you see i know that im only a sophmore, and have plenty of time to have fun and date, and i know im probably just takeing everthing to serious like i tend to do. I worry about our future, if he's loosing interest, if im falling out of love. I care alot about him, and i dont want to screw this up, we have been dateing for 7 months, i just cant stop worring and thinking of the worst thing possible. Idk what to do.

:D I'm exactly like this with my fiance.

The best advice I can give you is that if you enjoy being with him, thats the only thing that matters. This is not the end of the world. You have time. Take it one day at a time, if you don't want to see him one day, don't. Take it as it goes and remember that being with people is meant to be fun. Let it be what it is.

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Ok well something has happened and i dont know how to feel. There is this guy but comes off as really immature, concieted, and just a plain jerk sometimes. But when we are alone he seems so sweet.
And he told my little brother, (they are friends) that he thought i was hott and was going on and on about how he couldnt wait to meet me. And when we did meet (he lives in my home state, i reside 6 hours away) he was asking me questions about me like my intrests and my hobbies. But if there were other girls around or his friends it was like i was a burden. And it really hurt. But at the same time it makes me want him more. All i ever tried to do was be friends with him, even though i wanted more. My dad said he is always asking about me and going into my room.
He has a crush on this 12 year old, and he is 16, but he untied her binkini top and it made me mad because this little girl is like my little sister. So i seriuosly wanted to kill him. Because it hurt her so much.
When i was there for the summer i saw him talking to one of our neighbors so i went up and said hi and the neighbor said "your girlfriend is waiting for you tyler." and he said "she isnt my girlfriend, and still she lives in kentucky." and the neighbor started saying if tyler did anything i didnt like to tell him and he would kill him.
Whats going on because i dont know what to feel or what to think or what to do???!!!

I'm not sure I understand the situation fully, but what I would say, is if this guy pisses you off because hes a jerk, if this is to do with liking you or not it doesnt matter, he's still a jerk.

I would leave it for a while, see how you feel after a while. Relationships are meant to be fun, if you don't have fun being with this dude cos he acts like a jerk, then don't go out with him.

If he is so concerened by what other people think about him liking you (shown by him being nice when you're alone and irritating when you aren't) then he isnt worth the bother of figuring out.
Find someone who isnt afraid of what other people think.

Hope it helps.

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I ended things with my boyfriend because it was just too serous for the time being (both 14).

& its been a month & ive been pretty much fine. But yesterday & today ive noticed how much i miss him. Theres pictures of him all over facebook, his yahoo status was "do you think about me too somtimes?" & i just wanted to IM him like, yeah i do & i miss you! I havent talked to him in a whole month & i miss him. Any help getting him off my mind? Just logging off facebook & yahoo wont help because in the middle of tennis class i just want to call him. I know if i get over this i can get over the relationship but i just need help forgetting about him. In 2 weeks my closest friends are leaving to camp & me & him will mainly be the only ones left in the city (i have other friends that willbe here to hang out with but theyr not my closest you know?) & im worried if i dont have somthing to keep me away i wont be able to.
Thanks so much!

Talk to him, theres no reason why you can't be friends, especially if you were friends before you got together.
If you were close, it sounds silly but its going to be easier to get over each other with the help of each other, rather than just starving yourself of someone who's been a big part of your life.

Hope it works out xx

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hii, im fourteen and female, and like a guy whos also 14. we've never been in the same school and we wont be in the same highschool either and we dont know that many of the same people yet.. excpet for two of our really good friends and thats how we know eachother really .. we really started liking eachother but its becoming hard to see eachother to actually have a relationship and stuff and we've been only texting lately... but we've both also gone away a lot and stuff i the past month so its been hard = \ . he said he really likes me still but it would be really hard for things to work out.. so we agreed when he comes back we'd hang out and see what happens from then.. what are some things i should do to help make this work and maybe even keep him still interested (without seeing eachother as much)? or should i even bother, or keep trying? .. he lives about 20 minutes away from me, across town, and any help would be greatt (:
thankss,

Don't just text, call him up and have a proper long conversation when you can't be with him.
You should be able to see him every weekend?
Webcams are also great for relationships when you dont see each other often, cos you can see their face and talk to them at the same time. Its almost like they're there.

If you miss him when you don't see him, have something of his at your house (don't steal it mind)
I have my fiancees teddy bear at my house, and when I miss him its a really nice reminder that hes there for me.

At the end of the day though, relationships are meant to be fun, and if its too stressfull, then let it go, its not going to be your last.

