Bio♥
Hey, I'm Melody! I've been giving advice on and off since 2003. I'm a 23 year old military wife, expecting a baby boy in August, and working on my Bachelor's degree. :)
Oh, and ask me anything!
Advice
Okay, i have a friend (yes a friends its not me!) and she cuts herself because her EX broke up with her. now shes been cutting herself. im worried about her, she only tells her closest friends. i tell her to stop but she says she cant help it. i really want her to stop. shes my very best friend and i dont want anything bad to happen to her. i love her! shes the best! i hate seeing her unhappy! when her parents see her cuts she says she ran into stuff, she fell and all those excuses! (she cuts everywhere on her body except her wrists) i wish i could do something but i dont know what to do! Have u ever had this problem? Please help me, even more, help my friend!!
-Only Wants To Help Out
The truth is, if your friend really didn't want help she wouldn't tell ANYONE. The fact she has told you, and perhaps a few others, means she does want help. She just doesn't know how to do it on her own.
Self-mutiliation is a serious disease. Just like any other addiction, it won't go away with time. She won't grow out of it. It WILL get worse. She needs help. She needs you! Even if she doesn't think she wants to stop, she does. Even is she thinks she doesn't want you to tell anyone, she needs you too. As a friend, it is your job to care for her. Be there for her through the good and bad. Are you up to it? If not it's probably best not to get involved. It's going to get messy.
First thing you need to do is tell her you love her, you understand she is upset, but doing what she is doing is no way to go about healing. Let her know she needs to tell someone, NOW! Then let her know if she won't tell someone, you will. Sound harsh? It is. Give her a couple days. Then tell her parents if she doesn't. She can't get help on her own. She needs a support system, and it starts with you. It needs to end with her & her parents though.
Will she mad? Yes. Will she ignore you for a long time? Yes. Will she thank you in the long run? Definitely. You can save this girls life, but it won't be easy.
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i know its early, but i already got my homecoming dress (GOOD sale) .. i dont know if i like it or not tho, im gonna decide today if i wanna keep it or return it. but one of the prblms is, it has a really low back that kinda like, laces up, but its open .. u know what i mean?? wat kind of bra can i wear with it .. its too low for a strapless one (but it would hafta be strapless) .. and the "backless" styles come like all the way down to your belly button and are kinda constricting, and i dont wanna be like that for homecoming .. so do you know of any other types that would hold up good for the whole night but still be comfy??
thanks TONS
xOxO*
((i'll rate good!!))
You can get adhesive nude colored bras that have no back at all. You can get them at a lot of different stores, but they are especially cheap on ebay. The brand I like is "Nubra"
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I tried masturbating with a banana because I read that it felt really good, but then I bled after a couple minutes. Should I be worried?
It isn't safe, & you should NEVER do it again. With that being said, you will more than likely be okay.
I'll bet you will end up with a nasty yeast infection, but other than that you should be okay. If you experience any vaginal problems that persists for more than a week, or you suddenly get sick (fever, chills, etc) you should get to a doctor as soon as possible. That means you probably have an infection.
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So here's my little pickle.
Met this guy, got wasted a few days later and had sex with him. Texted once in a while, but didn't really talk or hang out that much. Texted like buddies would. I was "talking" to someone for a very long time, and was sexually active with him, but we were drifting apart, and then something huge happened and we are no longer on speaking terms. So this brings me and this guy extremely close together, pretty much best friend status. BUT, we have sex every once in a while (but it is extremely rare, and usually when we are drunk, except I stayed a weekend with him and that was all sex pretty much).
So what kind of relationship is this? We get along so well, he knows about my heartbreaks with my guys, and gives me shit about my stupidity when it comes to guys all the time. I love him, but I think its only as a best friend. We are like from two different planets, yet we never run out of things to talk about, and we'd do anything for each other. Problem is, I've never heard of best friends having sex before. Could we be one of those best friends who are in love with each other, and not even know it, yet everyone else knows we are? Like sometimes I just look at him, and think I want to hold you as close to me as I possibly can, because I love you to death, and sometimes this leads to sex, although otherwise when I look at him I don't think I'm sexually attracted to him.
