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January 5, 2010Answers:
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Hi, I'm Emily. Call me Emily or Em, I prefer either. I have been a featured columnist 2 times now. After disabling my account I had about 3 years ago, a lot has happened which made me want to come back. I feel as though helping people with their problems, helps me solve mine, even if that doesn't make a lot of sense to any of you. Don't hesitate to ask me anything, I will answer fairly quickly depending on the question. If you want a hard-thought out answer, which is what I usually give, it may take a little longer- it benefits everyone in the long run.
advice
18/f; he's 17/m. i am developing feelings for this guy but i'm not sure how he feels about me. i work with him. just started talking to him pretty recently. my friend gave me his number because i found a funny pic that reminded me of him so i sent it to him. we havent stopped texting since and this was a week ago that i first texted him. so all day every day we text. he was flirty from the start, but now his flirts are more specifically about me - like he compliments my eyes, for example. just little things like that that he couldn't really say to another girl. i'm really confused though, because there's things that lead me to believe that he likes me, and things that don't.
he describes himself as shy, but i really disagree. i think he's been pretty friendly. i've been around a shy guy that liked me before, and it's never been this difficult to decipher whether or not he wants to be more than friends. i just really want to know if he wants to be friends or likes me or not. here's some more info:
- so far each night this week, we text until we fall asleep. each morning he's been always texting me first.
- the first time we we hung out outside of work, we went to a park until 4 am just walking around and talking. we kinda got lost but found our way home then sat in his car listening to music. he didnt try to get close to me or anything, so i was kind of put off by that. he also doesn't really act like he likes me in person too much. he pretty much acted like we were friends.
- but, that night he hugged me goodbye. but it was kind of halfhearted. he didnt put much into the hug; it was kind of one-handed.
- he told me to text him in the morning that night, but when i got home i had a text from him that said "i know i said to text me in the am, but i actually had a lot of fun with you tonight :D "
- then the next day he sent me a text that said "you looked pretty beautiful last night and it would have sucked to get lost with anyone but you'
-i hugged him at work the next day, and i think it kinda freaked him out. i didn't like, attack him or anything. lol. but i think it was too long of a hug, because it seemed like he wanted to let go.
- he asked me to go to the movies with him, so we're going to the movies tomorrow.
- i'm pretty sure he has a lot of friends who are girls, so i have no idea how exclusive his behavior is. and like i said, he flirted immediately with me. i think it might just be how he is. but like i said the flirting has become more specific now.
i dont want to jump into a relationship with him, but i'm just not sure if things are even going in that direction or what. if he doesn't have feelings for me, i don't want to keep having feelings for him; i want to end the flirting if thats the case, and i'll want to think of him as just a friend then. but, if he does like me, i'd kind of like for things to keep progressing as they are. do you think i should make a move, wait for him to make a move, confront him, or give up?
any advice??
You're right, these are mixed signals! I think he sees you as a possible 'parter', but I think he just wants to give it some time and see how he feels about you as time progresses, which is perfectly fine.
I think you might also want to examine the relationship too, but it seems like your really into this guy. I personally think its very gentlemanly like (word?) to not make a move on the first date. Maybe he is nervous and hasn't that kind of relationship with anyone yet. Give it some time, and I am almost positive he will come around. It seems from what he texts you that he really likes you. Definitely don't give up on him. There could be something really special there.
(Rating: 5) thank you so much!