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So me and my boyfriend will have been together for about two years when his 18th birthday rolls around (beginning of October), and I have no idea what to get/do for him. Last year I had a pretty nice paying summer job, so I was able to buy him an xbox 360 with a game. This year Ive got another decently paying job, so money really isnt an issue. I just want to do/get something special because its his 18th you know?

Any ideas?

1: Why not get hip an ipod or similar (and docking station etc if you want to spend more) and load songs on to it that tell him how you feel about him, and pictures of you two together. A bit like a modern twist on the mix tape.

2: You could get him a photo makeover thing for the two of you so that you get some professional pictures of the two of you together.

3: What about a minibreak/holiday take him to a city he really wants to go to for a few days. It doesn't have to be too expensive.

4: take him to see his favourite band with dinner before/after and a night in a hotel?

5: whatever you get him, you could leave a note or letter for him somewhere in the packaging, telling him how much he means to you.

Thats all Ive got at the moment, hope he has a good one

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This might be a silly question, but I just want your opinions.

When is the age that you should (well, not 'should'... you know what I mean) start dating. Like really be looking for a long-term relationships and even potentially a future husband? I've never really dated seriously before, and I would just like to know what a good age/stage in life would be to start looking for a potential husband.

I'm 17 and a half, and I would to get married at 21-22. (I'll be done with college when I'm 21, and I want to have a kid before 24... LOL I know I'm weird).

Well, I never planned to get married or anything like that and at 18 after 4 months of dating I was engaged and really looking forward to spending my life with him.

The point is that as you go through your life you will probably date the same people, if you're looking for a potential husband or not. I think you're more likely to find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with if you find someone you enjoy being with.

You can still have that idea in your head but don't forget that dating and marriage are meant to enrich your lives, not be a trial trying to find the right guy.

I hope it all works out for you!

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ok so i think i'm gonna have my first kiss this week and i am soooooo scared so PLEASE help me. seriously PLEASE. i like him alot and i really don't want to mess anything up!!! PLEASE!!!! i just need some good tips so i can relax a little bit. thanks, please help me.

The best advice I can give is kissing and going out with people is meant to be fun, thats the only reason we do it. So don't worry about it, it's not going to affect anything really in your future unless you plan on marrying this person.
Just enjoy it.

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I need some ideas for my boyfriends birthday present. We have been going out for almost a year and Aside from other gifts, i'm going to give him a coupon book. It's going to be like this is good for ONE FREE MASSAGE or one FREE KISS. but i dont know what else to do? The more ideas the better!! Thank you!

Its old school but make him a mix cd/tape of all the songs that describe how you feel about him. Even if he doesn't like the songs he'll appreciate the jesture.
You could write him a list of 101 reasons why you love him.
What about a nice, simple, personalised piece of jewellery? Enscribed with both your initials or something?
If you've got to that stage you might want an evening devoted to his pleasure, maybe do things you dont usually do that he enjoys a lot.
In his birthday card don't just write happy birthday, write how you feel about him and how happy you are to be with him.

Hope you find them useful! Hope he has a great birthday!

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My mom is making me get braces soon and i think i have a choice of colors. What color would you pick and why?

Thanks

Red because red is blatently the best colour ever and its kinda making a statement, ok so I have braces, so what?! If youre getting them, flaunt them as a fashion accessory, sounds stupid, but if you think about it, its really not.

Hope its all cool etc.
Take care xx

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okay..so im going out with this guy and it's been a week...and well i tell him like EVERYTHING on msn but in real life like i never really talk to him :( ..what should i do?

-xoxxinoyouloveme

Its quite an infantile stage in a relationship, im assuming you are young here (13/14ish? However having said that, my relationship used to be like this and im 16 and my boyfriend is 19 so we should know better really lol, but anyway.

Trick is to bring up conversations you have had on msn in person, just little snippets of the conversation, a related idea. That breaks down the barriers between the person you talk to on msn and the person who you see as your boyfriend.

But overall, dont worry about it, just talk to him and it will get easier over time to talk in person about difficult stuff.

Hope it all works out, take care xx

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Im 15 female and ive never had a boyfriend before. Im not going to say im ugly becuase people will just say "youre beautiful inside" blah blah. But my question: Will a guy still want to go out with me if i dont want to do anything past makeing out? Well at least him doing to me..or until i feel more comfortable with my body.

So am i considered prude?
Will I ever get a boyfriend if i feel this way?

Of course they will! Ive had quite a few boyfriends and im not that pretty and i wouldnt ever go further than making out, well not for a long while anyway.