Help! So confused. Just want your thoughts and opinions. Reason that made me ask this, is because last night we had sex (last time before that was like a month ago, although we see each other every day) and I cannot stop thinking about him, and how we kissed, and how much I care about him (he's been there for me through a lot).
We are both college age.
He's your f*ck buddy. I have personally never understood this kind of relationship, but suprisingly it appears to be pretty common nowadays.
Usually in that relationship, one person starts feeling things for the other and that becomes the end of it. I actually know a girl who used to have one. They had rules and everything. If one of them started dating, they would stop having sex. If one of them started feeling things for the other, they would stop. I personally thought it was the sluttiest thing I had ever heard of, but I kept it to myself. This girl did have feelings for this guy, which just made the relationship that much more twisted.
You need to stop having sex until you figure out what it is you want. Continue hanging out with him, and try to figure out how he feels about you while you try to figure out how he feels about you. Try dating. It couldn't hurt?
Good luck!
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've been at THIS job maybe 6 months.
I am a Marine professionally and a Caregiver in the cilivian world. This question relates to my caregiver job.
There's this older woman, Gilda, probably in her 50's, she & I rarely talk & even when I give her a report @ my shift-she acts like she's too busy to listen. There's a vibe about her, I do not like-so I keep it strictly business with her, other than "hi,good morning,ect."
Ever since I started working here, she has gone out of her way to make me appear that I don't know how to do my job.
She's constintly complaining to the assistant manager about nonsense.
Who then in turn "talks" aka accuses me of whatever outlandish bullshit she could think of that day.
(Whom by the way, the "AM" is one of her closest friends.
When they do come in-in the morning, they're either talking about one of the other co-workers or are too busy in their "bff world" to listen to the shift debriefing.)
I've been in the medical field almost 3 years, and tho that's not that long- I know what I'm doing and how to do my job effectively.
I'm the youngest one working there, I'm 24 and I think I've done pretty well with dealing with these types of people. I've been really nice & respectful to her and everyone else I work with, yet Gilda seems so set on finding something to nail me with.
Its getting so immature & ridiculous, its also starting to irritate me that the "AM" (assistant manager) just automatically sides with her or dosent even give me the benefit of the doubt when interrogating me.
Examples, I work in a group home working overnights-so we have to do EVERYTHING.
Anywho, one morning after I had gotten everyone up and dressed, did a shower and changed linen, there was a lot of laundry so I separated it into two piles & when I left there was clothes in both the washer & dryer. (Usually its only in the washer when I leave and I wrote it in the "communication book" that I left out for them to see it, bc sometimes I'm such in a rush to get out of there & get to class on time ill forget to tell them stuff so I write about occurances/info throughout the night. It wasn't done by 7am so I had no choice but to leave it in there.)
The next morning, Gilda makes this big long speach that I need to fold the laundry in the dryer.
I reminded her that it was in the communication book and that in fact I did tell her.
She just shook her head a remained silent. And the next day the "AM" had a talk with me & said when Gilda talked to me about it *I* was unresponsive and didn't seem to care.
Another example, we have an abusive, tyrant resident that I've had many, many issues with, nearly everyday.
One morning, she wAs flippin out about the house not having any cookies and apparently it was my fault. When I went into her room to make her roommates bed, she threw tissue boxes at me, kicked her walker, messed up her room, broke stuff, told me to get the hell out, ect... Again, I wrote it in the communication book and told Gilda that I couldn't make the beds in that room bc this resident was such and such blah, blah. She said ok and nodded her head like she understood.
That following Monday, bc this happened on a Friday, the "AM" "asks" if I remembered to make all the beds bc I had left two of them unmade Friday. I went to the communication book and my notes weren't there.
I tried to explain to him, but he didn't seem to care enough to listen to my side.
And of course that morning she didn't say anything to me.
Just resently, as in 5*14*2010 7am, Gilda asks if I have been changing a resident who is steadily declining and is refusing to help.
