First, to give you a detailed response, I'll need the ages of both people involved (and yours, just for my own reference), and more specifics. What exactly is he saying to her to make her question herself? How does she respond to it?

I unfortunately consider myself a bit of a pro as far as mind games are concerned - That is to say, I understand people and I understand relationships. I'm going into relationship counseling as soon as I can afford another degree...

That being said, relationship games (particularly in young relationships) are push-pull games. A relationship can start out beautifully. Then, a guy pushes a girl away, and she tries to pull him closer because she's looking for validation. When the only response he gives her is negative, she starts to question herself, wonder if she's good enough. She figures she must not be attractive enough if he's being so negative, etc. Instead of becoming disinterested and running away, it becomes a cycle. If she starts to act disinterested, he'll come running and coddle her and love her and make her feel good, and then push her away again. She wonders why he's not being as loving as before - it must be her. Her self-esteem goes down. She seeks more validation. She begins to hate herself, etc.

It's a horrible cycle, but it can be broken.

This is why I need the specifics of what's going on between them - I could help you both understand when to push and when to pull, when to give him space, when to allow him to feel the chase, when to chase him, etc.

Is this a revenge tactic? Because if it is, she needs to be strong and break up with him to get out of the horrible cycle. If she knows he's wrong for her, why is she still with him? If he treats her well sometimes and she "loves" him, I can understand, and my advice will fit. If not, please send my inbox more specifics and I'll try to give you a better answer.

Good luck,

Siren

Thx hun u helped a lot!!
lxxx

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren

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