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so, im 17/m, my girlfriend (17 too) and I have been going out for almost a year and 3 months now. She's my first girlfriend, but really love her.
A few weeks ago we were on our way back from some back-to-school shopping in the city and she asked me how I felt about having a girlfriend when i was in college, (we're planning on going to different colleges next year and she wasn't sure how to feel either). I freaked out, had a meltdown and told her all kinds of things i had thought about, but never acted on. Like how she's my first girlfriend and how I wasnt 100% sure of how strongly I loved her, since I havent been with anyone else. After getting back to her house, we talked some more and cried alot and decided to just be friends for a while.
I got home, felt terrible and didnt sleep at all that night. I still loved her, she never did anything that annoyed me or made me love her any less. I texted her how horrible I felt that morning and we decided to meet and talk that night.
We were back together again within 24 hours. I had never felt better. Instead of leaving her house crying, i practicaly skipped to my car and happily waved goodbye to her as i drove away. I thought we were all better.
That was a few weeks ago, and now she's telling me that she's afraid to love me because i hurt her feelings when we broke up. She did the same thing when we started going out because her last boyfriend broke up with her and made her feel terrible. Ive been working as hard as i can, spending as much time as i can with her. I guess i cant really blame her because i freaked out so badly, but i want to make us work again!
I'm running out of energy trying to love her and getting no love back. Last night she gave me a handjob and wouldnt even look me in the eyes. i felt so detached...
Is there any way to fix what we have? or was our relationship doomed all along since she's my first? What can i say or do so that she knows i love her even though ive never had anything else? (link)
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There's no rule saying that you can't be with your first love forever, it may not happen often, but it does happen. So don't give up on this relationship, because you'll only regret it. If it doesn't work out in the long run then at least you know you tried. So give it your all.
There are tons of ways to keep in touch while going to seperate colleges: Letters, texts, e-mails, phone calls, gifts... The possibilities are endless.
And you did hurt her, so just be patient. It sounds like after you broke up she raised her guard around you. Break through it; she's afraid to be hurt again so sit her down; reassure her. Make sure she knows why you said the things you did, and leave nothing un-said and make sure she does the same so you can soothe any fears she might have. Look her in the eyes and tell her you love her, and that you're sorry. Tell her how you were without her.
It might take a while to get things back to normal, but they will be. Just don't give up; you'll be fine. Inbox me if you need more advice on anything.
-Jasmine
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Rating: 4
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Thanks alot! your advice helped me get over the "hump". I wasnt sure if she would ever start loving me again, but she has started coming around. hopefully, we're back on track to continuing our great relationship. Thanks!
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