Now, I've written notes and talked to them in the morning (and so has the 3pm-11pm caregiver) that she's really hard to get up, yet its possible-easier with two, but possible with one none the less.
Gilda says when she goes to change her in the morning she's soaking wet.
Now, there is not a schedule for when someone urinates. Regardless being in this field or not, everyone who pees knows that its no gaurantee that just bc you take someone to the restroom dosent mean they're not gonna pee as soon as they get back to their room. I just looked @ her like, 'are you really that stupid.' While she accused with those eye brows and wide eyes, which nonetheless the AM was in the kitchen with us, he didn't say anything but you could tell he was listening.
She asked more stupid questions and gave out obvious facts, like 'she's not helping lift herself anymore' and she must be heavy and are you sure you're taking her. . Ect.
I told her what the first paragraph of this example says, and maintained an "non offended" face with good composure. Then as I left, I told them to check the cameras bc that's what they're there for.
As soon as I shut the door, I heard Gilda and the AM talking shit. And saying she dosent believe me, ect.
And the list goes on and on, did I empty the dishwasher? Did I clean the bathrooms, did I put cream on everyone, did I take the trash out, blah, blah, blah. All that is common sense.
NOTHING is ever a question, she asks me like she already knows, which really insults me, as a caregiver.
I know I'm doing my job and I know that people who are constintly complaining about others, are usually the ones trying to defer attention from themselves. Or whatever their intension. It only bothers me bc, like I said she's been there longer and she has really good relationships with the higher ups. And I need this job but am filling out other apps but til I find something else, I'm stuck.
Does anyone have any advise on how to deal with her better or shut her up at least???
You can't shut her up. She is in good with the assistant manager, and you are the new girl. It sucks, but unfortunately that's how it is.
You shouldn't wait until something goes wrong to deal with this problem, because it appears it is ongoing. Don't go over Gilda's head just yet. Talk to her one day before or after work. Let her know in advance you want a word with her. If she ignores you, firmly say you feel you aren't being listened too, and you would like her full attention. Let her know you respect her as a worker, and understand she has been there longer and has more experience. However, you also know how to do your job, and you feel she doesn't trust you or your work. Tell her you feel you are being attacked, and you want to resolve the issue. Listen to her, let her talk. Allow her to explain her situation, and then you can explain yours. If this proves to be ineffective, then you should talk to the assistant manager.
Tell her the same thing you told Gilda. Don't bad mouth Gilda, and don't be whiny or accusative. Only explain that you feel unappreciated and like you are constantly being watched by the other workers. Once again, if this doesn't work talk to the next higher-up. And so on, and so forth.
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Hi!
During the past year (senior year) in high-school I have had some big health problems. As a result I had to pull out of school in January and drop all of my university offers. I now have to go back in September to re-do my classes/ exams with the grade below me, and I feel pretty apprehensive. My school has this certain atmosphere, so people rarely make friends in different grades- I know I haven't. It shouldn't be a big deal, but I'm an introvert and find it hard to make new friends, so I'm nervous that I might end up alone the whole time. I'm wondering if something is wrong with my mind set- should I just be more stoic or what? I'd really appreciate any advice on what I should do.
Thanks so much!
I would be upset too, if we are just being honest. The best way to look at it is on the positive side. You are a senior; it's just one year and then you are out of there.
Who says you have to make friends in school? It's not all about socializing. Focus on your studies. You still have your other friends that you can hang out with outside of school. That's not to say you shouldn't try to make friends. When you go to college you are going to be surrounded by all new people, so making friends is a given. Start practicing now.
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my bfs little girl has been with us for the last month. her mother dropped her off one week and said she will see her when she can. the little girl says her mom doesnt love her, that she wont see her, and her mom rather hang out with her bf then her. what do i tell her, its all true but of course i am not saying it is. i tell her that her mom still loves her but what else can i say to make her feel better without getting her hopes up that she will see her again. cause right now she isnt going to for awhile
my bf is getting full custody because this is stupid her getting child support and not seeing her child at all.