No you arent prude, you are sensible to be honest. I admire people who are strong enough in themselves to say they wont go further than making out.

Yes, yes you will, but in my experience guys are generally annoying so i wouldnt rush it lol!

Take care xx

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if i get my boyfriend a 256MB mp3 player..how many songs can he fit on it?
he doesn't need much because he doesn't download music..so it would be pretty much for him to transfer his cds to so he can listen to music while he works out or at the bus stop and such.
we've only been together for about 2 months, so i don't want to spend much more than $40...which i can get one of these for.
do you think this will be a good present?

about 4 and a half albums, you dont really need much more than that, I have a 512mb and it was half full for a year and i have 20 gb of music, you dont need all your music at once you see.
Take care, hope he likes it xx

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well along time ago there was this guy and we went out for 2 months but i loved him so much, we never fought about anythingg and he really cared about me. (well i thought atleast) then he had to move and we wouldnt be able to see each very much so he broke up with me.. and i told him i would wait and i waited a year for him (and during that year he was an ass and he treated me like crap)but then we talked and we started going out again everything was really good and we were going out for 3 months and then in a week my feelings changed and i didnt wanna talk to him, be with him or anything.. and so i told him that i was thinking about breaking up with him ... and he goes "well think about it long and hard, because this is your last chance to go out with me".. i got really mad and it hurt a lott! Soo i know that i should break up with him, and im going to but i just wanted to hear what everyone else thoughttt .. thankssss a bunch

-anonymous

Well you have the answer. Break up with him and leave him. You solved it yourself.

Take care xx

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Is it weird that im in 7th grade and havnt had my first kiss yet?? i mean, so many people in my grade have been kissed. Am im like, a freak or something?

No you really arent a freak, dont worry, loads of my mates didnt have their first kiss till they were 15 or so and one or 2 are still kiss virgins.

And anyway, the other people are probably elaborating slightly on their achivements.

Take care xx

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i like my boyfriend alot and i really want to meet(french kiss) him and he asked me to but the problem is dont know how!!!!! he is really expierenced and every1 he has meet said he was really good at it.
please give me some good tips on french kissing!i rate 5s for every try! (13/f)

Okey well the trick is to try to be relaxed about it, but keep your tounge moving. Not rapidly because thats just strange and annoying, but at a lesuirely pace. Pretend you are writing the alphabet with your tounge. And once you have got your confidence up, try very softly biting his tongue, its a real turn.
Hope it all goes well
Take care xx

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okay so i have liked this guy since last year and we have been really good friends. he is in 8th grade and im a freshmen and he always waits for me before 4th period every day and hugs me everytime he sees me. and so i finally told him and he says that we are too good of friends and he doesnt want to mess anything up but i dont really get it because all the girls he has gone out with have like cheated on him and stuff and he knows i would never be like that and i dont understand why you wouldnt want to go out with your friend.. like would you rather go out with a complete stranger? someone please help idk what to do.

Ive been in this situation before, many times, its hard.

Try explaining to him that you would never hurt him and if hes worried about you maybe not being friends after, say how you get on tooo well not to be friends... if that makes sense.

Its worked twice for me! lol

take care xx

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What's the difference between dating and "going out"?? Thanks!

Dating isnt quite as.. solid.

With going out with someone there is usually the question, it is usually seen as slightly more binding than dating which is more casual.

Take care xx

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For some time now i've thought i was bi. I've never done anything but i've realized how i was thinking was totally different and unusual. It's been a year and i still haven't made up my mind. Once in awhile i'll "decide" that i'm not but then it ALWAYS comes back and drives me nuts until i'll decide i'm not again. But even then i can't get it off my mind. I know that raging hormones has to deal with this too, but what are the chances of this coming back EVERY SINGLE TIME?!?!?! My family is against it and my friends are okay with it. So please don't tell me to talk with my parents. I just need to know what's going on and why i can't decide. I'll rate ya high!!!

This is almost exactly like what i went through, i still get doubts when i tell people im bi, but i wouldnt bother about trying to figure it out if you cant, because to be honest it doesnt matter if you are bi or not, just like who you like and to hell with the labels.

Take care xx

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how do you approach a stranger at a party? i'm a really shy 16 year old, and i can't approach strangers. what's an easy way to? what's your experience with approaching people? don't be scared and just do it? but do what?

get a mate to come with you, or try to get your group of mates to collect near where his is, and then just turn round and say something like hey good party or something. Chances are that other people you know might know him so that might be an option too, to talk to someone who knows him, and then get him into the conversation.

Hope i helped take care

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