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ok so my boyfriend and i are about to have sex for the first time , i'm a virgin, he's not and he has had many sexual partners 16, and i wanna have sex with him BUT i wanna ask him to get an STD test since im worried. i dont know ANYTHING about std test like how are they perform? do you ask for a special kind? or specific test? or do you just go ask for an std test and that includes getting tested for all diseases??
so 1. what kind of test should he ask for, do you have to specify which diseases you wanna get tested for?
2. how can i ask my boyfriend to get a test done without sounding rude cause he has had a bad past lots of girls including trips to amsterdam if you know what i mean ...
i am gonna ask him to get the test but i wanna make sure it isnt in vain and that im not missing on something like i dont know if you should ask to get tested for specific diseases or what
please help! (link)
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Unfortunately, most STD screenings don't test for everything you want to know about without you specifically requesting for the extra tests. Your partner would likely get a few swabs on his genitals, and possibly his mouth, as well as having some bloodwork done. They may take a urine sample in some cases. Nothing major.
It's wise to talk with someone when making the appointment about what they test for and if they're open to testing for something you request. Most places have a list that they can read off, and if you have made a list of things you need tested then you can compare them over the phone and say, "Hey, could you also test for..." Most places will do the extra testing, but some will charge slightly more for that.
It's remarkable how many don't test for herpes. Don't you think that's crazy? It is.
Here is a list of STDs you'll want your partner tested for since he has had his fair share of encounters:
- Chlamydia
- Gonorrhea
- Trichomoniasis
- HIV/AIDS
- Herpes (HSV-1 and HSV-2 / Oral and Genital)
- Hepatitis B and C (HBV and HCV)
- Chancroid
You must also know something quite serious. HPV (Human papillomaviruses) doesn't show up in men. There are no test for HPV in males, and many times (more times than not) they show no signs of infection. They simply pass the strain onto the next woman, who then suffers from anything from warts to cancer. And if you've had the "HPV SHOT" (Gardasil) then think twice about being "protect" against HPV. There are well over 100 unique strains of HPV. Gardasil was only designed to prevent 4. There is no cure for HPV once it's been contracted. So, there is something you will never know your partner has, if he has it, until something bad happens with you and a negative papsmear result comes back as finding something. So, while his test results may come back clear, he may not actually be clean.
As for asking him to get a test, you should just talk with him about your concerns. You could approach it from the angle of you also wanting to get tested with him because you've read that virgins can have STDS (and they can, that isn't a lie). You could approach it from the angle of loving him and wanting to move forward with the relationship, and that having this STD test done would ease your mind about some worries you have over the whole ordeal. You could approach it from the angle of him knowingly been with multiple women and that you both know how STDs spread so you want to make sure he's in good health.
In the end, how could he become angry with you for wanting you both to be safe and healthy, right? It might seem rude at first if you approach it in a way that says, "I think you slept with trashy women," but, honestly, you're not doing anything but saying, "I love you."
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Rating: 5
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Thanks alot i really appreciate your help!
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