I would say it's best not to touch on the subject at all. Let your boyfriend handle that. It's honestly just not your place to get involved, especially if your boyfriend is in the process of getting full custody. More than likely there will be a hearing, and with the courts involved, anything negative you say to that child can be used against you (intended or not) in court.\
Next time she says something about her mom, just say mommy's not here right now but while you are with us we are going to have a good time. Then change the subject and go do something fun with her.
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I have been hanging out with this guys since Late February. At first, I thought it was just going to be a one night stand or random hook up type thing. Well this turned out to last longer than just one night and he took me out a few times, paid for dinner and what not. However, we continued to have sex. He let me stay at his place for a few nights and didn't try to have sex with me or anything, introduced me to his friends and even heard from a few of them that he liked me. Now the last time I saw him was this past weekend and he said he would text me. I have not heard form him since then. Normally he would text me throughout the week just to ask how I am or something like that. But this week, nothing. I understand I was probably just the flavor of the week or whatever. I guess this would explain why re just completely stopped talking and left me hanging. Am I right? A guys opinion would be nice, too. If it helps, we're both 20.
Matt has a point. I don't see why some girls think calling a guy is forbidden or something. I am not saying stalk the guy, or be clingy & text/call every day. But a simple text asking him what's up is well deserved, if not expected I would say.
Just send him a text asking if he would like to hang out again sometime. If he doesn't respond, forget him. He was probably a dick anyway.
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no mascara or anything else just eyeliner on lower eyelid.
I have a friend thta only wears eyeliner on her lower lid. She wears mascara though.
As long as it's a charcoal or not to dark it should look fine. It all depends on how you do it.
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I'm trying to get pregnant, I skipped my last period but all pregnancy tests i've taken (3) have been negative...if I'm not pregnant, could I still be fertile this month even though I didn't have a period? Basically I'm wanting to know if I should keep "trying" this month even though I didn't get my period last month (and I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant)
You should keep trying. Just because you didn't have a period last month doesn't eman you won't be fertile. What you should really do is talk to your obgyn. He or she will let you know what days are the best time for you to conceive on. There are also fertility tests you can take that will tell you when you are fertile.
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18/f
I got a new job at yd. Its my first job and I have NO idea how to dress up for it. I have to dress up a little formal, I guess. I have a load of casual clothes, or so I think and I am SO stuck and lost and confused as to what to wear. Its a menswear store. I dont think jeans and a top would do it. I've seen how some people dress up and they wear dresses and that. I'm honestly not a dress person. Please help me!!
I'm so lost and confused and work starts next week! Please help!
I like elegant and classy, and very lady-like. Not something slutty or anything unprofessional, yet.. Not TOO professional with the whole business suit, because that is a little too much. I feel.
Thank you in advance!
Charlotte Russe is a good place to shop for outfits like this. They have a filter on the side that is for "day at the office" That's what you should look into :)
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I have a german sheperd(if i spelled that right) and he doesnt digest food right and i very skinny what could be the cause of this? Please what should i do i've already went to the vet and they dont know.
If your veterinarian is a resepectable one, then (s)he should have been able to give you a straight forward answer. Before you told me you took the dog to the vet, the first thing that came to mind was worms. However if (s)he is up to date on all of his/her medication, then it shouldn't be that. The fact you took the dog to the vet and they don't know what's wrong concerns me.
You should definitely get a second opinion.
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Hi,
I'm 18/f and a college student. I'm studyin gpre-med so I'm taking a lot of science classes. So in high school I never had to work extremely hard (I studied a lot, but didn't have to stay up all night if that makes sense) and I always got A's, but since I go to this really good university and I'm taking advanced classes I'm finding that my study methods are not effective.
So...what can I do to get higher grades on my midterms? What are some study habits that are really effective that I can try?
Thanks a lot
I was the same way when I started college. Seeing the difference in high school workload and then college is kind of intimidating. Here are some ways I managed to keep good grades though:
- Motivation
You have to be motivated to get good grades. Everytime I would get an A on an exam or paper I would be so proud of myself. This motivated me to continue studying hard to keep my good grades up. If I did bad on an assignment, I used that as motivation to do better next time. When you are motivated, it really makes a difference in the quality of your studying. Always think about why you are in college and how getting good grades is going to get you wear you want to go.
