|
|
|
Q: My girlfriend has depression, it's not as severe as it could be, but it often worries me as I can't always be there to see how she's coping when she is having a 'down' day as we're both at university. I don't know how I can help to make her feel better when she is feeling like this, she has self-harmed before and neither of us want it to get to that point again. She says that I am helping, but as I'm not there I don't know if she's just saying that to make me feel at ease...I also know that depression is an illness that isn't going to disappear overnight, I just wondered if anyone had any tips on how I could help her to cope? Just to make her day a little better? Anything.
Thanks.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thank you for acknowledging that depression is an illness. I do have to partially disagree with DoktorTammy; real depression is a clinical deficiency in serotonin or dopamine (both feel-good chemicals) in the brain, and can be helped in several ways, some of which include hollistic treatments (accupuncture, aromatherapy, etc.). Most people, when confronted with an illness such as this - and it is an illness; it has remission. However, there is a distinct and important difference between clinical (chemical) depression and situational depression, which does not need to be treated with medications, but with exercise or dancing, or anything that creates endorphins to allow her to feel happier.
Self-injury is as much an addiction as any drug can be, but the reason it works is that endorphins are the body's natural painkillers - so in response to being caused pain, the body releases those painkillers, which make her feel better, temporarily. If she's in remission from this right now, just trust her not to be hurting herself.
Call her whenever you can just to talk. Make sure she knows that you are there for her to talk to, and you care about her. Send her loving messages, write her love letters - snail mail is great in this sense.
She may feel weak, but remind her she's strong.
Is she on any kind of medication for her condition? Is she seeing a therapist? If not, she needs to be at least evaluated for depression to see if medication would help.
I know SSRIs and SNRIs are often unnecessarily prescribed, but it's worth a trip to the doctor for her to see if this is a chemical issue or not. If it is, she needs a prescription. If not, she should still be seeing a therapist. Most insurances will cover some part of mental health treatment.
The best thing for you to do to her, as the columnist before me suggested, is listen to her. If she wants to talk, have a conversation. Do try to convince her to seek therapy, though.
There doesn't have to be a stigma on mental health or mental illness anymore. She's not crazy, she's just hurting. Hell, I see a therapist and I'm not depressed. I do have other issues. It's a good way for me to sort through what's going through my head, when I'm overwhelmed. The journal idea was also a good one, if finances are a problem with the therapist.
Be kind to her. Hug her. Kiss her, cuddle her when you can, talk when you can't. Instant Message, e-mail frequently. Skype... you could get a pair of webcams so you can talk face-to-face. Do what you can to make her feel at ease and able to learn on you, if you can handle it.
Good luck.
Siren
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thank you so so much, your answer was pretty much everything I was looking for! Thankyou for taking the time!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
bio
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.
I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.
I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.
Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.
***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***
If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.
I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.
Siren
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Info
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Website: Gender: Female Age: 26 AIM: Member Since: February 13, 2004 Answers: 1526 Last Update: April 26, 2014 Visitors: 107678
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|