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Q: I'm a 22 year old female, my boyfriend is 24. We've been dating for about 10 months now. We are exclusive. I recently moved back home with my mother in Los Angeles. I was in San Francisco. My boyfriends still in San Francisco, but his family lives in Irvine. I'm not really sure if he thinks we're going to be together for long. He told me his mom said I can't go to Utah with his family for Thanksgiving. That really hurt me a lot. He also isn't coming down for my birthday because he says he has to study for school. The thing is my birthday is on a Saturday and he has the Friday and Monday off. He didn't come to my graduation and my mother's birthday. He didn't invite me to his White Coat ceremony. The day after, I went with him and his family wine tasting. His cousin asked me why I didn't go to the White Coat ceremony and he answered that I was working. I was working, but only because he didn't invite me to the White Coat ceremony. Valentines day was terrible because he said he was going to do something special, but we ended up spending it sitting around and going to sizzler with his roommates. I doubt I will be invited to his parents home for Christmas. There was always an excuse of his mother said he can't go or he has to study. He says he loves me and cares about me, but I'm starting to see that he doesn't include me in his life. Am I overreacting? Is this normally how people treat their girlfriends? I was in a serious relationship in the past and it was different.

No, that is definitely not how people should treat their girlfriends in any serious relationship. Something has to be wrong, since he is no longer including you in some important events and is constantly making excuses for why he can't go out with you. A number of things could be going on, and unless you confront him about the issues you just mentioned, there is no way of knowing. He might have lost interest in you due to the long distance (but LA to SF is not REALLY long distance, come to think of it). He might have met someone else, and is hiding it from you.. but you should not assume anything. You need to talk to him, preferably in person, and sort things out. He is not taking you, or the relationship, seriously. That is unacceptable.

If the relationship were going well, he would be excited to see you, and to include you in as many events as possible. He would make much more of an effort to make you feel loved and wanted. By the sound of it, he is doing neither. You will need to let him know--calmly, but firmly-- that you feel that things have not been going so well- that he does not include you in events (white coat ceremony), or make an effort to try to visit you when he can...and that basically, it seems that he is not interested and is not making an effort. But in the end, you need to let him know exactly how you feel, and what's bothering you, whichever way you want to put it. Do not let this turn into a fight, but don't be a pushover either. Try to see what's going on- if he is not interested in continuing with the relationship, if he met someone else, etc.. In the end, you will have to do what is right for yourself. If you feel like he continues to make you feel this way without putting an effort into improving the relationship, you might just have to step away and move on.

Rating: 5

Thanks for answering my question. I do think there is something wrong. He never seems very excited to see me. Although, the first time I left he was very upset. I will confront him about the issue.

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I am here to give honest advice, when I feel I have something to contribute. I try to be as empathetic and understanding as I can, as I know that the way something is said is as important as the message itself.

I usually advise on love/relationships, friendship and family issues, nutrition, and health (mental and physical). If I feel I can help out, there's not a whole lot I am unwilling to answer. Ask away!