- Good work station
Having a quiet place to study is key to taking in information. No one can study with a tv or rock music blaring. It's just not going to happen. Make sure you have a quiet and functional space to study in. If you study in this area every time, your mind associates it with studying and will get you in the right mind set to get your work done.
- Don't procrasinate
This is my biggest problem. In fact, I am procrastinating right now. I have a ton of homework I need to be doing since it's finals week, and here I am on advicenators. Don't do that! :)
Usually in college you will have all of your assignments you will be doing that semester in a syllabus or course calendar. Take advantage of that. Make you an outline of how and when you are going to get all of your assignments done. Study a little bit for your classes every night so you won't be so stressed come test time. If you already learned your material throughout the month, you only have to review it the night before the test.
If it's too late for that and it's already time for you exams, start studying now. Everynight break your studying off into the smallest chunks you can before your test. Review all of the material the night before the test.
Good luck! I know how stressful this time can be!
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19/f so i go to the YMCA to work out. Well my mom decided that i didn't know how to use the machines so she talked to a guy who works there named kyle. And he agreed because unfortunately he helped me with this machine. He's 29/m btw. well anyways i was in a bad mood and my mom wanted me to go to this orientation where kyle would show me how to use the machines. When i first went there i was like look i don't know why my mom mad me come here but i already know how to use the machines. He started laughing and asked me if i wanted to leave, well i said no because my mom was going to come to exercise. So he showed me how to use the machines, but then he started making fun of me after that. and one time he was like your so angry and he started saying that he thinks i like him and i was like um no. and he still makes fun of me. He told me he use to be obese and then he become anorexic and now he's fine. and i think that's why. And i told one of my friends and she told me he does the same to her. So i don't know and one time when he was helping me i caught him staring at my body lol. so yeah i don't know what his deal is.
He probably doesn't want to date you, if that's what you mean. He is a guy. If you have a decent body, he's more than likely going to stare. If he does the same thing to your friend he probably does it to every girl that comes in. His job must suck, so to make it a little less boring he flirts with anyone who will give him some attention.
If it bothers you, talk to the manager or have your mom do it. If it doesn't, don't look to much into it.
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im a junior in high school, the school years is about to end and i'll be a senior next year. My brother recommended out of the blue that in the summer i should take jr college classes in order to get units. I already signed up for it and i plan on taking 12 weeks with 4 classes total, which is about 11 or 12 units. My brother said that by the time i graduate, i should get 30 units, so i'll be taking a few classes during my senior year and during the summer after i graduate, and including this summer coming up.
i was wondering, will this help me? my brother said it will look really good on a university application and it will take a year of college away, so i'll only have to go for 3 years? Is this true? how will this benefit me? and is it a waste of time? Thank you! Let me know some advice!
It will help you. Depending on how many units you to take, you can graduate with a semester, year, or more of college under your belt. It's also usually much cheaper. It will save you a lot of money in the long run. I would do it if you can handle the workload.
One thing I will mention is that you should check to make sure that the classes you are taking will transfer to the college you plan on attending. Otherwise it would be a waste of time.
:)
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Omg...I let out a pretty big one WHILE we were intimate...to be really specific...he was right by it when it happened. Obviously after that happened, he laughed and so did I...but it did kind of mess up the mood and he just sat up and started watching tv. He randomly made fun of me throughout the day, but I just got really butthurt (no pun intended). I became really self conscious..thinking that I just ruined our sex life and that he will forever be turned off and I ruined his fantasy for me. I used to be so confident in the bedroom and this just TOTALLY messed it up for me. It feels like I'm making it a bigger deal than it is...but that's just the way I feel. Obviously, he got turned off because he didnt continue and kept making fun of me. Gawd...any feedback?
If it ruined his opinion of you then he wouldn't have joked about it throughout the day. If he was honestly bothered, he probably would have came up with an excuse to leave and never mention it again.
