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Okay so I'm 19 male and my girlfriend doesn't want to be penetrated. I'm okay with it. But she still likes doing sexual things with each other. We have been together for a year and didn't start fooling around till 6 months ago. Basically, we are getting bored with the things we do and i don't want to hurt her by suggesting straight up sex. I want her to keep her "virginity" but we just don't know what to do. I know this is an awkward question and i feel really awkward asking it but i could really use the advice and i think i derserve this since seeing how all the advice i've given. Thanks in advance guys(gals) (link)
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Spice things up with what you do now. Build anticipation. Make her want it. That is really all you can do in any relationship regarding sex.
Yes, even if you were to have intercourse you would, eventually, find yourself doing the "same old thing" over and over again.
So, how do couples "fix" this problem of bedroom bore?
They incorporate toys. Consider purchasing an external vibrator to use on her when you two are having a lustful moment. It doesn't have to be a dildo or penetrative kind either.
Blindfolds, handcuffs, ties, and the like. A lot of people like this sort of thing. A blindfold can add mystery. Being handcuff means you've given all of your control away to trust the other person to please you without crossing boundaries. If you think this might be a good idea then I'd go with the blindfold only first and then, later, talk about the usage of other things.
Become sensual. A body massage can really heat things up. So can a foot massage, for that matter. A lot of people have great success being, ahem, sexual and sensual with nonsexual body parts, if you can catch my drift on that. The receiver gets all worked up for an orgasm (which can be done with outer stimulation, of course).
Everyone likes romanticism. Take her out, treat her to a nice evening, and then bring her home and make it all about her. You can slowly remove hers (and yours) clothing if you'd like and work your way around her body slowly. Lots of movies have these sorts of suggestions if you notice. The whole "panties in the teeth" or kissing on the body. Yeah, it builds that anticipation.
Find what feels good. A lot of times people don't even think about doing things out of the box. Instead of being in the same position every time you do something rearrange yourselves. Sometimes you'll find a surprisingly good "spot" you didn't even know about. Change positions when you're doing some acts. Try a few new things you can think of that might have new results for whatever cause.
Surprise! Everyone likes surprises, right? Instead of talking about what you want to do next week to her just plan it out by yourself. Surprise her. Read up on new material to gather some ideas. Sometimes people react well to the unexpected.
Learn together. I know this might sound crazy but sometimes you can really spice up your sex life by learning things together. Check out some sex books from the library. Rent a few adult dvds (even the educational ones are great for watch-and-try purposes). Have her tag along so if she sees something she can say, "Hey! That sounds good to read/watch about!" I know you're young (probably too young for the local adult stores) so maybe you two could sit down at the computer together and see if something nice could be found.
Leave it as a treat. Doing sexual things all of the time, every time you get a chance wears a person out. Eventually you don't have the same get-up-and-go. You don't have that anticipation because you know it will be coming. Cut down your sexy time and focus on other aspect of your relationship.
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