The fact he is joking about it makes me think that although it was probably awkward for both of you, it's probably bothering you more than him. He is trying to laugh it off. Express your embarrassment, and then forget about it. This kind of thing happens, probably more than you think. If you guys are close and comfortable with each other, then this shouldn't be bothering you too much.
He is a guy. Trust me; unless it's on your part, your sex life is going to be just fine. I am sure he will continue wanting to have sex. He's a man.
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im 19. for the past 3 or 4 nights i've been extremely nauseous and i don't understand why. im not pregnant, i haven't changed my diet, and i feel fine during the day but when im about ready for bed at night i just start to feel SO sick, to the point that the smell of food makes me want to puke and im in the fetal position with stomach queasiness. i'm started birth control last month [tri-sprintec] and am on the 2nd week of my 2nd pack, but i didn't experience any symptoms like this last month so i didn't think they'd start now. any idea of what this could be or what i could do? i'm a college student & don't have health insurance, so i can't really afford a doctor.
If it is merely uncomfortable I would wait a few more months, seeing as how you recently started taking birth control. I was sick to my stomach the first few months I started taking YAZ.
If you are in pain to the point that it is unbearable, you need to see a doctor. It doesn't matter if you have health insurance; if you are really sick, a doctor is obligated to see you.
It could be constipation or irregularity. Try eating foods with a lot of fiber. Only if the pain isn't awful though. Like I said, if it's bad see a doctor.
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so im in a group of friends, i guess u could say we're kinda popular, but its my first year at this school and im good friends with all these people. little did i know, that last year none of them had problems with each other, and now every person in our little group of friends has a problem with another one in the group. its really bad, and hard to avoid, but somehow i manage. im close friends with a girl, lets call her "S", and im also friends with 2 other girls, lets call them "B" and "C". S liked C and B before, and now she doesnt. C told me that S was acting two-faced and that C didnt do anything, and she doesnt know why S is acting like this. I told C stuff that i probably shouldnt have told her. Like S didnt like her or B and that she only likes me, the lacrosse team(that S and I are both on) and another girl, she doesnt really matter. But, S facbooked chatted me this morning, flipping out and bitching at me that i told C everything. B messaged S and told her that she didnt like her and that she wishes she heard it from S instead of me. S is really pissed at me, and now i think she hates me, and she wanted me to fix everything that happened. i don't know how and if i do try and fix it, i dont want to loose S as a friend, or C and B, because i like them, and we've had our issues, but we're good friends now, and i dont want us to not like each other. i know i should fix what i did, i just dont know how, if anyone can help me, id really appreciate it, and how should i go with this whole situation, i dont know what to make of it, if anyone could help me with that too, awesome.
sorry its long.
I am just going to be completely honest with you. I read your question until the, "let's call my friends A, B, and C" part. That really complicates questions a lot, and I just couldn't keep up with it so I stopped reading.
From what I can tell, you are friends with a large group of girls who have gotten into a petty argument. You somehow managed to put your self right in the middle of it and now everyone is mad at you. Is that close?
If it is, here is my advice:
Talk to each one of your friends one on one, face to face. Apologize for anything you may have done to hurt one of them, and then let each of them know you have no intentions of getting in the middle of this problem. Let each of them know you value your friendships too much to let this argument tear you away from any of them.
One thing you HAVE to learn if you want to survive in high school drama free is to just shut up. When they are bad mouthing each other, just igonore them and try to change the subject. If one of them asks if the other has been talking about them behind their backs, simply reply with, "I am staying out of it. If you respect me as a friend you won't put me in the middle of it." Once again, just change the subject.
Good luck. :)
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Is it illegal to take someone else's medicine that was prescribed to them?
Yes. Very illegal.
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I got my nails done (a full set) and they've grown out. I can't afford to get them filled or to go back to the place to get them removed. Last time, I tried tearing them off myself, but it took a week and they looked miserable. So is there anything cheap I can buy at that store that will take them off?
Soak them in nail polish remover that has acetone in it. Then work them loose. Your nails are going to look weak and brittle no matter if you take them off yourself or have the salon do it for you. That's what stinks about acrylic nails.
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